Outsiders


Curtain Twitchers and Outsiders and Retired Colonels and Self-appointed Sages27 Aug 2010 08:50 am

Thanks to Laura for discovering the splendidly named grumpovian, a proper, old-fashioned, mean-spirited bastard who, for reasons that remain unclear, was compelled to answer when HYS asked, how concerned are you about your sexual health?

Cease sex education immediately. What a lot of absolute tosh! In this world full of left wing do-gooder, liberal pansies, what do we need this nonsense for. We never had such a waste of time when we were at school, 50 or so years ago, and we found out what to do, as did the early cave men! We will be telling them how to use toilet paper next! Teenagers deserve what they get, as they have no moral scruples whatsoever, following in the footsteps of their parents. Don’t treat them on the NHS, but let them pay privately for their disease. Why should precious resources be diverted from real, and genuine sickness, to deal with the likes of some teenagers who, with their “sex education”, should know better!
grumpovian

Has grumpovian misunderstood the point of sex education, mistaking it for a simple how-to guide for youths so far out of touch with their essential natures in a digital age that they require step-by-step instructions in order to perform the most basic biological functions? Or is the raw, bleeding truth that he/she/it (I’m going to go with ‘it’) knows full well what sex education is, and simply wishes AIDS on the young?

If I wasn’t in a generous mood (and, as luck would have it, I’m not), I’d say the latter.

Delusions of Grandeur and Hypocrites and Miscellaneous Prats and Outsiders and Permanently Bewildered and Retired Colonels and Self-appointed Sages and Unfocused Rage18 Aug 2010 07:30 am

You might want to clear your diaries for this morning, because Heidi has sent in this Wagnerian misery cycle from Your Freedom, elegantly composed by a man with an awful lot of time on his sticky hands. He evokes his own train-wreck psyche so vividly you can almost hear him sniffing your chair. He’s a Regular Twat in the making, if he doesn’t cast us all sobbing into endless vortices of despair.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Wight1984.

Your argument is based on this in my view now wholly unjusifed position that women are oppressed.

While this may have been true 100 or more years ago, where is the evidence that they are now?

On the contrary, there’s far more evidence that MEN are repressed.

e.g. the UK pensions age is STILL 65 fo women and only 60 for men.

Ironically as women live several years longer than men on average, many men don’t even make it to 65, so it’s DOUBLY DISCRIMINATING aginst men.

And lookee here, we’ve had FEMINISM for about 100 years and especially in the UK for about 50, but NOTHING IS DONE about this GLARING INEQUALITY.

Women can get a state pension at 60 and men have to wait till they are 65. I wonder why?

Or then we have 100s of soldiers dying in wars or arriving home without the faces they used to have or not as many limbs or in wheelchairs for the rest of their lives, and about 95% to 99% of them are MEN.

Seems to be another INEQUALITY issue that the feminists aren’t talking about.

And then there’s what happens in divorces, with people like Heather Mills waltzing up and taking £25m of their husband’s – in this case Sir Paul McCartney’s – fortune, which it doesn’t appear like they’ve done anything to deserve.

HOw many MEN do we see marrying rich WOMEN and coming away with MILLIONS in divorce settlements?

Let’s even talk simpler everyday things.

Why is it that men on the whole have to ask WOMEN out for dates – and face rejection/humiliation if they are refused?

Why is it that millions of women still think it’s OK not to work and let their husbands bring in the money, like the footballer’s wives?

Whereas if a man did that, he’d be viewed as a total sponger and treated with derision and contempt.

Why is it that if a ship goes down at sea,it will STILL be women and children first into the lifeboats, and if any man caused a woman to die to save himself in such a circumstance, he’d have to live the rest of his life with the title “coward” hung around his neck?

So you are clearly swallowing this LYING feminist propaganda that women are some kind of underclass, when it appears that any OBJECTIVE OBSERVER who came from another planet would fairly soon conclude that it is MEN who are the underclass and women are the rulers of this strangely physically stronger, but yet still mostly enslaved and dominated other gender.

