spEak You’re bRanes

British Bulldog again.

When I see the way kids are cosseted I wonder what would happen(God forbid)if there was another war, and we had to bring back conscription .How would they cope in the army? No doubt mummy would take them to camp and pick them up in the evening. It would be private Pike from dads army all over again! It is no coincidence that our army of today are largely working class lads without a single gap year between them ! We have bred a nation of softies! I hope we never have need of some real men
keith ridgers, cobham, United Kingdom

You never know when you’re going to really need a real man do you? You know, like, aching for it.

Should we bring back “British Bulldog”?

what we going to do next ban something because it may hurt someone’s feelings.
Phil, Bristol

Sorry Phil, this is “Should we bring back British Bulldog”. You wanted “They’ve only gone and banned gollywogs!”. It’s just down the hall, past “Prison? Holiday camp more like!”.

Mark Easton wrote in his blog about how disproportionism in the media leads to hysterical fear of crime.

What’s the correct response? Hysterical fear of crime, naturally.

Responsibilities - I wish!!!

Person A is a responsible person who can be trusted with a knife (or a gun, or a child, or whatever).

Person B is an irresponsible person who cannot be trusted with a knife (or a gun, or a child, or whatever).

We are not allowed to discriminate between A and B as this would be an infringement of B’s “rights”.

Therefore, we must treat A in the same way as B and impose any amount of petty restrictions on both of them.

And B, being irresponsible, will evade the restrictions imposed to control him/her.

While A, being responsible, will try to abide by the restrictions which are not necessary for him/her.

A, being responsible, is far easier to police and prosecute than B. A will therefore be more disadvantaged by these restrictions than B.

Until we are once again allowed to DISCRIMINATE between A and B, things will go from bad to worse.

And no, it’s not really that difficult to tell the majority of the As and Bs apart . . .
AZLewes

Yes, the Bs all have little squinty eyes that are too close together while the As are all 6′ tall and blond, with proud chests that swell with the joy of living.

But that’s not it for poor long-suffering A and scumbag B…

[AZLewes] is spot on, however I would go one further as the situation is now in reality much more skewed in favour of the irresponsable person B.

The responsible person A is going about his legal business in the street and is unarmed.

A is approached by the irresponsable person B who is armed and intent on relieving A of his wallet containing his hard-earned cash. This is required to feed B’s drug habit. Person B pulls a knife.

Unfortunately for person B, A takes exception to B’s criminal behaviour and is morally obliged to decline the invitation to hand over his wallet. Being a fairly well built chap A defends himself using reasonable force and person B suffers hurt feelings and a cracked nail as he is forceably separated from the contents of his cuttlery draw.

PC Plod (person pC) arives on scene and decides for some reason that ‘a dispute’ (you can b***dy say tha again) has occured between person A and person B, whose ‘rights’ are now for some inexplicable reason equal even though person B is clearlt a knife wielding thug well known to the Police, and person A is just trying to get home from work.

A is fingerprinted, DNA tested, and charged with assault. Whilst A is held overnight in the cells, B is released without charge because “it is soceity wot dun it to ‘im innit?” and is therefore free to knock over A’s house during the small hours to rearm himself from the cuttlery draw and steal A’s property to fund his drug habit.

The law abiding person A now has a criminal record and looses his job, his house and his wife.

Well done pC, UK law and British common sense.
——–

Whilst this situation is mercifully rare, it has occurred in the past and although laughable when expressed like this, it is unfortunately now a genuine concern for the law abiding.

The fact that it is rare is because most people in this situation would actually just hand over their wallet, loose £10 in cash, cancel their cards and not bother to report it (because no-one will be caught anyway and it is not worth the effort having the conversation with the administrator on the front desk of the police station, even if you can find one that is actually open) rather than risk taking a stand, or indeed help anyone else finding themselves in this position.

It is this fear of the state by the law abiding which is causing antisocial behaviour in all its forms to spiral because quite simply, the law abiding do not feel able to take action or intervene in any way lest they end up in the cells. Untill this dire situation (or the perception of this situation) is clearly reversed, crime and general disorder will only get worse.

