Thanks to Damon for a bit of a change from the usual rancid warbling on HYS, where they’ve been asking how should people contribute to society?
This is theprotectors, who, for a change from HYS, doesn’t think contributions to society peak at being a cunt to the darker shades of it. No, the revolutionary idea here is that everyone should be nice to each other. That’s not really an idea I can get on board with, but at least it’s original in a HYS context. And doesn’t involve banning burqas.
If people in genral could be nice to eachother and show some considaration to someone else then alot would have been won.
The nature of the society has become harder more hateful.
How is this for a cree: Dare to care and dare to share.
What is wrong with that.
We all are human and we all live on this litle earth.
We need to wake up and start to take care of the earth and us. Stop the wars and so on.
theprotectors
That’s the way to go. I can’t fault the attitude, but the planning needs some work. I think theprotectors might be an ideas person, like Jesus Himself Christ was portrayed in The Bible. Or Genesis And So On, as we call it round our way. Obviously, the details need to be left to the little people – although leaving this seed to germinate with the gnomes on HYS will see it covered in internet cat piss and scraped into a conscientious heap fairly quickly.
I’ll make a start. What’s this? Dare to care and dare to share? No, that’s my stuff, I worked hard for that stuff and you want me to give it away to some scrounger? You a socialist? They’re the only people that share. Are you saying that we should give all our stuff away to scroungers? And what’s this about the world? Are you saying we should let more immigrants in? Scrounging immigrants TAKING MY STUFF? AND MY JOB? BRITAIN’S FULL! FACT! LEFTIST SCUM! BRITISH JOBS FOR BRITISH WORKERS! SHUT DOWN THE BBC! I DARE YOU TO PUBLISH THIS.
54 Responses to “World Peace, And So On”
Sadly ‘theprotectors’ is clearly a primary school child showing youthful optimism before the weight of the world crushes his/her spirit.
If somebody said “Dare to care, dare to share.” to me in the pub. I would tell them to fuck off.
That’s not Cree. Them’s Iroquois arrows.
I’m going to prepare a placard with “STOP THE WARS AND SO ON” immediately.
At least they’ve only posted it on HYS- Brian Haw’s been living on Parliament Square for the past nine years on exactly the same premise.
40. At 09:45am on 19 Jul 2010, PMGlenThomas wrote:
“People have been moaning about the New Labour nanny state for years, and now Cameron has offered to return power to the people, all I see far and wide is people moaning about how they are now to be expected to do things that they think they are paying the government to do.
This is just unbelievable. People will just complain whatever happens. You could hand them the moon on a stick and it just wouldn’t be good enough.
Don’t worry Dave, I’ll be here right behind you. Lets do it.”
WHAT?? You can’t please all the people all of the time?? This is brand new information.
(I am a bit worried that PMGlenThomas wants to give Dave a bit more than he bargained for…..)
Dare to share? Isn’t that Bolshevism of the worst sort? FACT. Clearly theprotectors (more like THECOMMISSARS eh? eh?) would like to fill fair England with “caring” speed cameras and before you know it Orwell 1984 etc and England will be full of gulags.
Think of it.
I find theprotectors’s suggestion problematic, in the sense of actual people having to care about and share with the cunts populating HYS, CiF etc. I say fuck these cunts.
Down with this sort of thing!
Moon on a stick? That would just fuck the tides up. You haven’t thought this through PMGlenThomas.
Why is having the moon presented to you on a stick considered a good thing, and what would I do with said moon, were it thus presented in such a manner? Methinks I would say, “Moon? Where’s my fucking Nintendo Wii, you moron?” Methinks.
Oh I am so putting that on a t-shirt and wearing it to Glasto next year.
PMGlenThomas: Not alone can you not please all of the people all of the time, you can’t even pleasure yourself some of the time. Cunt.
Maybe I just operate entirely on an ironic level now, but I read that and I feel like calling Poe.
Or, it could be that I was about the right age to remember where moon on a stick was popularised outside of Hampshire, and so if anyone uses it I think they’re taking the piss.
