HomoSafari. It’s like dipping your face into a bucket full of shit and razor blades marinated in lemon juice.
There is nothing racist or fascist about:
1) wanting to maintain one’s cultural heritage
2) opposing the undemocratic and expansionist New European Empire
4) opposing immigration scams
3) wanting an ecologically sustainable level of populationYour ‘lefty’ insults are pathetic.
HomoSafari
I’d just like to add:
9) something something indigenous white working class
d) wankburger
Я) islamofascism
So that’s the immigrants and the socialists told good and proper, then. Good job. Who else would you like to blame?
This is what misandric feminist bigots have wanted all along, to destroy the male role in society and the fraudulent ‘liberal’ media have colluded with them.
I am glad that I am the ‘wrong’ side of 40 and old enough to remember when men were not subject to institutionalised so-called ‘positive’ discrimination.
HomoSafari
Yeah. The good old days. When men were men and when you were still a massive gobshite.
Funny. I read HomoSafari‘s impression of Britain’s cultural heritage – the one where everyone’s a vicious, misogynistic, selfish racist with views on homosexuality so offensive they get censored within two minutes of being aired – and I’m not exactly peeing my pants to want to save it. In fact, it has directly the opposite effect – it makes me want to stick needles sideways up me Jap’s so I’ll in no way be in danger of contributing to its continuation.
Oh, wait! He’s not done! Keep reading kids, because I’m sure this is going to be worthwhile.
Indeed and male graduates with good typing skills are more likely to be rejected. After I graduated in 1990, I took RSA classes, gaining the relevant qualifications in typewriting (on a proper typewriter – remember them?) and word processing, but I still found myself at the receiving end of anti-male discrimination when it came to seeking employment.
HomoSafari
Alternatively, you could explore your massive personality defect as a cause. Remember, it’s not discrimination if you’re just some kind of cunt.
73 Responses to “1), 2), 4), 3)”
“After I graduated in 1990, I took RSA classes, gaining the relevant qualifications in typewriting (on a proper typewriter – remember them?)”
Yes, I do. They were worse in every possible way. I like to imagine that his brain exploded with the sheer versatility and power of Word 2 on Windows 3.1 and he’s never quite got over his inability to adapt.
HomoSafari… sounds like a shrouded allusion to cottaging. Or perhaps he wants to be set free in a field of lah-ti-dahs so he can shoot them with his, er… gun?
Come out of the closet, we’re all friends here.
Hang on, I’m dead. Sorry, should have thought it through before posting.
My mood has also been lifted by knowing that he’s nearer to the grave than the cradle.
Is this your way of asking to be called a cunt?
The real question is – English or British typewriter?
Thanks all the same but I don’t wear a coat, I’m covered in fur.
Well then, all you have to do is chop off your lad and get a couple of silicon implants, Tim. Then you can thrill to the delicious feeling of raw power that all women enjoy when their bosses “puut” their hands up their skirts.
There is nothing racist or fascist about:
1. Spreading Marmite on your toast before applying a healthy layer of Philadelphia (the brand of cream cheese, not the City);
2. Asking a priest where the nearest pub quiz might be;
C. Sticking a broom up one’s bum in order to do more than two things at once nor
iv. hanging oneself from a handy beam after realising the extent of one’s twattishness
(is that how I should spell “twattishness” or is it without the double ‘t’? I never know…)
Thanks, people.
I tend to assume that all these twats who clearly know nothing about anything are all in their late teens or early 20s and have yet to meet the real world. I delude myself that they will calm down a bit once they meet a few people from different backgrounds and learn that we are all more or less the same, just trying to get by in a difficult world. Knowing that he has learnt nothing in more than two decades of adult life and still whines like a teenager is depressing.
Anyway, I am amused by the idea that it is all women’s fault that some silly sod took a typewriting course just as computerised mailmerge made the traditional typist’s role obsolete. Presumably this is all the fault of Ada Lovelace.
Don’t worry about it. Your successor shows every sign of being dead but he never stops banging on about stuff.
OH FUCK OFF TIM.
1. RSA isn’t worth a shit. Never was.
2. I got hired in my job because I am GOOD not because anyone wanted to put anything up anywhere.
3. If you could fuck yourself with this stick of dynamite – and then light, I think we’d all be better off.
OK, there are two candidates for the secretaries job
Candidate A: Attractive young woman in ridiculously short skirt and large bosomy substances.
Candidate B: Some loser with a degree who has no higher career aspirations than being a typist.
On consideration, A gets the job. That is, of course, all due my brainwashing by feminists and not that I’m a dirty old man.
Am I the only one who shags his secretary up the bum every day while he’s bent over the filing cabinet, then? Not that I’m gay, or anything, but I figure that of my secretary’s two statuses in life, “man” and “secretary”, the latter takes precedence and therefore I’m actually required to take advantage of the poor fucker regardless of his sex, in order to keep up British Office Standards in the Workplace.
He graduated, then he learned to type on a real typewriter in order to get a job? That says a hell of a lot about his degree, never mind being able to find a real typewriter in 1990.
Green screen Amstrads. 3 inch discs.
Remember them? I don’t.