I’m now going to explain to you, what your probable REAL problem is, and who is responsible for it, and IT ISN’T MEN.

Men and women basically have simple underlying goals in life despite all the superficial complexities which muddy the waters, and hide the truth of what is really going on despite all appearances.

i.e. men are seeking a mate to make them feel comforted, respected and loved, and have a SEX partner.

If a particular man can afford it, or is considered a “dominant male” as they say, he may well have SEVERAL such “mates” either sequentially or even at the same time.

Women on the other hand also have A BIOLOGICAL MISSION, which once again is basically to find a mate, but this time with the aim of reproducing.

They want to build a nest and have chicks in it.

They want as nice and as protected a nest as they can get of course, and they also want the most esteemed mate they can find to produce the highest quality offspring and maximum degree of protection.

It makes me laugh to know, that one of the most esteemed (probably THE most esteemed) female author in literary history is Jane Austen who wrote Pride and Prejudice.

And do you know what the first line is (approximately) of that book?

She writes “It is an indisputable fact that a man with a fortune and X thousand acres of land must be in need of a wife.”

Her whole book is basically a treatise on the art of manipulation/seduction of a WEALTHY MAN/MATE desired by a woman, and the goal is to get his worship and for him to beg her hand in marriage.

i.e. the same old BIOLOGICAL MISSION of finding the best quality mate and feathering one’s nest to the optimum degree.

And WOMEN THEMSELVES have rated this in polls as the best novel in history.

So let me explain what this cry of “inequality against women” is really all about.

The feminists – due to their own psychological problems caused by unhappy childhoods – have brainwashed a large proportion of the rest of women into believing that this role of WIFE/MOTHER is some kind of repressed slavery, that has no real importance, significance, when in fact it’s the ONLY thing that really matters in the majority of women’s lives – it is THEIR BIOLOGICAL MISSION.

But finding a mate and having children is also quite a scary mission to carry out, it’s not easy to get the man women really want as Jane Austen explained, men can be very obstinate and relucatnt to commit, and childbirth can be scary, and women then lose their freedom because they have to look after their children, and in most cases then put their own needs in 2nd place.

So it’s very easy for women also to hum and har about it, to ask themselves if that is REALLY what they want to do, and of course the more “intellectual” they are, the more they’ll tend to debate it endlessly, rather than JUST GET ON WITH IT like the lower class, less intellectual women do.

And in that INTERIM, UNDECIDED period, in steps the feminist propagandist, who says that being a wife and mother isn’t the answer, and that a woman should prove she can do anything a man can do: – she should be a nuclear scientist, a poet laureate, a big business chief, an MP or even prime minister, and show actually that women don’t even NEED men, men are nothing really, so they aren’t to be FEARED.

Because women DO fear MEN, just as men even before feminism have lived in fear of women.

Because when another person has WHAT YOU NEED, that gives them POWER OVER YOU.

So in the case of men, they need women as sexual partners – they’ve got this awesome and overpowering biological desire which suddenly just appears TOTALLY UNEXPECTEDLY in their teens – and they also want the SOCIAL EESTEEM of having a girlfriend/wife, or they are considered “losers”.

And then men also have what WOMEN need, which is basically again the ability to give them children via sex,and also to give them esteem, give them a place in society, make them respected by other women, who will enviously look on if they get a “trophy man” like the footballer’s wives do.

Or otherwise the man ends up a sad old bachelor who other men look dubiously at, who clearly “couldn’t get a woman”, or the woman ends up as the “old maid” who no man apparently wanted.

So instead of facing up to the human and animal level biological problem of FINDING A MATE, the feminists divert women, especially young ones, down the avenue of saying MEN ARE THE PROBLEM, that the cause of women’s problem is the behaviour of men, which of course in the sense I’ve explained it is true, just as men’s problem is the behaviour of women.

Because each sex is actually trying to CONTROL the other, in fear of the possiblity that the other gender will use their POWER against them.

