spEak You're bRanes

Look, I’m going to level with you. I don’t like people. I think they’re brutal, selfish and stupid. Nevertheless, I sometimes wake up in the morning with the sun shining on my face, feeling almost at peace with the world, and in those moments I question myself. I think, am I the problem? Am I the one who needs to change?

Then I get up and take a look at HYS (currently asking: would you step in to help a child?) and BAM! Top two comments, pair of cunts.

You only need to read the ‘Sarahs law’ HYS to see why people are fearful!

I found a 4 year old wandering the streets near my old flat with no shoes on, in mid winter with snow on the ground. I had to stand on the pavement waiting for 20 minutes for the police to show up because I was so terrified of the implications of taking a half dressed kid inside to warm up. The kid nearly froze as a result.
Peter_Sym

No, I wouldn’t help. And yes I am concerned they would be abusive.

The problem nowadays, is that an adult is considered a threat to a child despite the adults good intentions.

Personally, I’d walk away, and if the child was hurt or abducted, then sorry, but not my fault. Blame the parents, government, society as a whole.
martin622

So the first two people we encounter on this thread are: a man who’s such a coward that he’d have watched a toddler freeze to death before risking any course of action with ‘implications’; and a complete monster who wouldn’t lose any sleep if he abandoned a child to some horrific fate, purely to make a point.

Extrapolate this result across the rest of our species. I feel vindicated. Equilibrium is restored.

Tagnut of the day award on 22nd July went to gabriel100 for his standout performance on the Graun’s Ian Tomlinson article.

I’d like to count the ways gabriel100 makes everyone think he’s a bucket of mung, but it’s much easier to just post a couple of his comments and call him a twat.

Completely the correct decision.

It was wrong of the officer to push him, but really it was his lifestyle which caused his death, not a mere innocuous fall (which even a frail pensioner would have gotten up from).

Tomlison completely brought it upon himself. A group of stressed, frightened and pent-up Police Officers are trying to clear a street. Tomlinson is being needless awkward, taking baby steps, refusing to move along etc. Thus, someone lost his temper and gave him a little shove. Its all there in the video – no more to it than that.

I have zero respect for people who wrongly demonise the Police, and even less for those who like to act up to antagonise the Police, then wail like a pathetic child when they get what is coming to them.

So, the correct decision is not to prosecute and I am equally delighted for the officer as I was for Sgt Delroy Smellie, (another cop whom that digusting rabble of rioters that day had unfairly complained about – they didn’t like him hitting back after he was assaulted, it seems).
gabriel100

They had Tomlinson bang to rights, and no mistake. Not only was he on the chubby side and sold newspapers for a living – common sense tells you that’s a diet of Micro Chips and Fray Bentos – but he was walking away from the police, with his hands in his pockets! That’s antagonising behaviour if you ask me. What else do you call not running for your fucking life when you’ve got a bunch of titheads with the mist bearing down on you? Didn’t Tomlinson know that coppers and dogs work on fear? And Pedigree Chum?

gabriel100, though – this crusty thong string isn’t done. Clearly not satisfied with the general thrust of public opinion in the Guardian – that he’s a twat – he goes on to prove that not only is comment free, but it’s also really shit and depressing.

I notice that the posters who disagreed with my analysis above chose to abuse my character in response, rather than take issue with my version of events (simply a commentry of the Guardian’s own video).

I will take that as a grudging acceptance that I am right on the matter.

Some of the idiocy on this thread beggers belief. Some fool actually criticised the Police for being scared and excitable after a day of being pelted with missiles and chemicals by an army of aggressive scum, who were intent on violence from the word go.

Many other countries would have dealt with that riot by breaking out the tanks and machine guns, and yet the feeble minded contributors here bleat about kettling and a wee push in the back.

Imagine you went down the shops after work today, and someone was in your face, not allowing you to move freely, ignoring requests to let you past etc – what would you do? You might eventually lose your temper and give the person a shove. Its not right, but understandable. And all the more understandable after having fought a medieval type battle against the far left mob polluting the streets and causing violence that day,

The British Police are the best in the world. Go live in Burma or something, see how you like their Police – you would come crawling back singing the praises of our bobbies.
gabriel100

Yeah, if you hate the British police so much, why don’t you fuck off and live somewhere much worse – for example, somewhere where the police might clobber you from behind after they catch you walking down the street the wrong way? And then try living somewhere they lie about what happened until a hedge fund manager with a camera phone shows them up for the cunts they always have been. And then when you’re done living there, why don’t you try living somewhere it’s easier to get to the shops.

