It’s usually a bit below the belt to lay into someone just on spelling mistakes, but Stephen Murray from Middlesbrough, who I found chatting shite on an old Mail article about Baroness Scotland’s housekeeper, is an exception. Firstly, he’s an idiot. Secondly, he’s an idiot racist with weird paranoid delusions. Thirdly, these are just magical.
She employed this woman nowing she was a imigrant thats why she employed her in the first place ,if you had the slightest dought and you had a job of such importance you would play it safe and look around for uk citizen no problem no fine ,she never thought she would get found out and now she and the labour party are trying desperatly to find some sinario which thay can save her job ,weak priminister and weak goverment.
- stephen murray, middlesbrough
Look at ‘dought’, for a start. Despite his obvious shit-for-brains thought-processes, Stephen understands about silent letters and ‘gh’, he even knows a fair few words that are spelt funny. So he clearly has the makings of a good speller in him. And look at ‘priminister’. It actually seems quite logical if you’ve never seen a newspaper and have no idea what the word is meant to look like. It’s implausible, the more I think about it the more it explains a great deal about the internet, and to be honest it frightens me a little. But the only conclusion I can come to is that Stephen Murray can write but not read.
80 Responses to “Semi-Literate”
“No problem no fine” sounds like an early draft of a Bob Marley song. Now I can’t get it out of my head.
Doesn’t everybody’s web browser have built in spell checking these days? Many of them even pick you up on capitalisation errors. What does he think all those little wavy red lines are for? The internet congratulating him on a particularly clever choice of word?
David “Eton educated” Cameron is a great speller and even gets his puncuation marks in the correct places, does not mean he is right and will not f@ck up the country does it.
Tony Bliar can spell and even add up the hugh amounts of money flowing through is tax free bank accounts, he has still left more dead in his wake than anyone since Hitler and done for this countrys properity what Ghengis Khan did for public realtions.
Still, if we can be “pedantic” about our spelling, all is right with the world!
What losers.
That one’s a perfect example, Tim. Where did you find it?
Sinario (My wavey line confirms the excellent choice of stephen and underlines his name indicating just how right he is…)
That’s questionable. That’s definitely a difficult one to back up.
Tim, here’s one for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4lJ9vsZjMU&feature=PlayList&p=96CA2A68AB79BAAC&playnext=1&index=51
No, Tim’s right on the money there. If you factor in imaginary deaths, and sex the figures up a bit…
Think of it
David “Eton educated” Cameron. I can’t believe he used “Eton educated” as an epithet. (Look it up in a dictionary, Tim “comprehensive educated” nice but dim.)
Dim Tim. We don’t mock people for their spelling mistakes. We mock them for being twats. In many cases the two intersect because people too dumb to use a spell checker and too complacent to proofread their drivel before posting it are also the sort of people who are too dumb to think about whether what they are saying makes any sense and too complacent to examine whether their prejudices have any foundation in anything other than rumour and spite.
It also demonstrates that many of the people saying “they come over here taking our jobs” are so nearly illiterate that they are unemployable whatever the balance of the labour market. If they spent less time complaining and signed up for an adult literacy course (several of which are available free to the unemployed) then they might eventually get a job. The trouble is that this would require them to address their own problems rather than just blame everybody else. Twats don’t like that approach.
Anyway, be warned that when we get bored with pointing out illiteracy we may decide to start mocking the innumerate. If that happens then I am afraid that your claim of “more dead in his wake than anyone since Hitler” will put you at the front of the queue. If you see any rotting vegetables being thrown your way, run.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/theresa-may-scraps-power-to-ban-domestic-abusers-from-victims-homes-2042596.html
So a scheme to protect women from domestic abuse by removing violent partners from the family home is being scrapped. This gives Ian Martin an oppurtunity to show us just how much he hates women.
(spoiler alert; it’s a lot)
Factoids are like facts, except they are made up by evil feminist harpies.
Of course, I’m sure all the men in here can sympathise. We all know what it’s like to be part of a matriarchal underclass. Right? Right? Right.
It’s quite hard to follow what Ian is saying. I get the feeling he does know how to spell and construct arguments, but he’s so seething with impotent rage that his posts come out as gibbering nonsense. Those words he capitalises? That’s not to stress the word, he’s actually shouting those.
Fems in Australia use Saatchi and Saatchi?! OH SHI-
My seething rage theory is gaining momentum. One of Ian’s posts simply reads;
Vvvvvvvvvv.
One third? I thought it was half? You said 70% earlier. Or was it 20%. Fuck you must be good at maths, to work all this out. Do you use Pythagoras’ random number shouting equation?