Repealling the fatuous Human Rights Act, a European construct with no place in UK law, would be a fantastic start.
UKIntel

Check your newspeak dictionaries, citizens: “Mercifully rare” should replace the oldspeak term “Completely made up.”

“What impact could an EU recession have?”

Wait for the pound to be 1:1 with the euro switch to the euro.

also governments remember you cant keep going up the ladder eventually you have to come down the slide and if your too high then your going to come down fast and hurt yourself.

I still cant see why we are still on earth the EU has a viable space economy why arnt we among the stars mining the asteroid fields, strip mining mars.

move to space its the only way.
andrew giggal, chesterfield

Excellent ideas Andrew.

Here, I drew you a picture of some miners going into space to do some spacemining.

A comment from the blog of a World Service programme called “World Have Your Say”. Can anybody stand up to the Russians? This chap has an idea.

Now would be a good time for the Georgians to ally with the Chetchians or Muslims to have them come in behind them and tear them a new butt. Then the Nato troops could smuggle in a bunch of stinggers. Russia has to decide if they want to be our allies against really bad Muslim radicals like most of the people who are not Muslim are or whether they want to continue with this empire building and holding thing. Russian troops would not do well in the mountains of Georgia just like they did not do well in Afghanistan. Bomb cities, well yah anybody can do that. Go up in the rocks as an infantry supported by a traditional military. Let the games begin. It would be a really great war for both sides to fight. The true character of man can continue to unfold and all the folks in Russia big towns and cities will eventually begin to complain about why all the kids are disappearing and not coming back.

This is the story of mankind!!

troop on the Oregon coast
troop

Psssst. Don’t tell anyone else in your class, but we’re inviting you to the big, main, secure, secret headquarters tomorrow. We want you to be the Top Chief Of All The Armies.

Thanks to Steve for looking on here.

The UK hardly produces any CO2. It’s all these blacks in Africa chopping down tree to use firewood for cooking.

Jim Bob, Leeds, United Kingdom

no wonder - sending them rice, raw meat and other stuff that needs
cooking in aid. Next time they are all starving (next week), send them
sandwiches or biscuits (stuff that does not need cooking) to save the
trees and stop CO2 pollution.

‘Do-gooders’ sending food to Africa are destroying the planet.

Jim Bob, Leeds, United Kingdom

When will those blacks in Africa realise that their selfish eating is driving up our petrol prices? The only solution is to cook stuff first, then post them to Darkieland (or Darkie-stan, whatever). That way it won’t need cooking.

Never understood the excuses people give for reading lad-mags. Surely it’s far less embarrassing to say you got it for a good hearty wank than admit to reading the articles.

Angie/Angela from B’ham/Birmingham is also not a fan:

why dont women’s mags have naked men in it, doing poses?

we dont degrade men like so called lad mags (porn) do about women.

Me and my husband will teach our son to respect women.

I can’t believe women who encourage this and let partners and husband’s buy it, your letting women down, this is disgusting porn with no respect for women, it treats them like sex objects. Some of these mags show more than they should, not just the top half, no wonder theres rapes and paodophiles. ban it all.

angie, B,ham

You think men’s magazines degrade women Angie, you should try reading women’s magazines. Yech.

I agree Denise Kettle, these men are sad, perverts, In need, lacking in something, paedophiles in the making.

Any men that don’t find these mags offensive must be one of these.

These mags are disgusting and sick, degrading, this sort of stuff encourages violence, rapes and paedophiles, these mags must be banned, it should go to Parliament.

If kids want to know about the human body and sex there should be proper books, not this disgusting stuff, the women in it have no respect for themselves.

angela, Birmingham

We’re clearly dealing with an embittered sexist so clueless about the world and the opposite sex that she assumes anyone who disagrees with her must be somehow sexually dysfunctional.

Coincidentally, this was sent in by J, an embittered sexist so clueless about the world and the opposite sex that he assumes anyone who disagrees with him must be somehow sexually dysfunctional:

top prize goes to this dried up lezzer, Angela from Birmingham

I have no idea Denise Kettle is, or what she said, but clearly she is someone whom Angela holds in high regard, and I can only conclude that she is a mong as well

No Angie, your magazines don’t humiliate men, you have every advert where men are portrayed as simple buffoons to do that for you.

