spEak You're bRanes

Thanks to Damon for a bit of a change from the usual rancid warbling on HYS, where they’ve been asking how should people contribute to society?

This is theprotectors, who, for a change from HYS, doesn’t think contributions to society peak at being a cunt to the darker shades of it. No, the revolutionary idea here is that everyone should be nice to each other. That’s not really an idea I can get on board with, but at least it’s original in a HYS context. And doesn’t involve banning burqas.

If people in genral could be nice to eachother and show some considaration to someone else then alot would have been won.
The nature of the society has become harder more hateful.
How is this for a cree: Dare to care and dare to share.
What is wrong with that.
We all are human and we all live on this litle earth.
We need to wake up and start to take care of the earth and us. Stop the wars and so on.
theprotectors

That’s the way to go. I can’t fault the attitude, but the planning needs some work. I think theprotectors might be an ideas person, like Jesus Himself Christ was portrayed in The Bible. Or Genesis And So On, as we call it round our way. Obviously, the details need to be left to the little people – although leaving this seed to germinate with the gnomes on HYS will see it covered in internet cat piss and scraped into a conscientious heap fairly quickly.

I’ll make a start. What’s this? Dare to care and dare to share? No, that’s my stuff, I worked hard for that stuff and you want me to give it away to some scrounger? You a socialist? They’re the only people that share. Are you saying that we should give all our stuff away to scroungers? And what’s this about the world? Are you saying we should let more immigrants in? Scrounging immigrants TAKING MY STUFF? AND MY JOB? BRITAIN’S FULL! FACT! LEFTIST SCUM! BRITISH JOBS FOR BRITISH WORKERS! SHUT DOWN THE BBC! I DARE YOU TO PUBLISH THIS.

Thanks to Rónán. On that Bloody Sunday report a while back. Ever think it’s crazy how judges/PC liberals decide on goodies and baddies based on who does good things and who does bad things, rather than who is a lion with a plucky sidekick and who has bumbling henchmen and a skull for a face? Well you’re not alone.

lochraven wrote:
Isn’t it funny how people’s sense of right and wrong changes with each circumstance, and who’s doing what to whom? I think this whole incident should be called a draw. No winners, and no losers. Stop looking for a villain, it’ll get you nowhere.

It’s funnier how people’s sense of flat-head and cross-head depends on what screw they’re screwing into what. Where’s the consistency, eh?

Thanks to Scarlet for this one. The BBC has asked “Should gay and lesbian asylum seekers be protected?”. I’m rather pleased to see this comment as it answers a question I’ve been asking for a long time:

If life is so much easier being gay, muslim, foreign or just plain diffrunt, why not start praying to Allah or rooting around in the knickers of your nearest same-sex partner and reap the rewards?

Finally, we’ve found someone who’s prepared to put their mouth in someone else’s trousers.

If you make an exception for Gay Asylum seekers you are creating a loophole that will be exploited. If I was trying to get into the UK I would do anything to help my case. If I thought saying I was gay would improve my chances I would. I would even have a homosexual relationship if that helped.
David

You know what? I think it probably will help. Go for it.

What’s more depressing than the Daily Mail? The Daily Mail taking the moral high ground from the BBC, that’s what.

When commentator David Mercer said something during the Wimbledon coverage about some supposed “puppy fat” on this year’s paedo’s choice Laura Robson, the Mail called him out on it. With a straight face and everything. Literally tens of people rushed to voice the same two opinions (bad Mercer/good Mercer), and Jo brought this silly prick to our attention.