I could’ve been a typist; but I didn’t have the tits.
If only the sex discrimination act 1975 had been around in the early 90s.
Was someone calling him ‘lefty’?
On the scrapheapy.
Nah man, you’ve got it all backwards. Teenagers are generally alright, the only racist cunts are the ones who have learnt racist cuntery from their racist cunt dads.
It’s when they start failing their lives and looking for people to take the flack that people turn into proper wankers.
@Kris
I tend to agree with the failure idea, but I’d add that this can start very early on. Just look at Jedward, they’ll be racist wankers by the time they’re 21.
The notion of cultural heritage gets floated every now and then. I think of drowning witches, widespread crime, children in the workhouses and an average life expectancy of 29 when I think of cultural heritage. Oh, and syphillis. Lots of syphillis.
I think I’ve inadvertantly described Nottingham there as well.
It’s not just failure though, it is also two-parts imbecility and three-parts personality disorder.
Cunt can’t get job because he’s a cunt with no people skills, so blames the forrin and the wimmin rather than his own cuntitude. And then goes on to be a rapist, woman-beater and racist cuntflap.
You’re right about inbred racism though. Nick Griffin’s daughter studies at Durham University, which says more about the standards of that place than anything else.
I love Jedward.
Jedward could never be racist, they’re still at the ‘mummy, why is that man a different colour’ stage.
Ahh,yeah, the innocence. I remember asking my mum if the French one out of Tots TV had brain problems because she couldn’t speak properly. Which is about the stage most HYSers seem to have stuck.
If anyone is feeling particularily fool-hardy, check this shit out. The comments are, well, yeah:
http://news.uk.msn.com/world/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=154311672
Knobhead.
by Dizzy
Anal polyp.
by Dizzy
Cunt.
by Dizzy
I don’t get bored of this, you cunt.
Have you finished your dramatic farewell speech yet?
“Although I do not agree with walking through a Shopping Mall inadequately dressed the advice from the Foreign Office with reference to respecting local traditions makes my blood boil, why then do Islamic visitors to this country not respect OUR traditions??? It seems there is one rule for Islam and one rule for us!!”
brilliant. it’s like there’s one law in one country, and another in other countries.
I am Tim’s misused shitehole. I wish he’d stop using me to talk.
This site is better than Redtube!
Hello. My name is Time Nice But Dim.
What I don’t appreciate is that I’m a wet piece of anal hair. I’m not funny or clever, but what I am doing as I waste my time repeatedly posing the same shit over and over again is grinning furiously to myself as I masturbate, even more furiously. You see, I haven’t been touched by a woman in several years… or, actually, ever. That’s largely because I’m incredibly stupid, and have a remarkably offensive personality. I’m also very fat and very ugly. Think Bernard Manning with a peanut allergy. You can see shades of it on here – inbetween my vague racism, I’m actually desperately keen for people to pay me attention. When they do, it encourages me.
It’s very sad that I can’t see how sad this is.
In the office where I work, people tend to say things like, “Oh, you’re a card.” I take that to mean my offensive… entirety… is actually more wanted than it is. So I hang around people’s desks, testing my limits and failing to advance in any way because everyone thinks I’m a massive cunt.
I’m going to die alone. Have you ever seen Grimefighters? You know when they clear out that sad old cunt’s house, and all he’s got in the place is TV dinner plastic trays, porn and vibrators?
That’s me. Tim nice but dim.
Enjoy me. I’m a cunt you don’t have to go looking for.
Did someone just fart?
What a find! I especially love his ‘ecologically sustaintable population’ comment. Bastard forruns, coming over here, breathing up ALL the fresh air and cutting down our trees to build their huts. Come to think of it, it’s probably all those curries that are depleting the ozone layer.
Hi Tim, by the way. I haven’t posted for a while, but I’ve been watching your development into The Uberturd with considerable interest.
Or could it be that the sort of people who consider MSN to be the zenith of mankind’s search for knowledge are mostly braindead cunts like you?
Just a thought!
Dicksplash. Cockhorse. Helmetcheese.
Umm… cuntsponge. Anus.
Okay, if you insist. Braindead dicksplash cunts like you.
Tim slobbered:
Yeah good idea, there’s the door… ——> []
1) wanting to maintain one’s cultural heritage
Which is why I remain the epitome of Neanderthal Man.
2) opposing the undemocratic and expansionist New European Empire
Fucking Homo Sapiens, coming across here with their fucking reasoning and problem solving.
4) opposing immigration scams
I mean, where do they all come from? Fucking Africa, that’s where. We need to do something about that land bridge between here and Europe. Put in some sort of Channel so I can’t go south of it.
3) wanting an ecologically sustainable level of population
What’s so funny? There’s just not enough saber-toothed tigers to go around.
I had that Mitochondrial Eve on the back of my mammoth once.
john,
We all had that Mitochondrial Eve on the backs of our mammoths, she’d shag anything with a spike on it.
“Mammoth” is exaggerating a bit, doncha think Mr Lurk sir.
Oh well, back to all that typewriting.
