spEak You’re bRanes

Should the Italian army be brought in to shoot brown people? Of course! They should be brought in all the way to Britain!

Great idea. I vote we get the army into some of our finest sink estates in the uk and tackle, drug dealers, burglars, rapists, muggers, old people beaters, joy riders, vandals…etc ..etc. Or would that infringe someones human rights?

Aaron Gutan, lichfield, United Kingdom

Don’t worry. Martial law has never been a human rights issue anywhere, ever. It’ll be fine.

It is appropriate for any nation to employ its military to deal with an invasion.
[Sunny-Meadow], West Virginia, United States

If only we’d had the sense to bring in the army when the Romans invaded Britain and started cleaning our toilets for less than minimum wage.

World war 2 was fought for nothing nazisms back
ant omalley, United Kingdom

Speaking as someone whos father fought in WW2 and lost 2 uncles, 1 at Dunkirk, 1 in the Atlantic convoys, WW2 was not fought so we could populate our countrys with illegal immigrants at the expense of the locals, it was fought for freedom and freedom of speech, the very thing that is now in danger.
See if this comment gets printed to prove that!
john Adair, England Not Britain, Virgin Islands (UK)

No matter that your comment was never printed, your tremendous personal courage in having relatives in the army before you were born has brought a tear to my eye. In honour of your heroism, I will allow you to personally decide immigration policy. Your brown Dulux chart and nose-measuring stick are in the post.

Thanks to Richard. Someone by the name of Raze has been experimenting with the BBC’s joke thread.

The BBC ‘have your say’ page has a thread about jokes.
as a test of the pc bbc I have made a number of posts with the following results.

My Irish joke was posted
My scotch joke was posted.
My George Bush joke was posted.
My jewish joke was posted (surprised by this)
My sexist men are idiots joke, published.

However my gollywog joke was rejected and my joke about mosliems was also rejected
who would have guessed ?

Next they’ll be making you let all your slaves go.

Thanks to Shoelace and Lucy. On the untimely death of Isaac Hayes.

Isaac?
Who?
Sorry he died.
Burry him deep.
All musician need to be so done with.
Else, they erupt again to blare with their stuff to bother us all again.

Music 2 Years

I’ve been racking my brains for what this means, and can only conclude that Music 2 Years is his stage name and these are his lyrics. I imagine a balding middle-aged man with a cod Jamaican accent.

What a shame. I remember meeting him once in a burger King in Brixton about 10 years ago, he ordered a double whopper with extra fries, and a coke. Just goes to show that food will kill you, just like Elvis, except on a tread mill, and not a toilet.

Joseph Steadman, Brixton

I once met Shobna Gulati out of Dinnerladies. I mumbled something about her play being quite interesting and she said ‘thanks’. Needless to say, if she should ever die it will be down to this.

Griff is hoping to end all war with the sheer force of his pomposity.

I know that this will not be a popular view but I am having serious problems. I know that sport and politics should not mix but we cannot ignore where these games are being held.
When the national anthem is played I do not feel proud, we must never forget our involvement in Iraq. What we have done brings nothing but shame on our country.
I call on the world now to declare that they will boycott the London olympics. Gordon Brown must not go to China, shame on us all. Everything is in our name.
[griff22], Exeter, United Kingdom

By the beard of Zeus! You’re right! Oh woe! Cry treachery! I call upon mighty Thor and his fleet of Volkswagen Passats to strike down those who have brought such shame to the shores of this once great land! Rain down fire and brimstone! Stop Gordon going to China! Ask awkward questions on Newsnight!

‘Lads mags’, harmless photographs of attractive women willing to pose for them and give interviews, are probably read by a maximum of a million men each week. ‘Loose Women’, a TV show that is powered by feminism’s universal hatred of males, gets over two million views daily. Yet the latter will probably be ignored - or, worse, praised - while sanctions are placed on the literary ‘filth’.

I joked about this once during open mic stand-up. How poignant my words seem now.

Political Madness Gone Correct, Brighton, United Kingdom

I looked into this and the show is indeed powered by feminism’s universal hatred of males. Interestingly, the set is also made from the skulls of hundreds of absentee fathers and the cameras are fashioned from the broken corpses of the viewers’ inconsiderate husbands.