Ian seems, however, to have come to a conclusion through his madness. Dammit, Ian, what’s CAUSING this disgraceful slavery of men by …… SISTERS?
Logic! I like it. Ian has perfectly understood the concepts of corellation and causation.
Oh come on, the guy is obviously dyslexic, give him a break. I’m a raving pedant (in fact, just today I almost rejected a research paper I’ve been reviewing for a journal, purely because the author enraged me by failing to use commas in the appropriate places), but it is wilful ignorance that irritates me, not the poor people who lack the basic brain machinery to ever fully comprehend language.
Tim, you spell it ‘fuck’ not ‘f@ck’.
Shit, I just fed the troll.
Longer post that I intended, my apologies. It’s just Ian Martin is a floppy penis, you see.
*than
Before any of you smarmy wankers butts in.
I love Ian Martin’s fam-fisted attempts to tie in feminism with big government!
He’s just found two things he doesn’t like and decided their inexorably entwined.
What a paranoid pair of llama’s loose love lips.
While I wouldn’t wish to condone domestic violence by either gender, in this case I think an exception could be made.
As that post is free of simple spelling errors, I think that “once” was the updated count, after he’d proofread the claim he’d just pulled out of his arse.
So Ian Martin thinks that removing a violent partner is depriving kids of a role model?
Well, how else are boys supposed to learn to beat women?
You commented without knowing what the post actually said or concluded at the end, didn’t you? You’re one of them too, aren’t you?
@ New Scientist”just today I almost rejected a research paper I’ve been reviewing for a journal, purely because the author enraged me by failing to use commas in the appropriate places”
What?! Reject it! 75% of submitted papers are rejected from good journals (see, factoids can be true, and dull) – the editors WANT you to reject it. ‘This might be an interesting study; however, the erratic use of grammar and punctuation does not allow me to judge’. Done. I also note that TNBD is giving up on the attempts at humour and just being angry now – possibly due to being upstaged by the brilliance of Cuger in the last post. More Cuger, less response to TNDB please.
Yum Yum.
@Tim very dim
It’s spelt “punctuation”, and “Blair”.
Mao. Pol Pot.
Now fuck off.
Stalin. Pinochet. Kim Il-Sung. And about a hundred others. (Fixed it for you.)
That part’s perfect.
I got a Raul Moat poster in my bedroom.
Total number killed or maimed in Bosnia, Croatia, Afganistan and Iraq. Not bad for a British tin pot PM, even if he cant live up to Mao or Pol Pot.
Mao or Pol Pot dont claim to be Peace Envoys either to be fair.
Ian has it all wrong, women instigate all abuse, whether it’s because they forget to do the dishes or make (English not British) dinner in time. I reckon he’s only counting the times his wife called him a twat and tried to take off the rope tied to the sink as abuse. Seriously, bleeding heart feminists just need reminding that men are awesome once in a while.
Dizzy’s warning to not feed the marmoset’s minge a couple of days ago was prescient. Ciao Tim, it’s been nice not knowing you.
Timdim slobbered:
That’s funny, I’ve got an empty can of Batchelors Cream of mushroom soup in mine (- was Campbells.)
I bet you lot see a lot of “Batchelors Cream” in your bedrooms!
In what way is this relevant?
Oh god, what’s the point.
Someone please sign me up for a long sentence, I am sick of working 60+ hours per week not including commuting to just earn enough money to see me through another week after CSA, PAYE, NI, pension, council tax, travel tax, park at work tax etc etc.
Yes I could do with a spell in one of her majestys 5 star entertainment parks, you even get a free gym I heard plus the spare time to workout in it.
Give me a shout when we have a real government back in charge that rewards the workers, not the shirkers, criminals, gender benders and aslum seekers.
None.
Cuger Brant addresses Ian’s concerns in his marvellous new work “The Tunbridge Wives”, a much-needed science-fiction update to another classic. The following excerpt is from shortly after the bit where a raving feminist blows herself up in the kitchen department of Debenhams:
Tim, I’d love to sign you up for a long sentence, just to see you change your mind about the star rating of the average prison.
richygm wrote:
[quote]I’m sorry, but I cannot support laws that apply only to men.[/quote]
There are no words to describe what a crustacean’s crusty clunge this creature actually is.
(Lets all just ignore the wombat’s winky who’s splurging all over teh interwebs above me).
How the fuck do you do blockquotes on this thing, btw?
Like that stupid!
http://www.w3schools.com/tags/tag_blockquote.asp
But if we had laws that only applied to immigrants/asylum seekers/female Somailian one eyed lesbians, you Lefties would be the first to kick up a stink.
