spEak You're bRanes

Thanks to Beth.

Here’s a horrible indictment on the state of the NHS, colourfully illustrated by a woman giving birth in the middle of a hospital waiting room in full public view.

The response from readers of the Standard? She’s fahckin’ brahn, intshe.

cost of one baby approx 20K, so she has cost 120K just in babies. I am not even going to mention the housing benefit she will get with 6 kids.
No sympathy from me, I am afraid.
Mike, London

No, no sympathy from Mike. Just a vapid assumption that the brown woman is on benefits. Had to undergo a humiliating experience in front of strangers and are one in a long line of examples of grossly inadequate services at a major London hospital? Fuck you! You don’t deserve sympathy. Have some scorn instead: hot British scorn. See, she’s fucking smiling in that photo – no sympathy! No wonder she’s smiling, living the easy life with those six kids on all that housing benefit it’s safe to assume she’s getting because she’s brown. And because, apparently, you get housing benefit for having kids.

I can’t really feel sorry. Ilford via where? Sixth child at my expense? I’m rather glad she didn’t get a bed. Perhaps if she goes home she might get a better deal.
Vomit inducing, London

Yes, we’ll be sending bailiffs around for your car and flat screen TV later so we can flog them on eBay to pay for her treatment. And then we’ll be moving two of her kids into your spare room. And you have to pay for them and look after them. But you can’t show them any love and they won’t show you any respect. Big Society thing. We’re doing direct democracy, but we’re trying the direct taxation thing first.

Max Clifford will be on the case with Cheri Blair chasing a buck on the human rights front…..Back home she would have been left in a mud hut to fend for herself thank your lucky stars your in the UK milking the system.
avalidopinion, London.Uk

Yes, wherever “back home” is, you can safely assume it’s unreasonably savage and uncivilised and people live in mud huts. Because it’s fairly obvious that unless it’s Spain (wonderfully decorated but sparsely furnished terracotta block housing), Italy (waterlogged but wonderfully decorated and sparsely furnished canalside block housing), Greece (wonderfully decorated but sparsely furnished villas in olive groves), or Egypt (they have hotels, apparently, I know a guy who went there on holiday, said it was hot, but nice, but there were a lot of annoying locals touting for business, haven’t been there myself, but it seems about right) then if it’s hot and people wear things on their heads, and they’re not royalty or something, they must live in some kind of mud hut. Why, even their hospitals will be made of mud or something! Stands to reason! It’s not racism. It’s common sense, and it’s a valid opinion.

Tip: if you have to state that you think your opinion is valid, then it’s probably a shit opinion, and you’re a giant fucknugget.

In the interests of balance how about a reporter from the Standard doing a background check on this story and finding out if this woman has the financial means to support such a large family, does she or her husband work? If not, just how much money does her family attract from the state? Also, keep an eye on the hospital and see if they do make a payout of tax payer’s money.
Pete, Northumberland/Iraq

Yes, that’s balance. I’m glad you’re familiar with the principles of balance, proportion and fairness and how they’re relevant to journalism today. For instance, it’s entirely fair and in the spirit of balanced journalism that if these people are actually on benefits, or if they receive any form of subsidy for the state at all – or even if there’s the merest non-race based suspicion that they do – then someone should violate their basic right to privacy and delve right into their finances just to be sure. Because if we didn’t know where they got their money from, then how exactly would we know if it was fair that she had to give birth in full view of complete strangers in the middle of a hospital waiting room?

Tell you what, in the interest of balance, while we’re using the Standard’s journalists to investigate this woman’s finances, let’s subject Pete to daily public colonoscopies without anaesthetic or lubrication. I have no real reason for suggesting this, except that I think Pete might have a better idea of what public humiliation and unnecessary invasion of privacy might feel like if we ram a 15ft tube up his arse in public every day for a week, and he might end up thinking twice before he suggests something painful, humiliating and invasive so he can get closure. Which, incidentally, is something his arsehole won’t be getting for a while if we go through with my plan.

How it can be ‘racist’ to describe the overwhelming of the NHS; the education system; the benefits’ system; and every aspect that is free at point of delivery, defeats me. The combined idiocy of the awful Blair-Brown Terror and their ludicrous open door policy has reduced this country to a shambles and practically ungovernable. France has a much better health service but their benefits are not in the same league as ours, so everyone flocks to Britain.