So tradiationally men use to congregate in groups, and to some extent still do, and mock women.

Not because they REALLY disrespected them, believed them unequal, but because when you are IN FEAR of somebody, you try to pretend they don’t have the power over you that they actually do.

So all the feminists are doing is basically the same but as regards MEN.

Trying to cut men down to size, humiliate them, so they don’t have to feel AFRAID of them any more.

And naturally because ALL women have got some of this fear, just as all men have some fear of women, lots of young women especially who haven’t yet “got their man” and are in fear of whether they ever will, are easisly persauded to join in the “protest” about the fact that they can’t control men as much as they’d like.

But even worse, by the feminists proposing the solution for the girl/woman who is unhappy about her inability to control the men she desires to, who won’t do what she wants them to do , that they should COMPETE FOR JOBS with men, show they can outdo men in the workplace, they gives a huge problem to a lot of women who DO NOT wish to compete with men or even necessarily enter the workplace at all.

Women in the past were not EXPECTED to be in the workplace, and certainly not in any difficult or responsible job, they were basically just awaiting the day they would marry.

So even if they had some kind of a job as nurse, secretary, teacher or whatever, it was only ever considred to be temporary, except perhaps in older age when their children didn’t need them any more, and they could retake whatever they wanted, for both the money and the feeling of being part of society, involved and contributing in some way.

e.g. many wealthy women who don’t need to work, and probably don’t WANT an ordinary job, because they don’t want to do things they aren’t interested in, or be bossed around, get involved in charity fundraising and so on.

But the problem is that a lot of women are not AMBITIOUS, PUSHY, OUTGOING, they do not WANT to shove their way into “the big bad world” they are NATURALLY reserved, or shy, and there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s party of their natural self-protective instinct.

Getting a job is not just an activity, it’s being forced to interact with A SOCIAL GROUP, with its PECKING ORDER, and few people who work will not be subject to some kind of abuse or even overt bullying.

You are forced to be with people you often don’t like and almost certainly would never choose as friends.

Envy, competition, rivalry, dislike or even outright hate, and all sorts of other ugly emotions, run rife in the average workplace, so it’s a potentially very threatening environment for a woman, especially a more refined, cultured or sensitive one.

And how have the feminists addressed this problem of women?

They have said, if YOU as a woman can’t hack it in the workplace, if you can’t get a job like men do, if all you can do is keep house and feed babies, you are INADEQUATE.

You should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

You are letting down WOMEN, in their “heroic struggle” to get equality with men, you’re letting down all the millions of women who have been abused, repressed and brutalised by men throughout the ages.

And that’s all NONSENSE.

Throughout the ages, the REAL truth is that as now, MOST men have been the servant, slaves and worshippers of women, and the only women who have complained about it are the ones who CAN’T GET A MAN TO SERVE AND WORSHIP THEM.

e.g. we don’t see footballer’s wives attending feminist study groups.

So I don’t know how old you are, but the reality for young women is simple.

There’s nothing wrong with you getting a job if you want one, but bear in mind there’s a man/boy out there, who’s trying to make his way in life, and HE is your potential mate.

He – and I’m in contact with young men who at times let me into their private thoughts – believes that to be worthy of YOU, being YOUR mate, he has to have A GOOD JOB.

And so if YOU take the job that HE NEEDS to be a respected member of his community, and thus to be deemed worthy of marrying (eventually) YOU, then when it comes to the time you want a mate, HE no longer exists for you.

He is getting drunk in a bar somewhere, bemoaing his failure, or maybe even commited sucide after his failure to SUCCEED.

Do you know, yet another “equality” is that between 4 and 6 time as many MEN/BOYS worldwide are committing SUICIDE than women/girls?

So clearly MEN/BOYS are now under some kind of presure that women/girls are not.

And that pressure is to SUCCEED.

Almost ANY woman can find SOME man or other, on her own level of looks/class/intelligence to mate/marry with, and SHE does not need a job.

