Thanks to Scarlet for this one. The BBC has asked “Should gay and lesbian asylum seekers be protected?”. I’m rather pleased to see this comment as it answers a question I’ve been asking for a long time:
If life is so much easier being gay, muslim, foreign or just plain diffrunt, why not start praying to Allah or rooting around in the knickers of your nearest same-sex partner and reap the rewards?
Finally, we’ve found someone who’s prepared to put their mouth in someone else’s trousers.
If you make an exception for Gay Asylum seekers you are creating a loophole that will be exploited. If I was trying to get into the UK I would do anything to help my case. If I thought saying I was gay would improve my chances I would. I would even have a homosexual relationship if that helped.
David
You know what? I think it probably will help. Go for it.
55 Responses to “Yeah, Go On Then”
Please don’t.
Not only this, but they’ll also be committing crimes to get into prison for free bumming and nintendos.
At MY expense.
Bumming gives you nintendos?
Something about turtles and Mario.
Own up, who did this on the “In my day, degrees were really hard” thread.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/haveyoursay/2010/07/is_competition_for_graduate_jo.html
Foreigners are welcome to exploit this gay loophole, I’m easy.
If Serena Williams ever has trouble getting into the country, she should give me a ring.
you mean to tell me that I have been putting out for free all these years and I should have been receiving a free nintendo?
oh and my hole is a square not a loop so just in case you forReners were getting funny ideas.
Bloody peg thieving forreners
I think Dave gets a bit moist at the thought of any loopholes being exploited.
Pretty soon, everybody in the UK is going to be gay.
We’ll become Fabulous Britain and have a europop national anthem.
I, for one, welcome our new homosexual overlords.
I think David is just shivering with delight that he’s finally managed to write:
He thought it. He wrote it. It felt gooood . Bless. I’d be happy for him, if he wasn’t such a raging xenophobe
You’ve all got it wrong, Dave isn’t saying that he’d have sex with a man to prove he was gay, he’s saying ‘I will toss you off if you let me into the country’.
Trust me Dave, I’ve had some experience with government officials. You’re going to have to go at least as far as the blow job.
Lends a whole new meaning to the phrase, “I got banged up, big-time.”
I wonder if bonkers, Indian, super-nerd and radical muslim cleric DR ZAKIR NAIK has considered this rear entry technique for over-turning his recent visa refusal.
“I am wery much vanting this up the bottom sex vhich is much much talked about by you peoples. Please give wisa now, Inshallah.”
Jason Overthink really explains the core of the problem.
Funny you should say that Jason, because David might be able to help.
did someone call?
Twelve-year-old grammar aside, Jason Overthink is on to something here. What a nightmare that test would be! Thank goodness the heterosexual test is so well established, and accurate too.
From the Mail – is the spelling deliberate?
[blockquote]
assylum
[/blockquote]
Clever girl.
only one way to find out…
I think that although David has a single paragraph, we should not consider it a self-contained unit of discourse. It is an answer to all of our broken society’s problems.
No David, it would not.
Fuck sake David.
Is it just me, or does it seem a bit ridiculous that people are even thinking of addressing the gay refugee “issue”, when in all likelihood your average refugee is seeking refuge from 1. starving to death and 2. being killed, not necessarily in that order? Were I a gay refugee, I think I might put those two items at the top of my agenda and worry about the gay part when I’m living somewhere safe.
Or am I preaching to the converted?
@Have Your Lurk – it may have escaped your attention, but the very real threat of “2. being killed” can be for no other reason than that they’re gay. In some countries, the homophobes have considerably more authority than Jeremy Clarkson’s followers have here.
Gentlemen, the economy is collapsing around us, this calls for drastic action.
Yeah…thanks David, but maybe we’ll…keep that idea as a back up plan, yeah?
Now, I must also inform you that a comet is headed straight for Earth. If we don’t stop it, somehow, we could all-
NOT THE TIME DAVID.
Oh, and
I haven’t read the rest of your post but going by your previous, yeah, it almost certainly is.
David is right, people facing torture and the slaughter of their loved ones can be SO devious. I, for one, refuse to be hoodwinked by their claims – truthful or otherwise. And what better way to not be tricked than to work out what *I* would do!
Antigone, Have your Lurk, and Ugly Newt… for fuck sake, have you not read the timeless work of David, Jason Overlord, and justanotherworkerbee, which details the in-depth, well researched analysis of the immigration crisis that has plagued our once idyllic, beautiful, British shores?
You tell ‘em David…
Jesus Christ David.
I’m a bit short of cash at the mo and was thinking of shooting a gay porn film to generate a bit of cash.
My problem is that I can’t afford to pay any of the actors and I haven’t a clue who might want to help out.
The mistake David seems to make here is thinking that, rather than escaping a life of brutal discimination and possible death by taking refuge wherever they can, these people actually want to leave their friends and families and specifically hop over to the UK, like it’s a fucking holiday hotspot for the homosexual. I think I detect jealousy, I think what he’s really trying to say is “I need to find a butch bloke who’ll take me on a round-the-world tour if I agree to be their bitch.”