Honestly, we used to be a nation of shopkeepers. Now you can’t even get a packet of Rich Tea without being harrassed on the high street by a false analogy.

Wow, and just let me say that I’m glad I got through this without resorting to abusing gabriel100‘s character! It’d be a terrible world where I didn’t spend my time arguing the toss with a half-blind, sociopathic semen stain with the social awareness of a sackful of monkey abortions.

Although it looks more like a hilarious tear-soaked pillow of hubris since his invitation was rescinded, Nick Griffin’s call for things to ask the Queen at yesterday’s garden party is, in fact, a bucket of curdled pomposity. If you manage to put your hand in there without being sick, you’ll be rewarded with a fistful of semi-congealed racist throat slime.

Here’s what Chris pulled out…

Your Majesty, we have met before, remember me?…. I am the lion that stands on your crown, I am the Dragon that is the spirit of your nation, I am the sword that rose from the lake and was given to Arthur, I am the blood that runs through your nation’s veins, I am the breath that your nation breathes, I am the morning mist on the downs, I am the heather on the moors, I am the sun that shines on the Dales, I am the mountains of caledonia and Cymry, I am the white cliffs of Albion, I am the beat of the Morris man’s bells, I am the sound of the pipes over the hills, I am the snow that falls on the meadows. I am the soldier who fought for you, and you father, and your father’s father, and his, I am the Gesith that stood on Senlac field, I am the wise old man you met when you were young, I am the young man your great grandchildren will meet, I am the ghost of the past, and I am the future…. Remember me now?… Your Majesty?
Sigbrit

Sigbrit, we have met before, remember?…. I am the rapidly descending silence every time you walk into a room, I am the pretty Somali girls who laughed at you on the bus, I am the modern world that makes you shit your silly pants in fear and confusion, I am the weird smell of rotting dog food that you leave behind when you do, I am your parochial bafflement at exotic foodstuffs such as ‘sizzling beef in black bean sauce’, I am the look of disappointment glued permanently to your mother’s face, I am your grandchildren’s crippling embarrassment, I am the ghost of your past failures, and I am your dismal future…. Remember me now?… Sigbrit?

Thanks to Dan for finding this ludicrous bow-tied nincompoop.

“We must continue to strengthen our military relationship …. For when the Stars and Stripes and the Union Jack fly side by side, we are greater than the sum of our parts. And together, we can forge a better, safer future.”
————————————————————————-
And George Washington is tossing and turning in his grave…
————————————————————————
Ladies and gentlemen, the noises you hear are not the rumbling of your empty stomachs, its the noises from the grave of George Washinton who is tossing and turning after he heard the above quotes…of mixing stripes with the cross…And the sudden cold wind you have exppearnced just now is not due to the drastic change of weather, its created by the joint sighs of all those dead people who fought for their independence of their stars and stripes from the Cross of the empire,
colonelartist

Whew, thanks for putting my mind at rest. When I heard the rumbling and felt the cold wind, I thought Mothra was trying to hump the Angel of the North again.

The empire is firing the gun thats placed on the colony’s shoulder…And the colony just like many other ex-colonies is happy to obliged..Dead men dont laugh, they sigh….the gales of laughter you hear is actually the people who are standing on the graves of those sighing dead people, and lauging at them…(I didnt say this , Kipling said something like this, I dont remember where but I remember reading something like that, and since I was not paying attention as I was reading it, so I cannot quote him word by word….Calrification to the mods, just incase they do with me what obama did to mccrystal after the pathan within him woke up and he said those things)
colonelartist

After laughing at you lot for so long, I’m actually starting to worry about mods myself… awful lot of mopeds around these days. They remind me of this Constable painting:

That might not be exactly right… don’t ask me to draw it exactly cos I was kicking the piss out of a heron while I was looking at it.

Thanks to Darren for introducing me to the world of scott. I’m not normally a fan of the long comments – most of the Have Your Say gnomes have already splooged their stupid within the first three sentences and it’s no fun watching them wank themselves sore for another thousand words. Scott is different. He’s not quite as cheery as Andy Kadir-Buxton, but his essays are not the self-absorbed whining typical of HYS. More often, they seem to be enthusiastically ludicrous “solutions” to the world’s problems. His brain is full of lego and numbers and exuberance and terrorists. Lots and lots of terrorists.

