Delusions of Grandeur and Outsiders06 May 2010 09:45 am
By Dizzy

Are you sick of the election? Me too. I have a severe case of don’t give a fuck. Kind of like Terry here, although what I intend to do about my apathy – nothing – is considerably more useful than his suggestion.

Don’t vote. It only encourages ‘progressive’ dictators like Brown, Cameron and Clegg.

Become a democratist. Enforce the will of the democratic majority directly.
Terry Dean

Yeah. Enforce the/your/our will directly by embracing democracy, not voting and getting out there and making your feelings known in some other way – armed revolt, for instance. Plant a bomb or two. Or why not hijack a plane and fly it into a famous landmark?

And if you’re worried about any potential negative outcomes, you shouldn’t be. Terry will back you all the way – and right after he’s had his morning cup of tea and his wank, he’ll get right behind you by getting on the internet and making an edgy, revolutionary comment on the story that describes exactly how Special Branch shot you right between the fucking eyes. Then he’ll have another wank.

58 Responses to “Don’t vote”

  1. on 06 May 2010 at 10:34 am Alex

    First it was “Laicist”, now we have “democratist”. Is the the latest fashion in the HYS community or something?

  2. on 06 May 2010 at 10:36 am Felna

    The most amusing thing about this whole bigot comment, is the amount of people (particularly HYSers) who think that because the woman said things they agree with then she can’t really be a bigot. After all she’s only saying what the majority (of bigoted people) think.

  3. on 06 May 2010 at 10:44 am That Bloke in the Corner

    Become a democratist. Enforce the will of the democratic majority directly.
    Terry Dean

    How do I do this oh great guru Terry,
    I am willing to enforce the will of the majority, but which majority, the majority of right wing bigots? The majority of Loonygaylovinglefties, the majority of folk who are just out for a good time? Elucidate Terry elucidate.

  4. on 06 May 2010 at 10:44 am Charles Exford, Oxton

    I bet this bell-end finds it funny that three bank employees were burned to death in Greece yesterday.

    Terry Dean = Reedy Rant

  5. on 06 May 2010 at 11:16 am Philbert

    But how are we to know what exactly the will of the democratic majority is? If only there were some way of ascertaining popular opinion, a “poll” or “election”, if you will.

  6. on 06 May 2010 at 11:26 am Mr Cat

    It’s not voter apathy that worries me… it’s the fact that the BBC has provided this handy graphic for those who are too stupids to know how to actually vote:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_2010/first_time_voter/8518247.stm

    It’s as if they WANT the BNP to win Barking and Dagenham.

  7. on 06 May 2010 at 11:49 am Bugrat

    It’s as if they WANT the BNP to win Barking and Dagenham.

    No worries; for the stupids, the procedure will grind to a halt when they can’t find the candidate for MGM Alliance on their ballot paper.

  8. on 06 May 2010 at 12:01 pm Mr Cat

    Based on that sample MGM alliance would sweep to a 100% victory in the polls and stupids would rule the world.

    Someone told me this morning that the person in front of them at the polling station went to the people at the desk and asked “which name he should put an X next to”

  9. on 06 May 2010 at 12:28 pm Nelson

    I actually agree with Terry.

    Apart from the “Don’t Vote” bit. I think it’s very important to vote – by asking Doctor Who to help you work out whether there’s any point voting for who you actually agree with, or whether you need to vote LibDem to stop Lab/Con, Lab/Con to stop Con/Lab, Con/Lab to stop UKIP, UKIP to stop the fucking BNP or whether you should just draw a big cock and balls on your ballot sheet and then roll around on the polling station floor, weeping and asking for hankies.

  10. on 06 May 2010 at 12:33 pm Alex

    Become a democratist. Enforce the will of the democratic majority directly.

    Terry… is this majority you?

  11. on 06 May 2010 at 12:33 pm Dizzy

    Where the fuck’s Anytown?

  12. on 06 May 2010 at 12:34 pm Nelson

    Near Wankhampton.

