Thanks to Nik. Thank you, Nik, for the aneurysm.
Why is it that my ears prick up when I hear a story about the possible extinction of the human race?
It would have landed but word has got around the Universe about speed cameras, parking charges, clampers and road tax. However the little critters that live on it were quite happy about the ability to enter the U.K. without the correct papers !!!
Christopher P
Ah. Yes, that’ll be why. It’ll be because it’s stacked with helmet cheesers of absolutely epic proportions who, astoundingly, would probably go to some lengths to argue exactly how they’re actually quite correct, erudite and amusingly astute, when the reality is that they’re actually just helmet cheesers of even bigger proportions than previously thought. And worse still, not only are they all keen to hand over their shitty, barely thought out opinions, but someone, somewhere, decided that it should all be interactive and we should all have the option of hearing them. Well done, someone, somewhere. You complete cunt.
Slowly, The old man managed to free his trapped leg, He was in what appeared to be a small cave, dust was gently landing on his sore head, a crack of light hit his right eye like a white lazer, he managed to crawl towards the beconing light, Silence was all around, Stifiling was the air, Bruied and battered he approached the #$%$ of light, As his eyes adjusted to the incoming light, It was with a Painful reality he saw utter Desolation, chaos, Destruction,… all was gone, all he had known, gone, What was that noise behind him? another Survivor?…Twisting his body around he Crawled towards the sound,…Whats that, a Face? Yes, I can see a Man’s face, With all his might he moved ever closer to the man at last, at Last Dust ever flowed down onto the old man, not now, surely he won’t die here in this hole,… Closer,…Closer he moved on his elbows toward the man. the man, was a Mirror……I Thank you x
Justice
Oh, fuck off.
I’m going to go out on a limb here: there is no reason for the people commenting on this article to exist. At all. Not just the comments – the actual people. I’m absolutely serious. No sarcasm, irony, no belittling someone’s level of education or the rabid nonsense pouring out of their feebly constructed ego – just to say that if there ever was an acute example of the pointlessness of human existence, it can be found right on that Yahoo webpage. Really, for once in my life I’m not trying to be funny. I’m just Having My Say. Look at these cunts:
Shame it cant be guided towards the middle east
Englishguy1
Well at least let a few bits of that asteroid hit Pakistan — Any Middle-eastern countries
Richardo Stallmanu
Come on asteroid, give us ya best shot! C’mon, right in the mush,…. right there! *points to cheek*,…. Ha! Can’t do it can ya?!! I’ll be long dead when, (if), you do hit in the future. Pity really as I’d quite like to see it happen. Hope it lands right in the middle of the middle east. Do us all a favour.
Chris
Yes. Do us all a favour. There’s three comments, all saying exactly the same nonsensical, ridiculous thing, intended to be funny but which, in reality, just leaves a taste in your mouth like a cat piss hangover. And on each of these insanely bigoted, poorly thought out, grammatically incorrect and badly spelled comments, there’s at least two other people in the world who agreed with the content of the post – at least in principle.
294 people agreed with the following comment, with some people even taking the time out to reply to tell Fred how fucking funny he was:
good job it is moving so fast or our goverment would have put a tax on it
Fred
Yes, Fred. That’s literally hilarious. That’s exactly the kind of joke that gets them rolling about on the floor when they’re watching My Family, misusing words like ‘literally’ and ‘hilarious’. Because the government taxes everything, including trees, rivers, individual blades of grass, dark matter, squirrels, thinking, pubes and especially bits of rock, free floating or otherwise attached to planetary bodies. But not books, children’s clothes or non-luxury food items.
Meanwhile, further down that thread – and for the sake of my own health, that’s the last time I ever go to Yahoo in any form, ever again, probably – there’s people who are arguing the toss with these people. On Yahoo. With these people. On Yahoo.
That’s right. On Yahoo. And now, I charge, these people are guilty of the worst crime of all – enabling. And it is they who shall be first against the wall when I go round to their houses and line them up against a wall. Because, and here’s the final conclusion to the first intentionally unfunny post I’ve ever made here: they encourage them. And you should never encourage insane people in their delusions. Not unless they’ve got a gun against your head.
Don’t reply. Don’t get into the arguments. I know it’s ultimately very tempting to take someone to account on their bare-naked stupidity, lack of reason, outright bigotry or any other negative human quality that people seem to think that the internet was created to let out – but don’t. Just say no. Because you look worse than they do, and you’ll waste your time. Send them to us instead. Or me, seeing as everyone else has died or got real jobs or something. At least until the domain expires because Nelson doesn’t give a shit (and why should he?) I’ll be here… because if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s making people sound like cunts. Especially myself.