There’s just way too much of it to post, so I’m just going to edit together a few bits of his posts into a single incoherent mess. This might seem a little unfair but, really, it’s not. Every single word he writes is so awesomely mental that, by removing a few and taking bits out of context, I’m making him appear more coherent than he actually is.

BP never planed on filling that pipe up to stop the oil leak.
i know this, i told them 100% how to seal the leak by, making kelir air bags that explode like a cars air bag & block the leak.

sorry, kelir / kevlar is a bullet proof material. real strong & can even stop a bullet. i would say if it can stop a bullet it can handle that pressure. don’t even think a sharp knife can cut it too. so it would hold the pressure easy.

just think. if you are in a pool or spare, & stick your finger in the hole blowing out water, it will go in easy. if you try cover the whole hole with your hand, it will not go in / will be forced out.

That or freeze it with liquid nitrogen. run some thin pipes down to the junction, left & right 20 meters in. then spray out that stuff to freeze it soiled.
scott

I’m going to pause for a moment and give you a chance to bail out. The stuff above was entry-level. In a moment, we’re going to see Scott answering the question “Is there enough support for the armed forces?”. You’re probably not up to this.

Maybe go make yourself a cuppa first.

K? K… deep breath…

Taliban using civilians as shields.
Use
Heat weapons
Getting the Taliban away from the civilians

The Taliban hide within the civilians, they will walk with a group of civilians to try stop you from killing them.
So sometimes you will close in on them & they will run up to a group of civilians & walk with them, or will have them all at gun point.
Do this.
You will use heat weapons or Sound weapons to make the civilians & Taliban all move away from each other, then you can make the kill.

Try use the gun on the unmanned drone. This way when you get them 10 meters apart, the gun on the unmanned drone can kill the terrorist safely in a 7 to 15 metre radios.

Right now you just drop a bomb on them all, Instead of using a gun & using a sound weapon or heat weapon to move them apart. Well, you don’t use the gun, & if you do, you will kill the civilians. This is the way around that, heat weapon.

They will at least move them 15 to 40 meters apart in 7 – 20 seconds, that means if they are 7 to 10 meters apart, you can use the gun.
Put the same gun on the unmanned drone as the gun on the Apache helicopter. That gun fire about 6 m by 6 meters, killing anyone in the middle of that 6 meters.

Heat weapon
When they fill pain, they will run as fast as they can, that should give you at least 10 meters distains up to 40 meters. So sometimes you can use a bomb.

Try put 3 heat weapons into the unmanned drone.
Try start a easy system that the unmanned drone can use 3 heat weapons at once, & it can point them in the middle of them forcing them apart.
Even if you only use 1 heat weapon, it will still move them apart.
But if you use 3 heat weapons you could use them to move 20 people right apart.

This will allow you to separate them from each other, leaving the terrorist out in the open. Then once they are 7 – 15 meters apart, you can use the unmanned drones gun to take them out safely.
So they will be at least 9 meters apart, giving you meters apart to spray bullets at the terrorist.
I would say most of the time they would be up to 40 meters apart. Then you can use a small missile if needed.

Make the gun rotate 360 degrease on the unmanned drone.

If you use the sound weapon it would have to travel a long way/// the troops on the ground could use the sound weapon// but the unmanned drone will be very high up so it mite not work.
so you will only use the heat weapon on the unmanned drone.
I think the heat weapon can work from a massive distance.
So it would be perfect for the unmanned drone. If not fly the unmanned drone lower so it will work.
So only fly it lower if that happens.

The troops on the ground can use sound weapons or heat weapons. That will push all of the people apart.

Terrorist in houses with civilians

Use sleeping gas to flush them outside or to put them to sleep. That’s if you don’t want to use stun bombs to keep them secret for a massive war,

Use the sleeping gas to put them to sleep.
This way the terrorist will have to come out or full to sleep.
If they come outside you will have snipers that will take them out & you can use the heat weapon to move them apart.
If they stay inside they will full to sleep.
You can only use sleeping gas, normal smoke will kill them all if they don’t come out.
But sleeping gas will not kill them, it will put them to sleep.

So it said the Taliban got past your troops outpost thermal cameras sensors, by wearing thin foil sheets.

that’s easily fixed.
Start to put movement sensors around the bases / outpost.
Just like a sensor lights at your house. If a cat moves, they will go off / turn on. The smallest or slightest movement will set them off.

Even think about integrating that into inferred vision glasses / unmanned drones.

Must make new sensor to get around this Taliban tactic.