  13. on 06 May 2010 at 12:35 pm dirigible

    I think I may have voted for the wrong parties due to getting the green and white ballot papers mixed up.

    This democracy lark is harder than it looks.

  14. on 06 May 2010 at 12:37 pm Dizzy

    I forgot to register to vote, so I agree, this democracy lark is quite difficult.

    I’m voting in the next Japanese elections, though.

    Don’t ask me how. I’ve already started lying about things and I don’t think I could sound very plausible about how I’m registered to vote in Japan.

  15. on 06 May 2010 at 12:37 pm Jones

    Terry, I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that the “will of the majority” was grinding your crotch against billboards displaying pictures of models in their undies. Enforce away, lad, enforce away.

  16. on 06 May 2010 at 12:46 pm Edwin

    If I become a Democratist, can I wear my spandex catsuit as uniform?

    Otherwise, I couldn’t give a fuck.

  17. on 06 May 2010 at 12:51 pm Goldstein

    Democracy’s working out pretty well for me. By the time I got to the polling station they told me they’d already done my vote and that I can just relax.

  18. on 06 May 2010 at 1:12 pm Kris

    All this talk of the election is almost making me enforce the will of the democratic majority in my pants.

  19. on 06 May 2010 at 1:13 pm Blah Blah

    Does anyone know if Mr N Craig is standing again this year?

  20. on 06 May 2010 at 1:39 pm Dizzy

    Blah Blah

    Does anyone know if Mr N Craig is standing again this year?

    Last time I heard he was posting on here pretending to be Nelson, but using his real email address.

  21. on 06 May 2010 at 1:58 pm Andy

    It’s as if they WANT the BNP to win Barking and Dagenham.

    I’m more bemused as to why James A. Williams, ex-US General and ex-Director of the Defense Intelligence Agency wants to be running for MP in a constiuency that looks like it should be in the Midlands, even if it isn’t.

  22. on 06 May 2010 at 1:58 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    Edwin

    If I become a Democratist, can I wear my spandex catsuit as uniform?

    Only if it is the enforced will of the democratic majority.

  23. on 06 May 2010 at 2:02 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    Neil doesn’t look like he is standing but he is still blogging (http://a-place-to-stand.blogspot.com/) and blowing his own trumpet as usual,try this little snippet.

    Excellent letter from Mr Craig. He is like a lone wolf howling in despair in the intellectual wilderness of our politics.

  24. on 06 May 2010 at 2:22 pm SoulBoy

    Looks like Neil will be too busy lending his crucial block of 80 voters to UKIP to Google himself today.

    I am certain that my presence & my cheery “The big parties all made a manifesto promise on a referendum & when elected cynically broke it, though it cost them nothing. If they lied on that they will lie on anything. If you don’t want to be lied to then voting UKIP is the only way to tell them” got a number of votes which would not have been available if I was not present & the others absent.

    Cheery? What a badger’s boil infested bell end

  25. on 06 May 2010 at 2:25 pm Have Your Lurk (Now in Once-a-Day Format by Popular Demand!)

    I’ve been voting in Italy for some years now. It is a horrendously fucking complex business. You can put an X over your favourite party’s logo; or write the name of your favourite politician on the line next to your party’s logo; or do both (although I’m not sure what that means, exactly). Plus each ballot sheet usually refers to multiple different elections (what? a separate ballot sheet for each election? are you nuts?!) and there are so many political parties that the ballot sheets fold out to something that approximates the size of a bedsheet. The approximately one hundred colourful party logos on the sheet always makes me want to ask the ballot station personnel if I need to throw a six to start. Oh, and there are separate voting stations for men and women. Why? Why the fuck do they just duplicate everything like that?

    It is so insanely complex that I bet they don’t even count the fucking things. They just sit around for a few hours smoking and playing cards and then they say, “Right, it’s Berlusconi’s turn again. Who’s Minister for Finance this year?”

  26. on 06 May 2010 at 2:34 pm Nelson

    Who’s Minister for Finance this year?

    Don’t they just measure the cabinet’s norks and appoint the lass with the biggest?

