Tagnut of the day award on 22nd July went to gabriel100 for his standout performance on the Graun’s Ian Tomlinson article.
I’d like to count the ways gabriel100 makes everyone think he’s a bucket of mung, but it’s much easier to just post a couple of his comments and call him a twat.
Completely the correct decision.
It was wrong of the officer to push him, but really it was his lifestyle which caused his death, not a mere innocuous fall (which even a frail pensioner would have gotten up from).
Tomlison completely brought it upon himself. A group of stressed, frightened and pent-up Police Officers are trying to clear a street. Tomlinson is being needless awkward, taking baby steps, refusing to move along etc. Thus, someone lost his temper and gave him a little shove. Its all there in the video – no more to it than that.
I have zero respect for people who wrongly demonise the Police, and even less for those who like to act up to antagonise the Police, then wail like a pathetic child when they get what is coming to them.
So, the correct decision is not to prosecute and I am equally delighted for the officer as I was for Sgt Delroy Smellie, (another cop whom that digusting rabble of rioters that day had unfairly complained about – they didn’t like him hitting back after he was assaulted, it seems).
gabriel100
They had Tomlinson bang to rights, and no mistake. Not only was he on the chubby side and sold newspapers for a living – common sense tells you that’s a diet of Micro Chips and Fray Bentos – but he was walking away from the police, with his hands in his pockets! That’s antagonising behaviour if you ask me. What else do you call not running for your fucking life when you’ve got a bunch of titheads with the mist bearing down on you? Didn’t Tomlinson know that coppers and dogs work on fear? And Pedigree Chum?
gabriel100, though – this crusty thong string isn’t done. Clearly not satisfied with the general thrust of public opinion in the Guardian – that he’s a twat – he goes on to prove that not only is comment free, but it’s also really shit and depressing.
I notice that the posters who disagreed with my analysis above chose to abuse my character in response, rather than take issue with my version of events (simply a commentry of the Guardian’s own video).
I will take that as a grudging acceptance that I am right on the matter.
Some of the idiocy on this thread beggers belief. Some fool actually criticised the Police for being scared and excitable after a day of being pelted with missiles and chemicals by an army of aggressive scum, who were intent on violence from the word go.
Many other countries would have dealt with that riot by breaking out the tanks and machine guns, and yet the feeble minded contributors here bleat about kettling and a wee push in the back.
Imagine you went down the shops after work today, and someone was in your face, not allowing you to move freely, ignoring requests to let you past etc – what would you do? You might eventually lose your temper and give the person a shove. Its not right, but understandable. And all the more understandable after having fought a medieval type battle against the far left mob polluting the streets and causing violence that day,
The British Police are the best in the world. Go live in Burma or something, see how you like their Police – you would come crawling back singing the praises of our bobbies.
gabriel100
Yeah, if you hate the British police so much, why don’t you fuck off and live somewhere much worse – for example, somewhere where the police might clobber you from behind after they catch you walking down the street the wrong way? And then try living somewhere they lie about what happened until a hedge fund manager with a camera phone shows them up for the cunts they always have been. And then when you’re done living there, why don’t you try living somewhere it’s easier to get to the shops.
Honestly, we used to be a nation of shopkeepers. Now you can’t even get a packet of Rich Tea without being harrassed on the high street by a false analogy.
Wow, and just let me say that I’m glad I got through this without resorting to abusing gabriel100‘s character! It’d be a terrible world where I didn’t spend my time arguing the toss with a half-blind, sociopathic semen stain with the social awareness of a sackful of monkey abortions.
106 Responses to “Don’t Walk”
“I notice that the posters who disagreed with my analysis above chose to abuse my character in response…I will take that as a grudging acceptance that I am right on the matter.”
What a bag of fannies
I’ve always said those violent xbox games need to be banned.
Oh my god. The scales have fallen from my eyes.
I’ve always taken this liberal stance on these matters, but Gabriel has forced me to see that sometimes violence is the only answer. I’m thinking we form an army of aggressive scum and go looking for him. Who’s with me?
Some cretinous bootlick in the comments at Jack Of Kent’s made the genuinely HYS-worthy comment that Tomlinson “was in the wrong place at the wrong time”.
