The Japanese Prime Minister has resigned over a broken electoral promise and the BBC has asked a load of people who’d never heard of him before whether they think he did the right thing. I’ve just spent an unhappy few minutes reading through the answers in an attempt to find one that didn’t contain the word “honour”. There weren’t any. It got slightly more bearable and entertaining when I started imagining them all saying the word “honourable” in a piss-take Japanese accent. Here, try it.
Mr. Hatoyama is obviously a very decent and honourable man. By tradition Japanese culture encourages this type of behaviour. In the UK however [... goes on for some time ...]
warriorsottovoce
See?
If his resignation is over breaking an election pledge & simply that then he is a man of honour.
ian cheese
Nice one Ian! Apparently he was extremely worried about bringing shame to his famiry and had even contemprated suicide before he saw your comment. He asked me to tell you that he’s feeling “a rot better now”.
114 Responses to “Most Honorobbo Man”
I’m with Catherine Oliver on this one.
What a bunch of pan-fried otter borrocks.
I too am with Catherine Oliver and DonkeySquicker. Having never heard of Mr Hatoyama before, I have always found him inscrutable.
It was inebitable
*Releases inner Prince Phillip*
Found it helped to read the comments with two pieces of tape either side of my eyes.
Surely it’s pan-flied otter borrocks.
Mine’s the attractive floral pattern kimono, thanks.
HYS is also running a, er, debate on the Israeli raid of the Gaza aid convoy.
Yeah, I know, this isn’t in the same league as some HYS nutters, but it made me smile. If I’m a wrong-thinking person then it’s OK by you if I buy Israeli produce, have I got that right?
Is that where he’s been?
Surely it isn’t.
Either you pronounce Rs as Ls or Ls as Rs. Not both.
Sorry to be serious. To add some comedy I wrote Rs….. sounds a bit like arse!
@One of the Eds – ooh, yes… and the inner should really have been an “into”.
Insufferable Cunt – depends on if your using one of them computers with an Intel Processor, I suppose…
I bet Ian Cheese has hung a cheap ‘samurai sword’ he bought from a mail order catalogue over his living room radiator. He glances at it fondly while flicking through his ‘Osprey Samurai Warriors’ picture book and weeping fat salty tears over those honolable men who hacked each other to fuck all those years ago.
I bet he also uses the term ‘Easy-peesy-Japanezee’ without any apparent sense of irony.
warriorsottovoce saw Shogun on telly when he was a teenager and so is well-qualified to speak about the intricacies of Japanese society.
He also thinks of Richard Chamberlain when he has a wank
Lacists
@Oaf
Not really. Japanese has no L or R but rather has a single sound that is sort of halfway between the two; the same goes for B and V, and I think S and TH. It’s quite common for the two two to be used in place of each other.
Anyhoo, yes, well done HYS for honoulabry keeping stereotypes alive.
(woo, its coming thick and fast)…. ad to last brainfart – “and I can tell you he loves to slur around my Jap’s eye”
My latest name change, when used to address me, as in:
@Insufferable Cunt…
is really bringing it home to me that I’m an insufferable cunt. I mean, it really feels like I’m being called an insufferable cunt. I know that sounds a bit Catherine Oliver, but really, lads, it is that simple.
Because I’m kind of a nice guy at heart (so says my therapist, anyway), I’ll keep this name for a while so you can all get it out of your systems. I figure I’ve got it coming.
*braces self for thousands of gratuitous Insufferable Cunt addressings*
Disclaimer: No otters’ bollocks were pan-fried in the writing of this post.
Ah, I love this website. I want to cuddle it forever and feed it pan-fried otter bollocks every day.
On a tangential note – does anyone else have to restrain themselves when a young person utters the words “I’m learning Japanese!”? Show me the acceptance letter for your Japanese course – nope, you do not have one, you are not, in fact, “learning Japanese”, you are an insufferable cock who wants to sound exotic, and I, in turn, want to stab you in the face. Not at all honourably.