But for a man, if he doesn’t “get that job” he is NOTHING, society regards him as a failure, a loser, somebody who should go hang his head in shame, and yes, it might well be better for himself and everyone else if he decided to “end it all.”

And that’s no joke – that’s EXACTLY what numerous young men and even older ones rejected by the system are doing, and even if they aren’t going that far, millions have now gone into addiction to prescripton or illegal drugs.

Have you not seen all the endless DEMANDS to legalise cannabis on here?

What’s THAT all about?

And I can guarantee you few or no women are starting those threads, or supporting them, the drug problem – prostitution aside – it is almost entirely a problem affecting MEN.

Women who use drugs – alcohol and tobacoo excepted – are usually only dragged into it if their partner does, and otherwise wouldn’t do so, except for the posh little rich girls who do cocaine and so on, desperatly seeking attention for their unloved and miserable lives.

So THIS is what’s really going on out there: men/boys being destroyed, and feminists smugly laughing at it vengefully out of their hate for everything male, and INNOCENT women/girls in the middle getting conned into believing that the male is their natural enemy who is suppressing them, when actually he is what they most need as a friend, protector and mate.

It’s appalling, and anybody can see this is what is really going on, if they stop looking through the eyes of prejudice and hate, which emotional states are mainly just brought about by FEAR.

AS I’ve said, boys/men are JUST AS AFRAID, or more so, as women/girls are of men.

Life is scary, uncertain for all of us, and demonising and scapegoating the other gender as the feminists are doing, is no way to security for any of us, quite the opposite, causing estrangement, competition and hate, between those beings – men and women, boys and girls – who should be cooperating, supporting, befriending and loving one another.

Like I said, most womem who get assaulted behave in such a way that they effectively bring it on themselves.

You don’t agree that, because you think women should have a freedom in society that is just not realistic, and no SENSIBLE women (you know, most of whom have NEVER been sexually assaulted) agree with YOU.

If you don’t want women to get raped, it’s REALLY EASY.

I’m going to give an even longer list of things women SHOULDN’T DO now, seeing as you have now annoyed me.

1. Don’t go in bars alone or even with just one girlfriend unless you are getting WELL KNOWN taxis to and fro door to door and preferably a relative or friend instead of a taxi.

2. Don’t walk in any public area on your own. You can get away with it in crowded city centres, as long as you stick to the CROWDED areas, avoid quiet streets where you could be dragged into a back alley or whatever without anyone noticing.

(university campuses tends to have a lot of these dodgy little quiet parts, and hence we find a lot of girl students get attacked).

3. Don’t dress in public in any provocative way. Not EVER. When you are married, your body is FOR HIS EYES ONLY.

4. Avoid mixed sex work places, and if you have a choice, don’t work at all, because as soon as you do, if you’re attractive, every male in the workplace will see you as an object of quarry/sexual fantasy.

If their parents can’t, THE STATE should support unmarried girls who need the money with basic benefits, and such girls/women should be entitled to refuse any work or not work at all if they please, as any form of work is a potential threat to their security.

If you must work, pick a female dominated environment like a hospital, typing pool or a girl’s or junior school.

If you expose yourself to public view on a routine basis, you will become an object of fantasy to any male who is able to see you regularly (but if you’re mostly covered up, that won’t happen much even if you are visible in face).

5. Don’t ever go alone on buses or trains if you can avoid it, or certainly not regularly or in any place you are not familiar with.

6. Don’t get drunk and incapable, because you think you can trust your girlfriends, but you may be wrong when they too have had a lot to drink.

7. Don’t have men friends except relatives, foolishly imagining you can have an “only friends” relationship with a boy/man, because any male friend of your own age if he finds you attractive (which you may not realise) will see you as a potential mate, and thus you can’t guarantee he won’t try to make the “friendship” physical sooner or later. It’s that old thing called his BIOLOGICAL MISSION “popping up” again.

8. Don’t tease with or flirt with men ANYWHERE. They’ll imagine you might want to have sex with them, when maybe all you were doing was trying to get served first at the bar, or “being friendly.”