Sorry but I completely AGREE with Mercer’s comments.
ALOT of the female tennis players now are carrying TOO MUCH weight! You cannot say its “puppy fat” thats an old wives tale!
I can never recall Chris Evert, Billie Jean King or Martina Navratilova carrying a spare tyre of fat around their middle??
The men done have spare tyres do they?
Sorry but the girls are not fit – hence all these little screams when hitting the ball etc…..
Samantha Jane, East Sussex

Samantha artfully tops and tails this dripping pisstowel of unpleasantness with two shining examples of the arsehole’s apology. It’s the apology that isn’t an apology, the brother of ‘not being funny, right’. What it means is: “I deeply regret doing or saying what I’m about to do or say, but not enough to actually refrain from doing or saying it. I’m basically a complete failure of a human being with an overinflated sense of entitlement; nonetheless, I shall deign to consider your pathetic feelings by prefixing the following cuntery with the word ’sorry’, then you can all go, ‘that Samantha is harsh but unfailingly correct. And I tell you what, she’s certainly magnanimous in victory. I wish I could be more like her, rather than considerate and well-liked’.”

So female pro-tennis players: consider yourselves told, right? Fucking screaming barrels.

Thanks to Darren for introducing me to the world of scott. I’m not normally a fan of the long comments – most of the Have Your Say gnomes have already splooged their stupid within the first three sentences and it’s no fun watching them wank themselves sore for another thousand words. Scott is different. He’s not quite as cheery as Andy Kadir-Buxton, but his essays are not the self-absorbed whining typical of HYS. More often, they seem to be enthusiastically ludicrous “solutions” to the world’s problems. His brain is full of lego and numbers and exuberance and terrorists. Lots and lots of terrorists.

There’s just way too much of it to post, so I’m just going to edit together a few bits of his posts into a single incoherent mess. This might seem a little unfair but, really, it’s not. Every single word he writes is so awesomely mental that, by removing a few and taking bits out of context, I’m making him appear more coherent than he actually is.

BP never planed on filling that pipe up to stop the oil leak.
i know this, i told them 100% how to seal the leak by, making kelir air bags that explode like a cars air bag & block the leak.

sorry, kelir / kevlar is a bullet proof material. real strong & can even stop a bullet. i would say if it can stop a bullet it can handle that pressure. don’t even think a sharp knife can cut it too. so it would hold the pressure easy.

just think. if you are in a pool or spare, & stick your finger in the hole blowing out water, it will go in easy. if you try cover the whole hole with your hand, it will not go in / will be forced out.

That or freeze it with liquid nitrogen. run some thin pipes down to the junction, left & right 20 meters in. then spray out that stuff to freeze it soiled.
scott

I’m going to pause for a moment and give you a chance to bail out. The stuff above was entry-level. In a moment, we’re going to see Scott answering the question “Is there enough support for the armed forces?”. You’re probably not up to this.

Maybe go make yourself a cuppa first.

K? K… deep breath…

Taliban using civilians as shields.
Use
Heat weapons
Getting the Taliban away from the civilians

The Taliban hide within the civilians, they will walk with a group of civilians to try stop you from killing them.
So sometimes you will close in on them & they will run up to a group of civilians & walk with them, or will have them all at gun point.
Do this.
You will use heat weapons or Sound weapons to make the civilians & Taliban all move away from each other, then you can make the kill.

Try use the gun on the unmanned drone. This way when you get them 10 meters apart, the gun on the unmanned drone can kill the terrorist safely in a 7 to 15 metre radios.

Right now you just drop a bomb on them all, Instead of using a gun & using a sound weapon or heat weapon to move them apart. Well, you don’t use the gun, & if you do, you will kill the civilians. This is the way around that, heat weapon.

They will at least move them 15 to 40 meters apart in 7 – 20 seconds, that means if they are 7 to 10 meters apart, you can use the gun.
Put the same gun on the unmanned drone as the gun on the Apache helicopter. That gun fire about 6 m by 6 meters, killing anyone in the middle of that 6 meters.

Heat weapon
When they fill pain, they will run as fast as they can, that should give you at least 10 meters distains up to 40 meters. So sometimes you can use a bomb.

