Permanently Bewildered and Plain Weird and Shit Sherlocks08 Jul 2010 10:20 am
By Alex

Thanks to Rónán. On that Bloody Sunday report a while back. Ever think it’s crazy how judges/PC liberals decide on goodies and baddies based on who does good things and who does bad things, rather than who is a lion with a plucky sidekick and who has bumbling henchmen and a skull for a face? Well you’re not alone.

lochraven wrote:
Isn’t it funny how people’s sense of right and wrong changes with each circumstance, and who’s doing what to whom? I think this whole incident should be called a draw. No winners, and no losers. Stop looking for a villain, it’ll get you nowhere.

It’s funnier how people’s sense of flat-head and cross-head depends on what screw they’re screwing into what. Where’s the consistency, eh?

69 Responses to “14-0 England More Like”

  1. on 08 Jul 2010 at 10:28 am BroomesWurn

    By the power of Grayskull, I declare this incident a draw.

  2. on 08 Jul 2010 at 10:51 am Jones

    I think Lochraven is protesting a bit too much.

  3. on 08 Jul 2010 at 11:32 am Theodore

    Isn’t it funny how you can have a concise idea of what you want to express but when you commit those thoughts into typed words you can make yourself look like an utter twat?

  4. on 08 Jul 2010 at 11:37 am Sir Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon

    By this logic the whole of the Afghanistan conflict (18xx-2xxx) is going to have to be referred to the Football Pools for a rained off decision.

  5. on 08 Jul 2010 at 11:38 am Sir Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon

    *rain postponed.. dur

  6. on 08 Jul 2010 at 11:41 am Theodore

    I’m still confused about Tianenmen Square. Who were the bad guys?

  7. on 08 Jul 2010 at 11:48 am Sir Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon

    @Theodore
    The Chinese?

  8. on 08 Jul 2010 at 11:51 am Have Your Lurk

    I’ve just realised. Could it be that there are no truly bad, or truly good, people in the world? That we all have the potential to do bad, good, and – shock! bad and good?

  9. on 08 Jul 2010 at 11:51 am Spain not germany

    Why is good taxpayer’s money (yours and mineQ!!) wasted on “inquiries” when we could just consult PAUL the ‘psychic’ octopus and get a definitive answer once and for all!!!

  10. on 08 Jul 2010 at 11:54 am Have Your Lurk

    David weighs in.

    I would even have a homosexual relationship if that helped.

    David, we’ve been down this road before…

  11. on 08 Jul 2010 at 12:15 pm Sheepless

    Isn’t it funny how people’s sense of light and dark changes with the time of day? It would be better if we just agreed that it’s always twilight.

  12. on 08 Jul 2010 at 12:21 pm Bawmswyne

    Last night’s News at 10? Looked like a draw to me. A homosexual relationship? Let’s call it a draw. Breakfast at McDonalds? Undeniably a draw.

  13. on 08 Jul 2010 at 12:29 pm eleanora

    Pan-fried otter bollocks? Clearly a draw.

  14. on 08 Jul 2010 at 12:50 pm Dean Cramvoid

    A wooden box with a handle on the front that slides into and out of a larger wooden box?

  15. on 08 Jul 2010 at 12:50 pm The Football Pools

    Have Your Lurk? Nul points‎

  16. on 08 Jul 2010 at 12:55 pm Nackstre

    If those chaps hadn’t ‘drawn’ their weapons this whole mishap wouldn’t have occurred. That Lochravin’ should think twice before calling for more ‘draws’.

  17. on 08 Jul 2010 at 12:58 pm The Football Pools

    hmm. “Let him have it”

  18. on 08 Jul 2010 at 1:03 pm random punter

    @Dean Cramvoid

    That would be a drawer you semi-literate knob.

  19. on 08 Jul 2010 at 1:05 pm Edwin

    So, the Nazis, were they the bad guys, or have we just let their frightening atrocities cloud our judgement?

  20. on 08 Jul 2010 at 1:14 pm Andy

    If those chaps hadn’t ‘drawn’ their weapons this whole mishap wouldn’t have occurred.

    Nackstre, are you sure you’re putting your quote marks in the right place? David only drew his ‘weapon’ in order to help…

  21. on 08 Jul 2010 at 1:19 pm fucko the clown

    yeah everyone knows draw is what tony hart did, in between touching up children whilst mincing in the gallery with his penis shaped friend, morph

  22. on 08 Jul 2010 at 1:27 pm Nackstre

    @Edwin
    It’s not as simple as that. It changes with each circumstance.

  23. on 08 Jul 2010 at 1:35 pm Sheepless

    So, the Nazis, were they the bad guys, or have we just let their frightening atrocities cloud our judgement?

    Their caps had skulls on them. Big clue right there.

