Delusions of Grandeur and Hypocrites and Miscellaneous Prats and Outsiders and Permanently Bewildered and Retired Colonels and Self-appointed Sages and Unfocused Rage18 Aug 2010 07:30 am
By Gainsbourg

You might want to clear your diaries for this morning, because Heidi has sent in this Wagnerian misery cycle from Your Freedom, elegantly composed by a man with an awful lot of time on his sticky hands. He evokes his own train-wreck psyche so vividly you can almost hear him sniffing your chair. He’s a Regular Twat in the making, if he doesn’t cast us all sobbing into endless vortices of despair.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Wight1984.

Your argument is based on this in my view now wholly unjusifed position that women are oppressed.

While this may have been true 100 or more years ago, where is the evidence that they are now?

On the contrary, there’s far more evidence that MEN are repressed.

e.g. the UK pensions age is STILL 65 fo women and only 60 for men.

Ironically as women live several years longer than men on average, many men don’t even make it to 65, so it’s DOUBLY DISCRIMINATING aginst men.

And lookee here, we’ve had FEMINISM for about 100 years and especially in the UK for about 50, but NOTHING IS DONE about this GLARING INEQUALITY.

Women can get a state pension at 60 and men have to wait till they are 65. I wonder why?

Or then we have 100s of soldiers dying in wars or arriving home without the faces they used to have or not as many limbs or in wheelchairs for the rest of their lives, and about 95% to 99% of them are MEN.

Seems to be another INEQUALITY issue that the feminists aren’t talking about.

And then there’s what happens in divorces, with people like Heather Mills waltzing up and taking £25m of their husband’s – in this case Sir Paul McCartney’s – fortune, which it doesn’t appear like they’ve done anything to deserve.

HOw many MEN do we see marrying rich WOMEN and coming away with MILLIONS in divorce settlements?

Let’s even talk simpler everyday things.

Why is it that men on the whole have to ask WOMEN out for dates – and face rejection/humiliation if they are refused?

Why is it that millions of women still think it’s OK not to work and let their husbands bring in the money, like the footballer’s wives?

Whereas if a man did that, he’d be viewed as a total sponger and treated with derision and contempt.

Why is it that if a ship goes down at sea,it will STILL be women and children first into the lifeboats, and if any man caused a woman to die to save himself in such a circumstance, he’d have to live the rest of his life with the title “coward” hung around his neck?

So you are clearly swallowing this LYING feminist propaganda that women are some kind of underclass, when it appears that any OBJECTIVE OBSERVER who came from another planet would fairly soon conclude that it is MEN who are the underclass and women are the rulers of this strangely physically stronger, but yet still mostly enslaved and dominated other gender.

I’m now going to explain to you, what your probable REAL problem is, and who is responsible for it, and IT ISN’T MEN.

Men and women basically have simple underlying goals in life despite all the superficial complexities which muddy the waters, and hide the truth of what is really going on despite all appearances.

i.e. men are seeking a mate to make them feel comforted, respected and loved, and have a SEX partner.

If a particular man can afford it, or is considered a “dominant male” as they say, he may well have SEVERAL such “mates” either sequentially or even at the same time.

Women on the other hand also have A BIOLOGICAL MISSION, which once again is basically to find a mate, but this time with the aim of reproducing.

They want to build a nest and have chicks in it.

They want as nice and as protected a nest as they can get of course, and they also want the most esteemed mate they can find to produce the highest quality offspring and maximum degree of protection.

It makes me laugh to know, that one of the most esteemed (probably THE most esteemed) female author in literary history is Jane Austen who wrote Pride and Prejudice.

And do you know what the first line is (approximately) of that book?

She writes “It is an indisputable fact that a man with a fortune and X thousand acres of land must be in need of a wife.”

Her whole book is basically a treatise on the art of manipulation/seduction of a WEALTHY MAN/MATE desired by a woman, and the goal is to get his worship and for him to beg her hand in marriage.

i.e. the same old BIOLOGICAL MISSION of finding the best quality mate and feathering one’s nest to the optimum degree.

And WOMEN THEMSELVES have rated this in polls as the best novel in history.

So let me explain what this cry of “inequality against women” is really all about.

The feminists – due to their own psychological problems caused by unhappy childhoods – have brainwashed a large proportion of the rest of women into believing that this role of WIFE/MOTHER is some kind of repressed slavery, that has no real importance, significance, when in fact it’s the ONLY thing that really matters in the majority of women’s lives – it is THEIR BIOLOGICAL MISSION.

But finding a mate and having children is also quite a scary mission to carry out, it’s not easy to get the man women really want as Jane Austen explained, men can be very obstinate and relucatnt to commit, and childbirth can be scary, and women then lose their freedom because they have to look after their children, and in most cases then put their own needs in 2nd place.

So it’s very easy for women also to hum and har about it, to ask themselves if that is REALLY what they want to do, and of course the more “intellectual” they are, the more they’ll tend to debate it endlessly, rather than JUST GET ON WITH IT like the lower class, less intellectual women do.

And in that INTERIM, UNDECIDED period, in steps the feminist propagandist, who says that being a wife and mother isn’t the answer, and that a woman should prove she can do anything a man can do: – she should be a nuclear scientist, a poet laureate, a big business chief, an MP or even prime minister, and show actually that women don’t even NEED men, men are nothing really, so they aren’t to be FEARED.

Because women DO fear MEN, just as men even before feminism have lived in fear of women.

Because when another person has WHAT YOU NEED, that gives them POWER OVER YOU.

So in the case of men, they need women as sexual partners – they’ve got this awesome and overpowering biological desire which suddenly just appears TOTALLY UNEXPECTEDLY in their teens – and they also want the SOCIAL EESTEEM of having a girlfriend/wife, or they are considered “losers”.

And then men also have what WOMEN need, which is basically again the ability to give them children via sex,and also to give them esteem, give them a place in society, make them respected by other women, who will enviously look on if they get a “trophy man” like the footballer’s wives do.

Or otherwise the man ends up a sad old bachelor who other men look dubiously at, who clearly “couldn’t get a woman”, or the woman ends up as the “old maid” who no man apparently wanted.

So instead of facing up to the human and animal level biological problem of FINDING A MATE, the feminists divert women, especially young ones, down the avenue of saying MEN ARE THE PROBLEM, that the cause of women’s problem is the behaviour of men, which of course in the sense I’ve explained it is true, just as men’s problem is the behaviour of women.

Because each sex is actually trying to CONTROL the other, in fear of the possiblity that the other gender will use their POWER against them.

So tradiationally men use to congregate in groups, and to some extent still do, and mock women.

Not because they REALLY disrespected them, believed them unequal, but because when you are IN FEAR of somebody, you try to pretend they don’t have the power over you that they actually do.

So all the feminists are doing is basically the same but as regards MEN.

Trying to cut men down to size, humiliate them, so they don’t have to feel AFRAID of them any more.

And naturally because ALL women have got some of this fear, just as all men have some fear of women, lots of young women especially who haven’t yet “got their man” and are in fear of whether they ever will, are easisly persauded to join in the “protest” about the fact that they can’t control men as much as they’d like.

But even worse, by the feminists proposing the solution for the girl/woman who is unhappy about her inability to control the men she desires to, who won’t do what she wants them to do , that they should COMPETE FOR JOBS with men, show they can outdo men in the workplace, they gives a huge problem to a lot of women who DO NOT wish to compete with men or even necessarily enter the workplace at all.

Women in the past were not EXPECTED to be in the workplace, and certainly not in any difficult or responsible job, they were basically just awaiting the day they would marry.

So even if they had some kind of a job as nurse, secretary, teacher or whatever, it was only ever considred to be temporary, except perhaps in older age when their children didn’t need them any more, and they could retake whatever they wanted, for both the money and the feeling of being part of society, involved and contributing in some way.

e.g. many wealthy women who don’t need to work, and probably don’t WANT an ordinary job, because they don’t want to do things they aren’t interested in, or be bossed around, get involved in charity fundraising and so on.

But the problem is that a lot of women are not AMBITIOUS, PUSHY, OUTGOING, they do not WANT to shove their way into “the big bad world” they are NATURALLY reserved, or shy, and there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s party of their natural self-protective instinct.

Getting a job is not just an activity, it’s being forced to interact with A SOCIAL GROUP, with its PECKING ORDER, and few people who work will not be subject to some kind of abuse or even overt bullying.

You are forced to be with people you often don’t like and almost certainly would never choose as friends.

Envy, competition, rivalry, dislike or even outright hate, and all sorts of other ugly emotions, run rife in the average workplace, so it’s a potentially very threatening environment for a woman, especially a more refined, cultured or sensitive one.

And how have the feminists addressed this problem of women?

They have said, if YOU as a woman can’t hack it in the workplace, if you can’t get a job like men do, if all you can do is keep house and feed babies, you are INADEQUATE.

You should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

You are letting down WOMEN, in their “heroic struggle” to get equality with men, you’re letting down all the millions of women who have been abused, repressed and brutalised by men throughout the ages.

And that’s all NONSENSE.

Throughout the ages, the REAL truth is that as now, MOST men have been the servant, slaves and worshippers of women, and the only women who have complained about it are the ones who CAN’T GET A MAN TO SERVE AND WORSHIP THEM.

e.g. we don’t see footballer’s wives attending feminist study groups.

So I don’t know how old you are, but the reality for young women is simple.

There’s nothing wrong with you getting a job if you want one, but bear in mind there’s a man/boy out there, who’s trying to make his way in life, and HE is your potential mate.

He – and I’m in contact with young men who at times let me into their private thoughts – believes that to be worthy of YOU, being YOUR mate, he has to have A GOOD JOB.

And so if YOU take the job that HE NEEDS to be a respected member of his community, and thus to be deemed worthy of marrying (eventually) YOU, then when it comes to the time you want a mate, HE no longer exists for you.

He is getting drunk in a bar somewhere, bemoaing his failure, or maybe even commited sucide after his failure to SUCCEED.

Do you know, yet another “equality” is that between 4 and 6 time as many MEN/BOYS worldwide are committing SUICIDE than women/girls?

So clearly MEN/BOYS are now under some kind of presure that women/girls are not.

And that pressure is to SUCCEED.

Almost ANY woman can find SOME man or other, on her own level of looks/class/intelligence to mate/marry with, and SHE does not need a job.

But for a man, if he doesn’t “get that job” he is NOTHING, society regards him as a failure, a loser, somebody who should go hang his head in shame, and yes, it might well be better for himself and everyone else if he decided to “end it all.”

And that’s no joke – that’s EXACTLY what numerous young men and even older ones rejected by the system are doing, and even if they aren’t going that far, millions have now gone into addiction to prescripton or illegal drugs.

