spEak You're bRanes

Miscellaneous Prats and Permanently Bewildered and Plain Weird29 Jul 2010 07:30 am

By Gainsbourg

emma2001 offered up this bleak vision of the present in response to David Mitchell’s CiF piece on the burqa debate. Thanks to Giles.

When a Goverment starts telling people what they should wear we are on the road to George Orewells 1984 which is the country we now live in

But remeber today sunday we allow the Goverment to tell us that Tesco/Asda/Sainsburys can only open for 6 hours to let us shop

What hope has this country got of ever living in freedom when we allow the Goverment to tell us when to shop

Think of it

Emma
emma2001

Just think of it, when you’re trudging all the way to the corner shop at 4:01pm this Sunday. Think: “this is my Oceania. This is my war-torn totalitarian murderhole. This is my Iraq, my Zimbabwe, my Sudan. They may not be laying waste to my cultural heritage. They may not be violently suppressing dissent. They may not be dragging my family away to death camps. But they are restricting trading hours for one day of each week. Repression of basic human desires. Just as Orwell predicted. Shit, I’m like a philosopher or something. I could murder some Space Raiders.”

89 Responses to “A Human Face Frowning Outside Boots”

on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:03 am Oaf

The government should tell our local bus company that they don’t need to take the detour up to Tesco after 4:00 on Sunday…. because it’s closed.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:04 am Theodore

Emma 2001. Saint Catherine Oliver with issues.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:04 am That Bloke in the Corner

When a Goverment starts telling people what they should wear we are on the road to George Orewells 1984 which is the country we now live in

No problem then, according to emma2001 were already living the dream so what’s her beef?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:06 am That Bloke in the Corner

apologies for the state of my blockquotes there
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:11 am plonky

“Just as Orwell predicted.” It’s “Orewell”, please – don’t you know anything? Please remeber that in future.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:21 am Zoned Clone

Space Raiders? emma2001 strikes me as a Burger Bites kind of gal. Served in a white “bread” sandwich with corner shop ketchup.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:23 am Zoned Clone

The Burger Bites, not our em, go in the sandwich. Just thought I’d clear up any confusion.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:34 am Sir Terence Fuckwit

@Zoned Clone. I’m still very confused ‘cos I reckon our Em is well up for a zombie sandwich.

Shop opening hours as indicative of the degree of freedom in a country? What about the poor twats that work so Emma can get her Monster Munch whenever she pleases? Oh, Mr. Orewell also predicted and celebrated the low wage economy. That’s alright then. I’m off to join a campaign to overturn that ridiculous vote in Catalonia to ban bull-fighting. What would that Mr. Hemmmmmingway say?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:41 am new scientist

This has got to be a spoof. Either that, or Emma stands outside ASDA on a Sunday at 5pm with a loudhailer, horn-rimmed spectacles and a Spanish guitar covered with stickers, loudly proclaiming to startled passers-by that the ‘closed’ sign is a ‘symbol of your oppression.’ I like emma2001.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 8:47 am new scientist

Imagine her post being read by a hippy addressing a peace rally through a megaphone, in that SLOW…PASSIONATE…STYLE…where they put EMPHASIS on every other WORD and you’ll get my picture of emma2001.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 9:51 am Tech

Bwhahahaha. I read that piece, and the minute I saw her comment, I somehow knew it would end up here. Nicely done.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:06 am tw@basket.com

If only poor Emma2001 had steered clear of the inappropriate invocation of Orwell she could easily have got out of this with some of her dignity intact. She could have mentioned Thomas Paine’s views on the state keeping its nose out of religion and religion keeping its nose out of the state and everybody would have smiled and nodded but, no, it had to be Orwell.

The government should tell our local bus company that they don’t need to take the detour up to Tesco after 4:00 on Sunday…. because it’s closed.