  24. on 08 Jul 2010 at 1:57 pm SURPRISE BUM!

    Oh good, Fucko’s back.

  25. on 08 Jul 2010 at 2:00 pm Dean Cramvoid

    @Random Punter

    That would be “you semi-literate nob”, yeah?

  26. on 08 Jul 2010 at 2:04 pm FIFA

    It’ll be decided on penalties.

  27. on 08 Jul 2010 at 2:17 pm Ceannair

    Nah, some French twat will cheat and get the win.

    Bitter about the World Cup ? Nah.

  28. on 08 Jul 2010 at 2:21 pm Kris

    lochraven ain’t the only one baffled by the basic notion of morality; behold Chris from the HYS on gay forrins being given golden palaces for free by the government.

    Chris wrote:

    I’m all for gay rights, and think they should have rights, with the same standards as anyone who is straight.

    Well that’s a sensible, if not exactly succintly put, opinion there Chris.

    Like I said, they should be treated the ‘same’ as anybody else, so if they will be persecuted in their own country, so be it.

    Right. So I think women should have the same rights as men, and be treated with the same standards. So if I see a woman being beaten to death, I simply walk on, whistling. Isn’t logic fun?

  29. on 08 Jul 2010 at 2:33 pm Kris

    Couple more gems of wisdom. (I can’t think of anything to add to the original post, it’s pretty much perfect as it is)

    Gbuck2010 wrote:

    I have spent some of my working life in countries where Islam is the influencing religion – Egypt, Kuwait and Pakistan. As an openly, but discrete, practising gay man, I have had wonderful experiences in these countries – far better than the UK. Based upon my experiences of being gay in such countries I find it hard to believe the Iranian man we have given asylum to could not lead a satisfying ‘gay’ life in Iran.

    Or to put it another way; ‘I’ve been to countries with ragheads everywhere, so I know more than anyone about Iran’.

    Al wrote:

    And anyone who’s scared of the dark should be allowed in as well?

    Either Al thinks the sun is something that doesn’t happen in Muslim countries and is genuinely worried about peope living in fear, or it’s a typo and he meant ‘darkies’.

  30. on 08 Jul 2010 at 2:47 pm Have Your Lurk

    As an openly, but discrete, practising gay man,

    As opposed to a closet, continuous, lapsed gay man. Something doesn’t add up.

  31. on 08 Jul 2010 at 2:53 pm Have Your Lurk

    Kris,

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you saw a MAN being beaten to death, then you’d walk on, whistling nonchalantly, but if you saw a WOMAN being beaten to death, you’d do something about it.

    You couldn’t make it up.

  32. on 08 Jul 2010 at 2:56 pm RT

    Like I said, they should be treated the ’same’ as anybody else, so if they will be persecuted in their own country, so be it.

    Of course, the specific reason that people would flee persecution based on their sexuality is precisely because they are not treated the “same” as everyone else – they fear persecution, specifically because they are a member of a “particular social group”, bringing them under the ambit of the 1951 Convention…

    Lalalalala

  33. on 08 Jul 2010 at 3:31 pm random punter

    @Dean Spacefiller

    That would be “you semi-literate nob”, yeah?

    Well kno, actually.

    However, I’m off on my jollies shortly, so we’ll have to call it a draw.

  34. on 08 Jul 2010 at 4:21 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    Many moons ago, I was applying for promotion.

    “So, Mr. Gerbil, how would you solve the Northern Ireland Problem?”

    “Well, if I could, I wouldn’t be applying for a job as a Systems Analyst.”

    Didn’t get it, either.

  35. on 08 Jul 2010 at 4:30 pm Geeky Monkey

    “Stop looking for a villain, it’ll get you nowhere.”

    Hmm, I reckon I’ve worked out Raoul Moat’s HYS username.

  36. on 08 Jul 2010 at 5:34 pm evilherbivore

    Based upon my experiences of being gay in such countries I find it hard to believe the Iranian man we have given asylum to could not lead a satisfying ‘gay’ life in Iran.

    Based on my experiences of being on holiday in some countries, I cant understand why the people need to work so hard and don’t seem to have much money. I managed to spend all my time by the pool, why couldn’t they?

  37. on 08 Jul 2010 at 5:36 pm Ugly Newt

    Correct me if I’m wrong,

    You’re wrong. Men don’t tend to be harassed/abused/attacked just for being male in public.

  38. on 08 Jul 2010 at 5:46 pm Tim nice but dim

    So, the Nazis, were they the bad guys, or have we just let their frightening atrocities cloud our judgement?

    In history, the bad guys are always the losers, the winners are the good guys by default. If Hitler had won the war, we would all be going around shouting “sieg heil” at each other, and debating how evil Churchill was.
    The working man would most likely be much better paid and Great Britain may well be annex of Germany, but the standard of living would be much higher than it is now in the republic of Pakistan/Jamaica.

