What a sad world we are becoming.
It was once thought that technology especially computers would be a slave to man, a tool to ease his burden and give him greater leisure time but it seems to me that man is becoming the slave to technoogy with people spending every spare minute glued to their computer.
If that’s living then its your choice and your welcome to it personally I would much prefer to go for walk in the country and stop and chat with people in the flesh.
Don’y get me wrong, social networking sites have their place in society and are brilliant for the less abled bodied person although experience tells me that many of the so called less abled bodied people would benefit from a walk in the country.
RonC
It was once thought that computers would be a slave to man, but since the advent of the internet they’ve actually just become a massive fucking irritant, like a horrible genetic cross between blackfly and crabs. Who would have thought how wrong we could have been, waiting for our computers to evolve into giant flying fucking cars or something and instead getting people like Ron crowded round the internet eagerly waiting to Have Their Say on a variety of stupid, banal and repetitive topics by posting stupid, banal and repetitive opinions like “Technology was supposed to be a slave to man but now we’re its slaves! It’s the Matrix all over again!” and “I don’t know who this person is!” and “Personally, I don’t watch that/listen to music/breathe through my nose, so I don’t have an opinion, but it’s all shit anyway,” and “Slow news day!” and “These cripples are all faking it. I have much experience with this because I once pitched my mother out of her wheelchair and set fire to the house, and the fire brigade still turned up. Bitch must have been swinging the lead. QED.”
Simple solution to these Facebook so-called-disableds, though. Stick pins in their legs. They’d soon walk. Right, Ron?
Right.
Merry Fucking Christmas.
72 Responses to “Lazy Bastards”
I blame that fat fucker on the sleigh.
you probably meant “waiting for our computers TO evolve into giant flying fucking cars or something”.
Bad sandwich – rum sauce and stuffing
Many people, able-bodied or otherwise, would benefit from Ron taking a walk in the country. Especially if that country’s not the one they’re in.
I’m sure that once Ron’s given Chat Roulette a spin, there’ll be no looking back.
I know what’s going on here: RonC has been stalking his ex(es) and is frustrated by Facebook’s privacy settings which don’t allow him to read their status updates, emails etc, which is what he views as a failure of technology to be of any worthwhile service to Man.
However he should wary of what he wishes, because i’m sure they refer to him as “that creep”, “a freakshow” etc, and that’s if they’re spending a second thinking about him at all. And then he’d rant about women being selfish harpies with no concern for Man’s needs.
In short, cunt.
Experience tells me that many of the so called diabetic people would benefit from a nice big chocolate cake- not so “diabetic” any more are we? eh?
Facebook. It’s OK if you’re a cripple, but no-one else has any good reason to use it. Should be called Spasbook, really, or Freakbook.
…Cuntbook, anyone?
So, um, is it ok if I stay glued to my computer screen all day? It’s kind of directly linked to my paycheque.
The use of “in the flesh” does bring to mind a naturist park, though. Apparently it’s not enough to meet people in person anymore, unless they’re pretending to be spasmos of course. Then they can be shunted off to Facebook, where RonC won’t have to look at them in the flesh.
I think that might actually be my dad. There isn’t an ailment in existence he doesn’t think can’t be cured by a long walk and going to be early.
Walk in the country? There’s an app for that.
@Mal
At last, SYB back on form, and beverage back on screen.
He means dogging, doesn’t he?
Only so called by Ron. He understands that political correctness is basically good manners and tries to go along with it, but it just gets so confusing!
You can’t dog a paraplegic, or should that be, you can’t be dogged by one, at least not without some very expensive animatronics. Hence they have to pretend to dog each other on Facebook…
It’s starting to make some kind of sense, now.
And by experience, he of course means ‘watching Little Britain’.
Even the spam is getting nihilistic.
@bob buddybob
I go to Tesco’s and buy lots of cheap lager.
Less likely to have my credit card details sold to the Russian mafia.
God bless us all – every one!
Yup. Fixed. Churs.
Bad sandwich? Mortadella and spunk.
Jamesev…
I fucking hate when people write “Congratulations to…” or “My best wishes to…” or “My condolences to…” on a HYS site. I mean at least the incomprehensible ranting can be attributed to a response, perhaps even a rational response, to the human condition. Jamesev, on the other hand, has nothing, no purpose, and no conceivable rational explanation. He does not have rage in the conventional sense, just a series of vacuous statements no-one gives a flying fuck about that can be deployed in any discussion.