9. Find a mate/marriage partner via one of your relatives or friends, (or some civilised group you can safely be part of like a church or whatever) and don’t EVER agree to go out with a man who you haven’t checked out thoroughly, and you wouldn’t see as long term relationship/marriage material.

10. Don’t go to university or college after 16 and attend a single sex girls’ school before 16, not a dreaded and dangerous comprehensive, full of boys all hoping to sneak a peek at you in the showers or be the first to rob you of your “virtue.”

If you want a degree, go to a girl’s only college or do an Open University degree.

We need to open some WOMEN ONLY universities/colleges for women who want to be doctors or teachers etc., and don’t want to be harrassed at such an early age.

You can stil have a social life amongst family and trusted friends.

Just make sure you are always (when out) part of a LARGE and (adequately sober) GROUP.

There you are – there’s govt helper’s 10 commandments.

If you follow ALL of those, your chances of getting even sexually assaulted, let alone raped, are almost zero.

PS and if you protest at any of those, you think you should have “more freedom”, undestand that boys and men have to be careful of thier movement too, not usually for fear of rape, but for fear or violent assualt, that can happen to men in all kinds of place – e.g. pub toilets – you wouldn’t even dream about, and for very flimsy reasons (e.g. somebody decides “you gave them a dirty look” or “you were ogling my girlfriend/wife”)

So please GROW UP and realise men have got LOADS of problems like women have too, and have to take LOTS of care with their own personal safety, just like women do.

You only have to read the news, and you see that grown men get beaten to death on a fairly regular basis by gangs of one kind or another, usually for some flimsy reason like complaining about the noise they were making or whatever.
govt_helper

I’m assuming govt_helper has recently suffered some rejection/humiliation himself.

And by ‘assuming’, I mean ‘hoping’.

Miscellaneous Prats and Outsiders and Permanently Bewildered and Plain Weird and Self-appointed Sages13 Aug 2010 08:58 am

Something about UFOs. Should we take them more seriously? Probably. It’s like HYS. You’re desperately looking for signs of intelligence, but all you find is a paranoid bunch of ballaches going on about the same things over and over and over again.

These alien visitation people are usually very boring and very mental – so much so that these deluded idiots going on about space aliens and probes are just too much for JohnH. Let’s get some science rolling. Some long, windy, science.

Let me explain the science as simply as possible.

You are on a fairground ride, the ‘waltzer’ being spun around very fast. You cannot move your arm, why? Newtons Law of Thermodynamics. A body accelerating increases in effective mass (weight). Go then on the swinging boat thing, as you swing back and forth you feel a lightness in your stomach. This is due to decelerating and a reduction in effective mass (weightlessness).

Now; send up a rocket and travel faster and faster. There has to be a limit and it is the speed of light. Travel at the speed of light (SoL) and you weigh infinity. So if you can only travel at or near SoL it would take 5 years to reach the nearest star and 200 years to reach the nearest S3 planet (its all to do with diameter and distance from a sun – try and keep up!).

So; if aliens are here they have found away to travel by other means. ALL science fiction writers know this. That is why StarTrek uses warp speed, StarWars uses hyperspace, Issac Assimov wrote about traveling in Parsecs etc.

If aliens are here, and its a big if, their technology is so far ahead of ours that to explain it would be like trying to explain the workings of your computer….. to a slug.

And yet.

They are supposed to have ‘crashed’ a spaceship at Roswell in the 1950′s.

So an alien technology that dwarfs ours rides around the skies like a boy-racer on a saturday night.

I don’t think so.

Remember what Hannibal Lectur said in ‘silence of the lambs’…..

“What is it in it’s self”

UFO’s are exactly what it says on the tin, an Unidentified Flying Object.

We do not know what it is and it’s pointless guessing.

Finally, a childrens poem about 5 blind men and an elephant.

None had seen an elephant (obviously) but knew it to be different from all other animals. So they went to find an elephant, and when told one was in a field they each intern approaced it.

