Delusions of Grandeur and Miscellaneous Prats and Permanently Bewildered and Shit Sherlocks and Slow Readers and Tax Bores09 Feb 2012 08:24 am
By Dizzy

It’s a sad day when something ends up polluting your own safe haven. I’m not talking about Alex’s post, of course. I’m talking about NickNick, way down in the comments.

But, hey, I’m romanticising the place – let’s face facts, this place has always been a magnet for the kind of appositional dickhead who likes to think he can show us exactly how we’re wrong for thinking they’re cunts by using the kind of impenetrable logic often seen in the Red Lion’s pool room at 11pm on a Friday evening. Let’s see what the latest appositional dickhead in the grand scheme of dickheads with stupid, fallacious arguments has to say.

If a disabled person wants my help to pay their living costs, they should ask me in person – I’m fed up with money being expropriated from me, and given to any moocher who convinces a low paid, bored, incompetent bureaucrat to finance them, from my money.

You’re right, Nick. It absolutely should work exactly like that. Every single disabled person on a benefit in the UK should have to go around to every single taxpayer and personally ask them for their share of the money they get every week. It’ll be what, about £120 a week, right? It’s only fair, and it’s only reasonable.

Let’s see… that’s £120 divided by 30,000,000 taxpayers… carry the one…

Okay! There’ll be a queue of 2 million disabled benefit claimants around in the morning asking for 0.0004p each, and 29,999,999 other taxpayers facing similar queues and calling you a burst haemorrhoid. By the way, some of those disabled people claiming some benefits might also be working and are also taxpayers, so they’ll also be kicking and/or punching you in the bollocks as their individual disabilities allow. You know, just to save time.

I know this wasn’t exactly the solution you were looking for, Nick, but it does involve maths – and isn’t something that involves dividing by a really large number much better than just comparing you to a really large sexual organ?

4 Responses to “Shit On Our Own Doorstep”

  1. on 09 Feb 2012 at 10:49 am Have Your Lurk

    That should be “fellatious arguments”, not fallacious. You know I’m right.

  2. on 09 Feb 2012 at 3:04 pm Ivor Bigun

    It’s got to be said that there’s no such thing as disabled people. Most of the time I think you’ll find they are lazy spongers.

    Do I win if I pot the black first ball?

  3. on 09 Feb 2012 at 3:57 pm Mary

    Next time NickNick is poorly, I want him to come to me DIRECTLY and ask me for money for his medicine to prove that he’s ill. Same when he wants his kids to go to school. If he’s found someone who’s happy to make babies with him, which is admittedly unlikely.

  4. on 09 Feb 2012 at 8:27 pm Have Your Lurk

    Ah, see, Mary, NickNick has solved that problem by finding someone who’s unhappy to have babies with him.