“You are suggesting that Ugandan domestic policy in the 1970s was characterised by brutality, and incompetence. Furthermore, you question if Idi Amin was sane. Well, I, jamesev, say congratulations to Idi Amin, I imagine orchestrating a coup in a small African state is a difficult task.” Oh you do? Fucking marvellous.
An apology is required: On 6/12/10, I posted this-
-And was in fact wrong; Pickles was alive at the time, and only popped his clogs today. Please accept my sincere regrets for this inappropriate violation of causality (though if it turns out his death was caused by choking on a biscuit having inadvertently surfed onto SYB, I claim first dibs on a commemorative T-shirt).
That’s child’s play to KingLeeRoySandersJr:
I once had a wank over Helen Slater as Supergirl, does that count?
Credit where credit’s due; that’s a perfect description of the typical HYS regular. Even his marriage advice to Kate Middleton reeks of wisdom-
-But I’d pack the anal beads, all the same.
Apologies for the pedantry. I still can’t let it lie.
pigfrottage aka yonder pedant who is he
My coat…It’s the one with the velcro and the misspelled logo, thanks.
@HYL
You’re wrong. All you need is a car bonnet.
Nah. Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman was better.
Good sandwich idea, Wonder Woman and Supergirl.
You can throw in Erin Gray as Wilma Deering out of Buck Rogers, but hold the lip-gloss, thanks.
Someone’s been reading Virilio. OK, well they haven’t. But you know what I mean.
What’s “technoogy”? Can I eat it?
Add Stella Starr (Caroline Munro), and that’s the best sandwich idea. Ever.
It’s the cheap eighties leather jacket on the left, thanks.
Oh, Wilma Deering…
1st season uniform.
Sigh.
I’ll go get my coat, it’s in the soundproofed wanking room.
Oh, YESSSS!!!
…and Buck Rogers implies Twiki, bringing us right back to animatronic paraplegic dogging.
I’m backing Britain!
@pigfrottage
Surely “misspelt”?
Personally i think the man’s just saddened the holes in the CD Roms are too big to give him any enjoyment. This of course following the extreme envy that anyone had a 3 1/2 inch floppy.
Old benders have child;
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1342092/Elton-John-David-Furnish-welcome-son-Zachary-help-surrogate-mother.html#
Sound logic there. Doesn’t matter how good at parenting they are, it differs from the norm and is therefore unacceptable. That child will have to go through the mind bending trauma of wondering why he has two dads. How can we expect a child to deal with something slightly different from what most other people do? How?!
Don’t you understand? It will grow up confused! Selfish pigs, inflicting temporary, mild confusion on an innocent child.
Yeah, it’s not like you can apply that to anyone having a child, ever.
My initial reaction to this flagrant display of open homophobia was disgust, but then I remembered what Lurk says.
When bad people are angry about good things, you know the world is going to be OK.
True
But there is nothing “good” about a couple of benders being given an innocent child to corrupt. Will they be leaving it outside public toilets whilst they go inside for a quick handshank with George Micheal?
Real wisdom is knowing the difference between good and bad, if God had wanted us to be gay, he would have given us something better than an Arsehole to stick it up, to me it stinks.
Also, I’m a wiffly bell-end with the social skills of a senile billy goat. I think I spend most of my time here, where people don’t want me, because it’s like when I used to soil my pants so my mother would spank me. I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway because my sore bottom was a kind of attention reward.
Mind you, this was only last year, so I could slip back into bad habits… Please don’t ban me or close SYB! I’m only one internet site away from wanking on the top deck of the bus again!
Sometimes, I only have to read the question being asked by HYS before I start head-desking violently.
Will online petitions help improve laws?
I can’t think of anything more that would do the complete opposite.
Do the RAF know that their ace display team are moonlighting as the P.C. police?
See? Bad people mad = good, even if their 1950′s view of homosexuality is deeply tiring.
Also, women have bums as well. When you get around to finding a prostitute desperate enough to let you subject her to a minute and a half of frenzied, awkward rutting, I recommend giving it a look.