Try put 3 heat weapons into the unmanned drone.
Try start a easy system that the unmanned drone can use 3 heat weapons at once, & it can point them in the middle of them forcing them apart.
Even if you only use 1 heat weapon, it will still move them apart.
But if you use 3 heat weapons you could use them to move 20 people right apart.

This will allow you to separate them from each other, leaving the terrorist out in the open. Then once they are 7 – 15 meters apart, you can use the unmanned drones gun to take them out safely.
So they will be at least 9 meters apart, giving you meters apart to spray bullets at the terrorist.
I would say most of the time they would be up to 40 meters apart. Then you can use a small missile if needed.

Make the gun rotate 360 degrease on the unmanned drone.

If you use the sound weapon it would have to travel a long way/// the troops on the ground could use the sound weapon// but the unmanned drone will be very high up so it mite not work.
so you will only use the heat weapon on the unmanned drone.
I think the heat weapon can work from a massive distance.
So it would be perfect for the unmanned drone. If not fly the unmanned drone lower so it will work.
So only fly it lower if that happens.

The troops on the ground can use sound weapons or heat weapons. That will push all of the people apart.

Terrorist in houses with civilians

Use sleeping gas to flush them outside or to put them to sleep. That’s if you don’t want to use stun bombs to keep them secret for a massive war,

Use the sleeping gas to put them to sleep.
This way the terrorist will have to come out or full to sleep.
If they come outside you will have snipers that will take them out & you can use the heat weapon to move them apart.
If they stay inside they will full to sleep.
You can only use sleeping gas, normal smoke will kill them all if they don’t come out.
But sleeping gas will not kill them, it will put them to sleep.

So it said the Taliban got past your troops outpost thermal cameras sensors, by wearing thin foil sheets.

that’s easily fixed.
Start to put movement sensors around the bases / outpost.
Just like a sensor lights at your house. If a cat moves, they will go off / turn on. The smallest or slightest movement will set them off.

Even think about integrating that into inferred vision glasses / unmanned drones.

Must make new sensor to get around this Taliban tactic.

Even lasers pointed everywhere

The Taliban put check points of there own on roads,,,,

You must start to put boat style bacons at all your check points,,, so a signal that will go out..

So use your unmanned planes to fly around, when they see a check points & the signal is not there, they can blow up the Taliban fake check points ..

Iraq / Afghanistan
Check points
1.7 meter check points, NO more truck bombs killing 400 people.

WHAT DID I SAY TO DO IN IRAQ.
IF there is a area where there is more then 50 people, put check points all the way around.

No cars can be near a group of more them 30 people.

cameras at check points.
They will get death if seen letting them past knowing they have explosives in the car.

Put cameras at all check points, then see who is letting them past. Death.

Do this.

Also make 99% of check points 1.7 meter high. That will stop check point police letting them past even if they wanted too.

So only 1 road to the markets will have non 1.7 meter check points. If they try turn off, they will hit a 1.7 meter check point.
Know more truck bombs again.

thats just 3 plans that will win the war on its own. there are many more & they are all being planed right now / months ago, to be done right. thats why you think the war is lost. its only just started.

90% of my strategy’s have not even started yet.
i mean after all, i did come up with 90% of Iraq strategy minimum, & about 99% of Afghanistan.

so everyone should just wait & see. the war is over within the next 2 /3 years, & mass troops pulled out in 5 years, sending all other troops on the borders of Afghanistan, will massive strategy’s to crush anyone tying to cross the border.

i could be here for 200 hours saying every strategy. so so many, massive strategy’s. plus, don’t what to tell them may other massive ideas.
scott

Yep, massive. 7 to 10 metres.

From Laura, Ken and Kelly: How common are fox attacks on humans?

Right here in Woodford there are foxes who come into open kitchen doors and steal runners [trainers] shoos etc .They are as bold as brass, and very cheeky, the problem is people feed them and they come around looking for scraps. Wolves might get rid of them, but they may be a step too far.
Mr C Quinn, Ilford London England

O mankind, thy nature be thy downfall!