@Olli,
Remove yourself back 40 years and replace “Japanese” with “French” and I’m sure you’d have the same outcome…. the reason why those insufferable gits had a chance to sprog is that you cannot have someone’s eye out with a baguette.
Pan-Flied Ottel Vollockth?
*spells baguette properly*, tits!
Or even Pan-Flied Ottel Vorrckth.
Fuck this – I’m off to bed.
Isn’t that the Third Pan-Flied Ottel Vollockth?
Pan-Flied Ottel Vollockth the Third is a character in the next Terry Pratchett Novel.
Ein Vollockth, Ein Ottel, Ein Wanne briet, surely?
Ok, say that translates as:
A Vollockth, a Ottel, tub
but you get the gist?!?!
Tarka Dal – anyone?
ahh… toss!
the words “I’m learning Japanese!” in that context actually mean “I’m watching shitloads of Anime and using the recurring phrases in conversation.
Pretentious? Watashi wah?
Pan-Flied Ottel Vollockth just sounds like your tongue is still numb from the dentists
What a pile of fucking Blah…
In the late 1980s Japanese Prime Minister Sosuke Uno stepped down after his mistress went public about their affair. Apparently his colleagues forced him out on the assumption that if he couldn’t even manage his mistress, he couldn’t possibly manage the country. Most honorobbo.
The Japanese… a great bunch o’ lads.
パンフライドボロックス
I think what you meant was:
揚げカワウソのくだらないパン
If I’m right.
I think I’ve genuinely got a problem with addiction to this site. Is there anywhere I can go, a twelve-step programme I can sign up to, a solution that doesn’t involve chopping half my brain off and spending the rest of my life on HYS?
Just asking.
Ah. I appear to have done a Kadir-Buxton Hand-Crap. Anyone got a Kreenex?
When using Google Translate you should always translate it back again to make sure it kept the meaning in tact.
“Pan fried otter bollocks” -> 揚げカワウソのくだらないパン -> “Pan Fried stupid otter”, which is a completely different recipe.
“Pan fried otter bollock” -> 揚げカワウソのボロックパン -> “Fried Borokkupan otter”, which is much more pleasing.
“Pan fried otter balls” -> パン揚げカワウソボール -> “Otter Ball Pan Fried”, which is more literal.
I think this may be the closest: 揚げカワウソの睾丸をパン (“Pan fried testicles of otter”) but it is also the most boring. I preferred Pretentious japanese-studying git’s version, which I assume to be a phonetic rendering:
パンフライドボロックス -> Panfuraidoborokkusu
This brings us neatly back to the comedy accents.
Translations are hard. Once I tried to translate ‘How much is that doggy in the window’ into German, but didn’t know how to say waggly tail. I settled for ‘wavy bum-hand’.
It’s a false friend. ‘Wavy gum-hand’ in German means ‘Mother-in-law (or other family relation by marriage) who shits on the Aga and ruins Christmas dinner and then blames it on a neighbour (or other non-blood-relative of the owner of the Aga)’. If you only knew how many times that one tripped me up.
BUM HAND! WAVY BUM HAND!
عموم الخصية المقلية من قضاعة
…as Osama bin Laden would say.
WAVY BUM HAND SURPRISE!
Too many major news stories happening for Colin100′s liking:
Yeah BBC! Find some real news for fucks sake!! Like the pothole in Colin100′s street that his local paper won’t take any interest in. Who gives a fuck about spree killings and state sponsored murder on the high seas anyway!
“Translations are hard. Once I tried to translate ‘How much is that doggy in the window’ into German, but didn’t know how to say waggly tail. I settled for ‘wavy bum-hand’.”
While this cracked me up, I am now doomed to a life of hearing “wavy bum-hand” whenever anyone says tail. I’m watching the Sopranos tonight, and am in no doubt that at some point the feds will put a wavy bum-hand on Tony’s car.
“Who gives a fuck about spree killings and state sponsored murder on the high seas anyway!”
Well, the cast of Pirates of the Carribean, obviously.
“Wavy Bum hand”
Omodeto gozaimasu.
