spEak You're bRanes

In what is definitely and without a shadow of a doubt two separate and unrelated incidents that have nothing to do with each other and are entirely separate, ‘BNP’ and a swastika have been carved into a Mosque door in Mansfield. BNP associations with Nazism? Johnny Kwango smells a liblabcon rat.

Johnny_Kwango
I sense an election coming so a Swastika here and there will be beneficial for all parties concerned

An election you say? A bold claim to be making just on a hunch.

Thanks to Tim. On the salaries of the stars of the BBC. One poster has managed to get his head round homosexuals not being able to reproduce, but seems to have misunderstood the term ‘clone’ and concluded that they’re all made in a big factory. Probably run by the Liberal Democrats in a field just outside San Francisco.

blastarrbxiii

And it isn’t like it’s a natural sex obsession either.
All part of the ‘drip drip’ perversity of the multi billion pound faggot industry.

I don’t think watersports get quite the audience you think, oatibix.

The gnomes have just become aware of the shocking idea that the Falkland Islands might have real economic and political significance.

If there is oil in the Falklands Argentina is most likely to want to put in a claim. After all, they went to war over a few sheep the last time round.
Bill, Southampton

You know that bit in a sci-fi thingy where they’ve got the “knowledge of the ancients in a techno-cube” or maybe the “memories of the entire Zargoid high-council stored in a brain-laser”? Or maybe just “37 exabytes of furry pr0n”. And you know how they’re always trying to download it into someone’s head but the geezer operating the brain-laser/techno-cube is worried that “the human mind is too primitive” to cope with that much information? I reckon Bill’s family feel the same way about “The One Show”.

Our old friend BC/CB is back on Twitter again. This is as much as I got before I couldn’t be arsed with him clogging up my feed any more and stopped following him. It’s worth a look though. You see, while his fiction is wide-ranging and his HYS posts are limited to specific topics, on twitter, flickr and his own website, he can really get to grips with his true passion – the environment.

Remember 40 degrees.. That is what the temperature will be when you will start to think …Is there somethind awfully wrong?

I’m not sure I’m warm enough to understand what this means.

You can always keep warm, but it is very difficult to keep cool is it not? Do not think for a minute that i am a doom monger rabbiting on.

It’s very illuminating though. Cuger sounds like how climate change sceptics must imagine the rest of us think. It’s like looking in a pig-headed, gullible mirror that keeps wanting to yell at science.

At this point in my personal crusade, I must confess, I just feel, what the heck, get on with it! If it was not for my children I would…

Just let things exponentially evolve and try and survive when most of the population are dying from heat exhaustion..

Yes it is cold, but. Remember those childhood summers of blue skies, white clouds, the seaside..ect..WELL..Forget them!

Mediterranean summers, Mediterranean fruits growing in our English countryside, vineyards galore… Forget them….

Pestilence, disease, immigrants running from desolate equatorial countries, to descend upon us will be the new Garden of Eden.

Don’t believe me? Happy with your hedonistic little lives? You all have a new beginning awaiting..

See, this is really handy. I reckon if we want to win round the fucknut right to this whole “stop making the world warmer before we break it and die in a stinky frozen-methane fireball” thing, we just need to threaten them with a few boatfuls of Africans. Oh yeah, SYB shout-out coming up!

By the way. Stop slagging off my books! Especially when you have not read them (worst, have not bought one). You sycophantic blog followers!

See you next time!!

Pleasure to know you’re a fan Bruce. I’m guessing you self-googled your way here.

Thanks to Samantha for finding this chap, who seems a little bitter about being dumped. I reckon he should count his blessings. At least he got his winkle wet once or twice. Chances of finding anyone stupid/desperate enough to let him have another go are minimal.

Ha! There’s no such thing as equality in the UK.

Split up from your partner? Got kids? You’re the father? Sorry, you have no rights to see them. You’re the mother? Feel free to use them as a pawn.

Are you an unemployed white British male? Sorry, we can’t help. You’ll have to scrounge the bins to survive. An unemployed ethnic minority immigrant who’s never worked in this country? Here’s a house. Take all these benefits too! Is there anything else you need, Sir?
[FubarBritain]

It’s a disgrace. I was down the pub the other night, right, and I heard about this one chap, from Africa I expect, who had only applied for a library card but the council sent him a set of free ear-muffs, a year’s supply of mango chutney, half-price cinema tickets, a lifetime subscription to Grazia, a voucher for a ride on a tiger, 14 different kinds of shoe, an apache gunship full of organic cider with a personalised number plate, a technicolor dreamcoat, a life peerage, some woolly mittens knitted by Eva fucking Perón, a 3-Megawatt mining laser and docking computer, a fart-grill, three french hens and a FUCKING CLOUD IN A JAR. A REAL LIVE FUCKING FLOATY CLOUD. In a jar.