Have you not seen all the endless DEMANDS to legalise cannabis on here?

What’s THAT all about?

And I can guarantee you few or no women are starting those threads, or supporting them, the drug problem – prostitution aside – it is almost entirely a problem affecting MEN.

Women who use drugs – alcohol and tobacoo excepted – are usually only dragged into it if their partner does, and otherwise wouldn’t do so, except for the posh little rich girls who do cocaine and so on, desperatly seeking attention for their unloved and miserable lives.

So THIS is what’s really going on out there: men/boys being destroyed, and feminists smugly laughing at it vengefully out of their hate for everything male, and INNOCENT women/girls in the middle getting conned into believing that the male is their natural enemy who is suppressing them, when actually he is what they most need as a friend, protector and mate.

It’s appalling, and anybody can see this is what is really going on, if they stop looking through the eyes of prejudice and hate, which emotional states are mainly just brought about by FEAR.

AS I’ve said, boys/men are JUST AS AFRAID, or more so, as women/girls are of men.

Life is scary, uncertain for all of us, and demonising and scapegoating the other gender as the feminists are doing, is no way to security for any of us, quite the opposite, causing estrangement, competition and hate, between those beings – men and women, boys and girls – who should be cooperating, supporting, befriending and loving one another.

Like I said, most womem who get assaulted behave in such a way that they effectively bring it on themselves.

You don’t agree that, because you think women should have a freedom in society that is just not realistic, and no SENSIBLE women (you know, most of whom have NEVER been sexually assaulted) agree with YOU.

If you don’t want women to get raped, it’s REALLY EASY.

I’m going to give an even longer list of things women SHOULDN’T DO now, seeing as you have now annoyed me.

1. Don’t go in bars alone or even with just one girlfriend unless you are getting WELL KNOWN taxis to and fro door to door and preferably a relative or friend instead of a taxi.

2. Don’t walk in any public area on your own. You can get away with it in crowded city centres, as long as you stick to the CROWDED areas, avoid quiet streets where you could be dragged into a back alley or whatever without anyone noticing.

(university campuses tends to have a lot of these dodgy little quiet parts, and hence we find a lot of girl students get attacked).

3. Don’t dress in public in any provocative way. Not EVER. When you are married, your body is FOR HIS EYES ONLY.

4. Avoid mixed sex work places, and if you have a choice, don’t work at all, because as soon as you do, if you’re attractive, every male in the workplace will see you as an object of quarry/sexual fantasy.

If their parents can’t, THE STATE should support unmarried girls who need the money with basic benefits, and such girls/women should be entitled to refuse any work or not work at all if they please, as any form of work is a potential threat to their security.

If you must work, pick a female dominated environment like a hospital, typing pool or a girl’s or junior school.

If you expose yourself to public view on a routine basis, you will become an object of fantasy to any male who is able to see you regularly (but if you’re mostly covered up, that won’t happen much even if you are visible in face).

5. Don’t ever go alone on buses or trains if you can avoid it, or certainly not regularly or in any place you are not familiar with.

6. Don’t get drunk and incapable, because you think you can trust your girlfriends, but you may be wrong when they too have had a lot to drink.

7. Don’t have men friends except relatives, foolishly imagining you can have an “only friends” relationship with a boy/man, because any male friend of your own age if he finds you attractive (which you may not realise) will see you as a potential mate, and thus you can’t guarantee he won’t try to make the “friendship” physical sooner or later. It’s that old thing called his BIOLOGICAL MISSION “popping up” again.

8. Don’t tease with or flirt with men ANYWHERE. They’ll imagine you might want to have sex with them, when maybe all you were doing was trying to get served first at the bar, or “being friendly.”

9. Find a mate/marriage partner via one of your relatives or friends, (or some civilised group you can safely be part of like a church or whatever) and don’t EVER agree to go out with a man who you haven’t checked out thoroughly, and you wouldn’t see as long term relationship/marriage material.

10. Don’t go to university or college after 16 and attend a single sex girls’ school before 16, not a dreaded and dangerous comprehensive, full of boys all hoping to sneak a peek at you in the showers or be the first to rob you of your “virtue.”

If you want a degree, go to a girl’s only college or do an Open University degree.

We need to open some WOMEN ONLY universities/colleges for women who want to be doctors or teachers etc., and don’t want to be harrassed at such an early age.

You can stil have a social life amongst family and trusted friends.

Just make sure you are always (when out) part of a LARGE and (adequately sober) GROUP.

There you are – there’s govt helper’s 10 commandments.

If you follow ALL of those, your chances of getting even sexually assaulted, let alone raped, are almost zero.

PS and if you protest at any of those, you think you should have “more freedom”, undestand that boys and men have to be careful of thier movement too, not usually for fear of rape, but for fear or violent assualt, that can happen to men in all kinds of place – e.g. pub toilets – you wouldn’t even dream about, and for very flimsy reasons (e.g. somebody decides “you gave them a dirty look” or “you were ogling my girlfriend/wife”)

So please GROW UP and realise men have got LOADS of problems like women have too, and have to take LOTS of care with their own personal safety, just like women do.

You only have to read the news, and you see that grown men get beaten to death on a fairly regular basis by gangs of one kind or another, usually for some flimsy reason like complaining about the noise they were making or whatever.
govt_helper

I’m assuming govt_helper has recently suffered some rejection/humiliation himself.

And by ‘assuming’, I mean ‘hoping’.

210 Responses to “Razzle For Psychiatrists”

  1. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:31 am Arseington

    Oh. My. God.

    Speechless.

    *hides under table shaking*

  2. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:35 am bingo wing support mechanism

    avoid rape – don’t go to a mixed-sex workplace!
    Silly women, all this time, going to work and getting raped for it. It’s their OWN FAULT.

  3. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:37 am James

    Just…wow. Reading the other comments on there it all seems like some elaborate joke. These people can’t really exist can they?

  4. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:41 am Shrinky pinky

    Awww shucks, just been dumped have you govt_helper? Perfectly natural to be having those rape fantasies though, just come up with rules so that you never, ever get to see a bastard woman ever again.
    Just been fired too by any chance? (Or, perhaps never managed to ever get a job because you’re such a pathetic, deluded, bitter misogynistic cunt?)

    He’s right on one thing though, I am indeed AFRAID.

  5. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:51 am Throbbe

    Jesus H Corbett.

    The really scary thing is that the lack of the usual spelling errors suggest that he’s really thought about this.

    Still, as long as women don’t go anywhere or speak to anyone, they certainly wont be oppressed.

  6. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:58 am Shrinky pinky

    And as for ‘Razzle for Psychiatrists’…. I was so mortified I could barely crack one out after reading that!

  7. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:06 am t'otherone

    Well.

    There I was having a right old giggle at

    a sad old bachelor who other men look dubiously at, who clearly “couldn’t get a woman”

    and who clearly was passed over for promotion at work in favour of a more educated and capable woman, and who has hilarous ideas about drugs

    alcohol and tobacoo excepted

    which are obviously NOT addictive, socailly or physically damaging at all, especially when used by

    a woman, especially a more refined, cultured or sensitive one

    Then I got to the rape advice….

    And now I just want to rip govt_helper’s nads off, shove them up his arse, pull them out again with a butchers hook then stuff the pathetic, shivelled little sacks down his fcuking throat.

    No wonder the fucking cunt fears women.

  8. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:07 am john Adair's Gerbil

    Wall of text!

  9. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:29 am RIPOFF BRITIAN

    TLDR version: govt_helper can’t get laid, most probably jobless, has no friends, will die alone.

    Also, cunt.

  10. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:32 am Omnijam

    “because you think women should have a freedom in society that is just not realistic”

    I think that kind of sums up his attitude to everything, as I couldn’t be bothered to read his repetitive drivel.

    We can all take comfort in the fact that he clearly can’t sustain a relationship, a job or an erection.

  11. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:44 am John

    OMG. Did he cut and paste that from the Taliban manifesto?

  12. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:46 am RIPOFF BRITIAN

    OK I have re-arranged all the capitlised/shouty bits in a sort of improvised avant-garde poetry to recite loudly and angrily at open mic nights down the pub:

    MEN STILL DOUBLY DISCRIMINATING
    FEMINISM, NOTHING IS DONE
    GLARING INEQUALITY
    MEN INEQUALITY MEN
    WOMEN MILLIONS WOMEN
    OK STILL LYING
    OBJECTIVE OBSERVER
    MEN REAL, IT ISN’T MEN
    SEX, SEVERAL BIOLOGICAL MISSION
    WEALTHY MAN/MATE BIOLOGICAL MISSION
    WOMEN THEMSELVES WIFE/MOTHER
    ONLY THEIR BIOLOGICAL MISSION
    REALLY, JUST GET ON WITH IT!

    INTERIM, UNDECIDED
    NEED, FEARED!
    DO MEN WHAT YOU NEED
    POWER OVER YOU!

    TOTALLY UNEXPECTEDLY SOCIAL ESTEEM!

    WOMEN FINDING A MATE
    MEN ARE THE PROBLEM!

    CONTROL, POWER
    REALLY IN FEAR MEN!

    Yes, i’m bored, just fuck off ok?

  13. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:50 am RIPOFF BRITIAN

    Derrida would be proud

  14. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:53 am History Crow

    I’m in contact with young men who at times let me into their private thoughts

    “snigger”

  15. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:59 am Mim

    govt_helper seems to think that his employment status is the reason that women won’t have sex with him. He is wrong.

  16. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:00 am Ire

    Oh god, I feel so stupid. Here was I thinking Pride and Prejudice was an ironic look at the follies of society at its time. Now I realise that, like all works of classic literature, it is an INSTRUCTION MANUAL on HOW TO RUN SOCIETY.

  17. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:08 am Cylux

    I’m in total awe. That screed was the most magnificent announcement of being blessed with a micro-penis that I have ever seen. Also of being a complete meandering toss-ranger.

    I notice his “biological missions” completely omitted gay people from the equation. Where do they fit into his losing battle of the sexes?

    Actually I probably am better off not knowing…

  18. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:18 am Bitforrin

    Wow. I’ve just told my wife about this one. Mainly because I’m hoping that in drawing her attention to his terrifying rant she will think I’m really heroic and noble by comparison and so I will be far more likely to get some of that sex I constantly need thanks to that awesome and overpowering biological desire which suddenly just appeared TOTALLY UNEXPECTEDLY in my teens. THANKS govt_helper!

  19. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:18 am Alex

    After reading those “10 commandments”, and taking a few minutes to recover my mind hamsters which ran and hid to avoid the blunt-force stupid, I feel inclined to steal a link from Alex (Angry Young, Not Me) that might make this whole thing a little more tolerable

  20. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:27 am fish bicycle, anyone?