(Name change based on the lack of response to my invitation, for which see above. Logical.)
Anyway. BP oil spill. Mark Smith writes:
Can someone on the BoD of BP please pass that on to the CEO? I’m sure he’ll never have thought of that.
James chips in:
Wouldn’t it be great if all HYS posters had a little disclaimer at the end of their posts? “IT’S NULIARBORE’S FAULT FOR LETING IMAGRUNTS BY BP PETROL USIN THEAR BENEFITS. (note: I am a cunt.)” That’d be refreshing.
I forget who this guy is, ‘cos I’ve closed my HYS browser window, sorry:
Reminds me of “As a mother of four with another on the way, my ironing board is always up.”
But today’s prize goes to mridul_h, who seems to be under the impression that BP’s HR department regularly scans HYS for job applications.
I mean, fuuuuuck. If I had a PhD, I’m pretty sure I’d know how to 1) construct sentences and 2) find the BP “Work with us” link.
Come to think of it, I already know both of those things.
Fans of Nigel Molesworth will kno that the school’s motto was “Quantum ille canis est in fenestra” which is the same phrase in latin.
Compare to Italy. Silvio Berlusconi was found to be regularly getting his end away with a whole army of lovely Italian ladies, and the political backlash could be summed up as: “Whoa, that Silvio Berlusconi, he’s just way out there. A proper role model for Italians to look up to.”
The Times has started charging for content. Andy, Wiltshire gives his 2 cents:
Er, Andy: your post contains no news. Oh, and you’re a cunt. Suck my dick.
If Murdoch & Ballmer are a Sith master and apprentice, then Andy is Jaar Jaar Binx’s idiot cousin-sister’s fanny.
Oh, and you’re a cunt. Suck my dick.
Now I’ve nothing against your prolific outpourings (‘fnarr), but please, please, please be slightly more constructive in your insults…. toodle-pip!
hows come me worked when me
@ ad ho
Murdoch is a Sith Lord. It all makes so much sense now.
Anyone seen Littlejohn’s addition to the Cumbria tragedy? “It’s all terrible, everyone did a good job, EXCEPT THIS ONE PLOD ON TV WHO CALLED THE KILLER “MISTER” BIRD”.
Yeah, Dicky, that’s right. You spotted the bastard out of the day’s news coverage, now go and lie down, or better yet, fuck off.
Gah!
fail
I saw a film, called ‘Running’ or something, where a Japanese leader resigns and the next thing you know there’s a huge 3-way barney with clouds of arrows everywhere and colour-coordinated horses. Ian Cheese and warriorsottovoce have forgotten that you can have too much fucking honour.
@Richard Littlejohn’s Funny Bollock
Was he outraged that the plod didn’t call him ‘Mister Whore’?
Yes, because everybody with a PhD has to speak English like a native, even if it’s their third or fourth language.
You spend all those years working in your chosen field, but it don’t mean shit unless you can write proper like wot we do, apparently.
Littlejohn December 2006
Littlejohn June 2010
Ahem.
(takes breath)
CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Kris’s lungs appear to be too big for the site’s content overflow rules. Just removing any ambiguity for a chance reader over what Richard Littlejohn is.
Ohhhhhhhh, ‘cunt’. I thought Kris was going for ‘cupcake’.
I was going to say. That’d be wrong. If I’m right.
I thought ‘cuddle’. With the suggestion that all he needs is a nice cuddle to sort him out. But then again I am a 900 pound grizzly bear. I can’t even give myself away for free at a brewery these days.
Well, it did it for me.
And not ‘someone who works as a cunt’.
Bugger, link fail.
And not someone who works as a cunt.
You’ve no idea of the warm, cuddly feeling your post has produced in my heart. It somehow makes it all worthwhile.
I’ll leave it as an exercise to the reader to figure out how it’s OK to call a HYS cunt a cunt, but to invite him, or her, or indeed it, or them, et al., to engage in a demeaning sexual practice thereby conveying – well, I say conveying, but I suppose I actually mean spelling the fucking concept right out in their language – the idea that their HYS cockdribble might not be the most intelligent piece of prose on what Umberto Eco called, “The Mother of All Lists”, i.e. the internet.