I’m surprised no one has thought of just not doing wars any more. It’s such a simple solution when you think about it. Someone should invent a machine to make food out thin air too, no more problems with people starving. Do I have to come up with all the solutions here!!!
I’ve been moaning about the nanny state for years. During sex, just before I come I always shout, “Nanny state! Nanny state!” No woman has ever heard it twice.
‘Don’t be a dick’, and that shall be the whole of the law.
Two points:
1) HYL is getting funnier…. (alarming)
2) I’m a Marmoset’s mastectomies
@Kris, your missing the “Thu shalt not owe money to Big Dave”….. but aside from that yer right!
“o”
Bournemouth? Autocunt.
Confirmed.
Sounds like something a nice hippy girl would say. I would tell her I wanted to hear more.
And I think theprotectors is an 8-year-old doing a tribute to Bill Hicks.
and “‘re”
Yeah, but the North Pole is getting warmer, but there’s still fuckloads of ice about.
Keep truckin, Lurk, I believe in you.
I apologise in advance for this, but Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes theprotectors and his or her “Stop the wars and so on” has made me think back to Nelson’s post months ago about shutting down Heckler & Koch. (Thinks, in passing: H&K’s name sounds like a gatecrasher at a porn open mike night. But I digress.)
Anyway, Nelson said something like, “In the future the very idea of an arms industry should be just as repugnant as slavery is now, or giving the vote to men only, or commissioning another series of Heroes.” (I might have that slightly wrong, but you get the general gist.)
Today, for example, none of the major powers do the empire-building thing any more. It’s simply not cool. The UK or France etc. doesn’t invade other countries and simply annex them and say, “This is ours now. Fuck off, natives, you ungrateful cunts.”
So it is not inconceivable that in the future, even the very idea of a war could be repugnant. Of course, since it took approximately all of recorded history to get empire-building out of our collective system, then it would stand to reason that war-stopping ain’t gonna happen tomorrow, or even in the next couple of weeks.
But my point is, theprotectors might be utterly totally living in cloud fucking cuckooland and feverishly moaning about nanny states (q.v.), but that’s not to say that he or she hasn’t got his or her heart in the right place. Right between the fucking lungs.
Y’know, before I started typing all this, it sounded much better in my head. Oh, and Toksvig – thanks. Makes it all worthwhile.
@Lurk
You should watch this (still can’t be bothered to find out how to link);
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6K8yfQYOTQ
1:27 onwards in particular.
I’d be quite happy if Bournemouth Resident’s head remained firmly below water, rather than him ‘attepting’ to keep his head up.
Thanks for the pedantry yesterday Rotwatcher. My world almost feels normal again.
@Mouse
I’m suspicious you put it there on purpose, but regardless, have an *attempting on me.
Oh for fucks sake, I just realised that’s a quote mistake.
Just ignore me forever.
Thanks anyway Kris, a misguided pedant is, nevertheless, still a pedant
@Kris:
Love is the law, love under dick?
I blame it all on global warming. The darkies are manipulating us into heating up the planet to suit them. They’ve planned it so that when there are palm trees growing above the Arctic Circle, there’ll be more blacks living on benefits in five-star hotels than there will be whites paying taxes. Look, it’s all Toksvig’s fault for saying I was funny. Now I can’t stop myself. I was getting good at self-control there for a while. I really was.
HYL – oh hon. You really were reining it in. And then that.
Oh well, better luck next time.
@Dean and the Bournemouth Autocunt
Funny that, 99.99% are just too busy keeping their heads above water. I assume by treading water, Bournemouth Autocunt means watching TV, as television watching as increased year upon year and Brits now watch about 4 hours a day and -
Hang on, what the fuck I am doing here attempting to build up a debate? theprotectors sounds like a rapidly left-wing, sandal-eating, lentil-wearing, tree-playing, guitar-hugging, psycho-communist hippy.
That’s better. Jesus shit, that was close.