The person from Dundee ought to spend some time here in London. She clearly lives in a parallel universe.
David Llewelyn Davies, London, a Region of the European Soviet Union

You’re right David. It’s not racist to describe all of those things. It’s just racist when you say things like “back home she would have been left in a mud hut to fend for herself” and “Ilford via where?” and “perhaps if she goes home she might get a better deal”. Oh, and mentioning all those things and then saying something about a “ludicrous open door policy” and relating it all to immigration, and blaming people of a different colour. That’s racist – in fact, the blue riband of being a racist twat. It’s like a more nuanced, “I’m not racist, but…”

Just for fun, here’s another one about the same hospital, this time involving someone brown who died, but who has a husband with a better standard of English than most commenters. Can you spot the blame game in the comments?

That’s right… it’s the forrins we got for nurses. Merry Christmas. Seriously, have a good one.

Thanks to Claire.

Here’s Richard Dawkins telling everyone why he won’t debate with cunts. Wise words. Call them a cunt and then leave off. You could learn a great deal from this man.

Here’s someone who couldn’t, largely down to the burden of converting oxygen to energy and exhaling carbon dioxide.

So, do you remember that observed phenomenon when people extrapolate their own lives into the lives of the rich, famous, well-educated or hideously busy?

Of course Dawkins is reading this Toyo06.

What do you think he is, an Olympian God?

He wrote the little diatribe, he made his splash and now he wants to see the ripples.
Nainital

Yes. Richard Dawkins has been sat there, at his computer, continually refreshing the page, waiting for your comments. That’s what he does. He just writes articles for national newspapers, and then he goes on the internet to find the article and then he sits there and continuously refreshes the page waiting to see exactly which irrelevant shitmunching tossburger he’s pissed off this time.* And then he has another wank. He does exactly what you do – notwithstanding that you’re the irrelevant shitmunching tossburger in this whole paradigm, of course, and your involvement with any online community is very much the equivalent of a five year old child pissing in the corner of the room.

Has anyone else noticed that ‘Dawkins’ spelt backwards is ‘snik wad’, eh? I think that tells us a lot.
errrrr

Tells us either that you’re just a cunt, or you’re even shit at irony. But probably the cunt thing. It’s usually the cunt thing.

*Notwithstanding this statement, Dawkins has his say here. For God’s sake, please don’t get dragged in, Richard. It’s only a matter of time before you’re sat there at 5am in your underpants arguing on Yahoo News with a man from Texas whose considered opinion is that dinosaurs still exist and now they just all have jobs in government. At the very least, it shows that even the best of us can’t get involved in any part of the internet without exercising our right to reply. And that’s also my excuse.

Thanks to Ged.

Personally, I find it hard to approach the death of someone famous in a tactful way. Some people are more blessed. And others less so.

Its obviously something thats affected everyone deeply. The sheer unexpected nature of this is what is causing such pain. An accident is easier to understand. An illness gives you time to prepare. Even mental illness, whether its depression, bipolar or schizophrenia allows the relatives to steel themselves for this terrible possibility.

Its scant consolation given the apparent mystery surrounding Speed’s death, but all they have is good memories of a well-loved, well respected, honest, decent and admirable man. This will become important as times passes and, hopefully, some explanation emerges.

If he was suffering from depression or a related mental illness, it is a blessing that no one was the wiser considering his drastic action. They would have been powerless to help and would have had to deal with the wrenching pain of watching a loved one go through such horrendous torment.

Speed’s family and friends will be devastated, but they should hold on to what they had, rather than what might have been.
mikeygow

Yeah, it’s much better for his family and friends that he killed himself and they were none the wiser about anything. I’m sure once they’re done grieving they’ll take great solace from the fact that he wasn’t any trouble about it all, and at least they didn’t have to deal with a depressed bloke hanging around the place.

I shared a lift with Gary Speed in Albania in 1995. Although no words passed between us he seemed like a nice chap, although we were both heading for reception so there wasn’t much to say.
roastpudding

Yeah, cheers, mate! Let us know when you’ve not spoken to someone else.