spEak You’re bRanes

Thanks to Tetsugaku-San

Maybe if the smugglers and pushers were handed out some real punishment, and the immigrants found pushing were deported we might have a chance of winning this war, because people, that is what it is, a war. Every drug user is one less soldier capable of doing his bit when the enemy decides that the time has come.

graham gillespie, Beziers, France

When you say “the enemy”, do you mean radical Islam? Because I think they decided the time should be September 2001. Or the Ruskies? Germans? Some hypothetical group of brown people maybe? Whoever it is, it’s such a pity you won’t be able to get a cheap flight on RyanAir in time to join the fray. But at least you can direct the battle from the internet.

Read this and you’d assume Watermelon Smile is just a romantic left-wing teenager with a Che Guevara poster and an inadvertently racist name.

I only hope Cuba is allowed to retain her self determination and that the evil USA does not construct this as some opportunity to enact her longheld aim, which is to invade and conquer. Viva la revolucion!
Watermelon Smile, ANGLELAND

And weird ideas for an ‘Angel of the South’

A white marble anglo-saxon dragon!

Watermelon Smile, ANGLELAND

But then David Davis resigns…

Good man! Rise England, rise!
Watermelon Smile, ANGLELAND

And his view of Cameron’s Britain seems to fit

Not much different - new boss same as the old boss - what we need is a BNP governement, so that people’s real concerns can be addressed, or at least a mainstream party that will start to recognise these concerns and thereby halt the otherwise unrelenting advance of the BNP.

Watermelon Smile, ANGLELAND

And he seems to think there’s some kind of backlash on the way.

I think it’s disgusting. This government blatantly legislates against the interests of the indigenous people of these islands on every front. This will only fuel a nationalist backlash.
Watermelon Smile, ANGLELAND

I believe there is a national socialist backlash brewing in this country. This latest raft of New Labour nonsense will only add more fuel to the fire.
Watermelon Smile, ANGLELAND

At this point I’m unsure as to whether he’s a serious Brixton nailbomber-type one-man paramilitary unit, or if he just puts on records of marching soldiers and tries to tug himself off in time to them. But then I read this post on Sharia and decided to laugh and not cry:

Most definitely not! Methinks the South will rise again. How long before the “terrorist” threat is from the English trying to regain their own land?
Watermelon Smile, ANGLELAND

I’m afraid “the South” doesn’t mean the same in Britain as it does in America. They can take our lives, but they’ll never take our cappuccino machines and sun-dried tomatoes!

I always forget what a goldmine of cretins newssniffer can be. This is the stuff that’s actually too nonsensical, irrelevant or downright racist for HYS.
Should internet domain names be opened up?

How about this for a domain name.

HowToGet50GrandBenefits@ImATerrorist.boom

Salford Scally

That’s very clever, but I don’t think anyone would want the domain name ‘.boom’.
What should be done to improve parenting skills?

Time has come to anhiliate pakistan and bangladesh from the map of the world… the muslims need to be punished…they have lost their license to live

Mohammed Pork, Mecca, Pakistan

It’ll make geography lessons that little bit easier at least. I suppose that’ll be good for the kids’ morale. Incidentally, I wonder if the Muslims have looked down the back of the sofa.

Thanks to Matt. These are about AIDS.

Sexual deviations, sex outside the marriage, unprotected sex and reckless blood transfusions enlarge the reach of this disaster. More funds is not the singular magic wand that can arrest this modern plague. Even when the most educated fall prey to the tentacles of this malady, one can well imagine the plight of ignorant fools who easily falter in the heat of the moment. It is a world disaster that overlooks race, religion, colour or creed. A multi-pronged attack is overdue in the now or never.
Aziz Merchant, Fremont, United States

I was quite taken with the idea of “reckless blood transfusions”. I expect they’re performed, just for the hell of it, up a stepladder in a cage full of randy hippos.

Sadly this disaster needs to kill even more and we need a few more massive disasters as well if this planet is to survuive mankind. there are too many of us so we need thinning out. It is either natural disaster or the crusades (christine v muslim) go full scale (not just Iraq) and we wipe loads of us out and include china & india in this too. Sad but true
Mad Max 4, St Annes

Poor Christine.

It is a disaster which is a shame because it all could have been prevented 25 years ago. Our governments knew and tracked the small group of promiscuous people who first began spreading the disease they contracted from chimpanzee populations in Africa. Had these people been removed from the population countless lives would have been saved. It exposes the failure of indecisiveness and political correctness.
Patricia Henley UK

If only there were more researchers like you working on this. I look forward to seeing your findings published in the “Keith Chegwin Journal Of Immunology & TV Schedules”.

Nothing like a thread on Mugabe to bring the amateur Mark Thatchers out of the woodwork.

As I said months ago, Mugabe will do whatever it takes, to stay in power.
Rick McDaniel, Lewisville, TX

If only we’d listened! Quickly, you need to alert someone important of these razor sharp insights. How about posting them on a website full of confused, prattling dullards squawking their fear of everything that doesn’t come sealed in foil, with a picture of their mum printed on it?

I think enough has been seen and heard to assume that most people want a regime change. The next election will obviously tell us nothing newand we have heard from the top of the Zanu PF party that they will not give up power no matter what the voters want.