Well, all right. And I suppose his English (assuming he’s a he, of course) is actually better than the average HYS cunt, now that I come to think about it.
Fixed:
…isn’t OK.
“Was he outraged that the plod didn’t call him ‘Mister Whore’?”
You joke, but the title ‘Mister’, as you know, is bequeathed by the Queen herself only to those most deserving, the princes and goodly knights of the land, and therefore should not be sullied by being used on a crazy person. Or a woman, obviously.
Perhaps Littlejohn should get his news from his own paper instead? They no doubt went with MURDERING CUNTRAG CUNT MURDERS INNOCENT KIDDIES THEN BLOWS OWN CUNTING FACE OFF. IMMIGRANTS NO DOUBT INVOLVED AT SOME POINT.
Actually I believe they went with the same angle everyone else did, which was A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY HAS OCCURED A MAN HAS INEXPLICABLY AND HORRIFICALLY MURDERED SOME PEOPLE, NOW TO PRACTICALLY WANK OVER LOADS OF PICTURES OF HIM AND THE VICTIMS, TELL THE STORY IN THE MOST GRUESOME, GLEEULLY DESCRIPTIVE WAY POSSIBLE, BUT IT’S OK BECAUSE WE’RE SAYING HOW HORRIBLE IT IS.
Mail Online, however, did all this and put a picture of Kelly Brook in a bikini next to it, so they retain their crown as biggest badger’s buttholes.
Ever wondered what Cuger Brant looks like?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cugerbrant/3490659715/
Richard Littlejohn writes:
Why did this lunatic kill twelve decent hard-working Middle Class people when there are so many ‘sex workers*’(or filthy gyppos) out there he could have killed which would have done us all a favour and given me something to fantasize about while wanking.
*Or as they should be called filthy whores tempting honest men into depravity with their short skirts, high-heels and wanton displays and who all laugh at my tiny penis even after they’ve had £10 from me for a hand-job.
You couldn’t get it up!
It’s a pro account and everything. He means business. Or, at least, he did when he set it up
I’ve just realised. warriorsottovoce contains ‘otto’, which sort of brings to mind ‘otter’, and therefore – can a sautéed male amphibian mammal’s breeding apparatus be far away?
Or I could just get my coat. That one, thanks. Yes, with the Care Bears iron-on patches.
Irrespective of his language difficulties, he shares mutual LOVE with animals:
http://mmhazarika.blogspot.com/2010/04/my-falling-of-intense-love-with-two.html
Two animals and a mammal? WTF?
“Actually I believe they went with the same angle everyone else did, which was A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY HAS OCCURED A MAN HAS INEXPLICABLY AND HORRIFICALLY MURDERED SOME PEOPLE, NOW TO PRACTICALLY WANK OVER LOADS OF PICTURES OF HIM AND THE VICTIMS, TELL THE STORY IN THE MOST GRUESOME, GLEEULLY DESCRIPTIVE WAY POSSIBLE, BUT IT’S OK BECAUSE WE’RE SAYING HOW HORRIBLE IT IS.”
Tell me about it. Even Metro, which is normally halfway-sensible, got in on the act. About 8 full pages, two days after the event, headlined “HE KILLED 12 BUT TOOK SO MANY MORE LIVES”.
That said, Metro now uses “pervert” as shorthand for “paedophile”. Now, I’d call paedos perverts myself, but I’m not meant to be a responsible journalist. Maybe Metro’s just shit.
Compare to:
- Princess Diana, orgy wankfest, How We All Loved Her Really And Didn’t Think She Was A Munchhausen’s By Proxy Sufferer
- What’s her name who got killed not long after, Julie Dando(?). Every paper basically gave her something like 20 pages of blanket coverage. Yeah, it was a tragedy, I know, I know etc. That’s the trouble with objecting to giving over the entire Daily Mail to something like that. If you object, you just “don’t care”.