You get buses on Sunday? You lucky sod! Do they have wheels and everything? Round my way they run a Sunday style service during the week and then observe the Lord’s day by making damn sure that nobody can go anywhere without a car, even to Church.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:32 am Tim nice but dim

This is like the 24 hours drinking thread, many contributers ask “what are the benefits of 24 hour opening hours? How about so I can have a drink when I finish work at 3AM, before I retire to my bed for 6 hours sleep before getting up and starting it all over again.
Not all of us are on benefits or in some cushy public sector 9 to 4:30 job telling others when they can or cannot drink. The point emma bless her was making, is that if we must live in a “multicultural” society, why are we sticking to christian hours of opening. If God did make the world in six days, he must have used Sunday to do his shopping.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:32 am christonabike

What hope have we of freedom when we’re on the road towards to a destination we’ve arrived at?

And when I tried to buy a steak at 3 O’clock in the morning I found the Government had closed the butcher’s, hidden the sun and made everyone in my neighbourhood go to sleep.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:44 am Oaf

You get buses on Sunday? You lucky sod! Do they have wheels and everything?

Oh yes. They have wheels, seats, two tone paintwork, air conditioning and even engines!
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:05 am Jim

@Oaf, do they also have the obligatory back-of-the-bus lunatic?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:08 am john Adair's Gerbil

What’s this about shops shutting? My local Tesco’s is open 24 hours a day.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:30 am The Toksvig Avenger

But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over herself. He loved Monster Munch and Big Brother.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:31 am The Toksvig Avenger

*she… arse!
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:45 am Kris

When Emma is led into Room 101, she is greeted by a solemn-faced Asda employee.

‘Hello, Emma. Care for some Twiglets?’
‘Y…yes?’
‘Well, you can’t. It’s Sunday. We’re closed.’

Needless to say, Emma broke within minutes.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:48 am john Adair's Gerbil

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped quickly through the glass doors of Victory Mansions, though not quickly enough to reach the Ministry of Plenty Victory Store before its shutters rolled down with a crash.

“Goldstien’s theories of market opening hours are doubleplusungood” thought Winston, knowing in his heart that he was lying to himself.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:49 am Have Your Lurk

Listen, Tim nice but dim…

Nah. Not worth the trouble.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:51 am Tim nice but dim

There are so many “aliens” in our town, that when Ramadam is on, our Halal butcher gives up and goes on holiday.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:53 am Tim nice but dim

Listen, Tim nice but dim…

Nah. Not worth the trouble.

Please have your Lurk, I am all ears, what is your secret?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 12:03 pm My Pockets Hurt

Save the “jokes” for Stormfront, Tim.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 12:03 pm The Toksvig Avenger

Please have your Lurk, I am all ears, what is your secret?

That would be the difference between being an adorable t@#t and just a t@#t?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 12:19 pm Ugly Newt

DimTim:

[...] our Halal butcher gives up and goes on holiday.

I’m coming to your neighbourhood, and I’m bringing all my plankton-eating friends with me.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 12:36 pm Marx & Sparx

Has Redwatch lost one of it’s village idiots?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 12:38 pm Undemocratic Speed Bump

Poor emma2001 is fraught with worry that the Government, or Big Brother (the totalitarian system, not the reality TV show) is going to tell her what to wear. No more fake Gucci hangbags and boobtubes. The horror.

I like her too. She makes me laugh in a patronisingly superior way.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 12:46 pm That Bloke in the Corner

Dimmy Timmy

….our Halal butcher gives up and goes on holiday.

Move from Islamabad then.Try Hicksville USA, probably more to your liking.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 12:56 pm Tim nice but dim

Dimmy Timmy

….our Halal butcher gives up and goes on holiday.

Move from Islamabad then.Try Hicksville USA, probably more to your liking.

I’ve no need, they’re all living in Sparkbrook now
on 29 Jul 2010 at 12:57 pm Tim nice but dim

Nelson – Please, BLAH the f#$k out of me..
on 29 Jul 2010 at 1:00 pm The Toksvig Avenger

No more fake Gucci hangbags and boobtubes. The horror.

…the horror! (I love the smell of Bacardi Breezers in the morning)
on 29 Jul 2010 at 1:41 pm ad ho

When a Goverment starts telling people what they should wear we are on the road to George Orewells 1984 which is the country we now live in

Should be:

With growing income disparities between the rich and poor, we are on the road to George Orwell’s Road to Wigan Pier, which is the country (road/town/pier) we now live in now.
But I don’t live in Wigan Pier. Can I have a toffee-apple?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 1:45 pm Mouse

Oh Tim please will you just fuck off and read the Daily Mail or something.