The first grabbed it by its tail ‘its like a rope’

The second grabbed a leg ‘its like a tree’

The third touched its side ‘its like a wall’

The fourth grabbed an ear ‘its like a fan’

The fifth grabbed a tusk ‘its like a spear’

To conclude – each went their way, each to sing their song, but though the were all partially right, they were all completlly wrong.

With less to go on than the blind men lets stop guessing shall we?
JohnH

That’s some serious scientific reality there. After getting through that BSc material, I’m feeling about as real as you could possibly get. Normally I float around the place in a daze, but “Newtons Law of Thermodynamics” grounded me like a drunk pilot. Accepting the advanced knowledge of Gene Roddenberry and George Lucas in making shit up took me a step closer to accepting cruel, atomic level reality; and when I got to Isaac Asimov – sorry, Issac Assimov – “traveling in Parsecs” I definitely knew I existed, because I lost control of my bladder. But if I was in any doubt as to how real things could get, the elephant poem effectively cut off my balls and stuffed them in my ears.

I’m very glad I’m real, and not just some kind of massive cunt squatting in someone’s febrile imagination.

I find the subject of UFO’s as funny as the site ‘speak your branes’.
The former do not exist (they are just unidentified flying objects) not flying saucers. QED: Figments of your imagination.
The latter do not exist (they are just dullards who need to learn the English language) being figments of their own imagination.
reflector2

Oh, no! Everything I thought about myself was wrong! JohnH had me believing it, and now reality has been pulled from under my feet like Peter Venkman pulled out the tablecloth from under the flowers in Ghostbusters! Remember that? They caught ghosts, though, not aliens. Ghosts are real. “And the flowers are still standing!” Hilarious. They were in the dining room of the hotel, and they were looking for Slimer? And they had those awesome particle streamers? They were real. Weren’t they? Weren’t they… oh, n-

Miscellaneous Prats and Outsiders and Racists and Shit Sherlocks05 Aug 2010 10:10 am

HomoSafari. It’s like dipping your face into a bucket full of shit and razor blades marinated in lemon juice.

There is nothing racist or fascist about:

1) wanting to maintain one’s cultural heritage
2) opposing the undemocratic and expansionist New European Empire
4) opposing immigration scams
3) wanting an ecologically sustainable level of population

Your ‘lefty’ insults are pathetic.
HomoSafari

I’d just like to add:

9) something something indigenous white working class
d) wankburger
Я) islamofascism

So that’s the immigrants and the socialists told good and proper, then. Good job. Who else would you like to blame?

This is what misandric feminist bigots have wanted all along, to destroy the male role in society and the fraudulent ‘liberal’ media have colluded with them.

I am glad that I am the ‘wrong’ side of 40 and old enough to remember when men were not subject to institutionalised so-called ‘positive’ discrimination.
HomoSafari

Yeah. The good old days. When men were men and when you were still a massive gobshite.

Funny. I read HomoSafari‘s impression of Britain’s cultural heritage – the one where everyone’s a vicious, misogynistic, selfish racist with views on homosexuality so offensive they get censored within two minutes of being aired – and I’m not exactly peeing my pants to want to save it. In fact, it has directly the opposite effect – it makes me want to stick needles sideways up me Jap’s so I’ll in no way be in danger of contributing to its continuation.

Oh, wait! He’s not done! Keep reading kids, because I’m sure this is going to be worthwhile.

Indeed and male graduates with good typing skills are more likely to be rejected. After I graduated in 1990, I took RSA classes, gaining the relevant qualifications in typewriting (on a proper typewriter – remember them?) and word processing, but I still found myself at the receiving end of anti-male discrimination when it came to seeking employment.
HomoSafari

Alternatively, you could explore your massive personality defect as a cause. Remember, it’s not discrimination if you’re just some kind of cunt.

Outsiders and Plain Weird and Slow Readers04 Aug 2010 11:26 am

It’s usually a bit below the belt to lay into someone just on spelling mistakes, but Stephen Murray from Middlesbrough, who I found chatting shite on an old Mail article about Baroness Scotland’s housekeeper, is an exception. Firstly, he’s an idiot. Secondly, he’s an idiot racist with weird paranoid delusions. Thirdly, these are just magical.

