We’re Not Racist, We’re Just Cunts
By DizzyThanks to Beth.
Here’s a horrible indictment on the state of the NHS, colourfully illustrated by a woman giving birth in the middle of a hospital waiting room in full public view.
The response from readers of the Standard? She’s fahckin’ brahn, intshe.
cost of one baby approx 20K, so she has cost 120K just in babies. I am not even going to mention the housing benefit she will get with 6 kids.
No sympathy from me, I am afraid.
Mike, London
No, no sympathy from Mike. Just a vapid assumption that the brown woman is on benefits. Had to undergo a humiliating experience in front of strangers and are one in a long line of examples of grossly inadequate services at a major London hospital? Fuck you! You don’t deserve sympathy. Have some scorn instead: hot British scorn. See, she’s fucking smiling in that photo – no sympathy! No wonder she’s smiling, living the easy life with those six kids on all that housing benefit it’s safe to assume she’s getting because she’s brown. And because, apparently, you get housing benefit for having kids.
I can’t really feel sorry. Ilford via where? Sixth child at my expense? I’m rather glad she didn’t get a bed. Perhaps if she goes home she might get a better deal.
Vomit inducing, London
Yes, we’ll be sending bailiffs around for your car and flat screen TV later so we can flog them on eBay to pay for her treatment. And then we’ll be moving two of her kids into your spare room. And you have to pay for them and look after them. But you can’t show them any love and they won’t show you any respect. Big Society thing. We’re doing direct democracy, but we’re trying the direct taxation thing first.
Max Clifford will be on the case with Cheri Blair chasing a buck on the human rights front…..Back home she would have been left in a mud hut to fend for herself thank your lucky stars your in the UK milking the system.
avalidopinion, London.Uk
Yes, wherever “back home” is, you can safely assume it’s unreasonably savage and uncivilised and people live in mud huts. Because it’s fairly obvious that unless it’s Spain (wonderfully decorated but sparsely furnished terracotta block housing), Italy (waterlogged but wonderfully decorated and sparsely furnished canalside block housing), Greece (wonderfully decorated but sparsely furnished villas in olive groves), or Egypt (they have hotels, apparently, I know a guy who went there on holiday, said it was hot, but nice, but there were a lot of annoying locals touting for business, haven’t been there myself, but it seems about right) then if it’s hot and people wear things on their heads, and they’re not royalty or something, they must live in some kind of mud hut. Why, even their hospitals will be made of mud or something! Stands to reason! It’s not racism. It’s common sense, and it’s a valid opinion.
Tip: if you have to state that you think your opinion is valid, then it’s probably a shit opinion, and you’re a giant fucknugget.
In the interests of balance how about a reporter from the Standard doing a background check on this story and finding out if this woman has the financial means to support such a large family, does she or her husband work? If not, just how much money does her family attract from the state? Also, keep an eye on the hospital and see if they do make a payout of tax payer’s money.
Pete, Northumberland/Iraq
Yes, that’s balance. I’m glad you’re familiar with the principles of balance, proportion and fairness and how they’re relevant to journalism today. For instance, it’s entirely fair and in the spirit of balanced journalism that if these people are actually on benefits, or if they receive any form of subsidy for the state at all – or even if there’s the merest non-race based suspicion that they do – then someone should violate their basic right to privacy and delve right into their finances just to be sure. Because if we didn’t know where they got their money from, then how exactly would we know if it was fair that she had to give birth in full view of complete strangers in the middle of a hospital waiting room?
Tell you what, in the interest of balance, while we’re using the Standard’s journalists to investigate this woman’s finances, let’s subject Pete to daily public colonoscopies without anaesthetic or lubrication. I have no real reason for suggesting this, except that I think Pete might have a better idea of what public humiliation and unnecessary invasion of privacy might feel like if we ram a 15ft tube up his arse in public every day for a week, and he might end up thinking twice before he suggests something painful, humiliating and invasive so he can get closure. Which, incidentally, is something his arsehole won’t be getting for a while if we go through with my plan.
How it can be ‘racist’ to describe the overwhelming of the NHS; the education system; the benefits’ system; and every aspect that is free at point of delivery, defeats me. The combined idiocy of the awful Blair-Brown Terror and their ludicrous open door policy has reduced this country to a shambles and practically ungovernable. France has a much better health service but their benefits are not in the same league as ours, so everyone flocks to Britain.
The person from Dundee ought to spend some time here in London. She clearly lives in a parallel universe.
David Llewelyn Davies, London, a Region of the European Soviet Union
You’re right David. It’s not racist to describe all of those things. It’s just racist when you say things like “back home she would have been left in a mud hut to fend for herself” and “Ilford via where?” and “perhaps if she goes home she might get a better deal”. Oh, and mentioning all those things and then saying something about a “ludicrous open door policy” and relating it all to immigration, and blaming people of a different colour. That’s racist – in fact, the blue riband of being a racist twat. It’s like a more nuanced, “I’m not racist, but…”
Just for fun, here’s another one about the same hospital, this time involving someone brown who died, but who has a husband with a better standard of English than most commenters. Can you spot the blame game in the comments?