Caught in a personal crisis of possible relapse, HYL turns to Cuger Brant’s tweets in desperation.
Just to clarify:
Interesting. Hum. But never let it be said that Cuger isn’t aware of his fans:
Well, yes, Coog, but we’re not laughing with you, you know…
The Protectors, I always fancied that Nyree Dawn Porter when I was lad, and they say I am a racist!
This is the most endearing HYS ever, and all the smug cunts that aren’t above picking on 13 year olds should just love each other and so on
TimBulb, you are a racist.
Who cares about the fucking war, what about Sunday opening hours, eh?
Frankly if the Taliban would let Tesco open 24/7 I’d welcome them with open arms.
(I don’t know much about the Taliban, is that very likely?)
Cockbulb.
I wish you would fall prey to Allah. And by Allah, I mean a lion.
As a distraction from Tim blah-blah Dim, I think an update on the life of Ian Cheese is in order:
This guy is comedy gold
Part of me wants to give the bull a medal and part of me thinks shit it can’t have done a good job as Ian Cheese is still alive.
Perhaps he meant the bull attacked him by calling him a cunt?
or do theprotectors lines sound eerily like the blank verse from Mark Hollis’ solo album?
Don’t go looking for it if you don’t know it. It’s good but not up there with Laughing Stock or Spirit of Eden.
The bull most probably saw a tremendous cow’s vagina passing by and naturally attempted to molest him.
No-one’s made the obvious connection here – ‘The Protectors’ are obviously ‘The Avengers’ for the 21st century.
Mine’s the one next to the bowler hat and the swordstick
Pleasant audio wallpaper. I’ve owned it for five years, but if you played a random track from it to me I wouldn’t be able to tell you which one it was
Nice to see Tim back, though. Why d’you stand me up last Saturday?
No-one’s made the obvious connection here – ‘The Protectors’ are obviously ‘The Avengers’ for the 21st century.
It’s 1972 all over again:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068122/
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jul/30/north-korea-footballers-public-mauling?plckFindCommentKey=CommentKey:0cab8855-ee80-4d60-b757-c0028c554a3d
Do I win a prize?
“Stop the wars and so on” is worthy of John Lennon, or at least Boy George.
Seems theprotectors have changed their tune since 1972 when their attitude was that in the avenues and alleyways, where the soul of a man is easy to buy, everybody’s wheeling, everybody’s stealing; all the low are living high. Every city’s got em, can we ever stop em? Some of us are gonna try.
It’s a bank holiday weekend over here and after a nice day out, I am feeling good. So good in fact, that I felt up to having a little look round HYS.
Checklist of HYS archetypes (not exhaustive), courtesy of SYB? Check. Clipboard? Check. Pencil? Check.
Here goes….
Wyclef Jean may or may not be thinking of running for President of Haiti – what are your thoughts?
Tick.
Tick.
Ha! Tick.
Sigh. Tick.
And finally, my personal favourite…motherhood as a shortcut to wisdom and political power.
I can’t WAIT to become a mother! BIG tick.
Yeah come on HYS team, play the game. Let’s really put our minds together and see if we can’t solve some fucking problems, yeah? We could be arguing back and forth on a forum that no one will ever read about world changing issues that we have little to no knowledge of, but instead we’re wasting our time.
You know who we haven’t heard from for a while?… McMad Neil Craig, that’s who. I just popped round to his website to see if he’s OK and was happy to see his latest article is a long and terribly dull piece about Scottish tunnel costs.
But scroll down his previous entry and you’ll see that Neil has an elegant solution for the Deepwater oil slick… explode a ten kiloton nuclear bomb over the spill and, Bob’s Your Uncle, no more oil spill. (are you reading this, Kadir-Buxton, you girly lightweight?)
Of course, this is an obvious, practical answer, but before you think everything’s solved, Neil says the plan has been buried by the political elite and eco-facists.
Go on, just nuke the fucker, you know you want to.
!http://www.gifsoup.com/view/15958/monkey-typing-o.gif!