Kris, that sounds a lot like an offer!
oh… my… y’know… God… an’ shit; I’ve just discovered that The BBC have got ‘Tweet Your Unfocused Kneejerk Hate’ on Radio5liveonline.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/5live/shows/5live-breakfast/2010-12/old-parents/?page=1&#commentList
@Gammon in coke
I think you’ll find either are acceptable.
Mmmm. Wilma Dearing.
I think “spelt” is an adjective and “spelled” is a verb. He misspelled the word, and the word is misspelt. The word could also be misspelled – by the speller.
‘Suddenly, Biggles let rip with a really smelt fart.’
It doesn’t quite work as an adj, does it?
‘Circumlocuitous is a very spelly word, isn’t it?
Yet, in the strange organic world of language, you wouldn’t say,
‘Biggles dealed the cards with experienced dexterity.’
That would be ‘wrong’. (Sorry for all this pedantry, I sleeped badly last night)
The point is there are a group of irregular verbs whose past participles traditionally end with ‘elt’… Spell, Smell, Deal, Sleep, Feel, Learn etc. Nowadays, many of these verbs are migrating towards a ‘regular’ spelling (spelled, etc)
So there.
How was 2010 for you?
Happy new year everyone. From your local dog felcher.
What can I say, middle aged nobodies who spend half their waking hours furiously wanking get me hot.
Toryboy forgot to include ‘Litrasy wil go donn’
Twats like him must be missing typing B-Liar & Clown, ZaNuLieBore ,it must be the only time they’re capable of getting even a semi-stiffy.
Relax. Its just another of those wizzo government schemes to get a self selecting group of morons to voluntarily kettle themselves in a place where they can easily and safely be ignored and stop thus them constantly sending incoherent letters to their MPs. At worst it will occasionally be used as a mechanism to retrospectively justify decisions that have already been taken.
@Kris/HYL:
“When bad people are angry about good things, you know the world is going to be OK.”
ActuLOL
Ah, the festive season… Unless you’re on HYS- How did you celebrate Christmas?
-The Kurt Godel of misanthropic cuntflappery.
Oh, blockquote bollocks. Put it down to the gin, it’s my only weakness.
Ah bless, Eric from Warrington is living in a poorly written 1970′s sitcom!
Ah. So we are blaming Muslims for the conquests of the Roman Empire and for the subsequent abject failure of the Jewish revolts now? Drat those pesky Muslims with their time machines!
Now, I know Trench Broom probably never learned any history, beyond maybe a list of the Kings Of England-Not-Britain, but how can he bang on about religion and not be aware of the Romans? I mean, they are in the fucking Bible!
I wish we could get Trench Broom and Jesus together so that Trench Broom could tell Jesus he was “was born and brought up in a Jewish homeland” and then we could all sit back for an hour or two as Jesus tells Trench Broom a few home truths about living in an occupied country where any expression of dissent gets you nailed to a tree.
At least he let us know that he isn’t religious. It is very important that we all know this. Eric C Smith is not being an arsehole just because some deity or other told him to. Nobody tells Eric C Smith when and how to be an arsehole. Eric C Smith is the master of his own destiny. Eric C Smith is very much his own arsehole and don’t anybody be thinking otherwise.
“Pass the sickbag .
- John Fogarty, Caloundra , Queensland , Australia, 28/12/2010 8:46″
A homophobe living in Queensland. The irony!
Anyone else been mining the rich seam of fuckwittery the honours list has uncovered, as per bloody usual? Meet Sue Doughcoup:
Happy New Year, everyone.
Presumably, Sue Doughcoup sees no point in going to the toilet, as there will always be more shit. This might explain why it is overflowing into her keyboard.
Meanwhile, MercThrasher is upholding the true standards of journalism in a way the BBC could only dream of.
On how 2010 was for him:
And on Christmas Day, when asked how he spent the day:
Now, I’m an embittered old hack and a pagan to boot, and even I didn’t spend Christmas day spewing self-satisfied vitriol over the message boards of publications that rejected my last half-arsed job application.
It’s not a good idea to read HYS right now, they’re vying to outdo each other in the fields of ignorance, bigotry and schadenfreude- As John Fogerty might have written, there’s a cuntstorm on the rise.
On Ivory Coast:
I thought I’d run out of invective; but I haven’t. Moronic mallard’s minge.