    I really didn’t have time to read that. But it was such compelling stuff.

    Us womems have been silly, really, tempting teh menz into jumping us. There is nothing further to say about this since I’ve a suspicion some of you lot are boys and so I could be running some sort of gauntlet by interacting with you, even through the medium of the interweb.

    Was it it a posh lady that screwed over govt_helper? Or just an ornery one?

    (The mentalist slam poetry has made me feel a bit better,though, thanks Mr(s)BRITAIN)

  21. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:37 am Loumo

    Kinell. Am now mildly alarmed that the fact that my shirt exposes my forearms may have sent my male colleagues into paroxsyms of uncontrollable lust, despite the fact that I munt (actually, he doesn’t cover that: am I safe if I munt, or do biological spunk imperatives apply to anyone female and not just the fit ones?)

    You know if we followed all those ten rules, and generally kept women out of view and in female-only environments unless accompanied by a male relative, would we not pretty much end up with Saudi Arabia?

    If he likes it so much, why doesn’t he go live there?

  22. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:41 am Roeby

    Was it it a posh lady that screwed over govt_helper?

    Nope, just a successful one (or one more successful than govt_helper which is any woman NOT barefoot, pregnant and locked in a basement 23 hours of the day – for her own safety, naturally).

    I’ll willing to wager my next (moderately successful) wage cheque that he has a teeny fixation with Felicity Kendel though.

  23. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:50 am Ugly Newt

    [Have I been automoderated for being too boring? Trying again without the bingo card links]

    It’s amazing how he sustained that rant for so long. It may be a work-in-progress, to which he adds a few paragraphs every time he notices a woman doing anything other than raising children or begging for his seed. Capitals indicate the times they didn’t just ignore him but threatened to call the police.

  24. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:51 am Throbbe

    biological spunk imperatives

    I saw them support Extreme Noise Terror in some pub in Ipswich in the late 80′s. Didn’t realise anyone else had heard of them.

  25. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:54 am Loumo

    @Throbbe:
    Straight after I’d typed it I realised what a great band name it’d make. I was going to bagsy it and use it, but I’m guessing mainstream radio airplay’d be hard to come by.

  26. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:55 am Fuzzball

    Every time one of those nasty wimmins annoys him, he writes down his feelings on a piece of paper and stuffs it in a little box marked ‘HATE!!!’. When the box is full, it erupts like the Old Faithful of mysoginist shite, spattering his ramblings all over the web.

  27. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:56 am Ayatollah Khameni

    Makes sense to me. What’s the problem? Take out the booze ‘n’ fags and sounds like a perfectly well written piece of advice for all women.

  28. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:56 am Kirsten

    Well, that’s made me totally rethink my life.

  29. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:04 am Undemocratic Speed Bump

    It’s utterly wonderful that the very first fact govt_helper mentions concerning the pension age, he gets the wrong way round.

    tttwwwaaaattt

  30. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:07 am Ryan

    So after all that, govt_helper still believes that the reason he is regularly beaten to a pulp up by other men is

    some flimsy reason like complaining about the noise they were making or whatever.

    and not because he talks utter shite. Or because he appears to be spending a lot of his free time in pub toilets.

  31. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:18 am Huge Firmly-Wankingsock

    I think if the only THING you ever READ the Sun News PAPER then it seems perfectly NATURAL to randomly highlight WORDS mid sentence.

    Also who the tits works in a typing pool, its 2010 people wake up!!!

  32. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:19 am Ceannair

    Why did I read the rest of his posts ????

    If you are very attractive, when you’re out and about, do everything in your power to disguise it, wear your hair in a bun or covered at the neck, plain lensed glasses, flat heels, no makeup, nor painted toes or finger nails or jewellery, and dowdy boring clothes that don’t cling to any curves or show your legs, and once again, the unwanted attention you’ll get from men will be practically zero.

    Burkha anyone ????

  33. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:20 am Think of it

    I want to know the name of the sinking ship that he shoved women and children off to get on that lifeboat.

  34. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:24 am Undemocratic Speed Bump

    @Think of it

    Considering his opinion on the role of the sexes, I’d say it was the Mary Rose

  35. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:27 am christonabike

    “Breathtaking” The Daily Mail

    “His Magnum Opus” Telegraph

    “Will make you believe the men can gestate foetuses” Western Morning News

    “*****” Misogynist Cunt Magazine

  36. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:31 am Think of it

    “If you have to read one govt_helper rant this year, they literally don’t get any better than this”
    - Time Out

  37. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:33 am ForcedMarriageAdvocate

    What are you all on about? The guy’s right.

    Only kidding. He’s a total cunt. He should enjoy the irony of that. And… wow! Not only does he believe that shit, but he has plenty of time to put his thesis together on it.

    Hos mother must be so proud. And by proud, I mean cursing the uterus that gestated the twat. See? Woman’s fault.

  38. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:37 am Bugrat

    govt_helper has surely been channeling Prince Buster’s Ten Commandments (From Man to Woman):-

    These are the ten commandments from man
    Given to woman
    Through the inspiration of I, Prince Buster

    One,
    Thou shall have no other man but me

    Two,
    Though shall not encourage no man to make love to you
    Neither kiss or caress you
    For I am your man, a very jealous man
    And is ready to lay low any other man who may intrude on our love

    Three,
    Remember to kiss and caress me
    Honor and obey me, in my every whim and fancy
    Seven days a week and twice on Sundays
    Because at no time will I ever be tired 0f I-T “it”

    etc, etc.

    At least you could dance and have a laugh to Buster’s version.

    http://www.lyricsmania.com/10_commandments_lyrics_prince_buster.html

  39. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:52 am Bugrat

    At least you could dance and have a laugh to Buster’s version.

    ..and here’s a Youtube link..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZGjLpxT4W0

  40. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:53 am Steak

    I kept scrolling down thinking, it has to end soon. It must. But it just kept going and going and going.

  41. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:57 am Kris

    A christian of my acquintance once said to me that although he thought women’s natural place was in servitude of her husband, he wasn’t afraid of feminism because if it came to an actual fight between genders for control, men would win.

    I still haven’t thought of a response to that.

  42. on 18 Aug 2010 at 12:05 pm Ceannair

    A christian of my acquintance once said to me that although he thought women’s natural place was in servitude of her husband, he wasn’t afraid of feminism because if it came to an actual fight between genders for control, men would win.

    I still haven’t thought of a response to that.

    I find that saying you can be kicked in the lady garden and survive unscathed, kick in the nads stings like fuck. So I’m told.

  43. on 18 Aug 2010 at 12:22 pm Arseington

    Well, I have recovered, and really should have waited for all your responses, then read them.

    I’m still disturbed about him being inside boys minds. Does he scout kids chat rooms posing as a 13 year old girl?

  44. on 18 Aug 2010 at 12:24 pm Ugly Newt

    [...] he wasn’t afraid of feminism because if it came to an actual
    fight between genders for control, men would win.

    I still haven’t thought of a response to that.

    I find that saying you can be kicked in the lady garden and
    survive unscathed, kick in the nads stings like fuck. So I’m
    told.

    Sod the “saying” part, and demonstrate by kicking him in the nads
    immediately. The only drawback is that it’d fuel the delusions of
    people like govt_whiner that women have it easier.

  45. on 18 Aug 2010 at 12:32 pm TrumpsCombOver

    Jesus titty-fucking christ, I tried to read all of that arse bilge, I really did.

    Someone get govt_helper a subscription to match.com quick. He might shut the fuck up if he finds an equally whiny ranty partner.

  46. on 18 Aug 2010 at 12:42 pm Opressed and Proud

    “Why is it that millions of women still think it’s OK not to work and let their husbands bring in the money, like the footballer’s wives?”

    Probably coz she had a job once but forgot to wear her chastity belt on dress down Friday and ended up being gangbanged by the I.T. department.

    It’s always happening at our place.

  47. on 18 Aug 2010 at 12:57 pm Oaf

    I kept scrolling down thinking, it has to end soon. It must. But it just kept going and going and going.

    I think it’s still going………….

  48. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:02 pm Otter Bollocks

    Is govt_helper the guy from Game On. Doesn’t leave the house, doesn’t have a partner, is generally mysogynistic?

    I was going to say “been dumped again eh govt?” but then realised he’s perma-single

  49. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:03 pm Ceannair

    There used to be an old joke that at the end of time when the sun finally burned out, all that would be left was cockroaches and Cher.

    That fucking post will be there too.

    If I’m right.

    Think of it.

    And yet.

  50. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:06 pm Goldstein

    seeing as you have now annoyed me.

    Did anybody else spot this bit? I think it takes real insight to realise in advance that his readers will be laughing at him and get all worked up about it before he’s finished what he’s writing.

  51. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:07 pm Kris

    I find that saying you can be kicked in the lady garden and survive unscathed, kick in the nads stings like fuck. So I’m told.

    Not exactly stings. More like the feeling of taking a grenade to the stomach. I am only exaggerating slightly.

  52. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:11 pm Kris

    Sod the “saying” part, and demonstrate by kicking him in the nads
    immediately.

    I would have, but for the fear of reciprocation.

  53. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:32 pm TheViolentMajority

    What is it with mentals and RANDOM CAPITALISATION?

    His magnum opus is just boring and idiotic until he gets to the “Usbourne Guide to Avoiding Being Raped” section. Only at that point does he swing into genuinely terrifying.

    I work in a big office full of ladiewimmins and I haven’t raped any of them yet. Plus I managed to avoid forcing myself on ladiewimmins on the No 73 this morning, even though some of them were unchaperoned and had short sleeve tops.

    I think I should get some sort of community award.

  54. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:38 pm chip pan fire

    I was quite excited to learn that I had a BIOLOGICAL! MISSION! to have chicks in a nest (something of a genetic breakthrough might be needed first, I think), but then I carried on reading, and have gnawed my hands off in despair.
    (I type this with the bloody stumps that remain.)

  55. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:40 pm Yossarian

    I think I can provide a fairly succinct response to govt_helper’s woes:-

    Men have willy’s and like, on the whole, to put them into ladies.

    As long as that is the case women can do whatever the hell they like!

  56. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:41 pm ad ho

    @RIPOFF BRITIAN
    Nice work on the text. Dunno about Derrida, but Jenny Holtzer would be proud.

    I somehow summoned the strength to click through to yourfreedom. It turns out that this was one of the many long comments he has made to defend his own proposal. Seriously, there’s yards of the shite.

