Delusions of Grandeur and Racists and Self-appointed Sages31 Aug 2010 10:37 am
By Alex

Thanks to Michelle. How do you follow a pun like Londonistan? It’s a tricky one, right? Rolls neatly off the tongue, and everyone knows instantly what you’re getting at. But you can’t just rest on your laurels and spew out derivative shite like ‘Bradistan’, you’ve got to keep racist humour moving. So first thing you need is a town with a sizeable and prominent non-white population. There’s Leicester for a start, but nothing springs to mind. Oldham? Birmingham? Preston? Ah fuck it, can’t be arsed. Work backwards. Punchline first, Muzzies later. It’ll be fine.

Blackpool is aptly named as it will soon be comandeered as a permanent ‘new town’ to resettle incomers and ensure that the sharia can be practised without interference from the indigenous losers , formerly known as ‘The English’.
MAN IN MOSQUE ( Don’t shoot the messenger!)

Well, I’ll give you a C+ for effort at least, but now you’ve put the idea in my head, a spot of shooting’s just way too tempting.

38 Responses to “Indigenous Loser”

  1. on 31 Aug 2010 at 11:04 am Timmy Taylor

    They can build a mosque under blackpool tower and loudspeakers for prayer calls on the top in place of the lazer lights. site a big halal market at the winter gardens and we are away.
    they could also strap adulterors and homosexuals into the “big one” and throw stones at them on the way down for added effect.

  2. on 31 Aug 2010 at 11:50 am random punter

    Fuck me, Timmy. You waited all weekend for a new thread and that was the best you could do? I mean, you are obviously familiar with Blackpool – all those weekenders were obviously not wasted – but you didn’t even mention alcohol. For shame.

    Alex – where’s the link?

  3. on 31 Aug 2010 at 12:31 pm Jones

    I don’t think that man is really in a mosque.

  4. on 31 Aug 2010 at 12:54 pm Buggas

    I think he has a dodgy keyboard – his name is actually MANnINg MOSQUE – referencing the relatively unknown prayer room at the back of the Embassy Club in Manchester

  5. on 31 Aug 2010 at 12:56 pm Edwin

    At least this quivering pile of sex piss knows he’s a loser.

  6. on 31 Aug 2010 at 12:57 pm Mal

    There’s a village near here called Indian Queens.

    Just sayin’.

  7. on 31 Aug 2010 at 12:58 pm Cylux

    MAN IN MOSQUE is clearly talking shite. Everyone round Blackpool knows full well it’s Preston that’s being taken over.

  8. on 31 Aug 2010 at 1:03 pm rube

    Of course Blackpool is the new Leicester – Both will be back in football league 1 before you know it.

    on a vaguely related note: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/only-way-to-save-blackpool-tourism-is-to-destroy-rest-of-uk%2c-say-experts-200909182073/

  9. on 31 Aug 2010 at 1:06 pm Buggas again

    I’m guessing he’s never been on holiday to Wognum in the Netherlands.

  10. on 31 Aug 2010 at 1:11 pm ceannair

    Would it be worth pointing out that Dublin is Irish for Black Pool ?

    We are inundated with immigrunts – Brit hen parties being a main bone of contention!

    SEND EM HOME!!

  11. on 31 Aug 2010 at 1:38 pm Mouse

    Is Timmy Taylor just Time Nice But Dim by a different name? Only a slightly different name I’ll grant you, but the content of his posts seems to be remarkably similar.

    @ceannair – as a resident of Newcastle, the original ‘stag and hen party capital of Britain’, I can sympathise. Send em all to Blackpool I say – that’ll teach all them forrins a thing or two about good old English (not British) culture!

  12. on 31 Aug 2010 at 2:25 pm Albert Angelo

    [Blockquote]Is Timmy Taylor just Time Nice But Dim by a different name?[/Blockquote]

    I’d put money on it.

  13. on 31 Aug 2010 at 2:29 pm Theodore

    I have noticed a few black guys moving into the Blackpool area recently. They must be drug dealers as they all drive flashy cars and seem to do nothing all day but kick a football around.

  14. on 31 Aug 2010 at 2:29 pm Albert Angelo

    Fucking bollocking bastard blockquotes! I knew I’d screw ‘em up.