This is a great defence. Just imagine:
SCENE: A courtroom.
Beak: “J. Ripper, you have heard the list of crimes that you stand here accused of. Do you have anything to say in your defence?”
J. Ripper: “Yes your honour. They were all in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Beak: “Fair enough. Case dismissed.”
J.Ripper: “Great, I’m just off to tweet something about an airport.”
Beak: “I wouldn’t if I were you…”
J. Ripper:”It’s in the wrong place at the wrong time?”
Beak: “Oh go on then.”
*Cue gag reflex*
Or to put it another way; “I know you are, you said you are, but what am iiii?”
Pompous cunt.
Let us form a vengeful mob of Eds, and exact justice.
Many other countries would have dealt with that riot by breaking out the tanks and machine guns
He came. He came furiously while writing this. It’s far too fucking obvious.
I will take that as a grudging acceptance that I am right on the matter.
Well, all wise men were laughed at sometimes, from Plato to Nietzsche. But being booed en masse shouldn’t have informed the cretin that he might, maybe I say, be wrong?
What a cunt.
I’m with the other Eds.
I feel like his comments have physically violated me, and I want revenge.
I’d like to give Gabriel a “gentle” punch in his throat.
A Scottish Catholic son of a policeman who enthusiastically contributes to any discussion of gender politics.
i.e., peedos=gays
i.e., prison rape is a myth
His pronouncements on religion are about as well-informed, the pompous little tigerstreaky cretin.
This for the win, from a long list of things he doesn’t like about weddings.
Hmmmm.
This chap does not see the irony of his “Imagine you went down the shops after work today, and someone was in your face, not allowing you to move freely” scenario?
I actually do live in Burma and I still think British cops are aresholes.
And that Gabe’s an utter cunt.
I’m with the other Eds.
To paraphrase gabriel100
He drank and smoked so he deserved to be belted to the ground for no reason by a cop. Obviously he was a real threat to the policeman in riot gear, walking along with his hands in his pockets. So what if he died as a result. Police are great. In fact let’s arm them so they can shoot innocent bystanders too, and make all petty crims have to carry a gun or otherwise they will be overmatched. Our police are fab because they didn’t mow down the lawful protesters and bystanders with machine gun fire like they do in foreign places. He had it coming to him, can’t you see?
Ah you can’t. Well it proves I’m right. So there. Nernernerner.
Since I’ve successfully formed a mindless, howling, vengeful mob of Eds, what say we add TimDim to the target list?
TimDim, I wonder why you read this website. I’m guessing you don’t agree with sentiments generally expressed. I wonder whether it amuses you (which is the point of the site). Your own comments are dull, unpleasant and unfunny, and universally disliked, so you aren’t getting any approval out of it. Are you using this site as a sort of Daily Fail substitute, to angry you up and give you a metaphorical rubber sex doll so you can still feel something, anything, to know you’re (technically) still alive?
Please, help us out here. We want to know.
“Imagine you went down the shops after work today, and someone was in your face, not allowing you to move freely, ignoring requests to let you past etc…”
You might even put your hands in your pockets and walk ever so slowly away from them, like Ian Tomlinson did…
I don’t.
Y’see, in the Archangel Gabriel’s world, innocent people have nothing to fear. Which is not only wrong, it’s wrong with Morris Minor Dancers’ bells on. Just the other day I read something that brought a Wry Smile:
“Not only does history repeat itself, it often shouts louder the second time round.”
To digress a bit, has anyone else encountered weapons-grade arsebag Feel_Bad_Factor? He’s as mad as hell and it’s all you wummin’s fault!
This one made me cry a wee bit:
@ Guardianistani
I reckon that there chappie is a troll.
Either that or I’d like to shake his Dad by the hand for the foresight of seeing what a piece of mouldy grouting his son would turn into.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHG2LJGfEdw&feature=related
Luxury.
I don’t. Care to enlighten me?
I would like to apologise to Feel_Bad_factor and everyone else here, not only am I a woman, but I also work in the public sector.
I shall report to Feel_Bad immediately for whatever punishment he deems suitable for me. I’ve no doubt it will involve him sticking his cock up my arse, but on the bright side I would doubt he has much of a cock. Nevermind, I’ll just distract myself by thinking of shiny things and how womenkind can take over the world one public sector job at a time.