He’s also halfway to creating an acronym for Gay Asylum Seekers, which works especially well in it’s original context.
“If you make an exception for GAS you are creating a loophole that will be exploited.”
Not so good with English though.
I think David Cameron is a bit of a bender on the side and he is trying to get as many gays into the country as he can so that the Tories will get the gay vote at the next election, overtaking the bone idle/public sector vote Browns successor will get.
Why would you shoot a gay porn film? What’s it ever done to you?
And anyway, all you have to do is give the actors some lines and you’ll qualify for Arts Council grant aid. Everybody knows that arthouse movies are basically gay sex romps dressed up as drama.
At the risk of talking about the real story instead of these HYS turd purveyors, how laughable was the original appeal court ruling on this subject? It could almost have been written by your average HYSer. In case you missed it, it went somewhere along the lines of:
But surely, there is only a risk to the individual if they do anything inflamatory, like, you know, being gay, or going outside, and letting people see that you are, you know, gay. Surely they’d all be safe if they just, you know….. didn’t…
That would explain the pounding sensation that David’s been feeling in his arse of late.
Tasmania, as an Australian Island, is mainly populated by British descendants, would probably be a bit offended if you tried that.
I think you probably Tanzania, however, I think most of the things you can get imprisoned for in the UK you can also get imprisoned for in Tanzania.
I understand these things are quite hard to understand if you’re a backward racist fuckwitt, but please try to keep up.
Hold on a sec. A homosexual RELATIONSHIP? A full-on, commitment-style thing where you agree to meet regularly, not bang anyone else up the bunghole and eventually move in together and start up a marginalised artists’ collective? All that, just to get an entry visa?
Maybe what he actually meant was:
His position isn’t improving.
What’s to say a relationship can’t end 180 grunt-filled seconds after beginning?
Well, let’s see.
“Wow, I had a really great relationship last night. Met this guy down the pub, we went back to his place, it was all over in 180 grunt-filled seconds.”
“Hey, lads! Let’s go on the pull. I could really do with a good, hard relationship right now.”
Hmm…
Have Your Lurk
My dear, I am not sure a place such as this is so good for one so young.
That’s nothing. I can do it in 72 seconds.
180 seconds ?
What, cuddling too ???
Dr Ruth,
It all depends on how you define the word “young”.
Want to have a deeply meaningful relationship with me? I can go for 108 seconds longer than Blatherington Filkenthorpe. Not that we’re competing, or anything.
Ceannair! You’re back!
Do we think that David’s eagerness for a good hard relationship right up the shitter has earned him the honour of being dubbed an animal man-fanny? If so, I propose pustulant possum’s poop-chute or perhaps simply a chaffinch’s chocolate chuff.
Express headline today is ‘Now Asylum if you’re gay’. I like to think that ‘the Asylum’ is a hot new dance craze sweeping the gay clubs of London and the Express is simply trying to spread the word to all the homosexuals of the UK.
Ah, that would explain the Gay Asylum mentioned in David’s quoted post. A place you’re likely to dragged off to (probably by men in pink coats) in if you don’t stare blankly straight ahead while standing at the public urinal..
Arse. Redundant ‘in’ fail..
Can’t fault the conclusion.
La Spesh,
Great to have you back. You have been missed.
I don’t think you have to be gay to claim asylum. Do you know what, I think that they could make it up, and have.
What do I know?
The commenters at the Telegraph are having fun with this: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/guywalters/100046440/can-iranian-mullet-wearers-be-granted-asylum/
where by “having fun” I mean “projectile-vomiting bile”.
Whilst a lot of these posts made me wee myself a bit with mirth, I do think that the typical pattern has emerged – people mocking prejudice who then end up sounding prejudiced/perpetuating prejudice themselves. Graphic/vulgar terms for anal sex are not the same thing as homosexuality, or even gay sex/love-making – this representation/association is typically homophobic. Suggesting someone is gay to be insulting is homophobic. When the man being targeted is not listening, and the insults continue in a long, mindless string without much further thought or criticism or suggestion, then you are simply practising/perpetuating homophobia. I find it hilarious that he would find them insulting, but one joke would have been enought. Also, I don’t know why homosexuality has been discussed as male homosexuality. Or am I missing the point of the thread: bum jokes are funny, especially when tied in with some self-righteous venom towards a homophobic, bigotted, easy-to-target idiot. Far more important than dealing with the widespread, deep-rooted prejudice that allows our asylum system to fail people in need so miserably.
Just wondering, but would you welcome ‘our new homosexual overlords’ if one of them happened to be me? I’ve got the ermine, buckled shoes and everything.
We’d have to have some changes though – the national anthem would be “Male Stripper” (does anyone else remember the early 80s?) and we’d have an equivalent 4th of July celebration to the US, but our’s would be “A Bit Gay Day”, so people like David would feel more comfortable being a bit adventurous
Oh nearly forgot – just to get you in the mood, my photos from Pride last Saturday
http://picasaweb.google.com/peteste/PrideJuly2010#
I touch children.