Also, I’m noticing a distinct drop off in pedantry on recent threads. Incorrect punctuation and grammar are rife! where are all the pedants?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 1:49 pm Philbert

There are so many “aliens” in our town, that when Ramadam is on, our Halal butcher gives up and goes on holiday.

Somebody should tell him that Muslims still eat during Ramadan, so he’s probably missing out on a lot of business.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 1:53 pm Philbert

There are so many “aliens” in our town, that when Ramadam is on, our Halal butcher gives up and goes on holiday.

Come to think of it, this doesn’t make sense on any level. Would he stay if there were fewer “aliens”? Do Muslims only start observing Ramadan if they reach a critical mass? Would a smaller Muslim population force this (entirely fictional) butcher to branch out, e.g. into Kosher butchery?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 1:53 pm Theodore

I bet emma2001 is on the Ents committee at her college and by doing so, she thinks that she is making a really worthwhile contribution to life at her university.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 1:55 pm Have Your Lurk

Indeed, more pedantry! After all, being a pedant is just one letter away from being a paedant, and with paedantry to the fore can peadophilia be far behind? (Yes, the Hello Kitty-themed Hells Angels jacket, thanks.)

We’ll start with Tim nice but dim. Timmy, baby, what the jizziming fuck, man? We’re all xenophobes to some extent, but you come across as an actual, fucking, racist, Fascist, neo-Nazi scumbag fucktard slimebag cunt-of-cunts, yea, unto aeternum. (That’s the watered-down version.) What the f*** are you doing here? Not that I’m not grateful for someone who’s even more twatty than myself, but seriously, if you believe all that shit then why don’t you… eh… go off and associate with your own kind?

(Please don’t be so pedantic as to point out the lack of pedantry in my anti-Tim diatribe.)
on 29 Jul 2010 at 2:05 pm Dizzy

Please don’t feed the mingebag. It’ll just encourage him.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 2:10 pm Tim nice but dim

At Have your Lurk

“what am I doing here”, Just trying to bring a little balance to a rapidly Left Wing, Guardian reading, anti HYS site.And brush up on my punctuation and spelling.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 2:24 pm Ugly Newt

Just trying to bring a little balance

So you’re jealous of the generally fuckwit-free environment here, and have to pollute it with your own twatfulness in order to drag it down to the level of the other bits of the internet you infest.

rapidly Left Wing

Rapidly? Not for what you’re payin’, guv.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 2:32 pm Lurker in a Burkha

I pride myself in being rapidly left wing, I can read the Guardian from cover to cover in half an hour.

And it’s preferable to being a rabidly right wing shithead who can’t post a comment on an obscure pisstake blog without frothing at the mouth about aliens “invading” some West Midlands shitheap.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 2:42 pm Have Your Lurk

There’s a positive side to Tim nice but dim. HYS is, literally, coming to us in order to get shredded to tiny bits. It’s not really correct to call him a troll, because the very definition of SYB is that we take idiots to pieces; all trolls are idiots; hence we are troll-proof, by definition.

It’s like having an interactive post written by Nelson or somebody. We say something amazingly funny; Tim nice but dim actually replies; and we hang and quarter him. And Tim seems to be quite happy with this arrangement, actually. (Although if he then goes and slashes his wrists or something and leaves a suicide note blaming SYB, then, um, well, fuck it, that’s one HYS fucktard less to worry about.)
on 29 Jul 2010 at 2:50 pm Tim nice but dim

I have proposed marriage to Emma2001 and am pleased to announce that she as accepted. I formally invite all those on SYB to the wedding, a wedding gift list will be appended shortly.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 2:56 pm Have Your Lurk

I bags the dildo with the Swarovski swastikas on the knob end.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:11 pm dirigible

It’s like the void is staring back.

And commenting.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:16 pm History Crow

I quite like it when a real, live HYSer breaks into the SYB common room.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:19 pm Kris

Nowt going on on HYS today (apart from the world’s most boring people giving the world’s most boring opinions on bull-fighting), but here’s another smooth ladies man from Das Mail. A female kickboxer was accidentally killed.

Very sad, of course, on a personal level, but why do some women try to emulate men?