Even lasers pointed everywhere

The Taliban put check points of there own on roads,,,,

You must start to put boat style bacons at all your check points,,, so a signal that will go out..

So use your unmanned planes to fly around, when they see a check points & the signal is not there, they can blow up the Taliban fake check points ..

Iraq / Afghanistan
Check points
1.7 meter check points, NO more truck bombs killing 400 people.

WHAT DID I SAY TO DO IN IRAQ.
IF there is a area where there is more then 50 people, put check points all the way around.

No cars can be near a group of more them 30 people.

cameras at check points.
They will get death if seen letting them past knowing they have explosives in the car.

Put cameras at all check points, then see who is letting them past. Death.

Do this.

Also make 99% of check points 1.7 meter high. That will stop check point police letting them past even if they wanted too.

So only 1 road to the markets will have non 1.7 meter check points. If they try turn off, they will hit a 1.7 meter check point.
Know more truck bombs again.

thats just 3 plans that will win the war on its own. there are many more & they are all being planed right now / months ago, to be done right. thats why you think the war is lost. its only just started.

90% of my strategy’s have not even started yet.
i mean after all, i did come up with 90% of Iraq strategy minimum, & about 99% of Afghanistan.

so everyone should just wait & see. the war is over within the next 2 /3 years, & mass troops pulled out in 5 years, sending all other troops on the borders of Afghanistan, will massive strategy’s to crush anyone tying to cross the border.

i could be here for 200 hours saying every strategy. so so many, massive strategy’s. plus, don’t what to tell them may other massive ideas.
scott

Yep, massive. 7 to 10 metres.

O mankind, thy nature be thy downfall!

See, the problem with us humans is our duality and shit, the eternal raging battle between our loftier ideals and our raw, bestial urges. For every word of Baudelaire there’s at least two thousand glued-shut copies of Razzle littering the hedgerows of Lancashire alone.

And nowhere is our species’ tragic condition more evident than in these two generous slices of pungent cheese, thoughtfully cut by Randy from some HYS nonsense about some telly programme or something.

There is nothing to which television shows will not sink to attract bigger audiences: Ok, the lowest common denominator is where the action is, tells us a lot about our so-called civilisation!
ian cheese

An admirable stance, Mr cheese! But then, having spent all of three minutes drooling through his vibrating Bundy eyeballs at Corin’s norks, he gets the horn and we see his high horse bolt from under him to dry-hump a Bravissimo catalogue.

I hope the female wrestler is a lesbian & make love to the beauty queens & the dwarf will be the voyeur.
ian cheese

Christ alone knows how he managed it, but if you look at the above post in its original context, you’ll find it’s actually stained with gobs of tear-diluted jism.

I found “Nice One Son” gamely combining ignorance with arrogance and so mistaking “stuff he doesn’t know” for “stuff nobody could possibly know”.

Think the question was something like “Can science save the planet?”.

No they can’t.

Science still cannot answer basic questions;

1. Why are we here?
2. Why do we grow old and die?
3. How can all of this have happened by chance?

Basic questions that need answers.
Nice One Son

I boggled at this for a while, and tried to work out how it had happened. I imagined myself in his shoes and everything became unclear. The shoes were shite and I didn’t know anything. Then I forgot what I was doing. Then I decided to tell the BBC what I’d done today – in case they wanted to use it on the news.

Thanks to Throbbe who found “anti-fraudster” nearly answering the question “How should schools teach religion?”.

I think that it should be, but that it should include a full expose ( with acute accent on the e) of the mystery religions/ occult religions practised by many of the most powerful people on the globe…e.g those who go to Bohemian Grove and spend so much time trying to persuade others towards their dark tawdry and thoroughly kitsch rituals and immorality towards others.
anti-fraudster

Mon Dieu! Vous parlez Francais? Avec un circu.. ced.. squiggle sous la “c”?

For too long now I’ve assumed that everyone on “Have Your Say” was either a halfwit or a quarterwit so coming across someone this clever really knocked me sideways. Finally, I realise that my blase (with a very cute accent on the “e”) attitude has caused me to miss some truly insightful comments (with a hairy, groaning umlaut on the “o”) .

But anti-fraudster didn’t stop there. He knows all the isms you’ve ever heard of and at least one of his own.