  39. on 08 Jul 2010 at 5:47 pm Tim nice but dim

    bloody Blockquotes

  40. on 08 Jul 2010 at 6:07 pm Felix Castor

    I entirely base my decisions regarding who is a goodie and who is a baddie on what I think Serena Williams would want me to think.

    As it is basically impossible to draw a tennis match I am saying Bloody Sunday was a straight sets win for the British Army. However, they cheated by not using tennis rackets so the plucky Northern Irish protesters can through to the next round where they will face Roger Federer.

    Hope they twat him.

  41. on 08 Jul 2010 at 6:21 pm tw@basket.com

    bloody Blockquotes

    Trust me, the blockquotes are the least of your problems. When people take the piss out of you it is not because you messed up the blockquotes.

    You still need to work on finding some nice to counterbalance that that oversupply of dim you have.

    In the meantime, I would be vaguely interested to know who you imagine is president of this Republic of Jamaica you just invented?

  42. on 08 Jul 2010 at 6:23 pm Have Your Lurk

    @Ugly Newt

    Yes, I know, but what I meant was, in Kris’s post he said that if he saw someone being beaten to death he’d walk on, whistling nonchalantly. Look, forget it, all right? I’m sure he wouldn’t do that, and I’m not so fucked up with OCD that I actually want to take it further. Sandra Bullock’s on TV tonight.

  43. on 08 Jul 2010 at 6:42 pm Tim nice but dim

    @ tw@tbasket.com

    I take it you do not agree with my take on history then?
    You diss Hitlers concentration camps whilst paying taxes to fund our own ( Guatanamo bay and Gaza) to name but two.
    We commited genocide in Dresden burning German women and children alive by the thousand, we now just pick on arabs in Iraq and Afganistan, although we may diversify to Korea if the agenda goes to plan.
    We let our elderly either starve or freeze to death in winter, deny cancer patients drugs, yet MP’s fill their baskets with homes, second homes, luxury goods from John Lewis like some TV gameshow contestants.
    We deny funds to healthcare, education and decent policing whilst we all work harder and harder for lower levels of disposable income.
    YES, we really are the good guys. Still, lets ignore the rest of the world and take the piss out of those muppets on HYS and the Mail, that we we can pretend we are really clever and smug and not part of the mess this world is in.

  44. on 08 Jul 2010 at 6:57 pm Ziggy Marley

    President of the Republic of Jamaica, well it would have to be me dad, Bob, see in my timeline he is very much alive. In this timeline he managed to avoid being tackled by Danny Baker and more importantly he wore some footy boots.

  45. on 08 Jul 2010 at 7:01 pm jbd

    who let all the fun go,its got all serious now.I don’t come to SYB for serious debate.I come here to pretend to be really clever and smug and ignore all the problems of the world by taking the piss out of muppets on HYS and the Mail.THIS IS A BLOODY OUTRAGE!!!!

  46. on 08 Jul 2010 at 7:02 pm Mim

    I think my brain just short-circuited because I am cackling at the thought of anyone “dissing” Nazi concentration camps.

  47. on 08 Jul 2010 at 7:13 pm Out of the Woodwork

    I think my brain just short-circuited because I am cackling at the thought of anyone “dissing” Nazi concentration camps

    Hey Hitler those concentration camps iz well rubbish.

  48. on 08 Jul 2010 at 7:14 pm Out of the Woodwork

    sad face

  49. on 08 Jul 2010 at 7:24 pm Have Your Lurk

    Tim nice but dim, you’re bRanes have just been SpOken. Take it from me, lad, people come here to escape, not to solve the world’s problems. Or even think about them, for that matter.

    Oh, and Gaza isn’t a concentration camp. And as bad as the world is today, I’d take it like a shot over what Mr. Hitler had in mind.

  50. on 08 Jul 2010 at 7:44 pm Kris

    @Tim

    You’re right. Nelson et al, it’s time you stopped pissing our time away and realised there is some fucking important and like, totally unfair shit happening out there. Only by whinging about it on the internet instead of having any kind of mild fun at all can you be as much of a fucking hero as Tim.

    @Lurk

    Actually, the point I was making was…oh nevermind.

  51. on 08 Jul 2010 at 8:06 pm tw@basket.com

    I take it you do not agree with my take on history then?

    Tim, I hate to break this to you, but you don’t have a “take on history”. You have a tattered copy of Mein Kampf with most of the pages stuck together.

  52. on 08 Jul 2010 at 8:29 pm Ugeine

    I agree with lochraven. The families of the deceased are only pissed off because they happened to be the ones that were shot in the back as they’re running away unarmed.