As a man, I can tell you that shit unfunny adverts are worse than any humiliation any woman has ever suffered. Also, with all that hot girl-on-girl action, you wonder how any lezzer could ever dry up.

What Makes a Good Joke? Now I find it ever so slightly cruel, letting these idiots embarrass themselves by mangling good jokes and repeating shitty old ones ad nauseum.

A good unsuspected punchline is funnier than one you can see coming.

Brian Nicholson, Crumpsall

You heard it here first folks!

I haven’t heard any really good jokes lately - Political Correctness has killed them all.

Mike W, Gravesend, Kent

I’ve met political correctness and she’s appalled at all killing - even jokes. You probably just have boring, unfunny HYS-turds as friends.

Loved this one:

The British population were asked if Polish Immigrants were a problem. 23% said “yes its a serious problem” and the other 77% said “czesk bardzo mi milu gdzie dject toaldta”

Jack Taft, Birmingham, United Kingdom

More from our own boring, unfunny friend Jack Taft, courtesy of everyone. But here’s a tricky one, which is the more completely made-up batty-grease, the statistics or the Polish?

In Golders Green Abe pops round to Mosha to find him scraping wallpaper off the walls.

Abe - “decorating?”

Mosha - “no - moving”

Totally Disgruntled, Wokingham

Clever of T.D. to hide the butt of his joke from the politically correct moderators by only mentioning Golder’s Green, Abe, Moshe and immense stinginess.

How can you tell that a plane that’s just landed at Heathrow airport is full of HYS contributors? Because when the engine’s turned off the plane is still whining.

King Rusk, London, UK

See, I like this one. I like the idea that everyone who recommended it thought “Haha, yes, people do whine a lot on HYS” and then went straight onto another thread to gripe about immigrants using their wheelie-bin.

Thanks to Loz. “What is your favourite joke?”

I cannot tell you, since it is Politically-incorrect, so what’s the point in asking the question? Since my perception as to “What makes a Good Joke?” died, along with Bernard Manning, and ‘Other Politically Incorrect’ Comedians and their comedy material, so why bother asking the question in the first place?
David Mulvey, DERBYS, United Kingdom

Beats me. They might as well have asked you to describe Africa without using the phrase “dirty, uncivilised, jungle bunnies”. It’s political correctness gone mad.

What do you think about Radovan Karadzic? If you don’t know who he is, just give your general thoughts on Muslims, that’ll do.

This arrest is unfair. War is a nasty business and people get killed - including civilians. Was Winston Churchill a war criminal because of the bombing of Dresden? If you knew Balkan history you would see the war against the Bosnian Muslims was justified. The Serbs are an ancient and proud people. For centuries they lived under the appalling persecution of the Turks. Why should they have lived under Muslim rule in Bosnia again? Bosnia and Kosova will be the new beachheads of Islam in SE Europe.

[SaxonHero], Lancashire, England (not UK)

PC gone mad I tell you! Next the loony left will be claiming Hiroshima and Nakasaki were a bit excessive.

This man is only a criminal if you are a muslim or an appeaser.

To true Serbians, he was a hero.

I suggest people do some proper research into what actually happened, and why Radovan Karadzic did what he did.

Don’t trust the EU censored version of events.

Toby Johnson, Hastings, United Kingdom

“Dreadfully sorry Abdul, nobody likes being ethnically cleansed, but if we stopped just on your account, that would be appeasement, and you know where that got us with Hitler.”

ohh so this hits world news now, what about the muslim and croat war criminals why dont use put them up world wide??? put the words “HERO AND PATRIOT” next to his name!

Serb Patriot, Melbourne

You know Serb Patriot, I’d always expected you to have completely the opposite idea.

The Serbs acted with great restraint given 50 or more years of occupation of their homeland by outsiders who have now ” declared independence” from Serbia.

don caskey, New Zealand

Next time I hear someone talking about Israeli ‘restraint’ while blowing stuff up, I’ll point them in your direction. Unless they’re carrying ‘restraints’, in which case they’re probably heading your way anyway.