@Undemocratic Speed Bump
Love those MSN comments. Particularly this one, from the esteemed Chips_H_Manchester:
There is a very good reason why I’m a secratary and not a secretary. The New European Empire suddenly expanded into my cubicle and decreed it should be so.
The comments on that MSN article have made me weep. I’ve never seen so much rapidly racist arsedribble in one place before. If I hear one more ‘when in Rome…’ or ‘try building a church over there’ I’m going to top myself.
I’m tempted to place a full page advert in all the tabloids explaining that THERE ARE FUCKING CHURCHES in Muslim countries and the next person to say there are not will be taken to Dubai and have the spire of one of said churches rammed up their arsehole.
For as it is written in the Bible (the Chips_H_Manchester Version)
“And Jesus spake and sayeth unto the young women, “If thou art comely and desireth to go to the Shopping Mall thou must attire thyself in a boob tube and micro shirt. Other forms of clothing are an abomination unto the Lord for he is in truth a dirty old man who likes to ogle young totty in skimpy clothing.”
And so generations of women wore small shirts rather than skirts due to a typo in the original.
Shucks, HomoSafari worked it out. We’ve been scuppering his career and smuggling Muslims with extra big carbon footprints into his neighbourhood for decades.
We could not have done it without the liberal media (thanks guys)nor his postie who has been burning his polling cards for EU elections.
Still, it is good to know he’s not bitter.
This might be my favourite internet comment of all time. Thanks homosafari.
From the MSN thread:
(I’m going out on a limb and assuming he means Muslims here)
I’m guessing the ‘special treatment’ consists of complaining every time they want to build a mosque, doing everything in your power to try and ban the burkha and hijab, accusing them of taking all our jobs, forcing their own laws on us, turning this country into an Islamic state, filling up our country, polluting our air and hating St. Geroge’s day, Christians and white people.
Bet they feel blessed….
I’m offended by
muslimspeople who cover their faces, apart from Scuba Divers, motorcycle drivers, people wearing full masks, hoods or balaclavas, etc.@Ugeine
Point well made, put under no circumstances do I promote or endorse anybody being *forced* to wear a mask in public for any reason.
Not funny-but this isn’t a clear cut case etc etc etc
Amigas were better than PCs. What is wrong with Broken Britain today, I tells you.
TNBD “see you around losers”. Brilliant: just like the unpopular kid at school when the penny drops that the others are not laughing with him. What a razor-sharp satirist is our Tim.
@yes but:
But how can you tell, by looking, exactly how oppressed an individual Muslim woman is and how voluntary or otherwise her choice of clothing is? And even if her evil husband stands over her with a big stick insisting she wear a niqab, I don’t think a horde of angry and/or preachy white people insisting that she’s oppressed and should therefore not be seen in public like that is going to help at all.
(Even less funny, sorry.)
We are such losers. We should do something productive, like find a group of people who don’t like us and act as smug and unbearable as we possibly can.
I like Tim Nasty But Deluded’s contributions here; it reminds me that there but for a fully working brain go I.
Can we have a law to make good looking blokes wear bags on their heads as being offensive to the physiognomically challenged?
I’d be wearing one myself, obviously.
Right my horns are sharpened and ready to go – just waiting for sunrise…
Never doubted it for a second Mal – stay shiny
What does misandric mean? even i’ve not heard of that one, has the daily mail given away some dictionary toilet paper?
Misandric = Hater of men.
That MSN website isn’t all wrong though, 72% of people are against the Olympics.
w00p.
Farewell, then, Tim Nice But Dim. It’s been thoroughly shit knowing you, and you’ll be sorely unmissed.
I wonder if he’ll still pop in from time to time, like the drunk racist Uncle that somehow gets wind of family gatherings and shows up half cut on sherry, with his busy hands and bad breath?
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this, it’s the word “cockhorse”.
I was bullied by the imported Amiga-using hordes for being a proud owner of the great English (not British) Spectrum, you insensitive clod.
It’s really not an insult though. From wiki :
An adult’s knee? A cock horse is an adult’s knee?
On reflection, Dizzy probably intended to describe TNBD as a horsecock.
Bugrat:
Ride a Cock Horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady on a white hoss.
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
She shall have music whereever she goes.
Ahhhh.
Undemocratic Speedbump:
Oh, you described Grimsby very well indeed…
I could only dream of a Spectrum.
The BBC Micro. Helping spoddy kids feel included since 1981.
Throbbe,
You lucky… We weren’t even allowed to dream of a Spectrum. We had a ZX81 and there wasn’t enough memory to go around.
No, I meant cockhorse. I was just assembling new compound nouns and that was a convenient space to do it.
You know when ever I start thinking that we need to open our borders, give females more rights than men, free and reward criminals. and generally think about becoming a good socialist, I come onto this site, realise your all tossers, and go back to living my life.
Thanks
Cockdonkey
We’re that good.
Without skipping a beat. No offence, mate, but you’re the one wanking when you visit here.
Also, “you’re”.
Sounds like Tim NiceButDim is a fine gentleman whose real name is Lee, but is best known for his stint at Cookd and Bombd comedy forum as “TC Raymond”. The style is similar, and he’s had a few years since I last heard of him to harden up his racist bullshit.