@Fox Bummer
It’s either a) an constant lesbian orgy where the women bathe in champagne while their male slaves attend to their every whim or b) a lot of shit, low-paid work that men wouldn’t do.
Hint: One of these scenarios exists only in Feel_Bad_Factor’s imagination.
@Mal
I’ve worked in the civil service for over 30 years – never been invited to an orgy of any sorts, never mind one of the constant lesbian ones.
It’ll be the average sized penis that’s to blame, I bet.
Hence the phrase ‘hung like a gerbil’.
Well he’ll say it’s average-sized. But his lip will be wobbling, and tears will be filling his eyes.
Sorry, what were we talking about?
Nurses wiping old people’s bottoms, mainly.
Dick size and bumming, I think.
“I will take that as a grudging acceptance that I am right on the matter.”
This fellow needs a big punch on the cock.
I’m a shitmuncher.
Also, fuck pre-emptive beatings (insert humorous reference to American foreign policy here), what is needed is a pre-emptive rape conviction for dear Feel_Bad_Factor.
Now if you’ll excuse me, all this talk of gerbil willies, punishment by arse fucking and wiping elderly bottoms is likely to get a single gent a bit hot under the collar. I’m going to take a brisk walk round the local park. In a trenchcoat.
Feel_bad_factor’s comments made me do a little bit of wee.
(aside) I fucking love underscores… They’re practically zen.
Practically zen? Practically impossible to reproduce on my keyboard you mean, and the situation is even worse on my phone. Fuck underscores – I hate them!
Calm down! Here’s some free ones – you can just copy and paste them, let me know if you need more:
___________________________________________
I just thought I’d chip in with another infuriating example of why gabriel100 is a massive chozzler.
I don’t think I’ve encountered such a longwinded, self-important cockmuncher, but I’m pretty sure that we’ll be seeing more of him.
That’ll be “triple checked”, then. Unless he means he checked 6 times.
oi! Get your own army!
I’m amazed that he’s actually considering allowing “them” to buy shoes… it’s the ethics of the workhouse gone mad!
(p.s. no one tell him about the Northern Territory “intervention” in Australia… he probably wouldn’t stop coming)
He may not present himself very well but Gabe’s not necessarily wrong. Ian Tomlinson as portrayed in the media is not necessarily Ian Tomlinson as he actually was. There are a lot of stories around about the full events that day and there should be a full enquiry to determine what went on to settle this once and for all.
I’d go into this further but you might all hate me and a bunch of people hating me on the Internet would just destroy me.
Twat….. it was a neon light.
Unfortunately they have all joined together. Can you post a saw or a Stanley knife made out of ASCII characters?
We are currently at Blah Filter Def-Con-Two, people.
I like the idea of them constant lesbians
Speaking of “constant lesbians”…
Whenever I read of people who are “sexually active” (e.g. “people who are sexually active are at risk of blah blah blah”), it makes me think of someone who’s permanently aroused. Which would be funny if they were, for example, at a job interview.
You’re all horrible.
I’m going – it’s the one with the “Hung Like A Gerbil” on the back. No, I can’t see it, my eyes are all blurry.
I used to work for the Benefits Agency and sat next to a lesbian.
Do I win anything ??
Actually, her and her partner had a pet gerbil.
I didn’t ask.
Ceannair,
If you didn’t ask, then how did you know that she* and her partner had a pet gerbil to begin with? It’s not really the kind of thing that fits spontaneously into workplace banter. “Oh God, I’m so fucking hungover this morning. And what shit weather, it’s been pissing down all week. It’s really depressing my and my partner’s pet gerbil, I can tell you.”
* Fixed it for you.
On re-reading this, I’ve realised that his dad took a break every couple of hours from his job to go home and beat his children. I wonder if he had to punch his timecard?
@Oaf (and with respect to HYL / Faux Bummer’s pleas for a blahing), sorry for the delay, here goes (nothing):
___
Well that was a spectacular failure…. next time I’ll send a cake with a file in it.
I would rather have a file with a cake in it.
blah barble blah twat
Shit.