    Anyway, his submission has been tagged as follows:

    * misogynist
    * equality
    * human rights
    * mens rights
    * justice
    * misandrist
    * dimwitted
    * bigot
    * sexist
    * freedom
    * nutter
    * hysterical
    * rant
    * notrepeal
    * streuth
    * antifeminist
    * sick
    * healthy relationships
    * oedipus complex
    * unloved children
    * mummydidntloveme
    * destinedtodiealone
    * heroic freedomfighter
    * sensible

  57. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:46 pm Ceannair

    Partially chewed rice cake/screen meeting there, thanks!

  58. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:46 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    @ad ho

    Looking at some of those tags, my faith in humanity has risen.

    Not a lot, but a bit.

  59. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:49 pm ad ho

    A snippet from one of his other comments, in reply to someone who suggested he’s insensitive.

    If either you or Scottishstudent got raped – of which there is NO EVIDENCE/PROOF that you can give to anyone here – and scottishstudent never SAID she got raped, just “sexually assaulted” and neither did she say she IS 16 as you claimed, but that she WAS 16 when this allegedly happened, so we don’t know how long ago that was – then I’m sorry for both of you, but this is a GOVERNMENT DEBATING SITE, not a counselling service, so this is NOT THE PLACE for personal confessions of a highly emotive nature, and if you or she want/need sympathy/counselling, you should look elsewhere.

    1. Oh, the irony.
    2. All that writing-therapy and still a cunt.

  60. on 18 Aug 2010 at 1:57 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    From his other suggestions, I reckon he’s been done for drunk driving, got thrown out of uni for sexual harrassment and failing his degree in Post Modern Angst-Wankery, and he’s been TASER’d for being, just being, I think.

    8 days from joining (to get away from the OPRESSIVE HAVE YOUR SAY) to flouncing out (FROM THE OPRESSIVE GOVERNMENT ANTI-DAILY MAIL READERS) and two weeks after the flounce, he’s still posting.

    A Womble’s Cockwomble.

  61. on 18 Aug 2010 at 2:07 pm NiceObedientWife

    Well fuck me sideways. If you’re my husband, obviously.

    I’ve just spent far too long reading through some of his comments on that suggestion and now I’m scrabbling for the eye bleach.

    Just wow.

  62. on 18 Aug 2010 at 2:09 pm Female

    Ive been out binge drinking all night!

  63. on 18 Aug 2010 at 2:25 pm Mouse

    My god, I think I am one of these women he hates, how do I live with myself? I have a successful career and earn more money than my partner, I am university educated where he is not and am currently in my early 30s and 6 months pregnant with our first child.

    Clearly I didn’t get any of those things because I worked hard for them or I deserve them, I got them because some men along the way were ‘repressed’. I don’t remember repressing anyone, but then I wouldn’t, would I govt_helper? If I’m right.

    What I should have done, and I now understand thanks to govt_helper’s kind advice, is to just “JUST GET ON WITH IT like the lower class, less intellectual women do”.

    I’m off now to feather my nest for my SEX partner to live in while I consider the error of my ways and hope that nobody in my office rapes me.

    What a colossal cougar’s colostomy bag!!

  64. on 18 Aug 2010 at 2:39 pm Misogynist Pig who ate a Metrosexual

    So tell me all, where did you get to before you couldn’t take any more of that drivel? I got to BIOLOGICAL MISSION and stopped.

  65. on 18 Aug 2010 at 2:51 pm random punter

    I’m exhausted after reading that – all that vitriol with barely a word on religion or race and no word at all on teh gayz. Ergo facto, an Asian muslim in denial. Not that I’m wishing to come across as anything-phobic or whatever. I’m just trying to summarise govt_helper’s id in less than two and a half thousand words. Sorted.

    I’ve taken a copy of this tract and sent it to Mrs punter and the first-born. Neither of them has ever been raped (praise be unto whoever), but having absorbed these words of wisdom, I wish them to understand that it is clearly down to luck rather than good judgement.

    The rest of his oeuvre is a fucking goldmine as well. I wonder if he has an agent? He’d go down a storm on the lecture-circuit – there’s definitely a gap in the market which could be exploited here.

    P.S. Props to whoever tagged him as a badgersclunge!

  66. on 18 Aug 2010 at 3:07 pm Jeff

    @random punter

    You’re as bad as govt_helper, with the automatic implication that he is of the most persecuted minority group in Britain, when it’s more than likely that it is a white “indigenous” man with all the opportunities afforded to him in the past… women included… he just failed on all counts.

  67. on 18 Aug 2010 at 3:23 pm Sheepless

    I would have, but for the fear of reciprocation.

    Nah, wouldn’t happen. Christians are supposed to turn the other nad.

    Sooo… I take it that this yourfreedom site is as much a raging success (and by ‘success’ I mean ‘pit of howling stupid’) as the old Number 10 petition site? Eeeexcellent.

  68. on 18 Aug 2010 at 3:28 pm MindlessWomb

    I think at school I went to a “lecture” by this guy once. I was the only female in the room and was about 15 at the time. He directed the whole thing at me, presuamably so I wouldn’t grow up to opress men.
    I stupidly tried to argue with him in the questions bit at the end and he shouted at me until a teacher had to ask him to stop.
    Either that or there’s 2 of them which just doesn’t bear thinking about.

  69. on 18 Aug 2010 at 3:43 pm random punter

    Jeff

    @random punter

    You’re as bad as govt_helper…

    Yeah, I know what you mean. But whereas he’s an all-round cunt, bitter and lonely, with nothing better to do than spew his onanistic logorrhea into the ether in the hope that someone – anyone – will care, I’m just a middle-class, middle-aged, smug cunt who doesn’t give a toss whether anyone cares or not.

    That’s why I post on here and he posts on there.

  70. on 18 Aug 2010 at 3:55 pm eleanora_

    @Kris – I think your Christian acquaintance is now my team leader at work. It has to be so, otherwise there are two of them, which doesn’t bear thinking about really…

  71. on 18 Aug 2010 at 4:01 pm Ugly Newt

    For anyone who devoured that initial marathon over their morning cuppa and is in need of more, the comments keep on giving. Here’s what happens when someone naively tries to engage him in debate – he must have spent *years* practising these derailing skills:

    govt_helper,

    Probably the first thing I should say is that, despite your assumption, I
    am a man,

    We’ve only got your word for that, and even if it’s true it’s irrelevant.

    You are a FEMINIST THINKER.

    Some of the very WORST feminists/feminist supporters are men.

    He’s right, you know. I’m a man and I suck at feminism.

  72. on 18 Aug 2010 at 4:03 pm Kris

    I think your Christian acquaintance is now my team leader at work. It has to be so, otherwise there are two of them, which doesn’t bear thinking about really…

    Two christians? I think you’re in for a bit of a shock.

  73. on 18 Aug 2010 at 4:12 pm Rogue_Leader

    Jane Austen who wrote Pride and Prejudice.

    Well at least it’s educational.

  74. on 18 Aug 2010 at 4:49 pm Think of it

    @Rogue_Leader

    And do you know what the first line is (approximately) of that book?

    She writes “It is an indisputable fact that a man with a fortune and X thousand acres of land must be in need of a wife.”

    Approximately educational.

  75. on 18 Aug 2010 at 4:54 pm Richard0

    Wow…i think i’ve managed to read in full all the ramblings posted on here but i just couldn’t bring myself to get to the end of that.

  76. on 18 Aug 2010 at 4:57 pm tw@basket.com

    So tell me all, where did you get to before you couldn’t take any more of that drivel?

    I just saw how much of it there was and thought: “Stuff that! I haven’t got time for this shit. I’ve got baskets to sell*. I’ll let everybody else pick out the choice bits and read their comments.”

    After all, this is what SYB is for. I read SYB so I can keep abreast of the latest innovations in contemporary fuckwittery without having to trawl through HYS and the like myself.

    * – Theoretically anyway. Nobody ever buys any.

  77. on 18 Aug 2010 at 5:17 pm Schroduck

    Why is it that millions of women still think it’s OK not to work and let their husbands bring in the money, like the footballer’s wives?

    Avoid mixed sex work places, and if you have a choice, don’t work at all, because as soon as you do, if you’re attractive, every male in the workplace will see you as an object of quarry/sexual fantasy.

    I put it to you that govt_helper is not just a cunt, but an idiotic hypocritical cunt.

  78. on 18 Aug 2010 at 5:40 pm Ugly Newt

    I put it to you that govt_helper is not just a cunt, but an
    idiotic hypocritical cunt.

    He’s quite something, isn’t he? Feminists often have to
    deal with lots of different groups of men giving opposing
    advice on how they’re Doing It Wrong, eg. work for a
    living/look after the kids, you’ve got your equality
    now/know your place, dress to avoid rape/dress to catch a
    man.

    and yet.

    This halibut’s happy-horn manages to make all of those
    contradictory statements in a single post.

  79. on 18 Aug 2010 at 5:43 pm tw@basket.com

    I put it to you that govt_helper is not just a cunt, but an idiotic hypocritical cunt.

    Actually, there is a simple, neat solution to reconcile these claims without any hypocrisy. However, I don’t think that govt_helper is going to like it very much:

    What govt_helper seems to be suggesting, without realising it, is that women should form their own companies employing exclusively female staff at all staffing levels and with all-female workplaces. Denying employment to suitably qualified men on the assumption they can not be trusted to keep their trousers on in a mixed workplace.

    While the element of hypocrisy can possibly be avoided in this way, I fear the idiotic and cuntish aspects remain and are unavoidable in his case.

  80. on 18 Aug 2010 at 6:02 pm Farley's rusk

    That post has really made me question one thing. Is it better to commit suicide or murder?

  81. on 18 Aug 2010 at 6:19 pm Puppy Sandwich

    You heard it here first, ladies; don’t use the bus or the train or you will be raped. In fact, if you travel on the Circle line that’s actually part of the service.

  82. on 18 Aug 2010 at 6:25 pm Headache

    I gave up after he finished bashing Jane Austin for inventing gold digging. Makes me glad that there are so many “I don’t care” comments of HYS.

  83. on 18 Aug 2010 at 6:38 pm Simon

    Surely HYS editors let these comments through as a joke? Surely?

  84. on 18 Aug 2010 at 6:43 pm Theodore

    John H Cunt!

    What a fucking arsecandle.

  85. on 18 Aug 2010 at 6:44 pm Martha Marsupial

    I’m confused now. Was govt_helper jilted by a footballer’s wife, or did he just fantasise over one who doesn’t even know he exists?

  86. on 18 Aug 2010 at 6:57 pm Cylux

    After reading through a few more bits of his long-winded turgid shite I had a quiet realisation.

    He’s posting on a government website, the purpose of which is to collect suggestions for which laws and regulations to abolish, and he actually managed to restrain himself from just out and out calling for rape laws to be abolished.