Whether in the workplace, or in sport, women are NOT the same as men and should behave DIFFERENTLY.

Women should NOT be AGGRESSIVE. It is simply unnatural and ghastly. Women should be soft and gentle, sweet and submissive, charming and adorable. That’s the way to gain respect and affection, girls.

-Simon, London, 29/7/2010 9:22

Simon thinks that the sound of a rape alarm is just a noise women make during conversation.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:23 pm Rotwatcher

Also, I’m noticing a distinct drop off in pedantry on recent threads. Incorrect punctuation and grammar are rife! where are all the pedants?

You missed a capital ‘W’ there, Mouse.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:26 pm Oaf

@Oaf, do they also have the obligatory back-of-the-bus lunatic?

Yes but he has to be booked in advance. You can do it on the interwebnethingy now though.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:32 pm Ceannair

Women should be soft and gentle, sweet and submissive, charming and adorable. That’s the way to gain respect and affection, girls.

Spesh ? He’s on to us!!!

KICK HIM!!!
on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:33 pm Tim nice but dim

Nowt going on on HYS today (apart from the world’s most boring people giving the world’s most boring opinions on bull-fighting),

Boring, how can you say that with quotes like this below

37. At 11:11am on 28 Jul 2010, LabourBrokeBritain wrote:

……The moaning minority have always got something to whine about whether its bull fighting, boxing, the fantastic Isle of Man TT, hunting, films or computer games.

You are a minority get over yourselves and stop making other peoples lives unpleasant with your incessant whingeing. We don’t want to hear you anymore.

——————————————————————————

I was under the impression that this was a forum for people to express THEIR opinions. Are you against this also. If so why do you spend time on this site?

Complain about this comment

404. At 1:56pm on 29 Jul 2010, _Agbonlahor_ wrote:
At 09:54am on 29 Jul 2010, mckissock wrote:

”Catalonia was indeed an independant nation untill 1714. It pledged loyalty to various crowns throughout the years to maintain its independance,untill bieng finally subjected by military force on 11 sept 1714. In fact catalonia has just as long a history of alleigance to the kings of france as they had to the kings of aragon. Thus, just as the basques feel more french than spanish, so do many catalans.
It is worth remembering that while the spanish were still living in caves, the catalans had industry, education, thier own law and a functioning democracy thanks to this early influence from europe, that Spain had still to have.
The only hope for Spains future as a united peninsula is to adopt the British model and start to respect the catalan history, identity and culture. Indeed Spain owes a huge debt of thanks to catalonia for floating its ecomomy for so many years.
And sadly my friend it is imperialists like you that are driving the catalans away, and mark my words that wothout the taxes reaped from catalonia , Spain is going to be a very very poor nation”

Just two things. First of all please don’t try to teach me my own history coz’ I know it better then you coz’ I repeat CATALONIA NEVER HAS BEEN A INDEPENDENT COUNTRY SO IT’S NOT THE SAME WITH SCOTLAND. And really if you want I can show you all about Spain history and then u will understand what’s the true.

You are lying when you say that Spain is imperialist with the catalans, can you please tell me if I as spaniard as the catalans, can I speak in spanish or study in spanish in Catalonia?. Please mate I mean it’s ok if your wife is a ”catalana independentist” and you talk for her, but you know,don’t believe her coz’ she doesn’t know the truth. Really check out all the spanish history I can tell you a very good websites ok?.

Now you see why the is an overflow of refugees like myself claiming asylum from HYS now that BBC appointed Lefty Alex Gubbay as ruined HYS. Now where to I sign on at SYB for my free benefits and council flat, its my Uman rites you know!
on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:51 pm Em Dee

Tim, I’m intrigued by the notion that your presence here provides ” balance “. This is a website for likeminded people, not a news bulletin. Presumably if you cleave to this notion thoroughly, you’d be happy for us to go onto Migrationwatch’s website and spam them for ” balance ” ?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 4:57 pm Kris

Having Tim here could be a real oppurtunity. We have a chance to pick the branes of an HYSer, really find out what makes them tick, and perhaps find some understanding.

Alternatvely, we could punch ourselves in the genitals for hours and hours. Whichever seems more fun.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 5:09 pm Guardianistani

Dear Tim,

You are an absolute fuckmuffin.