Christ on a bike, I’ve always read these fucktard comments in isolation, and never considered the awful fact that these people communicate with each other. Which is worse, it’s like the difference between shit and shite.
From the rape discussion, first we have wonderfully perverted Slave to the System – I am not a number , who I hope for humanity’s sake is a parody:
Just brilliant. Truly mind-numbing. And then, our good friend Feel_Bad_Factor steps in and replies:
I really like how the first paragraph in this is actually not a bad response (for a twat). And then the second paragraph kicks in and oh yes, here we go…
So, Feel_Bad_Factor was presented with an actual, real-life rape fantasy and didn’t go for it? Get up the yard, he’s having a laugh.
If you appply for a job for the public sector, heres a useful little tip to help you suceed, on the last page of the application form, where you tick a box, ie White, Afro carribeon, asian etc, DO NOT tick white male, you will go straight in the reject bin. Tick the Somalian, asylum seeking lesbian box and bingo, a 150K per year, five a day diversity officers job is yours for the taking.
Upstairs for thinking, down there for dancing, you know it makes sense!
Too many PPP’s in apply, damn!
I’m at work here in the public sector with orgies every lunchtime, with whips and chains and Nutella, because I have a massive cock and I’m forrin. I’m stealing your job and I’m stealing your wife. She says that it’s nice to feel something for once. So does your mum, she loves bumming foxes with a massive strapon at the same time you know.
And I have a Ferrari made entirely of bling as a company car.
Don’t know what all these white males are complaining about. Maybe if they weren’t tiny-dicked and didn’t spend all their time raping peas they’d have it too.
I love the assumption that because he talks about having a family it’s assumed that he has a wife. The family he refers to could be his parents, siblings etc.
Hang on what am I doing? It’s HYS of course they make unfounded assumptions. Sorry I’ll go back into my corner.
…Borat, is that you?
It’s a very serious condition and I’ll thank you not to laugh at my permanent, sizeable, throbbing hard-on. It’s more embarrassing at bus stops, really.
(*I’d like to see this on the side of a builder’s van. Down the road there’s one that says ‘Get Laid by Mick and Allen’. Funny, it is.)
Cunt.
On the plus side, you do always have somewhere to hang your hat.
Appptly said.
Again, you see your own minor errors but fail to notice the bigger picture; that you just shat your pants in public (again).
We really wouldn’t mind the odd typo if you were in any way amusing but, as it stands, I feel obliged to point out that you do not use apostrophes for plurals.
Ugh. Now my brain is in pedant mode I realise that I should have said “One does not use apostrophes for plurals” or “You should not use apostrophes for plurals”.
As I have it above, I am contradicting reality. Dim Tim does use apostrophes for plurals.
Ho hum.
Anybody want to buy a basket?
I’m a browneye’s browneye.
You were never in detention. In fact you were encouraged fuck off several times and never took the hint.
Consider yourself expelled and transferred to the school for kids with special needs.
TimDim,
The best way to ensure you never use apostrophes for plurals is for you to never post here again. Please never post here again.
I’m the turd in your coffee.
Don’t bloody remind me. There’s loads of advice you can read about how to conduct yourself in job interviews, but they never tell you the important stuff like “don’t get your cock out”. Bastards.
At least Raoul Moat was an actual criminal. Whoever shot him should get some sort of award.
I thought he shot himself
Willy Banjo!
In the vein of the 1980s graffito formula “I thought XXX was a YYY until I discovered Smirnoff”, well, “I thought Have Your Lurk (that’s me) was the most-ridiculed and generally destested poster on SYB until I discovered Tim nice but dim”.
I feel quite good about myself now.
Huge shitmunching dogballs.
I’m a cockhandle.
Hey, let’s not go nuts.
It is “could have“, you illiterate twerp.
Smells that bad does it?
In my day ties were woven, often incorporating a little motif, not made by Indian blacksmiths from girders, like Irn Bru.
I’ll get my quote..
I’m a bad case of syphilis.
Tim, you are embarrassing yourself.
I am quite enjoying the spectacle but you should have some self-respect and stop posting your ignorant crap here.