Hmmm …ruralwoman…darwinism? Not without some trenchant criticism on offer about social darwinism and its horrible links with eugenicism, one of the most evil and horrid beliefs out there. It might scare people so would have to be handled with care. Which is always part of the problem. While some religious beliefs e.g love God, love your neighbour, are beautiful and of highest goodness, others options: child sacrifice, puttee, suppression of women, and so on are to the vast majority abhorrent… and can cause nightmares. No use being prissily politicially correct, there is evil religion as well as good.
anti-fraudster

I’d go even further and suggest that eugenicismologists invented the halon women-suppression systems and silly puttee I’ve been having nightmares about.

As an aside, anti-fraudster has so far left around eight comments in that thread, including one where he has a dig at someone for getting the apostrophe wrong in one of their words. I thought that was pretty rich coming from somebody who can’t even get the words right.

Anyway. What’s the answer?

R.E. should get back to text. There are some really really important texts that should be part of everyone’s basic knowledge. For some the text will never come alive. This is the same for all texts.
For some inexplicable and very dumbed-down reason focussing on texts has gone out of fashion. Education without a decent amount of focussing on text breeds an unlearned and malleable generation whose idea of debate is to shout unconsidered and unvalidated slogans from different sides. My children have told me you can pass R.E exams with knowledge of one parable. Textual illiteracy unfortunately. Where are the well-read in the next generation? Who is to blame for this shocking ignorance? Many on this board have little to no knowledge of text, and just loads of prejudice. Once this question is posed in a “should we be aware of important texts?” frame the answer is stunningly obvious.
anti-fraudster

So. Is it all about really, really important texts? Are there very dumbed-down reasons for things not being textual enough any more? How can we validate our slogans? Should we listen to anti-fraudster?

I tried to emulate him and come up with a pithy answer – a different frame for the question that cuts through the bullshit and makes the answer stunningly obvious. Here is the frame I made. It’s the “You’d have to crush me to death under a pile of fossilized mastodon turds, weep remorsefully for an hour over my mangled remains, pull me out by my face, then crush me to death again under another pile of reassuringly expensive, prehistoric tods before I’d even consider paying attention to this pompous ass-hat’s content-free, pseudo-intellectual prattling for a single, interminably boring picosecond” frame.

Thanks to thetastysoup for finding these on the subject of swanky new bacteria with synthesised DNA.

You can’t control evolution.
It only takes one of these bacteria to mate with another and you have serious and posibly extinction problems.
Not a good idea.
Hairy Dog

It’s alright, they’ve genetically engineered these ones to be homosexual bacteria-boys. They can hump each other til they’re blue in the membrane and never create anything more terrifying than that episode of Doctor Who where Bernard Cribbins kept bursting into tears and trying to tell The Doctor how much he loved him.

I love this next comment for the sheer exuberance with which Chezobarth7 throws unrelated sentences together.

Before this study continues we need to be sure that the “bacteria” doesn’t mutate like all other organisms in this world do. We all know computers have flaws. This scientist is just in way over his head and he needs to slow down. This could do more harm than good. This could be a step toward ending global warming or it could be a step towards mind control. Watch out it is 1984 all over again.
Chebozarth7

It absolutely, definitely is 1984 all over again. That’s the one where Dr Frankenstein tries to reverse climate change by making a mind-control hat and Richard Attenborough builds an amusement park full of microbes, right?

Dear Sirs,
As a physician, scientist, molecular geneticist and molecular biologist, I am deeply concerned about the implications of this endeavor. The multiple potential benefits of this experiment can instantly vanish by a single unforeseen catastrophic event.
AMMDO, MD, PhD
AndreUSP6

Thanks to Sophia for these (from the Daily Mail I think).

The last two major plane crashes (this one and Tripoli) have both involved early morning landings, and the Polish president was also killed in a morning (although not early) landing
Could there be a common denominator?
Maybe something the authorities should take a look at.

RIP to all that died.
- Graham, Torrevieja Spain, 22/5/2010 11:28

You probably all heard about that plane crash in India and, like me, your first instinct was to start investigating it immediately. You most likely left yourself a message stuck to the fridge saying “Remember to think very hard about what causes plane crashes“. You didn’t do anything about it though did you? No. But Graham did. He was all over that shit while you lazy fuckers were sat there in your knickers, eating crumpets and swigging champagne. Not only that, but he also found the time to send a brief message of support to the dead.

Kind of puts your efforts in perspective doesn’t it? Think on.

why are there so many plane crashes these days?
and i do hope they find survivors, its a shame to not see your loved ones again.
- jack, scotland, 22/5/2010 12:28

What do you mean “why”? Did you even read Graham’s report??? They’re caused by MORNINGS you prick.

You’re right though, it is a shame.