See, the problem with us humans is our duality and shit, the eternal raging battle between our loftier ideals and our raw, bestial urges. For every word of Baudelaire there’s at least two thousand glued-shut copies of Razzle littering the hedgerows of Lancashire alone.

And nowhere is our species’ tragic condition more evident than in these two generous slices of pungent cheese, thoughtfully cut by Randy from some HYS nonsense about some telly programme or something.

There is nothing to which television shows will not sink to attract bigger audiences: Ok, the lowest common denominator is where the action is, tells us a lot about our so-called civilisation!
ian cheese

An admirable stance, Mr cheese! But then, having spent all of three minutes drooling through his vibrating Bundy eyeballs at Corin’s norks, he gets the horn and we see his high horse bolt from under him to dry-hump a Bravissimo catalogue.

I hope the female wrestler is a lesbian & make love to the beauty queens & the dwarf will be the voyeur.
ian cheese

Christ alone knows how he managed it, but if you look at the above post in its original context, you’ll find it’s actually stained with gobs of tear-diluted jism.

I found “Nice One Son” gamely combining ignorance with arrogance and so mistaking “stuff he doesn’t know” for “stuff nobody could possibly know”.

Think the question was something like “Can science save the planet?”.

No they can’t.

Science still cannot answer basic questions;

1. Why are we here?
2. Why do we grow old and die?
3. How can all of this have happened by chance?

Basic questions that need answers.
Nice One Son

I boggled at this for a while, and tried to work out how it had happened. I imagined myself in his shoes and everything became unclear. The shoes were shite and I didn’t know anything. Then I forgot what I was doing. Then I decided to tell the BBC what I’d done today – in case they wanted to use it on the news.

The Japanese Prime Minister has resigned over a broken electoral promise and the BBC has asked a load of people who’d never heard of him before whether they think he did the right thing. I’ve just spent an unhappy few minutes reading through the answers in an attempt to find one that didn’t contain the word “honour”. There weren’t any. It got slightly more bearable and entertaining when I started imagining them all saying the word “honourable” in a piss-take Japanese accent. Here, try it.

Mr. Hatoyama is obviously a very decent and honourable man. By tradition Japanese culture encourages this type of behaviour. In the UK however [... goes on for some time ...]
warriorsottovoce

See?

If his resignation is over breaking an election pledge & simply that then he is a man of honour.
ian cheese

Nice one Ian! Apparently he was extremely worried about bringing shame to his famiry and had even contemprated suicide before he saw your comment. He asked me to tell you that he’s feeling “a rot better now”.

Thanks to thetastysoup for finding these on the subject of swanky new bacteria with synthesised DNA.

You can’t control evolution.
It only takes one of these bacteria to mate with another and you have serious and posibly extinction problems.
Not a good idea.
Hairy Dog

It’s alright, they’ve genetically engineered these ones to be homosexual bacteria-boys. They can hump each other til they’re blue in the membrane and never create anything more terrifying than that episode of Doctor Who where Bernard Cribbins kept bursting into tears and trying to tell The Doctor how much he loved him.

I love this next comment for the sheer exuberance with which Chezobarth7 throws unrelated sentences together.

Before this study continues we need to be sure that the “bacteria” doesn’t mutate like all other organisms in this world do. We all know computers have flaws. This scientist is just in way over his head and he needs to slow down. This could do more harm than good. This could be a step toward ending global warming or it could be a step towards mind control. Watch out it is 1984 all over again.
Chebozarth7

It absolutely, definitely is 1984 all over again. That’s the one where Dr Frankenstein tries to reverse climate change by making a mind-control hat and Richard Attenborough builds an amusement park full of microbes, right?

Dear Sirs,
As a physician, scientist, molecular geneticist and molecular biologist, I am deeply concerned about the implications of this endeavor. The multiple potential benefits of this experiment can instantly vanish by a single unforeseen catastrophic event.
AMMDO, MD, PhD
AndreUSP6