We are all equal, as long as we are not middleclass white heterosexual indigenous males. It’s basically the polar opposite to Hitler I suppose!
Tim, if you think prison is so fucking great then why don’t you commit a serious crime and go there? I can personally assure you that the anal sex and inmate intimidation in Britain’s prisons is second to none. And your first heroin fix is free. You can’t beat that with a big stick. (Although they probably will do precisely that to you.)
Using too many, is, a far more heinous crime.
Tim – look up satire in the dictionary.
I think you’ll find it interesting.
Either that or we’ll get a sub-Daily Wail rant from you.
Ah, I tried the HTML but it didn’t work so assumed it was UBB code. Arse.
There are no laws that apply solely to men, you stupid cunt.
Tim
I am a middle class white heterosexual male. I don’t feel at all oppressed. In fact, I enjoy a lifestyle that most of the worlds population could only dream of. Mostly by accident of birth. Admittedly, I did put in some effort to make the most of the opportunities presented to me. I have bad days, but frankly, I have a pretty good life and am thankful for it.
If you honestly think that you are badly off, despite the massive advantages that life has handed you, there are two possibilities.
1) Actually, you’re not badly off at all, you’re just a whiny little bellend that can’t stand the idea that anyone should have something that you don’t.
2) You are so tragically hopeless that you managed to make a complete mess of your life, and are desperately looking for someone else to blame.
Throbbe hit the nail squarely on the flat bit at the end. Anyone who has access to teh interweb and the time and inclination to post here is de facto part of the privileged elite, and anyone who whines about how hard they have it needs to walk a mile or two in the shoes of the average inhabitant of sub-Saharan Africa.
Not completely correct. Round our way, men seem to be permitted to walk around with their less-than-attractive breasty substances swinging free. I have a feeling that plod might take a dim view if the ladyfolk were to follow suit.
If I have to tell you fuckers to keep off that bridge one more time, I swear I’m going to lose it!
Ha!
Ah, Tim, angry you are. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to spouting bollocks.
There are laws that apply solely to immigrants and asylum seekers, have a gander at http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/policyandlaw/immigrationlaw/legislation/
I know that I’ll come across as a liberal leftie, but I’d like to throw a couple of observable facts at you.
First of all, the reason that stories like Wernham and the crowd of numpties going to Moat’s funeral are front page news is because they’re front page news. They’re not common, in fact very uncommon. “Dog bites man” vs. “Man bites dog” idea.
Secondly, the vast majority of prisoners are functionally illiterate and/or suffer from Autistic Spectrum Disorders, such as Asperger’s Syndrome or ADHD. The difficulty in dealing with children on the AS is immensely challenging to parents. Of the many people I have met over the last few years, we’re the only couple who are still married and together.
While there is a clear link between poverty and crime, I suggest that there is also a link between “well off” parents being more pushy and able to take the time / effort to work their way through the NHS to get a diagnosis and support. In our case, nearly three years . As they head to adulthood, the majority of support services no longer exist.
Now, what are the main characteristics of ASD/ADD/ADHD? Mainly, a lack of appreciation and learning about consequences. They live in the “now” and will act impulsively without any regard for what happens. They do not relate cause with effect. For some, it’s taking a bar of chocolate and denying it was them, for others, it’s taking a car…
So, should we write off 1 in a hundred boys (as the vast majority of criminals are male, in about the same ration of male:female who have ASD), or should we try and create a society that can help them, with the added benefit of the little bastards not breaking in to our houses?
(Is anyone going to read this far?)
Mr Gerbil, I will not tell you again – get off that bridge!
A dim view? You mean a closer look.
Bbbbut, oh, ok then.
I did. I even spotted the typo that you obviously planted deliberately to test if anyone had read to the end
You are wasting your time reasoning with Tim – to people like him, helping people is a sign of weakness, and helping criminals … well, that’s a sign of being a Leftist, pinko, commie, tree-hugging, do-gooder, liberal bastard. Or as I like to call them … humans.
A typo? Fuck, forget what I wrote, it’s tainted…
TimDim:
You’re still wrong, though.
@Sgt. Brant, Cu.Gar General Staff to Colonel Richard Hindrance (Mrs), VC, DSO and Bar, Buffet, Dancing ’til Late
Good work, Brant! Now bayonet him in the bollocks, the nobber.
Mr Throbbe, nice work. Ever considered a career in the King’s Royal Mounted Stamps?
@Colonel Richard Hindrance (Mrs), VC, DSO and Bar, Buffet, Dancing ’til Late
Righto…
Tomorrow I’ll get my FACTS and views from the shit and piss that the Daily Mail’s journo’s churn out to credulous morons.
timbulb said
What the fuck job do you do that allows you to post 8 times on this website between 12:08 and 3:35 on a Wednesday afternoon. I could cope working those hours in that type of job!