How about a televised contest in which HYS posters are flung into a bare earthen pit and left to fight to the death over meat? Charlie Brooker could commentate; he’d probably end up quoting this twat as a general epitaph.
I doubt that the BBC’s moderators are prone to confusing “moral justified reasoning” (sic), with “frenziedly wanking over Andy McNab paperbacks.”
Death by anorexia- You’d think that most of us would see that as tragic, right?
Wrong.
Kangaroo’s knob jockey.
I think that speaks for itself.
It’s being worked on- But on the back burner; everyone’s too finding a permanent solution to thick, nasty fuckheads pissing rubbish over the Web.
And from the New Year Honours thread:
HYS is like far too many toilets around here: Unflushable and filled with shit.
Happy New Year, everyone.
Well my advice when not knowing what you’re talking about is usually to shut the fuck up.
Meh, fuck ‘em all.
Happy New Year – another 365 days of cockwomblery awaits.
A fluffy little article from the dark-haired one off of The Fast Show about dieting. Nothing serious, might produce some rants about fashion models, the food industry and the morals of fat people. First comment?
And many more in the same vein. I hate tories from my bones, and credit for not doing one of the variations of “ConDem”, but how twattish is that?
The thing with Eric from Warrington, for me, is that not being religious makes it worse. If someone is from a religious background I think to myself “well, he may be a twatbasket but at least he’s being a twatbasket because he is basing his opinions on a set of principles that provide a framework for his view of the world.” With Eric, however, I am forced to think “he is a twatbasket because he just chooses to be.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
‘Should control orders be scrapped?’
Anyone care to predict how this is going? Didn’t think so:
Like um, Tangoing?
There may be a couple of teensy flaws in the plans outlined above. When I wrote ‘plans’, I meant ‘cocktwaddle.’
It’s dawned on ‘Dr’ Llareggub that his his two-hundred-yard bacon-stench exclusion zone isn’t actually deterring anyone except the puppets from ‘Rainbow.’
Jealousy at the thought of others ‘getting lucky’ is never becoming.
Thank fuck for a moment of incoherent stupidity.
As opposed to a cretinous cinchilla’s cockpipe?
When iKnappy grows up, he wants to be Alfredo Astiz.
According to G K Chesterton:
Despite this, the assortment of desperate cases that Dipsomaniac Physics Student has found for us are more than happy to admit to the terrible shortcomings of control orders (inconvenient, unjust, ineffective, prone to misuse, etc) even as they feebly try to defend them.
Personally I blame their mothers for being too drunk to patriotically strangle them at birth.
@Pete Tong
“Labour will still not apologise for leaving the country in a mess and blame continue to blame Carmeron/Clegg..”
Like, he wrote “…country in a mess and blame” then thought ‘no wait!…”*continue* to blame”.
That or he was typing, had a wank and forgot where he had left off. And because the internet isn’t going to read his impotent rage, he’d be damned if he’d do it to make sure he started in the right place.
If I’m right.
nothing pithy to add, just thought I’d use this name …. I’m the Gyles Brandreth of death!!
I can’t find the appropriate grief athlete thread – here’s hoping that several wits have already dragged out his Thatcher rant from “Brassed Off”.
..at least spell my fucking name properly..
Tax to drive to work, tax to park at work, PAYE, NI, council tax, pension ripped off, tax on savings, etc etc.
Join the council house doley brigade and stop contributing to making the Camerons and Blairs richer.
Happy new year folks.
I don’t know how to do block quotes so…
“22. At 6:47pm on 30 Dec 2010, Lincoln Muri – Fort Myers Beach wrote:
What the hell has this world come to? When did not wanting to eat become a disease? I fail to understand the mental state of these individuals. My opinion is that people that fall prey to “eating disorders” are not as intellectually developed as the rest of society. Surely any rational human being can comprehend the intricacies involved in the fashion world and still be able to make sound decisions regarding their health.
One question I’ve always wanted to ask, isn’t there a way to give someone sustenance (food) in pill or other form so they don’t have to eat but still stay healthy? Or is it only a temporary solution?”
I do know that we’re not supposed to mention him anymore, but surely AKB can cure anorexia with a box around the ears or some shit???
“It was once thought that computers would be a slave to man, but since the advent of the internet they’ve actually just become a massive fucking irritant”
I take it the irony of saying this online is lost on the writer?
Still a cunt, eh, Neil?