spEak You're bRanes

We’ve decided to divvy up the gay execution thread, just because there is so much fail of so many sorts to go round.

These people are just human beings like any other. The only difference is they choose to live a different kind of life. We should not discriminate them from others. They have the same rights like every body else. Such laws are very retrogresive and create acrimony for nothing. We should learn to have respect and appreciate other persons lifestyle. We can not all have the same lifestyle. The way we differ in appearance is the same way we differ in thinking.

AUBREY CHINDEFU, LUSAKA ZAMBIA

Aside from minor typos and the fact that it’d do as much good to the world if Aubrey Chindefu had drawn a picture of a walrus on the screen in marker pen, this is an intelligent, reasoned and eloquent comment. I even had to look up ‘acrimony’ and I’m like, really clever. It reminds us, if we needed reminding, that Africa is a huge and diverse place, and the gulfs of opinion can be as wide between two next-door neighbours as they can between Cape Town and Tripoli. Of course, at the close of play, this had all of 3 recommendations because, on the subject of whether Africans should be killing Africans for having the wrong bum-sex with Africans, HYSers aren’t really interested in the African perspective. Not when they could be telling savage, childlike foreigners what to do, anyway.

Are they serious? Seriously? When the rest of the world is trying so hard to recognise Africa as civilized, why do they have to shoot themselves in the foot like this?

licoriceallsorts, candyland

You fucking idiot Africa.

What a barbaric and ignorant proposition. If Africa wants help from the west then I see no reason why we should not attatch some cultural conditions to that aid.

Killing someone because of a personal and private choice is medieval and reflects the emotional immaturity of African socieities. The West needs to stand firm against rubbish like this. If Ugandans want to oppress minorities with death threats then they can ask the Chinese for billions in aid instead, and see how far they get.

A shocked gay man, uk

I understand you’re shocked, shocked gay man, but do you really think stopping Africa’s pocket money will help? With something as extreme as executing gays it should be a simple case of “grow up or get a smacked botty”.

“Nations do not have a right to execute homosexuals,”

Yes they do. They can kill whoever they want. Fortunately we have bigger guns than them, and should currently be sabre rattling.

Matt, Manchester

Hang on Matt, surely a sabre’s a bit excessive. Maybe just pull Uganda’s pants down and use the flat of your hand. Or bomb it from the skies a bit, whichever works for you.

This is a difficult situation to comment on because, as a white person, I know I should be polite when I talk about black people, mindful of 100s of years of European oppression.

But, while generally respecting black people as a race and a culture, I can only describe the Ugandan politicians who are supporting this bill as primitive, superstitious barbarians.

I hope all the decent Ugandans do not allow their country to become synonymous with violent stupidity. Reject this bill

Rocket Scientist

Congratulations. You’re like, the least racist person on HYS. In fact, I’ve made you a special plaque in the form of a very small swastika.

I’m going to end on another sensible comment because we need to remain positive in the face of such massive, massive bollocks. It works best if you picture Ibraheem Hameed as the scatty but amiable vicar of a small country parish, haring into the church and vaulting onto the pulpit to gabble this short comment at breakneck speed, before dashing off to be somewhere else ten minutes ago and leaving his glasses behind.

Death penalty or whichever kind of sanction it may be for homosexual act, the poor masses suffer from it. It is not an act of murder or it like therefore, let them do what they think is good for them. For all of us are sinners.

Ibraheem Hameed, Khartoum

Cast first stone. Forgiveness. Amen. A sermon for the twitter generation.

Thanks to Ben for pointing me at this thoughtful and informative analysis of the recent European elections. Do I mean thanks to Ben? Or do I mean “Christ on a bike Ben, what the fuck did I do to you?”

The BNP won seats because people are fed up with this government changing the population of this country without asking anyone. That is what ultimately has destroyed the Labour Party.
harry portsmouth

I have to admit I agree with you there. It’s so annoying when you’re sat down with a nice cup of milky tea and some marmite on toast to watch the cricket, and suddenly you’re Norwegian and can’t enjoy any of it. Bloody Marxists.

“I’m truly sickened that the BNP have now got seats. Is this what my grandad fought for?”

I am over 80 years old and it is exactly what I fought for! Well done the BNP.
Average Joe, Belfast

Auf welcher Seite?

It’s amazing how Labour politicians keep telling us we voted for the BNP because we didn’t understand its policies. NO – we voted for the BNP because we’re white, we’re native British, and we want OUR country back.
Paul

Hear that Brown? Hear that BBC? PC Brigade? This was NOT a protest vote! Paul really is JUST RACIST. So don’t you generic Islington liberals patronise him by trying to address his other, legitimate concerns.

Great news that the British National Party have won 2 seats! I backed them, as did everyone I know. And i’m not one of these working class racist ‘yobbos’ the media make the BNP out to be. Just a hard-working Englishman that cares about his country and doesn’t want it governed by Europe.

God bless democracy.
Englander, Yorkshire

That’s fine then. It’s quite alright to be that kind of racist. Just make sure your tie is straight when you assault ethnic minorities, use tasteful pastel colours to daub swastikas on Jewish graves and remember there’s an ‘h’ in “go home”. Otherwise people will think you’re some sort of ghastly plebeian Nazi who drinks red wine with fish.

