Scene: baseball game, Philadelphia. Seventeen year old runs on pitch for a larf, gives fat copper the runaround. Fat copper can’t catch seventeen year old, so pulls out a Taser and zaps the little bastard. Hilarity all round, except for the minor having a spasm about on the floor.
Knobhead on the Times applauds, loses thirty years from memory:
This is the sort of hardline approach to policing that wee need to adopt in the UK. Another example is the Times Square bomber – he’s been charged already. In the UK the police would still be gathering evidence! I live in Belfast, and if a US style police force was implemented here – the dissident paramilitaries would be a thing of the past.
Adam Leslie
Even better, send the troops in. That’ll show ‘em.
48 Responses to “Paul Blart: Baseball Cop”
Oh, please. Which fallacy is this, CTC-from-the-previous-thread? “I live in Belfast, therefore I am automatically an expert on all things related to civil unrest and paramilitary violence.”
I’m glad my second name isn’t a woman’s first name. I’d probably be upset too.
Looks to me like an appeal to misleading authority. I still can’t do links… http://www.fallacyfiles.org/authorit.html
Gotta love:-
Oh, shit! Not gathering evidence? Don’t the police have anything better to do with their time than building solid convictions and preventing false ones? I mean, we already have a service dedicated to doing that; the name of it escapes me, but they wear police uniforms, drive police cars and work out of police stations – anyone know?
@Goosey
Evidence-gathering just slows down the process of JUSTICE. In the UK, the average waiting time for justice is currently 28 months. If this could be reduced to 11 seconds as in the baseball tasing video, just think how much more just we’d be.
Even better, send the troops in. That’ll show ‘em
Poof. Shoot to kill-that’ll show ‘em
Such wisdom! If the RUC had responded to harmless teenage pranks with electrocution, the IRA would have laid down their arms immediately. For goodness sake, when will be British police forces lose their sense of proportion and human decency and simply kill anyone they disapprove of?
They could start with people who can’t spell ‘we’.
It’s a logical fallacy, but it’s actually a form of cognitive dissonance called a self-perception bias. It’s probably also combined with the mere exposure effect. There’s also another effect at work, and that’s the cormorant’s clunge effect, which says that Adam Leslie is a cormorant’s clunge. I think that one’s the decider when discussing this.
What’s the betting Adam doesn’t even live in Belfast, but just thought pretending to would make people listen to his views on policing?
Taser……charged…get it?
Hyuk hyuk hyuk.
I apologise on Belfast’s behalf. Although when I was in 2nd year of high school, my technology teacher taught us how to make an incendiary device.
Dizzy,
Ah, but surely the key question in the case of Adam Leslie is if the cormorant’s clunge effect is a cause of his dissonance.
Of course, this type of psychological conundrum can only be solved with Adam Leslie and a taser. The things we have to do in the name of science.
From what I can tell, for two events to be comparable in Adam Leslie ‘s fractured mind, human beings had to be present, and maybe, it had to happen in the same country.
In that case, consider what happened at the Columbine shootings. Another example is when Jay Leno interviewed Kanye West.
Is it Lighthouse Keepers?
Well if he likes American policing so much…
Ugly Buffy: I apologise on Belfast’s behalf. Although when I was in 2nd year of high school, my technology teacher taught us how to make an incendiary device.
I was taught how to make a bomb in Chemistry and I was raised in deepest darkest Cheshire…
…doesn’t mean I can simply make sweeping statements like Adam Leslie is more than likely a cunt. Oh…
Think about it this way; if that fat mother fucker had a gun and not a taser, the kid would be dead!
Now, this sounds like an over reaction, but consider this. HE WOULD NEVER COMMIT ANOTHER CRIME AGAIN. The kind of anti social scum who thinks it’s a laugh to run around on a field is obviously going to commit another crime at some point in his life. Well, not any more.
If the Met had simply adopted this no-nonsense approach to policing during the G20 protests last year then I’m sure things would have passed peacefully and entirely without incident. Or at least perhaps the Old Bill would have only killed/maimed those present who truly deserved it (the hippies).
What a colossal cunt Adam Leslie is.
Bear in mind those hippies haven’t had a good police beating since the battle of the beanfield. they’re getting proper uppity.
Spin, Spin, Spin the wheel of Justice. See how fast that bastard turns…
But, in all seriousness – shouldn’t this necrophiliac narwhal’s nematode nested ‘nad sac be a Retired Colonel as well?
!?
But what if the police tasered a bomber and triggered his explosives? THEN WHAT, ADAM LESLIE?
Appeal to truth. Since there is no such thing as truth, the argument must be flawed. Since the argument is flawed it cannot be – hang on…
I felt this cunt deserved a mention:
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t the biggest fan of the Labour Government either. But to describe them as “extreme left wing” you would have to be standing somewhere to the right of Mussolini.
@Oxdown Gazette – I missed the first line of your post and actually thought it was you taking the piss. I’m now very depressed.
Sod this – I’m going for a we.
Knock down ginger should be punishable by castration and as for scrumping…. don’t get me started.
