spEak You're bRanes

I wonder, when Pink Floyd wrote “Great Gig in the Sky”, “Wish You Were Here” and “Shine On You Crazy Diamond”, did they ever imagine they would be crassly regurgitated by a steady stream of self-satisfied grief athletes every time one of them popped his clogs?

Very, very sorry. This is the worst news I have heard or read in many years. The absolute BEST I’ve heard is thanks to Mr.Wright’s part of Pink Floyd. Respect across this World is well deserved by this Special Man.
God bless him.
Lance Sanderson, Bristol

I don’t know if you heard, but this thing happened with these planes and a couple of buildings and then…no, I won’t tell you, it’ll upset you. But maybe stick the news on for a few minutes between albums.

My wife and I named our daughter Piper Dawn, after Pink Floyd’s first album. Their music has been one of the few constants in our lives since we met. I would be hard pressed to say anything original about the band and music, but send our most heart felt condolences to Rick and his family. He will be missed. Rick, Wish you were here.
Jeremy Gray, Potland, Or

Don’t worry Jeremy. Richard (and Syd) will live on in every shit joke people make on meeting your daughter.

Richard, you opened my eyes to a world of keyboards. Before I listened to Pink Floyd, I would never have considered learning keyboards, but thanks to you and your influence, I have steadily began to teach myself a bit or two.

I’d just like to take this time to thank you, and you will always remain in my heart as one of my favourite bands of all time.

You’re with Syd now, and I will always think of you two lost soles swimming in a fish bowl.

Goodbye Richard, and thank you.
James Charman, Llanfair Caereinion, United Kingdom

Beautiful imagery there James. I’m imagining you wandering, grief-stricken, around “World of Keyboards” in Welshpool before returning home to stare forlornly at a couple of Odour-Eaters in an aquarium.

Thanks to Shoelace and Lucy. On the untimely death of Isaac Hayes.

Isaac?
Who?
Sorry he died.
Burry him deep.
All musician need to be so done with.
Else, they erupt again to blare with their stuff to bother us all again.

Music 2 Years

I’ve been racking my brains for what this means, and can only conclude that Music 2 Years is his stage name and these are his lyrics. I imagine a balding middle-aged man with a cod Jamaican accent.

What a shame. I remember meeting him once in a burger King in Brixton about 10 years ago, he ordered a double whopper with extra fries, and a coke. Just goes to show that food will kill you, just like Elvis, except on a tread mill, and not a toilet.

Joseph Steadman, Brixton

I once met Shobna Gulati out of Dinnerladies. I mumbled something about her play being quite interesting and she said ‘thanks’. Needless to say, if she should ever die it will be down to this.

It was a tragic end to a wide spoken romance. Anyway now Diana is dead. No matter who is responsible for the death, the world has lost a lady who had a sympathetic heart for the poor. She would be always remembered by millions of her loved ones.

According to Buddhism if someone has done something wrong he or she has to face the repercusions of it. So we should not worry by thinking that the law did not punish the culprits. Whoever they are they will get what they deserve in time to come.
Sarath Fernando, Colombo

Sarath is coming back as a yeast infection.

Thanks to Steve.

I just had a moment of bewilderment as I was browsing around the Diana stuff, looking at photos of her and remembering the way people kept describing her as “beautiful” and “stylish”. Is it just me or did anyone else think she had tiny piggy eyes and looked a bit like somebody’s gran had discovered the elixir of youth but forgotten to update her hair and wardrobe to match? I’m not much of a fashion guru though, so maybe, at the time, it was the pinnacle of hip to don a pastel trouser suit and wear your hair like a cornetto.

Daina want sleep and peace. Don’t distrub her.
pranee sriruangrit, bangkok, Thailand

Do you know what I miss most about her? It’s her lovely face.

Thanks to Steve. Poor Angela Marshall is still smarting over the death, ten years ago, of some bint she never met.

‘let the silly, delusional girl rest in peace.’

ilokid, Sudbury, Canada

Say that to William and Harry.
Angela Marshall

He wouldn’t dare! What with them being Princes ‘n’ everything.