Grocers’ apostrophe, Tim…
Back on topic, if even the met chief thinks there should be a trial, I’m not sure who Gabriel100 thinks he’s supporting by saying there shouldn’t be.
Tim, the “I am…” thread was last week…
I’m just a cunt. I’ll have to be taught a lesson, soon.
Yes, well, the Met Chief would think that wouldn’t he. He’s a bloody public servant. Probably a secret woman and somalian who thought he was ordering a tiara.
No, Tim, that’s “Poles Law”. For Poe’s Law you have to demonstrate some wit, not to mention control of the apostrophe.
Also, I’m a dicksplash.
TimDim,
Oh! You’re from Fiji?
The trouble with incompetents is that not only are they incompetent, that same incompetence means that they don’t have the tools to recognise that they are incompetent. It also means that they are unable to recognise competence in others.
Tim NBD, I’m talking about you.
DimTim:
You forgot to start with “I’m not a racist, but”. Go back and try again.
In fact, forget the “try again” bit. Just go.
If stating FACTS makes me a racist, then so be it, but other than calling me a racist, you cannot argue with my facts. That is the logic of the asylum.
I’m going to leave this one, because it makes you look like a twat.
Dizzy
no, Tim. being an unfunny racist makes you a yeast-infected cunt.
HTH. HAND.
@Timmeh
The people that die in Afghanistan and Iraq don’t all look like you. And some of the people that carry out horrible crimes do look like you. It’s just that you remember the ones that support your argument. It’s a well-researched human bias.
If I could be arsed, I would make a list of straight white middle-aged men who had committed crimes, but I can’t be bothered because I know it would make no difference to you tiny world of fear. I hope you get over whatever it is that’s making you scared of people who aren’t you soon. I really do.
Tim
I notice that everytime there is a mugshot of the latest Mugger , rapist, gun and knife carrying gangsters, happy slappers on BBC news they “look different to me”.
That’s because Timmy, you didn’t commit those crimes, when there is a case of sheep molestation or weasel rape, you may get your mugshot published.
Just thought I would add my twopenneth from the corner.
Some of them may have more or less the same skin colour but I’ll bet that is where the the resemblance with Dim Tim ends. Perhaps he drives a blue Reliant Robin and watches Top Gear joyfully shouting whenever a blue sports car is featured “Oooh! That’s just like mine!”
Dim Tim does not strike me as military grade in any respect. If he really is square bashing material then he shouldn’t be over here speaking his brane at us when there are potatoes that need peeling in Afghanistan. I am sure that it would be a novel experience for him to actually make himself even slightly useful to somebody.
Of course, Tim is never going to make himself useful. He prefers to absorb all his imagined credit by being vaguely the same colour as some other people who have done stuff. Why get off your arse when you can congratulate yourself for being more or less the same shade of pink as Churchill?
Tim makes me miss Prof Craig. Sigh – happy daze
Timmykins,
So you look like Rifleman Edward Vakabua, as well as Private Scott Kennedy, as well as Major Paul Harding, as well as Lance Corporal Sarah Holmes?
You’re a black, white, moustachioed trained killer with tits?
And you look nothing like Neil Murray, Peter McDonagh, Mark Masters and Andy Martin – ugly white men?
Hang on, you sound suspiciously like a bit of a forrin to me…
I get the feeling Tim is fucking with us. I suggest never mentioning him ever again.
Just quickly though, and at the risk of starting off a circle jerking session;
Inspired.
Wow, this was a great read! By the time I’d got to the bottom of the comments I’d completely forgotten about Gabriel 100. Which is a blessing I hadn’t anticipated.
I’ve got a lunch box the size of Linford Christie – does that mean I can sprint, or does it mean I’m a fat bastard who eats a lot?
Inept troll is inept.
Knew I recognised that…
From the digital soup kitchen, Blah Your Branes. Under the name of John Adair, who as far as I can gather isn’t really John Adair, the cunt off HYS, but is some cunt pretending to be the cunt off HYS. Last seen on SYB before the First Great Blah Episode.
TNBD: A shitty parody of a shitty parody of a shit.
gabriel100, its not often wish harm on people but i’ll make an exception in your case.
What a feckless ignorant cunt you are.
I hope you get repeated violated by a giant shaved horses cock.