She employed this woman nowing she was a imigrant thats why she employed her in the first place ,if you had the slightest dought and you had a job of such importance you would play it safe and look around for uk citizen no problem no fine ,she never thought she would get found out and now she and the labour party are trying desperatly to find some sinario which thay can save her job ,weak priminister and weak goverment.

- stephen murray, middlesbrough

Look at ‘dought’, for a start. Despite his obvious shit-for-brains thought-processes, Stephen understands about silent letters and ‘gh’, he even knows a fair few words that are spelt funny. So he clearly has the makings of a good speller in him. And look at ‘priminister’. It actually seems quite logical if you’ve never seen a newspaper and have no idea what the word is meant to look like. It’s implausible, the more I think about it the more it explains a great deal about the internet, and to be honest it frightens me a little. But the only conclusion I can come to is that Stephen Murray can write but not read.

Delusions of Grandeur and Outsiders06 May 2010 09:45 am

Are you sick of the election? Me too. I have a severe case of don’t give a fuck. Kind of like Terry here, although what I intend to do about my apathy – nothing – is considerably more useful than his suggestion.

Don’t vote. It only encourages ‘progressive’ dictators like Brown, Cameron and Clegg.

Become a democratist. Enforce the will of the democratic majority directly.
Terry Dean

Yeah. Enforce the/your/our will directly by embracing democracy, not voting and getting out there and making your feelings known in some other way – armed revolt, for instance. Plant a bomb or two. Or why not hijack a plane and fly it into a famous landmark?

And if you’re worried about any potential negative outcomes, you shouldn’t be. Terry will back you all the way – and right after he’s had his morning cup of tea and his wank, he’ll get right behind you by getting on the internet and making an edgy, revolutionary comment on the story that describes exactly how Special Branch shot you right between the fucking eyes. Then he’ll have another wank.

Miscellaneous Prats and Outsiders and Racists19 Apr 2010 11:12 am

They’re changing the rules of Scrabble.

Fucking hell. NO! NOT SCRABBLE! RUN FOR THE HILLS! SAVE YOURSELVES! WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST! Quickly followed by a bunch of puffy knobheads.

Yet another example of: (chose at least one from list below)
-Political Correctness gone mad
-Broken Britain
-Falling education standards
Fade ‘n’ Die (No Relation to Shake ‘n’ Vac)

You forgot “You couldn’t make it up”, “All the more reason to vote BNP” and “Mattel is an American company.” Never mind though, at least you’re still resolutely Anglo-centric, like Miss Terri Poster:

In my household, the word MATTEL will not be allowed in any game.

It would never have happened when J W SPEAR & SONS PLC was [English] guardian of the game…
Miss Terri Poster

Absolutely. Those were the days, eh? Those halcyon days of yore, when men were men and women were women, when gay meant happy and you could rape your wife. Ah, yes, back in the 50s, when being English was a state of mind and it didn’t matter if you were a German-American Jew – you could still be English, too! Well, it’s either that lovely multicultural vision of inclusivity, or we have to face the prospect that Miss Terri Poster is just a puffed-up fartbubble who’s just all too ready to blurt out crap on the basis of “it stands to reason” and “common sense”. And like changing the Scrabble rules, I’m just not ready to accept that.

I don’t think Miss Terri Poster should worry – after all, she’ll still be able to rigidly control what words her children put down, while insisting that strict adherence to the rules is “all part of the fun”. And she’ll still be able to “accidentally” knock the board and ruin the game when someone gets a triple word score with a Z. After all, that stuff isn’t in the rules, but it’s in the English spirit of things – just like storming out in a huff when your eleven year old finds jobation in the OED after you’ve sat there for five minutes blocking dictionary access while insisting that’s not possibly a word, lamenting the standards of education in today’s society and how all these exams are just getting easier, and what exactly do you learn in Gordon Brown’s education system, how to cheat your way through your exams…

Well, at least no-one could divert a discussion on Scrabble to suggest that Islam is going to rise up and take over the world, and do it in a manner that barely conceals the author’s petulant racism.