  27. on 06 May 2010 at 2:48 pm Dizzy

    Well, where I’m at you get a constituency vote and a party vote, and we elect list MPs. It hasn’t broken the two party system, though, and they’re all cunts anyway.

    I’d prefer the kind of government where I’m in charge and I get to dictate to people what they do. Fairly sure that hasn’t been tried before, and I’d be a benign sort of person to try it out with.

  28. on 06 May 2010 at 2:51 pm Cicciolina

    Apparently Berlusconi makes exceedingly good soap.

  29. on 06 May 2010 at 3:05 pm Oaf

    Someone told me this morning that the person in front of them at the polling station went to the people at the desk and asked “which name he should put an X next to”

    “None of them” would be the best advice.

  30. on 06 May 2010 at 3:06 pm Kris

    Heh…hehehe. Norks.

  31. on 06 May 2010 at 3:11 pm dirigible

    I had to dodge the bastards who ask you “can we see your voting card?” as I was on the way in. I’ve got progressively less polite with them over the years.

  32. on 06 May 2010 at 4:12 pm Wes

    Don’t give wanking a bad name … I like wanking :|

  33. on 06 May 2010 at 4:14 pm Kris

    Wes

    Don’t give wanking a bad name … I like wanking

    You have to admit though, as a method of Government it is ineffective at best.

  34. on 06 May 2010 at 4:34 pm unelectable

    Don’t give wanking a bad name … I like wanking

    Yes it’s time to bring it into the mainstream; perhaps they can start with a J-O race to see who should be Prime Minister?

  35. on 06 May 2010 at 4:44 pm Andy

    J-O race?

    I’d pay (some) money to watch the various party leaders play a round of soggy biscuit.

  36. on 06 May 2010 at 5:12 pm Philbert

    I had to dodge the bastards who ask you “can we see your voting card?” as I was on the way in. I’ve got progressively less polite with them over the years.

    I’ve never encountered them – who are they?

  37. on 06 May 2010 at 5:47 pm Loumo

    @Philbert
    Party activists. They tick your name off and then see who hasn’t voted and if there’s any old dears they offer them a lift.

    At mine there was a Tory and a Lib Dem. The Tory offered to watch my bike whilst I voted but I reckon he’d've had it if I’d not locked it up. Dave’s must need replacing regularly given the gay abandon with which he approaches cycle security.

  38. on 06 May 2010 at 6:01 pm ad ho

    Club Owner: That sounds like some act. What are you called?

    Terry Dean: The Democratists.

  39. on 06 May 2010 at 6:20 pm Philbert

    @Loumo

    Ah, I see. I live in a rock-solid Labour seat, so they probably can’t be arsed.

  40. on 06 May 2010 at 8:28 pm welsh boy

    Luckily for the bigots in my area the BNP candidate looks like the sort of Neanderthal that you’d expect. Though I was disappointed to see that he omitted his address from the ballot paper so I couldn’t take some friends round to have a chat with him about his policies :-(

  41. on 06 May 2010 at 11:07 pm Dizzy

    welsh boy

    Luckily for the bigots in my area the BNP candidate looks like the sort of Neanderthal that you’d expect. Though I was disappointed to see that he omitted his address from the ballot paper so I couldn’t take some friends round to have a chat with him about his policies

    I’m sure you could read the manifesto instead. Saves on shoe leather and getting your skull fractured by a bunch of angry racists.

  42. on 06 May 2010 at 11:10 pm Roeby

    @ welsh boy

    Why don’t you just Google him? One of his dumb-arse ‘colleagues’ will have posted all his personal details somewhere on the web.

    Or will have made a video of him with a jar of popular (or not) savoury spread bouncing round his head.

  43. on 07 May 2010 at 12:01 am Jedrek

    Maybe Terry is just really sad, because he still didn’t find his frog:

    http://www.lostfrog.org/

  44. on 07 May 2010 at 12:37 am Sir Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon

    erm, has anyone else noticed the BNP’s colour on the BBC’s election results web sight …. it’s brown.