Take Diana off the headlines and let her be dead, because she is!

g.mc arder, Belfast & Drogheda

Yes, we know she’s dead as u put it. Did u think of William and Harry when you typed that out then?
Angela Marshall

Come on Angela. I think it’s time they heard the truth. William? Harry? I’m afraid your mother’s dead. Don’t worry though, she lives on in the hearts of grey, stringy-haired cretins the world over.

Heston died.

A versatile actor synonymous with epic movies such as the Ten Commandments, Ben Hur, El Cid and the Agony and the Ecstacy , but also with films such as Planet of the Apes, Soylent Green, The Omega Man, Airport 1975 and Earthquake. Not to mention latter roles in Treasure Island and as Henry VIII in a Man for All Seasons. A supporter of Civil Rights and rather questionably, gun ownership, he was no doubt a passionate individual who will be sorely missed by film fans around the world.
Joe Richardson, Biggleswade

Well done Joe. You’ve now discharged your duties for the day and can go back to bed.

Very sad to hear of Anthony Minghella’s death, especially as he came from my home county of the Isle of Wight and I’ll never forget that great Oscar speech when he said ‘This is a great day for the Isle of Wight!’
A nebulous claim to fame I have is that my step-grandmother was Anthony’s violin teacher!

Proper Cynic

Call that cynicism? Fuck’s sake. You useless, boring twat. I don’t give a fuck if your grandad’s new wife once met a bloke who made shit films. Everyone you know is rubbish. Everything you do is worthless so there’s no point doing it. Your life is a homogenous grey expanse of decaffeinated, low-fat, plastic. If you gave up RIGHT NOW and tried to die of “nothing in particular”, you’d be shit at that too.

See? That’s cynicism. Or maybe it’s just abuse. I don’t know. I don’t care. Everything’s shit. Fuck off.

Thanks to Chris.

They say that it easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven his tv aside mr beadles eye is the size of a barn door and his camel is tiny this man was an usung hero in the world of charitys and will not be easliy replaced

god bless you jeremy you will be missed
jonny, coventry

It makes me weep to think that we’ll never again see his massive eye or tiny camel.

Thanks to Laura for these on the subject of Jeremy Beadle’s death.

On Saturday nights with you’ve been framed
Around all of Britain the laughs you gained
With game for a Laugh and Beadles about
You were a great entertainer that no won can doubt

The monies you raised all for a good cause
Lets not deny that you deserve around of Applause
You battled with poor health in the recent years
And people round the world will be shedding their tears

So i salute you Mr Beadle for being a Pro
That of which i think everybody does know

Goodbye.. Rest in Peace
Dan B, Northampton

Like watching a bloke with advanced Parkinson disease trying to juggle.

He was a little man with a big heart. Like mozart his real genius will only be appreciated many years after his passing. RIP Jeremy you will be missed xxx
Bill Ingram, Ascot, United Kingdom

One day his “Game For a Laugh in Eb Minor” (K615) will be recognised as the classic it truly is.

Thanks to Alix for this one. There’s been an astonishing amount of terrifying wank written about Heath Ledger’s death and this is one of the few I’ve been sent that are written by men. A good 90% of it seems to have been written by young women who experienced moments of damp-gussetted sexual awakening in front of “10 Things I Hate About You”. They’re now hitting that distressing age when they realise that youthful romance less resembles the Hollywood version than a series of encounters with enthusiastic, amateur gynaecologists, hell-bent on using their mimsy as a mitten.

Such a loss, Mr. Heath Ledger reminded me of a bit when that American Actor River Phoenix passed on..so young. Both had so much ahead for the both of them. I’ve never seen that movie Broken Back Mountain, my favorite Ledger Movies are still The Patriot and The Four Feathers., You may be lost, but you are not forgotten.
-Joe
Joexplorer341, Amman, Jordan

I don’t know why, but I have an image of you at home with a life-sized cardboard cutout of Heath Ledger. You’ve cut two holes for your eyes and a little window that opens in his groin so you can flop your cock and plums through. You spend your evenings stood in front of the mirror, peering through Heath’s eyeholes whilst licking his cardboard back.