    Upon realising this surprising display of altruism I had to change my mind on forcibly inserting 110 knifes up his poop-flute. I’ll only use 109 now, with a kick to the nuts.

  87. on 18 Aug 2010 at 6:59 pm Adam

    @Kris

    I think a good reply to your ‘Christian’ friend would have been that the majority of men who could actually GET laid would have no interest in a physical war between the genders, and would instead devote themselves to battering misogynist fucks like him and, indeed, Mr Helper himself. Preferably in a pub toilet so they can do to them what Clive Owen does to Benico Del Toro in Sin City.

    If I’m right.

  88. on 18 Aug 2010 at 7:00 pm Julie

    You do know, don’t you, that the line from Austen was written as sarcasm? The speaking character, Lizzie, was mocking her mother in the moment for her attitude toward a gentleman of well-means who had moved in nearby?

  89. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:20 pm bolli

    I had to stop just after his inability to understand indirect free speech as a narrative voice or the literary humour of Jane Austen.
    I had to have a very strong cup of tea and several biscuits to finish it just now.
    Side-stepping all the rancid, festering goat smegma he churns out, i am drawn to the idea that my male colleagues will view me as “quarry”. I’ve done a quick poll of our office and it is agreed that if I were an open-pit mine of valuable minerals, they would definitely consider raping me more.

  90. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:22 pm eleanora_

    @Kris – oh har de har har. Anyway I’ve got to face the little twunt tomorrow when I head into my workplace once more, to dodge all the mens who want to fulfil A BIOLOGICAL MISSION!!1 by doing a surprise sex on me.

  91. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:24 pm Sheepless

    You do know, don’t you, that the line from Austen was written as sarcasm? The speaking character, Lizzie, was mocking her mother in the moment for her attitude toward a gentleman of well-means who had moved in nearby?

    I think a reader would have to be particularly obtuse not to pick up on that. But our manly friend saw what he wanted to see.

  92. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:45 pm bambilly

    It’s nice to know I can opt out of rape by putting away my eyeliner.

  93. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:47 pm Blahb

    What complete cunts moaning about equality, after all the fact men are more likely to die earlier, be attacke, suffer domestic abuse, be unemployed and discrimination, dont they realise that this is perfectly acceptable? course has it not occured to you lot these guys may have been abused by females as kids. after all its an acceptable excuse for females to make moronic comments about men, why not vice versa?

  94. on 18 Aug 2010 at 8:59 pm Cylux

    course has it not occured to you lot these guys may have been abused by females as kids.

    The foresight of these particular women deserves a medal I think.

  95. on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:08 pm eleanora_

    @Blahb – you are a cormorant’s crusty codpiece.

  96. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:19 pm Kris

    Is being abused by men an accepted reason for hating them? I’m fairly certain it’s not.

  97. on 18 Aug 2010 at 10:32 pm Southern Ponce

    Blahb has at least managed to condense his misogynist cuntery into a (terribly written) paragraph. I hope people like govt_helper are taking notes; perhaps one day we can just read someone saying “I’m a terrible, lonely bison’s box and I hate women” rather than the endless blocks of nauseating text we’re usually faced with.

  98. on 18 Aug 2010 at 11:57 pm funny peculiar

    3,369 words! I seem to remember a 2,000 word assignment at Uni was a fairly big do and a 5,000 was a fucker. This guy labours his twisted guts out for 3,369 words and how does he end his opus? What firework does he save for the final explosion of this incredible display? His sign-off, his slam-dunk, his irrefutable conclusion is…

    usually for some flimsy reason like complaining about the noise they were making or whatever.
    govt_helper

    pure, pure, pure class. The Pathos! Oh The PATHOS… I surely die, it is too too much. *siiiigh*

    Chapter 38
    Reader, I married him, and, well… that’s it really. Must go, the shops shut in half an hour.


  99. [...] truly EPIC spEak You're bRanes this morning: http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2010/08/18/razzle-for-psychiatrists/ [...]

  100. on 19 Aug 2010 at 12:34 am Obamooslim

    After my usual morning latte and clusterboning of the hot new office ladytemp, I was delighted to come across (heh) this hitherto unattained level of clungewomblery.

    He needs a hug.

  101. on 19 Aug 2010 at 2:43 am Ed aka Voltaire

    He needs a hug.

    A violent, surprise hug.

  102. on 19 Aug 2010 at 7:57 am yashin

    its all just words.

  103. on 19 Aug 2010 at 9:32 am Burch

    Having trouble believing that’s not an elaborate piece of satire.

  104. on 19 Aug 2010 at 9:44 am Bill The Lizard

    I think this – comparatively restrained – passage sums up his problem:

    Like some kind of deadly virus, the feminists are infiltrating everywhere, trying to get every position of power they can, so they can oppress men, and so THERE Is your reason why we’ve got no MINISTER FOR MEN, because the feminists in high places are constantly arguing against anay such thing happening.

    Somebody’s out to get him. It’s women today but next week he might decide it’s Communists. Or pastry-cooks. Totally random paranoia.

  105. on 19 Aug 2010 at 10:07 am Undemocratic Speed Bump

    Now now, who tagged that splurge as ‘Kadir Buxton’? Mr. Kadir-Buxton is a pleasurer of women who once bitch-slapped the Queen Mother just to make her feel better.

    govt_helper in comparison, well. Reading this drivel makes the Raoul Moat tapes sound like an unabridged version of The Princess Diaries, read by Stephen Fry.

  106. on 19 Aug 2010 at 10:12 am strangelyquiet

    Party = booze = raped Jenny in the TYPING POOL who had a restraining order against him:

    “If we bring ALCOHOL into the equation, the figure rises to probably 50% to 75% of men might lose control, depending on the situation (e.g. at an office party, where they’ve been fantasising about a work mate for months/years and forbidden to ever touch her”

  107. on 19 Aug 2010 at 10:27 am Kris

    Oh. It seems this paranoid hatred of feminists is actually an elaborate ruse to try and make his daily rape fantasies / previous rape convictions more acceptable. How deeply disturbing.

  108. on 19 Aug 2010 at 10:38 am ad ho

    @usb

    Now now, who tagged that splurge as ‘Kadir Buxton’?

    Wasn’t me, but the phrase this looks like a job for.. comes to mind. A good ‘methoding might sort govt_helper out.

  109. on 19 Aug 2010 at 10:52 am Ceannair

    Reading this drivel makes the Raoul Moat tapes sound like an unabridged version of The Princess Diaries, read by Stephen Fry.

    I’d buy that!

  110. on 19 Aug 2010 at 11:47 am Mary

    In other news, has anybody picked up on the poet Elizabethan on HYS? Wondrous stuff.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/profile.shtml?userid=14540042

  111. on 19 Aug 2010 at 12:26 pm Wabsnasm

    @Mary

    I do wish you hadn’t posted that link – I doth think I may nowest be addicted

    As for govt_helper…why has he ruined my day and made me feel like a rapist? Cuntpole!

  112. on 19 Aug 2010 at 12:45 pm Kris

    @Mary

    Holy shit, he’s even got most of it in iambic pentameter!

  113. on 19 Aug 2010 at 1:28 pm passerby otter bollock

    When you consider it, govt_helper has only one flaw: he sat there and typed all that shite out while, with so much time, he could’ve bathed, shaved, developed social skills etc. It’s a shame.

  114. on 19 Aug 2010 at 1:44 pm Ugly Newt

    I said/meant the PRIMARY, OVERRIDING goal of 95% plus of men
    is to have sex with one or more women, and that of women to
    have children to one or more men.

    Damn – he’ll still maintain that he’s only fulfilling his PRIMARY, OVERRIDING
    goal even after he’s been kicked in the nads until infertile.

    people are getting very sly, cunning and DISHONEST about how
    they go about satisfying their biological mission, or on the
    other hand, how they try to excuse themselves and rescue
    their self-image when they have blatantly failed to carry it
    out.

    We’ll have to suffocate him with a condom instead. He can be safe in the
    knowledge that a women will have DISHONESTly pricked several holes in it to
    better her chances of fulfilling her destiny.

  115. on 19 Aug 2010 at 1:54 pm Chal

    ahhh, what a lovely example of a fuckwad in its natural habitat.

    If you follow ALL of those, your chances of getting even sexually assaulted, let alone raped, are almost zero.

    Someone forgot to tell this shittystick that most women are raped by men that they know not some random bod off the street. Dickhead.

    N

  116. on 19 Aug 2010 at 2:22 pm Crikey

    2. Don’t walk in any public area on your own. You can get away with it in crowded city centres, as long as you stick to the CROWDED areas, avoid quiet streets where you could be dragged into a back alley or whatever without anyone noticing.

    Sounds to me like the chap is sending out a warning to potential victims. Because the muppets who haven’t read his instructions are fair game by the sounds of it.

  117. on 19 Aug 2010 at 2:39 pm Ugly Buffy

    Ah, but if you follow his helpful tips, you wouldn’t know any men so they wouldn’t be able to rape you!

    … why am I defending his line of reasoning? I hate myself.

  118. on 19 Aug 2010 at 3:19 pm Throbbe

    Good grief. I rather wish I hadn’t read more of his clangerjizz (I’m trying for my own cockwomble).

    Most of the HYS mentals were funny, in a pathetic way, then came Neil, and I felt a bit bad about laughing because I suspected he needed help, then Andy K-B left me slack jawed, but I actually want to hurt govt helper. That makes me sad.

  119. on 19 Aug 2010 at 3:25 pm timac

    Sigh.

    He has a point though.

    Not with the rape advice bollocks or that drivel against femenists but with the kernel of truth about the constant struggle against our ids.

    I’ve always found it best to put this “must find a mate/must reproduce” and the whole power play between the sexes stuff out of mind. It’s all a bit depressing

  120. on 19 Aug 2010 at 3:28 pm Souperman

    Elizabethan is so very much a serial killer waiting to happen.

  121. on 19 Aug 2010 at 3:37 pm Angry woman

    IS this guy Muslim?

  122. on 19 Aug 2010 at 3:55 pm Albert Angelo

    Elizabethan desperately wants to be Alexander Pope.

  123. on 19 Aug 2010 at 3:58 pm Ugly Newt

    IS this guy Muslim?

    As he’s complaining about equal opportunities, probably not; he’d answer “Christian” if asked, but doesn’t actually observe it beyond not working on Sundays.

  124. on 19 Aug 2010 at 4:01 pm Cat

    Wait. Typing pool? Really?