All this can be a bit of a downer, so what I like to do is tear out a particularly juicy page from ‘Nuts’ and cut out the faces. Then I stick this to the television screen and pretend that Lynda Bellingham has her baps out.

Thanks to Sean. “How do you prepare for your greatest challenge?”

My greatest challenge was to see the BNP win a seat in the London elections.
Next step Westminster, then the world.
john Adair, England Not Britain, Virgin Islands (UK)

I’m not sure that sitting through someone else winning an election counts as a “challenge”. Unless you were really desperate for a poo or something.

I fight for a free England.

English taxes for England.
English law for England
Home rule for England

Rise England Rise, England (not UK)

Wanking to Elgar again?

Can society benefit from a class system?

Look around Briton today, what you see is the direct outcome of civil socio-engineering of a perplexingly powerful ruling Socialist class.
Where we were once great, we are now the laughing stock of the world.

It is probably time to return to the old values as the neo socialist ones are proven not to work.

The Reaper, Hell

We all know who’s responsible, but it’s not “politically correct” to say so. They come over here, don’t learn the language properly, shoot our King in the eye, and we’re expected to make tapestries about it. You all know who I mean.

In institutionally racist Britain, the class system is evidently alive and well. That’s to be expected as they are intrinsically one and the same (Polygenism)

To hold the idea that one person is better than another on the basis that 1000 years ago, a long dead relative got lucky in a fight and won is equally as ridiculous as stating that someone is better than another based on their skin colour.

To support the class system is to support racism, that is a scientific FACT!

Swiss Hawk, Interlaken, Switzerland

I used to think that class and racial prejudice were just quite similar, and was thinking of pulling you up on polygenism. But since it’s a scientific FACT!, I can’t really argue.

“Is the car tax rise a good idea?”. Go on. Have a guess.

This is really no problem for me - I’ll just sell my car and stop going to work.
Gavin Glos, Gloucestershire, United Kingdom

I wonder how long Gavin hammered the refresh button, hoping desperately that someone would manage to give a roasted, mediterranean fuck whether he goes to work or not?

I strongly encourage everyone to visit Bletchley Park because it’s the home of my heroes. Quiet, unassuming men like Alan Turing and Tommy Flowers who won the war for us with their wits and unstinting dedication. And then at the end of the war, they packed up the most advanced technology in the world and walked away, not to talk about it for another forty years for the good of King and Country. That’s dignity. Of course Alan Turing was a bender who never shot a jerry in his life, so what if you need a more accessible hero? Say someone who’s famous for appearing in shit adverts and bitching about the free food he shovels into his ungrateful offencehole? Thanks to Dan for finding the answer.

Mr Winner i coudn’t agree more - i am not very weathly but i will never holiday in this country, only a weekend break. Why would i want to go somewhere where the british public will be? this country has totally lost its charm. We do not understand service , the food is very poor , you will be look after !!! by a 17 year old boy or girl who really couldnt give a monkey’s if you being looked after either that or you will be served by someone who doesn’t even speak your language. It will 99% be raining so you will all ave to stay in the pub whilist every one gets drunk and of course the good old punch ups will kick off around 10pm, someone getting stabbed for good measure…….

I have just returned from Kefolonia in a little fishing village called Fiscardo, i will be going back there next year not Bognor (where that is) thanks very much.

- Charlie Fernihough, london, 31/7/2008 12:11

Dan says it best:

“The pitiful social pretension, the appalling grammar (accompanied by complaints about those who can’t speak English), the pathetic belief that it is “every one” who gets drunk and fights, and just not the fat arsed aggressive Daily Mail reading cunts who think that if they write a letter to Michael Winner they will be classy and on the telly, just like him, despite the fact that they can’t spell “Kefalonia” and apparently believe that they rowed the entirety of Fiskardo all the way back to Britain.

But to sum it all up:

What a cunt.”

Sorry Greece. Look on the bright side, when the sea level has risen enough to drown your homes at least Charlie Fernihaugh will have to find some other country to patronise.

I could download music and and the ISP would not know as I wouldn’t be on a file sharing site, I am not going to say how it can be done but it can and you will never pick up a virus or trojan or anything dangerous by doing it. I bet this doesn’t get posted
Dean Stockton, york, United Kingdom