    We shouldn’t be so quick to demonise people who shoot unarmed people in the back, which is why it would me nice to see Mr. Cameron apologise to this poor Raoul Moat guy for all the negative attention he’s been receiving lately.

    Stop looking for a villain guys, it’ll get you nowhere.

  53. on 08 Jul 2010 at 8:38 pm Ugeine

    His views on the release of the Lockerbie bomber are interesting:

    The US did not interfere with the decision to release Megrahi; it did strongly object and so did the families of those 180 American men, women, and children.

    Seriously, stop looking for a villain. It’ll get you nowhere. I’m calling the whole Lockerbie situation a drawer, myself.

    Ironically enough, it seems his sense of right and wrong changes with each circumstance, and depending on who’s doing what to whom.

  54. on 08 Jul 2010 at 10:03 pm Bugrat

    That William Burroughs cut-up thing is loads of fun:

    I take it you piss on history then?

    You diss drugs, yet do not agree with my concentration camps whilst paying taxes to fund goods, lets ignore the rest of our own Guantanamo guys and Gaza. We commited genocide to name but two in Dresden, and children alive by the thousand, we now just pick cancer patients, although we may, I take, diversify to elderly MP’s if the agenda goes to plan.

    We let our elderly either starve or freeze to death in baskets, deny drugs, yet MP’s fill their concentration with homes, second homes, luxury goods from Gaza like some TV gameshow guys. We deny funds on arabs in Iraq and Afganistan health care, education and decent burning German women policing whilst we all work harder and harder for lower levels of good baskets.

    YES, we really are the baskets with homes. We let our levels either starve or freeze and take the piss out children of those muppets on HYS and the Mail, that we we can pretend we are really clever and elderly and not part of the Korea this world is in.

  55. on 08 Jul 2010 at 10:32 pm confused

    I dont get it.

  56. on 08 Jul 2010 at 10:44 pm Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi

    I’m calling the whole Lockerbie situation a drawer, myself.
    A Lockerbiel drawer no less.

    Mine’s the one with the big epaulettes.

  57. on 08 Jul 2010 at 10:44 pm Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi

    !!?*! Where did my blockquotes go?

  58. on 09 Jul 2010 at 1:33 am Bugrat

    I dont get it.

    It’s mostly about Tim nice but dim’s basket of shite.

    @Muammar Abu Minyar al-Lurk; get some therapy.

  59. on 09 Jul 2010 at 2:09 am TrumpsCombOver

    “yet MP’s fill their baskets with homes”

    Jesus titty-fucking christ do I miss Dale Wintons Supermarket Sweep.

  60. on 09 Jul 2010 at 7:16 am ally

    Please get rid of Tim (not) Nice but Dim.

    I don’t come here to read Nazi apologies.

    I go to Naziapologies.com for that.

    Tim is a founder member.

  61. on 09 Jul 2010 at 8:24 am Enid Wibble

    yeah everyone knows draw is what tony hart did, in between touching up children whilst mincing in the gallery with his penis shaped friend, morph

    Never mind Tim and his arsedribble. I want to see Fucko’s penis.

  62. on 09 Jul 2010 at 8:34 am Felix Castor

    @tim nice but dim

    Look at this and then tell me you still love Hitler:

    http://sports.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/serena-williams-ebony.jpg

  63. on 09 Jul 2010 at 9:06 am Have Your Lurk

    Well, Tim, you seem to have achieved the impossible: finally there’s something that all of SYB agree on.

  64. on 09 Jul 2010 at 9:29 am Oaf

    I like pie.

  65. on 09 Jul 2010 at 9:34 am pigfrottage

    Something about can we make it funny now la spesh and the clown are back.

    Less Tim (tongue in cheek or not), more Nelson and mocking of teh idiots please…

    Any mor e of this and I’m sure we’ll be back to bumming foxes etc…

  66. on 09 Jul 2010 at 10:02 am Lurker in a Burkha

    lochraven wrote:
    Isn’t it funny how people’s sense of right and wrong changes with each circumstance, and who’s doing what to whom? I think this whole incident should be called a draw. No winners, and no losers. Stop looking for a villain, it’ll get you nowhere.

    A draw?! Surely it should go to a sudden death penalty shoot out?

    Can someone fetch me my burkha? Ta.

  67. on 09 Jul 2010 at 11:28 am I think the heat weapon will work from a massive distance

    barble’barble blah to blah warble blah baa blarb’blarb blahdy barble blah blah blah warble warble baa blahdy blah baa blahdy. blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blarb baa.

  68. on 09 Jul 2010 at 11:36 am Ed aka Voltaire

    Gott in himmel.

  69. on 10 Jul 2010 at 4:56 pm Oh what, who is to blame for this not tim?

    blah