“What are your memories of the tsunami?” was refreshingly free of inane self-obsessed grumbling, idiotic pet theories or attempts to hammer the Nick Griffin into every possible debate. Still, there’s always good old surreal weirdness.

Please note that there is a technology to create and/or enhance any kind of “natural” disaster…

Tibor TK, Neuss

It’s like a hand-blender, but nuclear. You just stick it in the sea or the Earth’s molten core and you’re away.

I watched that ugly incident live on the screen and it has left me with a strong belief that the world is about to come to an end. I don’t think anybody is safe with that kind catastrophy similar to that which prompted Noah to build an ARK.

wodgot, uk

It’s a scary thought, but you know what’s scarier? Just the other day, I was watching David Attenborough and I saw a fucking COBRA on the screen. What if God sends a massive cobra to destroy the world this time? Best you build a giant wooden mongoose as well, just to be sure.

It certainly cut down on the amount of piracy in the south China seas area for a while. Sad that so many innocents died along with the pirates.

Paul, Sapcote

Like they say, every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe you should give Tibor a ring and the two of you could get yourselves down to Somalia with his gadget. Sorted.

I think Betrand Russell might just fit into every category we have except ‘miscellaneous prats’ and ‘normal people’. I found him grumbling about pregnant women. Turns out he also feels rather strongly about global warming:

Some say the world is warming, some say the world is cooling. Does it really matter?

Betrand Russell

It does to me. I need to know whether to ask for flip-flops for Christmas or save up to buy a duffel coat this summer.

I am interesed in global warming and science fiction, which are linked, so I have given myself a series of names as a tribute to my heroes. Does this make me, what the kids nowadays call ‘a geek?’

Betrand Russell

I must confess, I’m not down with the lingo. Is ‘geek’ like ‘credulous self-aggrandising gobshite who skim-read one book, agreed with a bit of it and decided he wanted to ride around the thickest regions of internet on the coat-tails of the great philosophers’? If it is, you’re pulling off that “geek-chic” thing fabulously.

Hasn’t history told us again and again that religious intolerance never works?!

Cindy Chaplin, Coggeshall

I agree. I’m off to build a Catholic cathedral in Karachi. I am sure they will be very tolerant there.

Betrand Russell

Good point. Off you go. But I warn you, the local Archbishop don’t like no competition, so don’t come crying to me when the St Patrick’s mob kneecap you and take your grey lego bricks.

Do you know how many refugees the UK accepted last year?

It was 697.

Is all this HYS anger and paranoia really justified?

Col, uk

Why is it that they all appear to be living in my street? Why do people believe the figures of this government?

Betrand Russell

It’s an optical illusion Bettie. The same Somali passes you on the street and says ‘good morning’ several times a week, but it looks like lots because it happens at different times in different places and he’s wearing different clothes.

Anyway, on the basis of this last comment, I think I’ve managed to diagnose Betrand Russell. You see, he’s naturally sceptical of any kind of authority. Facts, statistics, massive buildings right there in front of you, however incontrovertible they may seem, if the pro-government, BBC-run forces of Scientific Consensus want you to believe it, it follows ergo QED that the opposite must be true. Like, for example, the Hollywood Establishment will tell you it was “just an actor”, that they used “special effects” and that he might recently have “died” of “cancer”, but do they really think you’re too stupid to see through that?

Patrick Swayze will live forever as his character in ‘Ghost.’

Betrand Russell

Unless they shoot him for his views on Anthropogenic Global Warming, that is.

I found the “Should respectable middle-class parents be allowed to cheat the system so their gifted children don’t have to mix with oiks and foreigners?” debate and thought it would be a good hunting ground, but then I lost it. Thanks to Alex for helping me find it again. I didn’t realise it would be this fertile. Typical offering:

This country is run by lunatics!

I dont blame ANY parent who attempts to cheat the system if it’s in the best intrest for their child!

When we dont have major problems with crime, illegal wars, illegal immigrants, anti social behaviour, a broken justice system, lack of prisons, bent politicians and banks widdling our money away THEN and only then will I worry it! Somone who wants the best for their child shouldnt have to face this “idiocracy”.

Adam Stasiak, Darlington

Yeah BBC, before you go laying into parents for illegally trying to set their kids up for a better life, why not sort out lawbreakers, all those MPs and bankers fiddling the system, and all those foreigners using public services they’re not entitled to. Also Adam, I’m not sure if you know what the word ‘idiocracy’ means, but I wouldn’t write it off if I were you, as ultimately it really could work in your favour.

Why wouldn’t a loving parent with the best interests of their child at heart, be prepared to scam their way into a decent school, when the corrupt government which presides over us thinks nothing of stealing millions of pounds of taxpayers cash a year without a care of retribution?

If it’s good for the pigs in Westminster, it’s good for the rest of us to be as corrupt.