  45. on 07 May 2010 at 1:01 am Dizzy

    That’s the traditional indigenous colour of working class people covered in filth.

  46. on 07 May 2010 at 1:41 am Andy

    Dizzy: That’s how we can tell any random bod isn’t a king…

  47. on 07 May 2010 at 2:12 am Sir Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon

    @Dizzy, brown is not the “traditional colour of working class covered in filth”, it’s obviously good old English (not British) BLACK from working down pit.

  48. on 07 May 2010 at 2:49 am Dizzy

    That depends. Clearly, as Andy pointed out, it depends on whether or not your primary form of local government is an anarcho-syndicalist commune or whether you’re of the kind that prefers watery tarts distributing scimitars as a method for choosing representation.

  49. on 07 May 2010 at 7:38 am Sheepless

    @ welsh boy

    Didn’t you get the BNP membership list from wikileaks? Full addresses and phone numbers in there.

  50. on 07 May 2010 at 7:54 am welsh boy

    @Dizzy

    I’ve had the manifesto but all it consisted of was a colouring book called “GREAT BRITISH PEOPLE” and a solitary white crayon.

    On a more serious note the leaflet that was snuck through my door had a sickening picture of Nick Griffin side by side with a picture of Winston Churchill as to say Churchill saved us before and Griffin will save us now.

    I would have wiped my arse with it but was worried that I’d feel viloated.

  51. on 07 May 2010 at 7:58 am welsh boy

    @Roeby and Sheepless

    I don’t actually want to know where he lives (other than perhaps to know where to avoid) but I was heartened to find that his address was listed as “in the Blaenau Gwent area” which meant that they were unable to find a more local bigot to stand (seeing as I live in the Bridgend area – I know people will think it’s all Wales but they are different areas honest)

  52. on 07 May 2010 at 7:59 am Oaf

    You have to admit though, as a method of Government it is ineffective at best.

    It seems to have worked fairly well up to now.

  53. on 07 May 2010 at 8:14 am Middle Class Ponce

    Who says that first past the post doesn’t work? It looks like we’ve ended up with the government that most people wanted. The most common opinion was “They’re all a bunch of cunts and I don’t trust any of themto run the country.”, and that’s what we got..

  54. on 07 May 2010 at 8:26 am Doc Wrong

    I’ve been one of the people checking off poll cards, it’s actually very nice to do as you check for all of the parties and it’s quite jolly amongst those working for the various parties. I stopped doing it after the amount of rude irascible cunts were really cunty twat baskets towards us all . Sound familiar dirigible?

  55. on 07 May 2010 at 9:15 am Dizzy

    Middle Class Ponce

    Who says that first past the post doesn’t work? It looks like we’ve ended up with the government that most people wanted. The most common opinion was “They’re all a bunch of cunts and I don’t trust any of themto run the country.”, and that’s what we got..

    Win.

    I’m rubbing my groin with delight at the idea that HYS might have to deal with coalition government. There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth, and I’ll be right there to cry in despair at every single wail and gnash.

  56. on 07 May 2010 at 9:24 am Turtillian of Pizza

    erm, has anyone else noticed the BNP’s colour on the BBC’s election results web sight …. it’s brown.

    They just went with the colour of shirt most of the party members prefer.

  57. on 07 May 2010 at 10:24 am Have Your Lurk (Now in Once-a-Day Format by Popular Demand!)

    You may not be aware that in Ireland, in the 1930s, we had our very own answer to the Brownshirts and the Blackshirts.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blueshirts

    (The IRA had already bagged green as their shirt colour.)

    It was a sort of cargo-cult thing. There was really no racial minority in Ireland at the time to beat up and blame. But they saw these movements in the UK and in Europe, and I suppose they thought that if they had the shirts, the Hail Caesar salute and the mass rallies, that they didn’t really need the Jews as well.

  58. on 07 May 2010 at 12:03 pm ds

    erm, has anyone else noticed the BNP’s colour on the BBC’s election results web sight …. it’s brown.

    I was thinking it looked a little more, you know, HBlock beige.