Sincerely,

The Human Race
on 29 Jul 2010 at 5:30 pm ligne

“Please don’t feed the mingebag. It’ll just encourage him.”

what about if we feed the wankstain some razorblades, and condoms packed with rat vomit?
on 29 Jul 2010 at 5:50 pm Tim nice but dim

From the Mail online (real news) article on our Minister without portfolio (the one that broke her own rules on employing illegal immigrants) getting eggs thrown at her

I see. Baroness Warsi has her persecutors pursued, caught and prosecuted. That is as it should be.

Yet the thugs who hurled eggs at Nick Griffin and others outside Parliament, their faces clear and filmed on TV and other cameras, the police do absolutely nothing about – even though they were standing there at the time! This simple fact is as good a guide as any as to which way the wind blows and the law operates in today’s busted Britain.
- Cllr Chris Cooke, Tamworth, UK, 29/7/2010 14:52

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1298672/Protester-hurled-egg-Muslim-Tory-minister-Baroness-Warsi-guilty.html#ixzz0v5gi9COz

Under Lefty law, BNP members are fair game!
on 29 Jul 2010 at 6:10 pm Guardianistani

@Tim

Christ, if you think Baroness Warsi is a “lefty” I’d love to hear your views on, say, Peter Tatchell.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 6:11 pm ligne

really? i’ll get my shotgun.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 6:15 pm Rapid Lefty

…Zoooooom!
on 29 Jul 2010 at 6:15 pm Rapid Lefty

@ligne
I wouldn’t.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 6:16 pm Rapid Lefty

..or @Guardianistani.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 6:22 pm Southern Ponce

To be honest Timmikins’ views on Peter Tatchell are something I would probably pay to avoid hearing.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 6:41 pm Guardianistani

Yeah, I really could’ve worded that better. I don’t even want to hear Tim’s views on the weather.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 6:47 pm Ed aka Voltaire

I’d like to hear TimDim’s view of the side of a tall building, as he plummets from the top to his doom. I know it would probably sound like “aaaaaaaaaa” with the sound of weeing, but I’d like to be scientifically certain.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 7:04 pm Jones

Think of it

A truly excellent way to end random brain-spunks.

Think of it.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 7:27 pm Undemocratic Speed Bump

@ Jones

I’m in the think of it right now, and it is a depressing place to be.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 7:37 pm Think of it

If I’m right.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 9:18 pm Sredni Vashtar

Actually, Tim should stay – he’s earned it with the ‘rapidly left wing’ typo. As they say on teh internetz – I lol’ed and even roflmaod a little bit. Do one thing for me TNBD – never proof read before posting.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 9:58 pm Mobile-enigma

Personally i dont see what the fuss is. our judiciary made the right decision to release the bulger killers four years into thier sentence, and have done so here. perhaps it is time for the g8 protestors to look at thier actions, ideally via a public enquiry
on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:06 pm em_dee

I love the way that Tim singles out BNP egg-hurling as an example of ” lefty law ” but fails to note that assaulting journalists in front of the rest of the press, printing private telephone numbers so BNP members can harass reporters,etc. are pretty good examples of ” right wing knobcheese thug law “
on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:19 pm Richard0

Now i’ve got to run to the shop and buy some space raiders, possibly a bag of pickled onion monster munch.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:58 pm funny peculiar

A big bottle of Cherry Diet Coke, 2 packs of Salt ‘n’ Vinegar Chipsticks, Twenty Lambert and a copy of The Anarchist’s Cookbook, please, Fellow Oppressed Drone of The Anti-Consumer Tyranny… Oh, and a pack of Rizla.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:09 pm funny peculiar

Well, well, you learn something new everyday… Rizla is a portmanteau of Riz + La. So named because the papers are from rice, and the Lacroix family have produced them since the 16th century en France. Well, there you go.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:19 pm Mirelurk

Contrast and compare…

I notice that everytime there is a mugshot of the latest Mugger , rapist, gun and knife carrying gangsters, happy slappers on BBC news they “look different to me”.
When it’s the latest serviceman blown up in Afganistan, (theres a page with all 400+ somewhere on BBC, they look very similar to me.