That’s right… it’s the forrins we got for nurses. Merry Christmas. Seriously, have a good one.
39 Responses to “We’re Not Racist, We’re Just Cunts”
Ace post, Diz. I’m lost for words. Even dirty ones describing spunktunnels of the animal kingdom.
This direct taxation approach is seriously winding me up. I KNOW that my taxes are directly paying for a family of 9 scousers to live in the lap of luxury. And do I get any thanks? Not even a fucking Christmas card.
Dizzy – I think this post shows possibly the worst aspects of human nature I have ever seen on SYB. And it’s up against some pretty tough competition. Did you save it up as a Christmas Special on purpose?
Merry Christmas
Haven’t been moved to post on here for frickin’ AGES.
But Jesus H Christ, WHAT A SHOWER OF CUNTS. I shall keep this brief, because I feel like every word I type which is not CUNTS is letting these CUNTS off the hook. In fact, I feel like every second I spend not screaming CUNTS at the top of my voice is giving them an easy ride as well.
CUNTS.
Ah! Thank you, Mirelurk. CUNTS was the very word I was searching for.
Hot English scorn, surely? The sheep-shaggers, bog-trotters and chocolate-fryers just don’t pull their weight when it comes to “just pointing out the facts, not being racist” in the most cuntish manner possible.
It’s 1894 all over again.
Well, I guess that if you’re going to tell a lie, you might as well tell a whopper. No, make that a double Whopper, with fries and a milkshake.
If it helps, we can’t send a card because we all went to Magaluf on your taxes and we don’t know how to ask where the post office is in Spanish.
Yes, but as a commenter there helpfully pointed out, no one outside of London could possibly know what it’s like living there and being persecuted by all these imaginary demons. Not even good old British red demons, either… sometimes you can’t even tell what colour they are for all the burkas going around…
“I have no real reason for suggesting this, except that I think Pete might have a better idea of what public humiliation and unnecessary invasion of privacy might feel like if we ram a 15ft tube up his arse in public every day for a week, and he might end up thinking twice before he suggests something painful, humiliating and invasive so he can get closure.”
It doesn’t work like that, not with total inhuman cunts. They don’t think like real people with (actual functioning) brains and (metaphorical) souls. They would never feel any empathy with other people suffering the same indignities as they do and you could wait until the heat death of the universe before a thought like “If I think I got it bad what about all those poor sods who got it even worse?” crossed their minds. Quite the opposite, in their game of competitive misery, all that matters is keeping one step ahead of the other bugger. His version of the above epiphany is more likely to run along the lines of “My life may be miserable and empty but at least there are still kids starving in Africa so I win. Ha ha.”
This is not to suggest for one moment that we should not implement Dizzy’s excellent medical plan in full. It is absolutely essential that we do. It is just that it won’t work. None the less, we must do it anyway.
I’m pretty sure I still have at least 15 foot of manky old hosepipe at the back of the shed which could save the Iraqi NHS (Northumberland branch) wasting any of its money on Pete. It’s probably not clean, never mind sterile, but given where it is going that hardly seems to present a problem.
Hmmm…not sure I believe that as we all know how easy it is to speak forrin. Spanish? Easy.
WHICH-EE…WAY-OH…TO…THE…GIRO-SHOP-EE-OH….COM-PREN-DEE
How hard can it be?
But strangely enough Dizzy, it HAS helped. You are practically a human salve or something.
One of the more depressing aspects of all this is that instead of telling these ignorant human turds to fuck off & die, the mainstream political parties pander to the racist twats. The lump-of-labour fallacy (they’re taking our jobs!), along with a related lump-of-housing fallacy, could easily be scotched if either of the main party leaders actually understood it themselves, or could be arsed to explain it.
Bah..
No salve for Pete- Mr. Hosepipe goes in dry or not at all.
I’m struggling to tell if this comment on ES editorial policy is common or garden stupidity, or biting satire.
Ever since I read Pete’s (“Northumberland/Iraq”) I’ve had the weirdest feeling. I’ve never actually rooted for an insurgent before…
When the Earth is populated by two hundred billion people, which it can quite easily sustain and still have buckets of room left over for nature reserves,
when the races have interbred and commingled to such an extent that there are no more whites or blacks,
when the price of a return trip to the Moon is about the same as a weekend skiing trip in Andorra,
when the glaciers have melted and so much of the planet is underwater that most cities are in big glass bubbles,
only then will people realise that a 15-foot pipe up the rectum is fitting punishment for some craven bollock who thinks that brown=benefits recipient.