Feel like stabbing a fork into your own face until the stupid goes away? Well here’s Ben’s find. Like a magic eye, it takes a few seconds for you to see it. But, unlike a magic eye, it’s actually rather clever and entertaining.

The Most Curious outcome of this Election is the proclivity of the Commentators on this fine Website for sudden and unexpected Capital Letters, that blight out Fine Nation more profoundly than beef mountain, butter curtains and other Dimensional Junk.
Henry Dechamps, Hemel Hempstead

No time to sift through the shit this week, so thanks to John for finding this comment about glow-in-the-dark monkeys or something over at CiF. Quality.

This sort of thing is the future. I’m still more worried about a race of super human overlords than the possible cruelty to a variety of glow in the dark animals. Russian oligarch offspring capable of completely filling the screen on the original Nokia snake. The children of bank bosses with a genetically ‘enhanced’ sense of responsibility. How many of Richard Branson’s children will we have to see cluttering up the night sky, after having arrived in space without the need for a spaceship, before we say enough is enough? 10? 300 million? It is already too late.
jimmylazers

Thanks to Will. Lovely little comment this. Alright, his humour might go over the heads of some and he seems to think you can fight ignorance and prejudice with the online-opinion equivalent of tugging yourself off but, other than that, this is a rather good diagnosis.

Maybe I’m just wierd, but I like jargon, particularly catch-all terms like political correctness and social engineering. I use them all the time.

They are great because you can apply them to any situation – so much so that they have become meaningless. I no longer have to think before using them. It’s great.

Little Englander Xenophobe, HYS-BBC sponsored bastion of stupidity, ignorance, whinging and meaningless catch-alls

Recommended by 22 people

I like to imagine the other 21 all thought he really meant it.

Thanks to Jen for this comment from a Times article about an extinct species of giant snake.

perhaps the childish game ’snakes & ladders’ is actually a vestigial trace of what was once basic human survival training ? i remember being shocked as an 7 year old learning the true significance of the words to ‘ring-a-ring-of-roses’…….
Simon H, Anglesea, Australia

It’s highly likely. That same basic safety training is the origin of many wonderful games like “Tigers, Knives and Cholera” and old songs like O’Carolan’s “Planxty Don’t Cram Brittle Stuff Up Your Poopflue”.

I also found this one which I like because it’s nice to see someone so uncynically overcome with enthusiasm for Very Big Snakes.

Cor!
Fred, Bristol, UK

Thanks to Ben.

I am not against people being made to work if they are genuinely capable of doing so but I have read alot this week about the need to teach ‘happiness’ in schools because of, apparently, lack of parental gudance at home. Now the proposal is to send mother’s of babies under one out to work. Where are the jobs that will pay enough for childcare and a living and still provde time for that all imprtant infant boning?
Kate Western, Rochester

Paedo.

What I find fascinating about Have Your Say is not cretinous opinions expressed by articulate and ostensibly intelligent people, but articulate and ostensibly intelligent opinions expressed by paranoid xenophobic fucknuts between bouts of shrieking. The following is an almost poetic example of this, where legitimate concerns over the abuse of state power suddenly explode into an Wagnerian inferno of deranged conspiracy theory. You can almost hear the strings swelling on “legitimate rights”.

The problem with “non-lethal weapons” is that the Police will use them with little consideration because they assume they won’t kill anyone. They will also start to use them on anyone who stands up for their legitimate rights.

This is all part of the process to militarise our police in line with other EU countries. It’s no surprise that EuroPol’s logo is a flaming handgrenade.

Welcome to Fascist Britian.

[BritishSubject], Sandy

Incidentally, this is the Europol logo:

If you squint really hard, you can sort of see a boot stamping on a human face forever. But it has to be REALLY hard.

Thanks to Shoelace and Lucy. On the untimely death of Isaac Hayes.

Isaac?
Who?
Sorry he died.
Burry him deep.
All musician need to be so done with.
Else, they erupt again to blare with their stuff to bother us all again.

Music 2 Years

I’ve been racking my brains for what this means, and can only conclude that Music 2 Years is his stage name and these are his lyrics. I imagine a balding middle-aged man with a cod Jamaican accent.

What a shame. I remember meeting him once in a burger King in Brixton about 10 years ago, he ordered a double whopper with extra fries, and a coke. Just goes to show that food will kill you, just like Elvis, except on a tread mill, and not a toilet.

Joseph Steadman, Brixton

I once met Shobna Gulati out of Dinnerladies. I mumbled something about her play being quite interesting and she said ‘thanks’. Needless to say, if she should ever die it will be down to this.

This is the beginning of the racial war in the oldest democracy in the world, America.
Miller of the Dee

You’re right. Magna carta was of course signed in Philadelphia, Charlemagne came from Chicago and Plato and Aristotle used to hang about the cafes in ancient New York.
C L, Glasgow

A whole new level of pointlessness. Thanks to the work of a bored drunkard, the Twat-O-Tron has become /dev/twat.

Before you visit this link, ask yourself a few questions. Are you wearing a Glastonbury t-shirt from the 1980s? Does it have a CAMRA badge on it? Does your belly obscure your feet? Do you ever find yourself wishing for an accepted standard concerning the range of bar snacks that MUST, MAY or SHOULD be served?

If the answer to any of these questions is “no” then don’t bother visiting this link. You won’t like it.

http://sites.google.com/site/devtwatotron/Home

I have a girlfriend.