  125. on 19 Aug 2010 at 5:07 pm Undemocratic Speed Bump

    t 3:18pm on 19 Aug 2010, ian cheese wrote:

    One has to be brutally honest & ask whether the record level of distinctions simply mean that ‘A’ levels have been devalued in terms of excellence. I gave up teaching 25 years’ ago when & because the new generation came on to the teaching profession & could not string a sentence together nor spell & thought a world of themselves. They are not the salt of the earth if they know no Latin & less Greek

    Sorry, govt-helper was getting me down, and everyone loves a bit o’ cheese

  126. on 19 Aug 2010 at 5:12 pm Slim Jim

    Blah

  127. on 19 Aug 2010 at 5:17 pm Fawn

    Well, he’s got one thing right; men certainly do have their problems.

    Bet we could find his somewhere in the DSM IV manual.

  128. on 19 Aug 2010 at 5:34 pm Bible-Marriage-Today

    Christian Husband: How To Attract Him Quicker And Make Him Beg You For Marriage Fast! (3)…

    I found your entry interesting thus I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)

  129. on 19 Aug 2010 at 5:47 pm Ugly Newt

    @Bible-Marriage-Today

    Looks like all that talk of biological missions and archaic gender roles attracted the religiously-motivated spambots.

    But what you may not know is that your magnified status
    will give even the most confident brother a few strokes

    Snerk.

  130. on 19 Aug 2010 at 6:09 pm tw@basket.com

    Bible-Marriage-Today

    While Christians tend to love the Bible and take it far more seriously than the rest of us, as far as I am aware, very few of them actually want to marry it.

  131. on 19 Aug 2010 at 6:16 pm MGJ

    re Ian Cheese; does he think that all sporting records are being broken these days by cheats shortening the 100m track, or could it be that modern training/teaching methods, better diet etc all contribute to better performance?

    If I’m right

    (I’ve always wanted to say that)

  132. on 19 Aug 2010 at 7:03 pm Cylux

    Ian Cheese:

    I gave up teaching 25 years’ ago when & because the new generation came on to the teaching profession & could not string a sentence together

    What a fantastic chozzler. Comedy gold through and through.

  133. on 19 Aug 2010 at 7:06 pm Cylux

    Actually I’m now terrified that 25 years ago Ian Cheese had been teaching. I wonder how many of his former students are now HYS regulars?

  134. on 19 Aug 2010 at 7:26 pm new scientist

    Well you’d remember a name like ‘Mr Cheese’, wouldn’t you? Bet he really quit because the kids all called him ‘Stinky Stilton’.

  135. on 19 Aug 2010 at 7:51 pm random punter

    Mary

    In other news, has anybody picked up on the poet Elizabethan on HYS? Wondrous stuff.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/profile.shtml?userid=14540042

    “When faceless we believeth we art free,”

    I got as far as that, Mary, and gave up. I believe it should be “we are free” and my attraction to iambic pentameter was subdued by my disappointment at this cod Elizabethan mélange.

    Talking of cod, Elizabethan is a tub of rancid roe.

  136. on 19 Aug 2010 at 8:24 pm Gainsbourg

    ‘Weblog’, bless

  137. on 19 Aug 2010 at 9:11 pm Sean

    I think we should club together and have a whipround for this guy to score with a very tolerant prostitute before he completely loses it and goes down Whitechapel with a surgeon’s toolkit

  138. on 19 Aug 2010 at 9:33 pm Just passing

    I think a reader would have to be particularly obtuse not to pick up on that. But our manly friend saw what he wanted to see.

    He hasn’t read Pride and Prejudice. He’s just heard the quote at some point and hijacked it.

  139. on 19 Aug 2010 at 9:40 pm bolli

    Sean,
    that is a brilliant plan with only the one teenytiny flaw in that hiring him a prostitute would somewhat reinforce his mysogenist agenda that women are commodity.
    /red biro

  140. on 19 Aug 2010 at 10:20 pm Mal

    Well you’d remember a name like ‘Mr Cheese’, wouldn’t you? Bet he really quit because the kids all called him ‘Stinky Stilton’.

    He never did work out why his fellow teachers always called him ‘Dick’ though.

  141. on 19 Aug 2010 at 11:01 pm KJB

    when the new generation came on to the teaching profession

    Sounds like Ian Cheese quit teaching for reasons that would draw govt_helper in…

  142. on 19 Aug 2010 at 11:58 pm Kris

    Explanation; Mr Dick-Cheese worked in a primary school for one year. When the next group of kids turned up in September and he realised he would have to go through the whole process of teaching them to read and write again, he just gave up.
    Not to mention that they barely knew any latin.

  143. on 20 Aug 2010 at 12:08 am DJ

    Wow – this is truly enlightening stuff!

    No word of a lie but, the regular Friday night raping-excursion has not been bringing much reward lately :-(

    OF COURSE (did you hear that or do I also need bold?), NOW I know exactly what has been going wrong!!!!

    Damn those flat shoes AND many thanks for the inadvertent advice cunt_helper!

  144. on 20 Aug 2010 at 12:46 am Pirate Pete

    Scarily, I think Sean is right – he’s clearly working himself up for a rape-a-thon in the outskirts of Worksop… nasty, nasty, nasty man!

    I do disagree about the surprise sex though – that can be the funnest kind :)

  145. on 20 Aug 2010 at 12:49 am Pirate Pete

    And for those of you who are wondering, his missive is just shy of 3,500 words – someone should give him a Doctorate in failed rapism or something.

  146. on 20 Aug 2010 at 3:48 am strangelyquiet

    @Pirate Pete,

    It’s much worse I’m afraid. His combined posts on the Your Freedom website come to over 75,000 words.

    If my word count’s right.

    The sticky silkworms slungemuff.

  147. on 20 Aug 2010 at 9:10 am Sheepless

    As a man, I feel left out. govt_helper went to great lengths to provide advice for women on how not to be raped, but where’s his advice for men on how not to rape?

    Obviously I’m not a thinker of govt_helper’s calibre, but here’s my first attempt at such a list:

    1. Don’t attempt to have sex with someone without their informed, unforced consent.

    This is just a work in progress, but I think it covers most of the bases.

  148. on 20 Aug 2010 at 9:14 am Shrinky pinky

    “How is it possible that one gender, i.e. WOMEN has for a considerable time a whole Ministry devoted to ITS needs, yet the other gender, i.e. MEN, is almost toally unrepresented in government.”

    Another good point there govt_helper. No men in our government, no siree. They are like, toally unrepresented, man.
    *weeps whilst realising all we ladeez have is Theresa-fucking-May*

  149. on 20 Aug 2010 at 9:57 am Ceannair

    *weeps whilst realising all we ladeez have is Theresa-fucking-May*

    Well, don’t forget that some time ago there was a porn star called Teresa May and apparently the MP got her mail and vice versa.

    Bet the Commons postman loved that!!

  150. on 20 Aug 2010 at 10:01 am Ugly Newt

    1. Don’t attempt to have sex with someone without their informed,
    unforced consent.

    This is just a work in progress, but I think it covers most of the
    bases.

    You can find a more extensive version through one of the links upthread.

    http://feministlawprofessors.com/?p=12965

  151. on 20 Aug 2010 at 10:05 am Bitforrin

    Sheepless, inspired by your efforts I too am humbly attempting to find foolproof strategies that I and other men can use to avoid raping.

    May I add:

    2. Avoid women at all costs. Condition yourself, Clockwork Orange-style, to feel severe nausea and debilitating terror at the very sight of a woman.

    It does occur to me, however, that govt_helper may have already attempted this and got himself in a bit of a tizz that has paradoxically led to a terrible growth in his resentment of and hatred for women. There must be a way out of all this. It’s too big for my head.

    Is this painful confusion govt_helper has caused me the way many HYSers feel when they try and think about the news? It would explain a lot.

  152. on 20 Aug 2010 at 10:11 am new scientist

    His combined posts on the Your Freedom website come to over 75,000 words.

    Sheeeeeeetttt, that’s longer than my PhD thesis by nearly 1000 words.

  153. on 20 Aug 2010 at 10:15 am new scientist

    Am I not allowed to post? :( Oh well, try, try again…

    His combined posts on the Your Freedom website come to over 75,000 words.

    Sheeeeettt, that’s longer than my PhD thesis by nearly 1000 words.

    If it doesn’t work this time, then bollocks to it, I give up.

  154. on 20 Aug 2010 at 10:45 am My Pockets Hurt

    I think in govt_helper we may have found the Great Uncle Bulgaria of cockwombles.

  155. on 20 Aug 2010 at 10:58 am random punter

    @new scientist

    the after-post refresh thingy is fucked, and you get returned to some random part of the thread, so your penance for posting is that you have to go back and link in to the site again or you look like a complete twat and end up double-posti………. oh, too late.

    (speaking from experience, here)

  156. on 20 Aug 2010 at 11:00 am Undemocratic Speed Bump

    @Mal

    I’d imagine he’d keep saying, ‘But my name is Ian,’

    to which everyone, and I mean everyone, from the canteen worker to the headmaster to the janitor would reply.

    ‘yeah, sorry Dick, won’t happen again’.

    I can’t imagine something up about govt_helper of course, far too much of a stretch of the imagination to think about him interacting with people, other than through the medium of rape.

  157. on 20 Aug 2010 at 11:05 am Shrinky pinky

    @Ceannair: that was the Teresa-fucking-May I was talking about! Amusingly, she was in the Prodigy video for ‘Smack my Bitch up’ – bet govt-helper is bent double on his stained brown sofa, furiously granny slapping to that idea…. (Hard to imagine him without the face of Bernard Manning – must run off to puke now)

  158. on 20 Aug 2010 at 11:28 am Theodore

    In the HYS “How should we treat addicts?” thread.

    49. At 10:37am on 20 Aug 2010, Nok wrote:

    blah, blah, blah….

    The only 2 solutions that may not lead to greater expense for the taxpayer are

    a) the leagalisation of drugs, and given the announcement today about the governments latest floundering efforts to counter ‘legal’ highs thats not going to happen.

    b) the death penalty for all addicts.

    Personally I feel b) is a little harsh, but for those looking for a solution that doesn’t cause an additional financial burden to the taxpayer i can see no alternative.

    A little harsh? Are you sure?

  159. on 20 Aug 2010 at 11:38 am frank snow

    I am intrigued to learn that young men routinely let him into their “private thoughts”.

    I bet they do, the little tarts.

  160. on 20 Aug 2010 at 11:38 am funny peculiar

    Elizabethan is a tub of rancid roe.

    Yet gaineth points that from his efforts grow.

  161. on 20 Aug 2010 at 12:54 pm new scientist

    Ah, shite – double post. Twat.

  162. on 20 Aug 2010 at 1:39 pm Bubblebobble

    I didn’t even read it. But felt that I needed to comment.