Why is it that the unbearable gobshites that like to drone endlessly about how prison is such a lovely experience never seem to actually want to do anything to visit these “5 star holiday camps”? Surely if it’s such a lovely experience then a few years of prison would be just the ticket for these moaning marsupial’s meatflaps?
Why do it then? Doing a shitty job is a sign of failure not, as HYS types seem to think, one of moral worth. I earn more than enough doing stuff I enjoy working for myself. The only other sensible option is not to work. ‘Ne travaillez jamais’ as Debord wrote.
Dear Points of View,
Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why do these silly cunts bother with this even sillier cunt?
Sincerely,
R. C. Gas
Imagine Dizzy’s last post in the style of Mrs Doyle – it works for me
Ooh, I’ve just noticed a remarkable coincidence: under the “Cockroaches floating in the gene pool” post, recently prolific commenter Tim Nice But Dim posted a link to some delusional arse-droppings written by one Henry Makow.
Meanwhile, Lee John Barnes (LLB Hons) — the BNP’s very own legal eagle — just happened to cut ‘n’ paste a lengthy section from that very same site over on his own blog! Check it out (along with the rest of Lee’s cut ‘n’ pas– er, I mean, highly original and absolutely mentally normal musings): http://leejohnbarnes.blogspot.com/
C’mon out and take a bow, Lee!
Ya, Dizzy, I know we’re feeding Timmy the Dog, but I for one got a great deal out of Throbbe’s post. He more or less summed up my own life (not wishing to imply that he actually resembles me, or anything, I mean, I am the infamous Have Your Lurk, after all. There can be only one.)
Oh, and I seem to remember that Kelvin used to “Kelvinate” posts like Timmy’s. Why not have a go yourself, Diz? “This post’s been Dizzified!(TM)” would look good!
Think of it
By the way, is anyone else humming “Cockroaches floating in the gene pool” to the tune of some old Bee Gees song: “two three four shaking on the dance floor”?
Lurk – nope I’m humming it to “Walk the Dinosaur” by Was (not Was) (or British).
Think of it!
Nope, I’m humming it to the tune of the Good Ship Lollipop.
I’ve been listening to too much ISIHAC…
@LJB (LLB Hons)’s No. 1 fan! Love ya, Lee! BTW, got a job yet? (Thank fuck for cut and paste)
He can’t be a lawyer.
A lawyer would never be stupid enough to post an article advocating genocide, surely? http://leejohnbarnes.blogspot.com/2010/08/kill-them-all.html
Oh, the BNP’s legal bod. Explains much.
Pfft, ‘course he’s not an actual lawyer! In fact, Lee hasn’t got any job at all… which is of course the fault of all those swarthy types. And now in austerity Britain (not England) he’s getting a bit worried the govt might cut his benefits as well. I’m sure you can see how that might make an eminently level-headed, reasonable fellow like Lee a bit testy.
Those rapists should have been hanged though. If they get their eyes gouged out in prison I won’t be sad at all.
It’s a shame that morons like LJB only think that them there ‘Pakis’ only rape, but what do you expect from someone with the intellect of plankton?
http://weloveleebarnes.blogspot.com/
Splendid!
Blimey, I will be last in the queue for council housing behind the single Mums, the darkie people, the yellow people, the off white asian people, the burqa people and now the little green one eyed people.
No, lets just lock them up in a five star holiday camp for 5 years (out in 2), how will we pay for this? kick them old whitey ex war heroes out of their council houses and sell to those buy to let foreigners to rent back at an extortionate price.
After all, why waste a full three bedroom house on one old war heroe when you can get 15 minimum wage immigrants jammed in to help aid the economy, NOT!
Coo-ee, hiya Lee!
No new posts on your own blog yet today, I see.
Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth!
Look, if any aliens turn up in space ships, looking for asylum, just point them my way. I will gladly sort them out with housing and pocket money in return for an exclusive, solar-system wide licence on their interplanetary space technology.
Oh dear, Tim’s gone.
Must be off to go and join a queue for a council house. I was going to suggest that he did something radical, like get a fucking job and buy one, instead of sponging off the state.
Grr. TNBD’s ghastliness doesn’t somehow make Tebbitesque approaches to his assumed employment status OK. And yes I am totally just saying this because I’m dole scum.
Satire, Mim, satire.
I was more thinking of Mal, although the Tebbit probably leaked in from your post. There are lots of reasons other than personal failure for having a crappy job. TNBD just picks made-up mad ones based on other people being brown.