The makers of the game should ban the word pachyderm as it contains the prefix “pachy” which is insulting to our beloved masters in the new mother country.
varnayfan

Oh.

Curtain Twitchers and Outsiders and Permanently Bewildered14 Apr 2010 10:43 am

Thanks to PY. On the Big Swiss Apocalypse Donut.

Posted by: Trevor on March 30, 2010 9:00 AM

I wish these people wouldstop “experimenting” with things they admit they don’t understand. Nobody knows what the consequences might be if those beams are made to cross.

But of course that’s what they’re going to do, Trevor. Abhorrent as it sounds, the four-eyed eccentric science professors at the LHC actually want the beams to cross. Timid, bookish nerds with glasses look out for their own, and if it means Sigourney Weaver might stick her tongue down Rick Moranis’ throat, they don’t give two shits if a dirty great marshmallow eats New York.

Moderation Martyrs and Outsiders and Unfocused Rage01 Apr 2010 09:46 am

Thanks to Jacob for finding the postings of this angry little stubcock in a thread where ThisIsBristol reported that scare scare hyperbole tearjerk tearjerk now wank yourself silly imagining how you’d vigilante his ass if only you weren’t a fat middle aged clunge.

This is an outrage. Every time I come on here to politely suggest that someone be hanged or stoned to death, my post gets removed.

This is political discrimination ngone wrong. Not happy.
Terry (& June), Falling off a sunbed

Au contraire, Terry. They remove your posts because when you talk politely about stonings and being tanned, they assume you’re a muslim favouring sharia law. Which I think you’ll find is political discrimination ngone exactly the way you want it to. Try being more self-absorbed, angry and patronising. That way they’ll know you’re really an ineffectual white middle class Travis Bickle wannabe.

Credulous Nincompoops and Outsiders and Self-appointed Sages29 Mar 2010 08:38 am

A great big dose of Thankceptin to Kathryn for finding surgeon-professor Doctor Douglas Grenfell Ph.D (fellow of the Tit Doctors Institute) in one of TimesOnline’s ongoing series of misapplications of niche oncological research results. Apparently, today pregnancy causes prevents cancer.

This all sounds fine, as long as the females concerned take precautions, ie do allow their breasts to develop milk, not take a pill to stop the milk developing. Also the biggest cause of breast cancer is the males who are too aggresive when handling a female breast, squeezing too hard and also pulling on the tissue, all cause damage to the insides of the breast which does develop into cancer. Thye huge amount of toxins ingested by everybody every day in food encourages cancers and should be reduced, also excessive slimming does not help either. It is about time Cancer UK etc openly promoted prevention rather than spend all the money they raise solely on cures.
Douglas Grenfell

I have a few suggestions for ways Cancer UK etc can promote prevention:

The “Gentle Gauntlet” is a steel glove which the man wears during any contact with the bristol. Small actuators in the knuckle joints detect when the amount of pressure being applied to the boozoomier borders on the dangerous cancer-causing range (or the “death squeeze” as we nork researchers prefer to call it) and won’t allow the fingers to grasp the Daily Mail Gossip Columnist any tighter, thereby protecting the precious puppy’s nose.

The “Milkcebo” is a pill designed to mimic the many, many lactation prevention products on the market. Obviously in such a crowded marketplace the Milkcebo will need heavy promotion to compete with the many other milk suppression products which do exist. However the difference is, the Milkcebo actually doubles the amount of milk production in the pink trifle, producing enough for accredited funbag expert Douglas Grenfell to have a lovely dairy shower in.

Finally the “GP” is a service to which women can go for actual health advice based on evidential studies and up-to-date research, rather than relying on knocker-obsessed weirdoes who regurgitate tabloid cancer scares filtered through their own ignorant, top-bollock-focused lens.

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