The editors of Metro, etc. are probably thinking, “How can we bump up the body count? Maybe if we factor in the wind chill, like they do with temperatures? Crazed Cumbrian gunman kills 25* in rampage… Yeah, let’s go with that headline tomorrow.”
*Seasonally adjusted figure
Here’s an example of decent news reporting. In Milan in late 2001, a light aircraft crashed into the city’s only skyscraper. The pilot had had a heart attack. I think 1 or maybe 2 people were killed in the accident.
In fairness to the Italian press, which is just as shit as in any other country, they reported it as good news. I think the headline was something like PIRELLI SKYSCRAPER SAVES RESIDENTIAL AREA OF CITY FROM PLANE CRASH.
Now that’s what I call positively creative journalism.
I think I’ll have the pan-fried otter bollocks with chips and salad…
I’m sorry, we’re out of frying oil.
The HYS debate on car insurance costs. (“Is it too high?”)
“Octopus – PR Agent for the Establishment” wrote:
His point again, rephrased:
When it comes to celebrity deaths, and *especially* to the death of the Princess of our Express, it can really be said that no, I quite simply don’t care. I don’t give 2 shits, or even a pan fried otter bollock, about what they did before, during, or after death.
On the other hand, I don’t object to the Mail, Express, or, indeed, the entirety of the British press filling up the front, second, or all pages with mawkish drivel about them. there’s 2 reasons for this: 1 is that, even if I didn’t live in communist frenchystan, I don’t read the shitsheets anyway, and the second is that more space for dead celebs is less space for reactionary crap.
Anyway, speaking of the Express, I just delved into it’s “Have your say” section. Obviously, this is not to be confused with the BBC’s service of the same name. For the question “SHOULD ALL OF LABOUR’S SO-CALLED GREEN TAXES BE SCRAPPED AT ONCE?”, we have Mr Harri_if_hipphopper_wants_a_date_just_ask saying:
Oh. Maybe it *is* the same “have your say”
Salad?
Who let the posh git in here?
I read that as “never had a crush in my life”. Which would make sense, if he doesn’t count his obvious vehicle-fancying tendencies.
You only *have* to pay for third-party; your insurers can tell a gullible gopher gonad when they see one.
Sufferable cunt:
No Ola? Then I’ll have the Midge’s nuttocks sauted in the house special, used Trex.
Balls, I forgot to change my name back. Now who’s the cu
I can’t remember what my other name here was…any way I’m going to stick with otter knackers for a while…
As it’s the day of legally truncated opening hours, I’m renewing my despair by reading the should we be teaching our kids how to think? thread.
I’m not sure how James‘ reasoning works – he writes several paragraphs of the usual boring stuff, then throws an unexpected IYLISMWDYGLT into the mix:
Simon Danes may be guilty of a making-it-up by claiming that this
is all part of the plan to “…start closing the churches”, but soon reveals
his vested interest in the status quo:
If RE weren’t taught in schools, then he’d be out of a job and the kids
wouldn’t give a shit about his qualifications.
loki-tom must have been sitting up all night in order to get a
head-start on the new HYS topic. It certainly paid off, as the following made
it to #1:
I was hoping Poe would make a ruling on that one, but
MrWonderfulReality takes the ball and runs with it, touching down
beyond the Godwin line.
I’ll leave it on, thanks, I won’t be stopping.
Pan-fried otter bollocks (Warning: may contain nuts)
I can’t get the bloody phrase out of my head now. Maybe Nelson meant pan-fried utter bollocks.
I seem to recall that they used to spend a lot of time in RE lessons banging on about some chap called Jesus and his dad and how great they were but I don’t remember them talking about Hitler at all really.
Well, you’re in luck.
I read this as
I read it as “Again, I say all this as a humongous gannet’s grungey gash stuffed with pan-fried otter bollocks and sage in a white wine sauce.”
For whatever the fuck Have Your Luck is calling himself nowadays:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1284577/Sandra-Bullock-kisses-Scarlett-Johansson-MTV-Movie-Awards.html
MTV Awards or Baftas, it’s hard to tell which is the more annoying pile of shit, but there we go.