  15. on 31 Aug 2010 at 3:34 pm Mim

    According to the last pissed Southern stag night I encountered in Newcastle, I am (a)”dirty, you can tell” and (b)Welsh. Which is nice. At least they stopped the guy who was actually going to get his cock out. Good to know essential standards are being maintained.

    I will swap Man in Mosque a busload of wankers for some of his brown people if he likes.

  16. on 31 Aug 2010 at 4:10 pm Kris

    @Albert

    Pointies < not squares [.

    There's a half decent article in the Granuid about Glenn Beck's ego trip at the Lincoln Memorial recently, and as always the American libertarians are here in full force to provide us with much needed entertainment. My favourite is 'consitutionforever', because he's not even worried about Obama, or socialism, or libruls. No, he's got his sights set on a more ancient foe.

    Now let me tell you a comment someone once left a response I made inregards to the US.

    “Don’t you think the US and the UK would be better off as one great kingdom under the rule of His Majesty the King?”

    I’ll never forget that comment, now or ever.

    THE RED COATS ARE COMING. THE RED COATS ARE COMING! Don’t just stand there, man the fucking cannons!

    I recommend people check this guy out, he’s pleasantly mental. At one point he brings up WW2 for no reason, then spends several paragraphs demanding that the people of CiF acknowledge the contribution to the war made by the US. He complains that for all Europe cares America could burn, then starts waving his 1700′s sword about in rage when people offer opinions on US politics.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/users/constitutionforever/comments?commentpage=1

    Enjoy, but heed this warning, you European devils;

    Let me tell you something you and the rest of the radicals who have those stupid pictures of Che Guevara wonder why we have conservatism in the uS, you wanna know why? it’s cause of the 1st amendment which enforces free speech. You want to see Beck go away then take away the 1st amendment, go ahead I dare you. See what happens, becasue if anyone anywhere tries to even touch the Bill of Rights, they will face a Guerilla insurgency that will make the ones in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Vietnam look like nothing. So if your really willing to unleash a flood not seen since the Revolutionary War, then by all means try and stop people in the US from expressing there views, but you will fail miserably.

    Cue waving American flag in the background.

  17. on 31 Aug 2010 at 4:30 pm dirigible

    the sharia

    Bloody indie kids.

  18. on 31 Aug 2010 at 5:51 pm Tim nice but dim

    No I’m Tim nice but Dim…that Timmy Taylor feller is an imposter.

  19. on 31 Aug 2010 at 6:14 pm Trumps Comb Over

    All of you tims look the same to me.

  20. on 31 Aug 2010 at 7:08 pm [NutterBrackets]

    I read somewhere that Glenn Beck raped and killed a girl in 1990.

  21. on 31 Aug 2010 at 7:11 pm Mal

    Talking of Glenn Beck, here’s some breaking news.

  22. on 31 Aug 2010 at 7:14 pm tw@basket.com

    I fully endorse the suggestion not to shoot messengers. It is a nasty, low paid job in a dying industry; trudging around the country in all weathers delivering other people’s messages and never getting a tip. The second to last thing messengers need is people shooting at them en-route.

    The very last thing messengers need is morons who dress up as messengers, write down and carry their own stupid opinions as if they were actual messages from somebody else and then refuse to take responsibility for the stupidity of the alleged “message” when the recipient points out that it is a load of racist bollocks. You can use those fuckers for target practice any time you like.

  23. on 31 Aug 2010 at 10:41 pm Chris

    I have consumed at least two bottles of Rose wine . Just to make it clear before I progress with my dribblings, and by dribblings I mean in the intoxicated form, of course. I haven’t vistited HYS in at least a year, thanks to this website.

    But you clunge molesting infidels (hi Pirate Pete) make me do it, of all nights, feeling deprived of fuckwittery. I seek solace at HYS at precisely 22:25 31/08/2010. And by solace I mean the thoughts of…

    4. At 11:18am on 31 Aug 2010, My Thoughts – not_cast_in_stone wrote:
    1. – NO!
    2. – NO.
    3. – NO!
    4. – NO.

    That being related to the BBC HYS question of: The US’s combat operations in Iraq formally end at midnight on Tuesday, marking a new phase in the seven-year conflict which has cost billions of dollars and many thousands of lives. What will the mission change mean for Iraq?