Withnail Xtreme, Camden Town

Can you just give it a rest for five minutes? There is other news you know.

As working hard citizens exploided by this corrupt, champagne socialist goverment our only weapon to defend us is cheating as much as we can with the school system, with taxes, with smoking in some venues, the comunist TV license, etc. I´m cheating and I will forever until this circus full of clowns AKA NuLabour dissapears forever.

jono onos, London

Note how Alex’s find, in his rage at Britain’s government and institutions, is not just totally, utterly and furiously indifferent to the existence of a single other human being on the planet, but, with all that unrelated crap about the fag ban and the telly-tax, we also have a rare case of someone whose incoherent torrent of bile actually required a bit of padding out.

Uh Oh- I feel another nulabour draconian legislation coming on. Council officials are about to be given the power to strip search a parent and send them to jail for fifteen years after bugging their house and following them with a video camera to prove that they have committed the heinous crime of trying to give their child a better education.

[ash101437]

You’ve got a colourful imagination Ash, I’ll grant you, but you’re up against some heavyweights in the dystopian novel genre, and there’s also a lot of bantam-weight competition just on BBC Have Your Say. Do you really think you can pull this one off?

Blah blah prisons yadda yadda something about crime thingummy VICTIMS!? I’m sure you can guess what’s coming.

In one of the Arab nations a child rapist and murderer of more than one child is to be beheaded and crucified. You can scream barbaric all you want but can anyone say he will be free to do this again or tax payers money spent keeping him and pandering to his human rights etc . If we could live the last moments of Sarah Payne’s life and then feel what her parents have felt and what they have been through our views would be somewhat different or have I missed something ?

Grant, Luton

Sharia for Britain. Duly noted.

Nice comfy cells, full sky tv subscriptions, the latest computer games, better meals than our children. This is what criminals get! Isnt prison supposed to punish the criminal not keep them entertained until they get released?!

Have them cleaning up our dirty streets, clearing motorway abnkings like they do in the US! Or even better a cell with just a bed and a bucket and bearly enough space to stand. That’ll sort out overcrowding.

Prison shouldnt be a time-out penalty box!

[bigo93], Bradford, United Kingdom

And sentences should be longer than just two mere halves of a paltry forty-five minutes each! That’s what you’re getting at, right?

I saw a report that said prisons were issuing hotel style satisfaction questionnaires in order that their standards didn;t slip! Erh, what about the needs of the poor sole they robbed, beat up, maimed or killed? Did anyone give them a questionnaire to complete in order to find out if their needs had been met?
More criminals should be imprisoned, especially habitual criminals.
Unless there are at least 6 to a cell, then there is no overcrowding.

lizben, Luton

I can well understand your anger lizben. Maybe you could find some small comfort by reading a report that says every night, a dirty great unicorn flies in through the window and bum-rapes the quivering prisoners with it’s magic giant cactus-cock.

We’ve tried being nice to criminals. It clearly doesn’t work.
It’s time the hard liners were given a try. Let them have fifty years to see if the tough approach works.
Public flogging for minor crimes like vandalism.
Hard labour for major crimes like burglary.
Hanging for murder.
Prison time should be hard time. When a criminal breaks down and wets himself as his sentence is read out, THEN the system is working again.

See Dubya, Liverpool

I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to read this post. Screw the victims, it’s all about my erection.

The beeb has rolled out its new Democracy Live service. Correctly realising that the problem with politics is there’s too much bullshit to listen to, it lets you search inside videos for things that were said in parliament. It’s brilliant, both technically and because never again will politicians be able to whinge that no-one listens to what gets said in the House. So wouldn’t it be ironic if someone completely ignored the topic of the post to whinge about how no-one ever listens to him?

I would like to know why moderators at the BBC often reject my comments, even though there is nothing Racial, sexual or otherwise offensive, save that that some left wing moderator doesnt like what I am saying.

So here goes. Why is it no-one will talk about unchecked immigration or the chance of the people of this country being given a vote to leave the EU, as we were decietfully lied to by both labour and Conservatives back in the 70’s.? "Oh, its just a trade thing!". Yeah, ok, look where it has got us now.

£15Bn a year worse off, not inc oncosts to business's, and meddlesome Eurocrats. Now they are wanting a president. Euro-realists predicted this over 10 years ago and no-one listened. Are they listening now?
Emzdad

Yes, why will no-one talk about these things? Why isn’t there a huge festering dunny full of comments about this, complete with an ecosystem of great big arses delivering shit, flies buzzing around surveying the shit and dung beetles proud of all the shit they’ve rolled up and sat on? Why, if Emzdad ever found such a place he’d find it so exciting he’d probably do a little poo.

Also I’m putting him in the Racists category because anyone who has to insist their comments aren’t racist probably definitely is.