So - what are the African and European states going to do?

I for one would chip in for a mercenary force to topple this government - it would not be very hard.
Jimbo, London

I love the idea of this guy going round Oxford Street shaking a tin: “Few coppers for a good cause mate? Yeah, we’re gonna raise an army and overthrow an African government. Nah, Zimbabwe actually. Thanks mate.” He probably thinks you can buy a mercenary force from Clinton’s cards.

How can we solve world hunger?

I’m a little unclear as to whether “angry man” wants wars and plagues or not.

I don’t understand why OPEC wasn’t invited as food production is going to suffer greatly given our future need for bio-fuels.

What the world really needs is a war or a plague. Lets hope that’s not what they are discussing and agreeing to at this summit?
angry man

I love the idea that we’re all going to be driving around in our vegetable-oil powered cars, desperately hunting for vegetables to eat. Sadly, it’s just about ludicrous enough to come true.

Banky Moon is an idiot. World population should DECREASE 50% by 2013.
Bob Hart, Perth SCOTLAND

I hope you’re going to do your little bit to help.

Sounds like the perfect excuse to drop ANOTHER tax on us….
Laird Kyle of Minogue, Minogue, United Kingdom

Did you say TAX!?!!! I knew this was another hoax, just like global warming or the NHS.

The ‘food crisis’ is a manufactured manipulation, along with fuel, oil, housing. I have proof.
james, sussex

You realise that “they” will be after you now? You’d best bury your shoebox full of proof in the garden and pray that nobody ever finds it.

Remember back when some big-cheese Hezbollah type got killed by a car bomb? Israel denied all involvement, I think their exact words were “Hahaha! Us? We have the best boom-toys in the region, what would we want with amateur shit like car bombs?” Anyway, HYS went completely haywire and they all started borrowing opinions from Hamas. First off - car-bombing = teh sex:

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Well done to the bombers. It will only delay further militant inspired bloodshed for a very short while. Militant islamic terrorists will only regroup and start murdering for Allah again. Security in the area has always been tenuous at best. This is the same justice that Hezbollah meets out to others for far less reason, so it is fitting that it be treated in the same fashion.
Walt K, Corona, California, United States

Did that man just say “Well done to the bombers”? Well don’t go congratulating Arabs too soon Walt, because, as with everything else, the Jews were clearly behind it:

This is excellent news. If this was carried out by the Israelis, then congratulations to them on a job well done. The terrorists have to know that they can be killed no matter where they are hiding.

Aussie Pride, Cronulla, Australia

And then of course there’s the sickos:

“They sow the wind, and they reap the whirlwind.”

Excellent news! Wish I was there to see it happen.

Murali Suppayah, Klang, Malaysia

Are you that cunt who keeps telling everyone you meet to read Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”?

Thanks to Jim. These are some of the most recommended comments in a thread about the military. Guaranteed to be full of angry pricks who want to drive BIG TANKS.. BRUM BRUM! BOOM!

“Under the plans the number of combat-ready troops would be reduced by 20,000.”

With around 6 million Muslims currently living in France and the number of Muslims in Europe rapidly rising, is this really the time to be cutting back on troop numbers?
Aussie Pride, Cronulla, Australia

You know what you are don’t you? You’re a slutty tiger’s worn-out fanny.

The basic problem with soldiers is that they are a waste of money until you need them, but when you need them…. you really NEED them.
D Dortman

I tried persuading my bank manager to head over to the Middle East and slaughter a few hundred thousand Arabs then bring back their oil. She was having none of it. Sometimes only the army will do.

“Should Harry be allowed on the front line again?”

My nephews are both out fighting like warriors because of their love of this country, in spite of their TERRIBLE treatment by Gordon Browns and his mob.

What’s good enough for my family is good enough for Harry. He’s a warrior from a family of warriors who have fought and led in some of the fiercest and best wars history has to offer. The boy has some guts.

Here’s hoping army discipline will curb his wayward behaviour.
Derek Bells, London, United Kingdom

It’s hard to curb the wayward behaviour of such a warrior though. He’s got generations of it in his blood. You start curbing and next thing you know he’s shot you up with a laser-guided royal spacegun and vanished into the jungle (like a panther).

By the way, I’m pretty sure you meant to put WARRIORS in caps there Derek. You’re slacking off. DISCUSTING.

It is DISCUSTING that Gordon Browns and his weak government are using the child of Princess Diana to garner support for their phoney ‘war’ on Iraq.

Princess Diana would spin in her grave if she knew that her son was being used like this, after all she hated landmines and wars.

Perhaps Gordon Browns and his cronies should be sent to war to see how much they like it. Of course, that would never happen because they are GREEDY AND NOT PATRIOTIC.
Derek Bells, London, United Kingdom

I’m not sure Diana hated ALL landmines and wars. Just the namby-pamby, crap wars. She was well up for the fiercest and best wars.

Thanks to several anonymous donors, I present further gems from the complaints log.

DAILY POLITICS
General
“I feel the programme provides information for the Taliban. A discussion programme lets the Taliban know what is going on from our point of view. I am all for free speech but not during a war.”

GENERAL TV
General
“I feel that the BBC should make a programme about electromagnetic weapons.”