Lets look at the latest bomb plotters, Assad Sarwar, Ahmed Ali and Tanvir Hussain. No Jacks or Chardonays there, funny that.
I think you will find names like Callum, Connor, Jack, Daniel, Brandon and Charlie on the latest killed in Afganistan list, whilst names like Hassam, Mohammed, Imran or Raj on the latest knifecrimers news report.

One of the above is Timmy (a little lamb with a lot to learn). The other is ‘John Adair’, a shitty parody of HYS racist John Adair, writing on the Blah Your Branes forum in September last year.

* Posted this on previous thread. Felt pleased with self. Realised no-one would look there. Felt less pleased. Reposted here. Felt pleased but a bit ashamed. Realised no-one gives a fuck what I have to say. Felt sad.
on 29 Jul 2010 at 11:52 pm RIPOFF BRITIAN

Sitting at home on a Sunday afternoon unable to purchase cheesy wotsits from Sainsbury’s, Emma2001 finally understands what it must have felt like being Jewish in 1938 in Nazi Germany, cowering in the attic…

…Or something equally cunty and demonstrating a complete lack of a sense of proportion.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 12:34 am The Toksvig Avenger

Posted this on previous thread. Felt pleased with self. Realised no-one would look there. Felt less pleased. Reposted here. Felt pleased but a bit ashamed. Realised no-one gives a fuck what I have to say. Felt sad.

Wait…what?! You mean that DimTim is some kind of Inception based level 3 racist, and if we collectively wake up we’re going to be confronted by John Adair? Deep…

On the other hand:

It’s like the void is staring back.

And commenting.

… and my wife is down there, are shes pissed off.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 12:35 am The Toksvig Avenger

*and.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 1:00 am Pirate Pete

I like beef-flavour Hula Hoops. Am I normal?
on 30 Jul 2010 at 1:24 am ad ho

Ferfucksake, Pete. Beef flavour Hula Hoops?
I hope that was some kind of euphemism.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 8:12 am Oaf

Yet the thugs who hurled eggs at Nick Griffin and others outside Parliament, their faces clear and filmed on TV and other cameras, the police do absolutely nothing about

That’s because the police secretly wish that they had thrown the eggs at Griffin. A person described by one of my friends as looking like someone has stretched luncheon meat over a toad.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 9:29 am My Pockets Hurt

I’ve seen many brainfarts on this site, but only Tim has managed to follow through while sharing one.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 9:40 am Have Your Lurk

I notice that everytime there is a mugshot of the latest Mugger , rapist, gun and knife carrying gangsters, happy slappers on BBC news they “look different to me”.

Yup. There are no white rapists, muggers or gangsters. Everyone knows that. FACT.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 9:55 am Undemocratic Speed Bump

On the discussion of names and how we can tell if someone is a soldier or a rapist from their surname, whenever I heard Charles Taylor mentioned on the news, I thought he was a white man, doing his bit for Africa. But then I found out he was a black war-criminal.

See with a last name like Mugabe, you know where you stand. But Charles Taylor? Charles McArthur Taylor. Sounds like a greengrocer.

Confusing innit? Think of it.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 10:52 am DonkeySquicker

Surely you can tell what colour he is by the fact that the things he did were bad?

After all, whoever heard of a white war criminal?

Oh.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 10:54 am Bugrat

Consider the possibility that Emma2001 might only be a precocious nine-year-old, and therefore just a trainee Catherine Oliver.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 11:52 am Ceannair

Description of Nick “nick nick” Griffin:

A person described by one of my friends as looking like someone has stretched luncheon meat over a toad./blockquote>

Funniest thing ever on t’interwebs. Fact.
on 30 Jul 2010 at 3:05 pm Emma's mate

Emma2001, we can be together forever. I will take you down 24/7 supermarkets, we can shop at the toiletries section in the twilight hours, make love next to the vegetables at sunrise… oh sweet Emma2001, be mine.

"If you love The Environment so much..
why don't you go live there?"

89 Responses to “A Human Face Frowning Outside Boots”

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spEak You're bRanes

"If you love The Environment so much.. why don't you go live there?"

89 Responses to “A Human Face Frowning Outside Boots”

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"If you love The Environment so much..
why don't you go live there?"