    Which entails another three questions. Why idiotically answer the first question NO and continue to answer the proceeding questions? Does my drunken logic fall flat here? Please let me know because at this present moment I’m genuinely perplexed.

  24. on 31 Aug 2010 at 10:44 pm Chris

    Please also let me know why my blockquotes failed. Thanks xoxo

  25. on 01 Sep 2010 at 12:38 am Sir Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon

    Please also let me know why my blockquotes failed. Thanks xoxo

    Try at least 4 bottles of Rose wine next time, ya big puff.

  26. on 01 Sep 2010 at 1:01 am Sir Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon

    [fun fact]
    The town of Wagga Wagga (first “a” after the “W” in each case is pronounced flattened) in Australia is home to a large Greek migrant population – so MAN IN MOSQUE might be on to something there…

    If I’m right

  27. on 01 Sep 2010 at 8:33 am new scientist

    Alex – where’s the link?

    It’s been taken down now – it was quite some time ago. Pity, because it was even funnier in context. It was made in reply to an article about the history of Blackpool as a holiday resort, and it was mainly filled with misty-eyed reminiscences about childhoods spent parading up and down the Golden Mile. Then this cunt rears his ugly head with this totally uncalled for racist diatribe, with no relation to either the story or to the other posts whatsoever. The best thing is that no one says a word – the nostalgia just keeps on flowing all around him, oblivious. A lone voice in the wilderness (and when I say ‘voice’, I mean ‘caribou’s cancerous clunge’)! It was beautiful. I’m sorry y’all missed it.

    Of course, the downside of this is that you all now know my real name. Arse biscuits.

  28. on 01 Sep 2010 at 9:47 am pigfrottage

    Mal,

    Indian Queens is quite near Foxhole, which reminds me of the blah filter.

    It is all clay mining country where they filmed the planet Magrathea for Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy TV show.

    Now where’s the blah filter…?

  29. on 01 Sep 2010 at 10:10 am ceannair

    It is all clay mining country where they filmed the planet Magrathea for Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy TV show.

    I went to Tunisia on holiday once, apparently they filmed Star Wars there.

    Dude on the coach practically wet himself with excitement!

  30. on 01 Sep 2010 at 10:47 am Ayatollah Khameni

    What exactly seems to be the problem here? Of course we’re trying to take over Blackpool. In fact, the whole of the north of England will soon be under Sharia Law. Except Gateshead. You can keep that.

  31. on 01 Sep 2010 at 11:17 am Mim

    Are you being Judaeophobic, Mr Khameni? Tsk.

  32. on 01 Sep 2010 at 12:39 pm Mx

    > if anyone anywhere tries to even touch the Bill of Rights, they will face a Guerilla insurgency that will make the ones in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Vietnam look like nothing

    Really? I seem to recall the Cheney administration trampling all over it. Where was his insurgency then?

  33. on 01 Sep 2010 at 6:24 pm Mal

    Bill of Rights? Is that the one that goes (with apologies to Sellar and Yeatman)

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion (except the Muslims), or prohibiting the free exercise thereof ((except the Muslims); or abridging the freedom of speech (except the Muslims), or of the press; or the right of the people (except the Muslims) peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances (except the Muslims).

  34. on 01 Sep 2010 at 7:06 pm northern exposure

    Of course we’re trying to take over Blackpool. In fact, the whole of the north of England will soon be under Sharia Law. Except Gateshead. You can keep that

    Yes imagine the outrage when Whitehaven gets taken over.

  35. on 01 Sep 2010 at 8:52 pm Sheepless

    Indian Queens is quite near Foxhole, which reminds me of the blah filter.

    Foxhole? Do any atheists live there?

  36. on 02 Sep 2010 at 9:50 am pigfrottage

    I’m pretty sure some atheists live in Foxhole. Although locals always respond “Yeah, Foxhole’s a dump” whenever the place is referred to. Not as classy as Roche, Victoria or St Dennis.

  37. on 02 Sep 2010 at 5:06 pm Dco Wrong

    I’m Tim Nice but Dim and so is my wife

  38. on 05 Sep 2010 at 1:38 am Pirate Pete

    I’ve seen quite a lot of Dewsbury recently, and they can probably keep that too. I know it’s nowhere near the sea, but still…