By the way, there must be some SYB-worthy comments on the story about the fox and the babies. It has brought out hundreds of commentators on the DM; the usual foxhunting debate, eco-warriors, endless fox experts, conspiracy theorists and a whole plethora of nutters. Atlhough at 613 comments and counting, it’s a whole load of sewerage to wade through.
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
Why doesn’t that surprise me? It is a perfect story for people looking to spout their prejudices because it contains two emotive subjects (foxes and young children) and very little in the way of certain facts to get in the way of a good, solid, uninformed rant for either side.
The truth of what happened will come out at some point when doctors, vets and other genuine experts (not the same as “experts” on web forums) evaluate the evidence (that’s evidence that they have access to and people on web forums don’t) however, by this time, the twatterati will have lost interest and will be ranting about something else.
Thing is, when I’m in the pub and I’ve had a skinful I’ll whinge like a HYSer with the best of them, and so will my friends. Next morning, though, by mutual agreement and embarrassment we all silently agree to forget what was said about more or less everything, because we know in hindsight that it was pure bollocks of the highest order. All stuff said between friends, got it out of our system, didn’t really mean it etc.
But do that on HYS, and the comment is there forever, and they build up after a while into a great, big pan-fried otter etc. etc. …
Can we have a targeted blah effect on a certain lost-its-funniness phrase, please?
Please?
Sorry HYLurk(current iteration)but sidestep makes a valid point here. I mean, who the hell does she think she is, deflecting attention away from her private life? Doesn’t she realise that she’s public property, with no right to a “private life”? Lowered standards indeed, methinks.
Anyway, did you see that story last year about some guy who started out with a paperclip and kept swapping it on t’interwebs for something bigger until he ended up with a house? Well – have you considered starting out with something small that you possess (you’ll think of something – maybe a left testicle) and swapping it upwards until you end up owning Sandra Bullock? I mean – she’s available and all, and bollock to Bullock has a certain ring to it.
Bugrat:
I agree but it’ll be difficult to sweep out out all allusion to the blahdy blah blah bla bla blah blah blurgh bla bla bladhy blah blah blahdy blah blaa
Fuck!
@random punter
Wow. Now that’s a cool idea. Actually, I can start with my hi-fi system or flat-screen TV or something, which should save some time because it would take about 5 years to swap up my left testicle to flat-screen TV. But from there it should only take a year or so to get to a Ferrari 360. Which means I should be cuddling up to dear Sandra on her death bed, because she’s priceless.
Getting further off topic than usual, I propose we observe International Talk Like A Pirate Day on September 19 (yes, I know, I’m early. But I’ll remind you guys as the date approaches.)
You think I’m kidding, right? Avast, and look at this, mateys:
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
Har!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/ ?
We’ve bin observin’ that scuttlebutt at work for years – drives the land-lubbers insane.
People come past me bridge and ask “Mr. Gerbil, why are you having a small cutlass on yer in tray?” and I tell ‘em “I’m the Admiral of this here team of swarthy IT sailors, and we be ready to cut a user from gizzards to gutlins if they be complaining they can’t see the World Cup, because we’ve keelhauled the firewalls and they ain’t gonna serve that streaming media no more.”
Yarr.
I believe the PC Brigade have decreed that to maintain equality in the workplace the number of cutlasses must be balanced with a similar number of cutlads. You couldn’t make it up &c.
I’ve stopped bothering to take it off anymore.
My new favourite word. For this, many thanks.
Just a heads up, anyone who doesn’t like being happy and wants a reason to shoot themselves through the fucking eye, just head on over to the Guardian and read the comments on http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/jun/07/child-asylum-seekers-uk-afghanistan this mother fucker right here.
Seriously though, don’t follow the link unless you a) already lost your faith in basic human decency or b) fucking despise yourself.
@Kris
By coincidence I’ve just come from there. Thought I’d check in here to cheer myself up. Man alive.
My life has actually followed that pattern quite closely, just the other way round.