  163. on 20 Aug 2010 at 2:19 pm passerby otter bollock

    @Theodore

    A little harsh? Are you sure?

    C’mon, it’s just a little. It’s not as if the HYSers are in the mental state to understand what’s going on, and the Daily Mail commentards won’t object either, so you can’t really blame Nok for being that stupid.

  164. on 20 Aug 2010 at 2:33 pm Bill The Lizard

    This from phoe on HM Treasury’s Spending Challenge at http://tinyurl.com/38gpqg8

    We’re constantly told the prisons are full, we have to release offenders, or simply not send them to jail as a punishment in the first place. Instead, we have to put up with scumbags causing the same problems as before.

    1) A hotel chain recently “made” a hotel quickly using pre-fabricated steel containers – this idea could be adapted for prisons. The perimeter need be no more than a normal fence, as a machine gun nest every 100 yards would be a reminder. It worked well in WWII, there’s no reason not to adopt a perfectly adequate system to contain prisoners of war for ordinary prisoners.

    2) Lifers with no hope of ever being released are a drain on resources – after a reasonable period of time to allow for new evidence to come to light (if they claim innocence), or immediately if guilt is admitted, they should be given access to sufficient drugs to allow them to make their own “escape”. This would be on a timed basis, and only available after lockdown, so no-one else could get access to them. You could even make it into a “gamble” – a choice of three – happy, high, or dead.

    Words fucking fail me.

  165. on 20 Aug 2010 at 2:38 pm Adair A Day Keeps The Forrins Away

    Yet more wank- Er, wisdom from the sages of HYS:

    75. At 11:17am on 20 Aug 2010, milvusvestal wrote:
    I’m truly fed up listening to the bleating do-gooders who, to save their own jobs, want to see more help given to alcoholics and drug addicts. Thanks to Gordon Brown, this country can no longer afford the luxury of funding these types, so we should refuse medical treatment altogether, and stop the benefits.

    If people are stupid and ignorant enough to indulge in such practices, then let them sink deeper and deeper until they are no longer the drain on our health service and welfare system, ie they’re dead. That way, the risks of crime to fuel their habits diminish quickly.

    I don’t want anyone telling me that they can’t break the habit and live a decent life – more consideration for others, greater will-power and honest commitments to change for the better are what are needed from these wastes of space. Until they are given the treatment they really deserve, they will take advantage whenever they can.
    complain about this comment

    That’s that Swift bloke put in his place, then. Cretinous coelocanth’s cockring.

  166. on 20 Aug 2010 at 2:43 pm ad ho

    @new scientist,
    The comment form adds a load of crap to the url on your browser address bar. Try removing that so it ends at for-psychiatrists, then hitting return.

  167. on 20 Aug 2010 at 3:25 pm Ceannair

    Cretinous coelocanth’s cockring

    Fuck Elizabethan – that’s poetry!

  168. on 20 Aug 2010 at 4:34 pm Bawheid

    Reading that is like being sprayed in the eyes with a mixture of jizz and bile for five minutes.

  169. on 20 Aug 2010 at 10:51 pm catfood

    I had to put some gentle ska on in the background to get through it all.

    It’s magnificent; until, that is, you get to the rape manifesto where I got into such an apoplexy of rage I had to do something unspeakable that only the swift application of the Kadir-Buxton method and some Pimm’s could halt.

    I feel like walking up to randoms stating, ‘fuck you and everything you stand for’ on the off chance it’s him. Would be worth it.

  170. on 20 Aug 2010 at 11:45 pm [insert pseudonym here]

    govt_helper’s flat, 14:27
    [insert callsign here], dressed in a suit and sunglasses, knocks on the front door.

    govt_helper: (opening door) What?

    [insert callsign here]: Hello sir. Do you go by the alias g-o-v-t-underscore-helper on the “YOURFREEDOM” website?

    govt_helper: Yes, and?

    [insert callsign here]: And do you live alone Mr Helper?

    govt_helper: Yes. My girlfriend left me after I was accused of molesting o-

    [insert callsign here]: Thank you. I don’t need to know the details.

    [insert callsign here]: Mr Helper, I am [insert callsign here], I have been sent to give you a message from the British Public.

    [insert callsign here] hands govt_helper a green envelope.

    [insert callsign here]: Good day Mr Helper.

    Govt_helper stands in the doorway for a moment, checking for any wimmins walking alone in the park near his block of flats. He returns to his TV, dissapointed.
    [insert callsign here] walks calmly toward the stairs. He doesn’t blink an unseen eyelid as govt_helper’s flat explodes behind him. Cool guys don’t look at explosions.

  171. on 21 Aug 2010 at 12:17 am Pirate Pete

    You should submit that as a storyline for Spooks (govt_helper would have to be some kind of russian mole I suppose) – I’d watch it :)

  172. on 21 Aug 2010 at 1:37 am Jim

    Fuck sake. I started reading it thinking it would be a wank about how them wimmin be holding da men down…

    Then he goes on for like half a novel.

    Someone should reveal to this man the art of brevity.

  173. on 21 Aug 2010 at 4:03 am justabyte

    http://yourfreedom.hmg.gov.uk/restoring-civil-liberties/speed-bumps-1#comment_1281712148568267

    The link is to govt_helper’s novelette on why speedbumps are a feminist conspiracy to avoid mothers being blamed when he runs over their children.
    …………………………..

    I used great self-control after reading his rant on women’s duty to give up all paid work in order to breast-feed their families (apparently indefinately?)

    I didn’t post,

    A logorrhoeaic old buck,
    has a mindless compulsion to suck.
    After he found that boys
    had more productive toys,
    he found it more fun than … heterosexual intercourse, which tended to trigger his basic Oedipal fears.

    After all, it IS a government website.

  174. on 21 Aug 2010 at 12:05 pm tw@basket.com

    After all, it IS a government website.

    Sort of.

    It is more of a government sponsored place to round up all the loonies and keep them occupied talking crap to eachother instead of submitting proposals to the government in a way that the government actually has to respond to.

    I am pretty sure that the people the government actually wants to hear suggestions from are given an email address to send their serious suggestions, thus bypassing all this tosh.

  175. on 21 Aug 2010 at 2:03 pm Cylux

    I’m shocked that its even let me do this:-

    http://yourfreedom.hmg.gov.uk/restoring-civil-liberties/find-govt_helper-and-kick-him-in-the-nads

    Now THAT’S a government proposal I can get behind!

  176. on 21 Aug 2010 at 2:24 pm Undemocratic (and feminist) Speed Bump

    Govt_helper:

    And as I pointed out someplace, one woman left her 3 year old daughter in the nursery and went off to work, and it got out though a gate and eventually fell into the pond and drowned to death.

    So the woman blamed THE NURSERY, not HERSELF for failing to watch over and protect her child, thus AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITY once again.

    Yeah! Stupid bitch! Not being able to watch her child whilst she was at work!

    I’d love to see some of these mothers who demand 20 mile an hour zones and road humps just because THEIR child was killed or knocked down, and see how they behave when driving on OTHER PEOPLE’S roads and streets – e.g. you know the many who have been caught driving and using their mobile phones, or doing their make up or whatever.

    It goes on and on and on. Govt_helper is just such a giver.

  177. on 21 Aug 2010 at 3:05 pm tw@basket.com

    Govt_helper seems to have an interesting idea of responsibility. Women seem to be responsible for the actions of third parties even when they are not present. Presumably, if a woman is a victim of bank fraud this is her fault for not supervising her bank manager 24 hours a day. Presumably this is the case even if it as a joint account as in his unpleasant little nursery scenario there is no father to be seen when handing out the blame. Men are not even considered responsible for keeping their trousers on at work, never mind responsible for the safety of their children. In a weird way, there is something close to equality in this. It is almost equally offensive to women and men, albeit in rather different ways.

    It also makes me wonder if govt_helper had a father…

  178. on 21 Aug 2010 at 3:23 pm justabyte

    http://yourfreedom.hmg.gov.uk/restoring-civil-liberties/abolish-commercial-organised-sperm-donation#comment_1282347141326107

    And the beat(off) goes on … and on …

    Personally I’m rather glad that gov_helper doesn’t want to give us any sperm.

  179. on 21 Aug 2010 at 4:18 pm justabyte

    Cylux posted

    I’m shocked that its even let me do this:-

    http://yourfreedom.hmg.gov.uk/restoring-civil-liberties/find-govt_helper-and-kick-him-in-the-nads

    Please log in and rate it fast, before the Mods block it – it is now the second most popular post!

    Everyone has agreed with it so far!

  180. on 21 Aug 2010 at 4:25 pm Ugly Newt

    @Cylux:

    Notice that the first response to find-govt_helper-and-kick-him-in-the-nads is from one “spudhead” saying “it’s a bit OTT to punish someone for their opinions”. Is he saying that as part of a well-meaning but point-missing warning against totalitarianism? No, it’s because he’s another Men’s Rights Arsehole defending his buddy, as we can see from him whacking out the “feminists just hate men” argument on the spunk thread.

    It is more of a government sponsored place to round up all the loonies and keep them occupied

    If not, they’re eventually going to decide to take it away as the children can’t play nicely. At which point the loonies will chalk up another count of “my TRVTH is being censored!”, and find somewhere else to keep whining.

  181. on 21 Aug 2010 at 4:39 pm Any Rand will do

    From govt-helper‘s speed bumps screed:

    We took RISKS, we should not have done, and that includes when I actually DID get knocked down, I just should have been more careful, because people have got to realise they can’t expect motorists to necessarily always do the right thing, even if they mean to.

    This particular motorist clearly didn’t do the right thing, as govt-helper survived to tell the tale. He probably did mean to do the right thing as govt-helper‘s cuntitude must be visible from space. If I’m right.

  182. on 21 Aug 2010 at 5:15 pm Cylux

    @Ugly Newt
    I spotted some of spudhead’s spunkings and figured that the high crime I had committed was that I’d gone for someone for their opinions rather than for their particular gender (or race, or sexuality).

    But then again spudhead is a torrid terrapin’s tarpit.

  183. on 21 Aug 2010 at 5:20 pm Undemocratic (and feminist) Speed Bump

    @Cylux @justabyte

    As amusing as the gov website post is, I think I’ll decline on joining it. It reminds me of one of my mother’s proverbs: “If they’re as fucked up as govt_helper, don’t get involved.”

    Which didn’t make sense to me for years. But now I get it.