What bugs / amuses / bores me is how the HYSers are convinced that the entire left half of the political spectrum contains only ‘lunatics’ and ‘nutters’.
Damn the lunatics and nutters in the totalitarian extreme-left legitimately winning three democratic general elections and then also winning (in a different guise) influence in a fourth.
They are clearly insane.
I guess this is why System F (who is surprisingly coherent, at least grammatically) and the like, bathing in their sea of rationality, must be so paranoid all the time.
[blockquote]What bugs / amuses / bores me is how the HYSers are convinced that the entire left half of the political spectrum contains only ‘lunatics’ and ‘nutters’.[/blockquote]
Slavoj Zizek said about the teabaggers in America that they don’t actually *believe* in their hearts that Obama is actually Muslim and foreign-born, but by repeating that they are actualising (or verbalising)their ultra-conservative politics.
I agree with Zizek here (and i suppose that makes me an ultra-extremist-marxist-black-disabled-lesbian as well) and i claim that System F does not *really* believe in the deepest rrecesses of his imbecilic heart, that Labour were actually communists, but that he is putting into action his ultra-libertarian politics.
But it is this precise lack of real belief in what he says that makes him even more of a cunt.
awww bollocks fuck you blockquote!
@Ripoff Britain
Confused now. was that supposed to be
or not?
(Please let that work, I’ve never tried one before and it’s going to look pretty fucking Objectivist if it goes wrong)
Fine you cunt, rub it in, i’m just gonna go and fist myself to death in impotent rage
My favorite taser news item involved a ten-year-old girl in Arkansas whose mother called the police because she was throwing a tantrum. The cop told her she was going to jail and tasered her to get her to go limp so he could get her into the police car.
Afterwards he was quoted as giving the whole little speech about how nobody likes doing these things but it’s just part of the job, ma’am, which I associate more with having to remove children from drug-addicted parents and the like than electrocuting fourth-graders, but I’m no Adam Leslie.
http://www.myeyewitnessnews.com/news/local/story/Police-Used-Taser-on-10-Year-Old-Girl-in-Arkansas/TmJF90vcV0iCT_hYQHl1Gg.cspx Make sure to read the comments, they’re more than HYS-worthy.
RE the Arkansas story, this chap has cut right to the core issue:
Yeah. It reminds me when the Met used to waste all those public funds beating up black kids. Why couldn’t their lazy fucking parents just beat them up at home for free?
Cops like tazing people offering no resistance at baseball games
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcklIVkphxA
I think my favourite taser story is the ozzie cops who thought it’d be a plan to zap some poor aborigine fucker who’d been huffing petrol all day. Sparks + benzene = fuckwits
Ta for the links on the last entry, Chaise Guevara and Mirelurk.
I am about to delurk purely to say that Leslie is usually a man’s name, and the woman’s spelling is generally Lesley. (Like it matters when the other kids are pointing and laughing.)
Yes, I am every bit as ashamed of myself as I should be.
CTC-
Don’t mention it. However, I feel duty-bound to warn you that you’re now condemned to a lifetime of irritating your friends by saying things like “but that’s a total argumentum ad populum!” during conversations.
Actually, want a protip? Avoid learning the Latin altogether. Except for “reducto ad Hitlerum”, because it sounds funny and isn’t really Latin anyway.
Mim’s delurking off the starboard bow! Good word, that.
@CTC
But if you don’t have the Latin you can never be a High Court judge and will have to go down the mines.
Sad to say, with my social democratic views, I am an extreme left wing nazi commie psycho nutter to most HYSers. Good.
But then Thatcher/CaMORON will close all the mines and you’ll have to join the protests and you’ll get tased and end up having cocks in the Times offer their stupid brain dribble on it, which will then make it onto SYB.
Is that what you WANT?
Add an @Mal onto that post and it looks a little less like the laments of a lunatic.
Alliteration is fun.
I think pretty much everybody knows how to make a rudimentary bomb out of stuff you can buy at Homebase and stuff you can buy at Tesco. It seems so bizarre that people can get into so much trouble just for saying what that stuff is or having it written down. Everybody, or at least everybody who is mildly curious about it, already knows this stuff.
It isn’t ignorance that prevents the population playing with homemade explosives as a hobby; it is a desire not to accidentally blow their fingers off. They need them for wanking and posting on the internet. It isn’t ignorance that prevents everybody using bombs to advance their political objectives; it is the fact that most people, even most of the big talking HYS morons, are not such utter cunts when it comes actually doing something evil.
You’re probably right, and it was adjusted accordingly. I made him an Armchair General, in the absence of any police related category.
@tw@basket.com
Most terrorists don’t actually know how to make their own bombs. They just buy them from international arms dealers. (See, Nelson? You’ve made a new man of me!)
Is this post a tribute to violent copper Gene Hunt, whose finale in Ashes to Ashes is being shown tonight?
Imagine the Gene Genie running round Belfast with a taser, he’d fucking love that.
“STOP! You’re surrounded by 3 armed bastards!”.
“STOP! You’re surrounded by 3 armed bastards!”.
I didn’t know that bastards had three arms.
My coat only has two, but I’ll get it anyway.