@Dipsomaniac Physics Student
Damn the fucking Mayans …. in 2012 I’ll get the fucking blockquote malarkey right ….I swears I will.
Just so I am clear on this. Do trips to the moon become really cheap? Or skiing trips to Andorra become REALLY expensive on account of the lack of glaciers and the need to build artificial ones under giant glass domes?
I just want to know whether I ask for a snowboard or a golf club for Christmas, that’s all.
Even by the usual standards of drivel people spout this is pretty special stuff. If someone is brown they must be spanking the taxpayer, having arrived on the underside of a 747 from a village full of mudhuts and goats. And everyone knows that brown people on benefits don’t deserve nurses and midwives, they should just be beaten with sticks by good honest British taxpayers until they spontaneously drop the baby on the floor. At which point it can be gathered up and given to a nice white middle class couple. Fucking hellski, comments like those are proof, as if it were needed, that natural selection isn’t working because the morons are not being weeded out before they get old enough to breed and pass on their guff to another generation.
Hanging Pedant, as long as people realise that five yards of Wavin piping being abruptly rammed up a certain commenter’s poo-pipe is the only civil response to his comments, then I reckon skiing and golf will be amalgamated into a single sport. Which will be fun to watch, admittedly.
There is some very assumptive thinking on this thread that having 15 feet of hosepipe shoved up your jacksy is a BAD thing. Admittedly the last couple of feet bring a tear to the eye but by and large….
Having recently gone through the process of giving birth to a child, the thought of doing it in front of a waiting room full of people makes me feel physically sick. People who, by the comments in the article, were sitting around eating snacks and enjoying the show like it was an early pantomime – “I can see the head!”, “Oh no you can’t!”
People make me sick.
Merry fucking Christmas.
Hang on, you mean there’s NOT a magic money tree?
KICK ALL THE FORRUNS OUT OF BRITERN!!1111
And I bet this cunt spends half his time moaning about how secularists are trying to kill off Christmas and etc and so on.
Marry fucking Christmas!
Aptly named.
Unexceptional Female, many congrats!
Unless you are brown, obviously.
By the way I do agree that it would be inappropriate to eat certain snacks whilst rubber-necking at a public birth. Tomato salsa on corn chips for instance. Or indeed red grapes. That would just be impolite. Even if you do offer to share with the lucky lady at the centre of attention.
Whoa, shit, thanks Dirty. I meant unless you’re a brown forrin, obviously. In which case please get out of Britten* and go back to wear u came from**, innit.
* Benjamin don’t like it up ‘im, y’know.
** If you were born in England, then go back to where your forrin parents came from***, innit.
*** If your parents were born in England, loop recursively.
Merry fucking Christmas, all!
Blimey, did I really write that shite yesterday? I think I need to get my funny bone re-calibrated.
Happy fucking Hogmanay ‘n’all, all.
Euuuuuurgh that last link is just awful.
Merry Christmas all.
OK this was about the riots, but I think lordstevens from CiF might have inadvertently brain-farted a solution to people dropping sprogs in NHS waiting rooms:
I’m thinking water births. In canyons. With vehicles to transport the forrings thereto.
Dizzy, usually your words manage to take the edge off reading comments made by even the most repulsive of ballbags – even making it pleasurable. But this time I’m left with a persistent urge to walk to the sea and just keep walking.
I think Mirelurk said it best:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2078170/The-picture-shows-caring-John-Terry-poses-Hamleys-black-baby.html
What they dont tell you is that he is about to drop kick it into Hamleys christmas grotto.
That picture shows that John Terry is not racist, because if a racist grabs a black child their skin starts to welt and burn.
If you think about it, this makes sense, as it also explains why Johnny Paedo is so angry all the time.
On a similar theme, here’s a goldmine of racism and capital punishment fanaticism:
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/man-stabbed-death-oxford-st-151731293.html
[quote]STEVEN • Reading, England •
bring back capital punishment I say
There should be public executions as a deterent[/quote]
Yes, Steven. The best way to build a compassionate society is to watch people DIE right in front of you and tell yourself it’s OK, because they’re not like you. Monday Night Executions live on Sky Sports. That’s what will put the Great back into Britain, isn’t it?
Also, it would appear I have no idea how the fuck you format quotes on this site. Meh.
Dear Dr Uckwit,
1. His purpose is not to build a compassionate society, but a peaceful and law-abiding one. Is he wrong?
2. For blockquoting MAGIC: http://lifethefinalfrontier.wordpress.com/2009/08/07/quoting-text-for-wordpress-comments-sites/
Read and inwardly digest.
Love,
Ed
Blaming black people for the state of the hospital! Amazing.
That was like some sort of Pavlovian experiment – all you have to do is have a picture of a black woman and her kid in the paper and the rants just come flooding in. There have been allegations on the site that the mods are blocking reasonable comments as well.