  184. on 21 Aug 2010 at 7:02 pm Schroduck

    He has a petition about marital rape (Google cache) which is so foul that the moderators have actually taken it down. It’s not especially funny, but he does seem to think that women accuse men falsely of rape solely to get on the Jeremy Kyle show:

    If a woman OF HER OWN CHOICE remains in a physically or sexually abusive relationship, as so many people (contrary to popular belief), and BOTH men and women, so frequently do, then it appears to me it is A WASTE OF POLICE AND COURT TIME AND MONEY for the law to endless investigate these immature and perverse games of tit for tat claim and counter claim or rape/violence/abuse, you name it, often perpetrated and aided and abetted by women, who for whatever perverse egotistical reasons (mainly attention seeking) appear to need to conduct their whole existence in some kind of sad and sick soap opera, like any number of low life ones shown daily on TV we could name.

    Note that that was all one sentence, by the way.

  185. on 21 Aug 2010 at 10:08 pm passerby otter bollock

    So, our good friend govt_helper has actually proposed abolishing laws about spousal abuse.

    And this thing blows my head off like a shotgun; mostly everyone who commented has disagreed with him, his arguments haven’t managed to persuade a single person either in the original post or the comment thread, and still he thinks he’s in the right.

    Well, I know that popular consensus doesn’t determine truth (flat Earth, for example), but he has to consider, at least for once, whether there’s anything he’s doing wrong. Starting with the very basics, I’d propose.

  186. on 21 Aug 2010 at 10:13 pm tw@basket.com

    I really hope govt_helper Googles himself from time to time. It might take the wind out of his sails a bit. God knows he has a surplus of wind.

  187. on 21 Aug 2010 at 10:25 pm passerby otter bollock

    Whoa, I just saw it, it’s in the ‘Speed Bumps’ petition, and it’s for real!

    Posted by govt_helper August 13, 2010 at 15:22

    [...] you have my deepest sympathy. I’d hazard a guess that the driver was totally at fault [...] quite often, in accidents drivers even MOUNT THE PAVEMENT and knock people down [...]

    This is what he said to a guy who was disabled when hit by a car (this guy agreed with him). And the following is from his response to a guy who disagreed with him:

    Posted by govt_helper August 13, 2010 at 16:09

    [...] Every one of us has probably come close to being knocked down seriously by a car at least once in our lives, and I think in most cases you’ll find it was OUR OWN FAULT.

    Well, what can I say? Euthanize him. As if it wasn’t enough that he’s such a cockwomble, sexist, borderline mental and a complete idiot, he’s added ‘hypocrite’ in the list of his many failures.

  188. on 21 Aug 2010 at 10:32 pm Mal

    I am so tempted to petition the government over to be able to use the words ‘twatbasket’ and ‘cockwomble’ on their forums without fear of censorship. It is, after all, a basic right of all English men and women (enshrined in Magna Charter, probably) to call a cockwomble a cockwomble.

  189. on 21 Aug 2010 at 11:44 pm Bugrat

    Part of a nice response to his ‘abolish marital rape laws’ anal drippings;

    ..your post has a lot of anger in it and this leads me to believe you have been a victim of the law you wish to repeal. Due to the nature of your complaint and the content of it I can only assume you are at some level sexually frustrated, I would suggest having some ‘together time’ with your partner (though I sincerely hope there isn’t one), failing that you might enjoy the company of the five digit mistress.

    I do so hope he Googles himself and is inspired to pop in here to say a few paragraphs.

  190. on 22 Aug 2010 at 10:51 am Sheepless

    I do so hope he Googles himself and is inspired to pop in here to say a few paragraphs.

    I don’t. Some people are so toxic that sparring with them can never be fun. This is a guy who would make the Yorkshire Ripper uncomfortable. The only good thing about him posting here would be getting his IP address.

  191. on 22 Aug 2010 at 4:33 pm Timmy Taylor

    I just wish that govt_helper was in politics, he would get my vote and the country would be a better place run by people like in.

    Common sense before political correctness.

  192. on 22 Aug 2010 at 4:38 pm Puppy Sandwich

    I don’t know how everyone else feels, but after reading more of govt_helper’s warblings I’ve got that kind of grubby feeling all over; like when you’ve been camping for a week and haven’t showered and your skin can’t breathe properly. I dread to think how meeting him would make me feel. I’d probably need to scrub myself raw for hours in the shower afterward.

  193. on 22 Aug 2010 at 4:57 pm Shrinky pinky

    Spot on Mr Taylor, what we definitely need is more people just like in.
    Rapist (at least in your mircocephalic mind) too, I take it? (from behind please as I am in no way modestly attired)

    Cockwomble (that one’s for you Mal)

  194. on 22 Aug 2010 at 6:26 pm Sheepless

    If you like people like in so much, you should go live in.

  195. on 22 Aug 2010 at 6:55 pm Turd-u-like IV

    You should submit that as a storyline for Spooks (govt_helper would have to be some kind of russian mole I suppose) – I’d watch it

    Yeah Spooks!! Go Britain!! Woot woot! Spooks is about British spies, like James Bond but cooler. I hope they win.

  196. on 22 Aug 2010 at 10:06 pm random punter

    Timmy Taylor

    I just wish that govt_helper was in politics, he would get my vote and the country would be a better place run by people like in.

    Common sense before political correctness.

    That’s just the beer talking.

  197. on 22 Aug 2010 at 10:34 pm Bitforrin

    That’s funny, my beer just called Timmy Taylor a cunt. But then, it is one of those foreign ones, so it might be wrong. Although I doubt it.

  198. on 22 Aug 2010 at 10:53 pm Schroduck

    To apologise for the link to the marital rape suggestion, have another one where he talks about why he wants to BAN SCIENCE.

    Scientists make all sorts of claims that EXCITE the public imagination, e.g. one I’ve heard lately that women can produce their own sperm.

    I’m sure govt_helper found his imagination EXCITED by that thought.

  199. on 22 Aug 2010 at 11:44 pm Kris

    Aaah, common sense and political correctness. Otherwise known as ‘things we like’ and ‘things we don’t like’.

    I personally think having govt helper in charge is a fucking awful idea. Imagine him in leadership debates, SHOUTING every OTHER word.

  200. on 23 Aug 2010 at 12:48 am ScottishStudent

    As someone who commented on this exact thread started by govt_helper I would like to thank the writer of this blog for getting this statement out into the wider internet.
    It means a lot to know that not everyone thinks the way that he does.

  201. on 23 Aug 2010 at 12:21 pm Mal

    It seems that he ‘find-govt_helper-and-kick-him-in-the-nads’ proposal has been removed from YourFreedom. Some one should really complain about this on govt_helper’s First let’s repeal all restrictions to freedom on this website proposal.

  202. on 23 Aug 2010 at 1:48 pm justabyte

    I have the impression that the post about teaching govt_helper the error of his ways has done some good.

    (It did me good; his attitudes were triggering. It helped to have proof that most people don’t think that way, now.)

    He was grossly offensive to a lot of people and I hope that the number of comments and the 4.7 rating was some comfort.

    (Spudhead may have commented against at the start but the post was getting 5 stars from everyone who rated it. It took Spudhead a very long time to realise that he could pull the average down with a one star rating – if he ever did. )

    Oddly enough, Govt_helper should disapprove of the Mods taking it down.
    He posted earlier objecting very strongly to taking posts down just because they might offend people or stir up hatred… here … http://yourfreedom.hmg.gov.uk/restoring-civil-liberties/first-lets-repeal-all-restrictions-to-freedom-on-this-website

  203. on 23 Aug 2010 at 2:25 pm justabyte

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to repeat earlier comments.

    Does anyone know how govt_helper managed to get the italics in that early post?

  204. on 24 Aug 2010 at 4:36 am Talia

    WHAT. Excuse me while I scream in his ear, “IT IS A TRUTH UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT A SINGLE MAN IN POSSESSION OF A LARGE FORTUNE MUST BE IN WANT OF A WIFE.” He can’t even quote the fucking book. He sure as hell doesn’t know what it’s about. She was BRILLIANT and witty and hello, satire? Austen herself never married. If she intended her works to be an endorsement of the systems in place in her time, one would think she would have taken her own advice and snagged her a man. It’s pretty apparent to me that she was dealing with balancing frustration with the limits placed on her as a woman and the need to, you know, eat. And really, she was pretty revolutionary in terms of female character development. Her heroines have spunk and spine and sarcasm and they choose their own adventures. They marry their own selection of a mate, for love, not money. God. I could rant about shitty “misreadings” (of course it’s not REALLY a misreading if you never fucking open a copy) of Jane Austen all night, so I’m just gonna stop here. For now.

  205. on 24 Aug 2010 at 11:00 am Ugly Newt

    The “kick him in the nads” one has been removed, but on the plus side, so has govt_helper’s original suggestion. Result.

  206. on 24 Aug 2010 at 11:14 am You inadequete ashamed of yourself women nonsense

    I thought there might be a secret message hidden in the capitals. So I extracted them and arranged them into a profound poem:

    Men still doubly
    discriminating feminism
    nothing is done

    Glaring inequality
    men inequality
    men women millions
    women still lying
    objecting observer men
    real it isn’t

    men sex several
    a biological mission
    the wealthy man/mate women
    themselves wife/mother
    only their biological mission
    really just-

    get on with it

    interim
    undecided need
    feared do men what
    you need power over you totally unexpected social esteem
    women finding a mate

    men are the problem
    control power
    really in fear men afraid
    all compete for jobs
    do not expected want
    pushy/ ambitious/ outgoing

    want naturally a social group
    pecking order you inadequete
    ashamed of yourself
    women nonsense
    real most can’t get a man
    to serve and worship them

    he you your good job
    your he needs he
    men/boys suicide men/boys succeed
    any some she nothing exactly demands
    that men this innocent fear as afraid
    she just demands sensible

    never you
    it’s really easy
    shouldn’t do
    well known crowded
    ever for his eyes only
    the state biological mission

    anywhere ever
    women only large group
    all grow up
    loads
    lots

  207. on 25 Aug 2010 at 9:14 am Understanded

    on 18 Aug 2010 at 9:07 am john Adair’s Gerbil wrote…

    Then I got to the rape advice….

    And now I just want to rip govt_helper’s nads off, shove them up his arse, pull them out again with a butchers hook then stuff the pathetic, shivelled little sacks down his fcuking throat.

    No wonder the fucking cunt fears women.

    Couldn’t have put it better myself… so I didn’t

  208. on 25 Aug 2010 at 3:47 pm Alex

    I can safely say that I feel stupider for having read that.

  209. on 26 Aug 2010 at 3:33 pm kaftan

    …………… well i wish everyone fancied me and i didn’t have to get a job


  210. [...] politics and unfair characterisations… Two blog posts (see here and here), where men express a clear outrage towards the feminist movement, have been brought to my [...]