spEak You're bRanes

Thanks to Robert, who found this.

Stuart_MCFC
24 Minutes ago
Those knocking the BBC for publishing this article – do you not want any criticism of capitalism?
>>>>>>>>>

I think people like myself dislike the BBC’s left wing bias is because we have seen what happens when socialism take over and are not fooled by the romatanic lie. The milions killed under the name of socialism / communism would only want us to expose it.
AuntieLeft

Yes, I fully expect that the victims of totalitarian orders around the world are, at this very moment, looking down on the BBC and decrying just how disgusting their output is, and how it’s exactly like what they went through when they were alive. Especially the prison camps, the secret police and the constant, creeping fear you get every time you tune into BBC Four.

And I’m sure that they’re up there in heaven right now and cheering you on for your indefatigable crusading, only too happy that you’re doing your level best to fight against the injustices they suffered by getting on the internet literally every day and making at least one overly-dramatic, borderline messianic blog comment about the BBC that hardly anyone reads.

Adapting Churchill, “Capitalism is the worst system, except for all the others”. Capitalism has issues – but it’s still our best bet.

Also, the author is mistakenly fixated with Western economies. Globally, capitalism is working better than ever. In 30 years of capitalism, hundreds of millions of people in China & India have been lifted from poverty.

If Marx lived, he would retract his thesis.
Matt Hunter

Nah, I think he’d just hand it over to you and let you swap some words about to vaguely prove a point you thought you had, just like Churchill would have. Yes, I know he said “democracy”, but you’re right, what he actually meant was “whatever the fuck that twat Matt Hunter wants it to say.”

Fair cop, though – I’m sure as hell if Marx were around today he wouldn’t bother with any manifestos to free men from their chains. He’d go for something simpler. Like, “Fuck me, I’ve just been reading the BBC website, and what a bunch of cunts those people commenting on there are. I reckon I’d rather stick my beard in a cotton gin than have to read through all that shite produced by those self-important fuckwits. All hail dictatorship of the bourgeoisie, because if those Have Your Say wankers have the vote we’re all fucked.”

Thanks to Lisa. Here’s Clive, from Oxford. You know, where you find punts.

Women of child bearing age are the problem! i.e. from 15 to about 45-50. It’s why they can only work in the public sector and menial/trivial jobs like services and cleaning. Who in their right mind would hire a woman??? The REALITY is work for women is privilege not a right, so in times of great stress, caused by wishful thinking (banks extended all that credit for profit AND to pull the masses up from the gutter, admittedly for future profit), the British people have to compromise and yes, SACRIFICE for their survival. Women just have to take a step back for a while, stop emasculating the wealth creators, and continue to propagate the species! Did they forget what their PRIAMRY role is? I’m sure the feminists are all up in arms, but men didn’t create humans, so it’s not our fault that women have children while we work!
Clive, Oxford, UK

Who would in their right mind would hire a woman? Not Clive, who’s clearly in his right mind, and who has a really firm grasp on the situation. If the situation was his cock, and the really firm grasp was caused by his miserable sense of self-loathing and the tears that flow bitterly from his eyes as he finds himself passed over for opportunities by women who came from the public sector and turned out to be much better at his job than he ever was. And, curiously enough, not grossly offensive people.

But hey, don’t go thinking Clive’s a middle-aged blimp with a gender-based inferiority complex who can’t stop having angry wanks. No. I’m sure that’s not the case of all. It’s just nature. And you can’t blame nature, or Clive for pointing it out, no matter how many times you’ve read The Female Eunuch.

So, ladies – step up to the plate, and take it on the chin. Or in the vagina. Whichever’s easier. And when you’ve saved the country by quitting work and having babies on some kind of production line system, just remember to thank Clive for pointing out nature and shit. You’ll find him in the empty women’s bogs at work, staring at the tampon machine and having an angry wank.

Thank fuck for David Starkey, eh? Here he is, eloquently arguing that he’s not racist by saying, basically, that “some of my best mates are black and look, some coloureds agree with me”. Have a read. You’ll see how deep a man can actually dig a hole.

While you’re reading that finely sifted horseshit – and the lumpy horseshit that makes up the comments section – remember to thank Charlie, who braved it all to find us some people who were decidedly less than eloquent about how they’re not racist and it’s all just cultural. Or genetic. Or both.

I await with interest the public explosion when some scientist shows that there IS a genetic difference in the races. I have taught mathematics for 45 years and in that time I have noticed that Japanese, Chinese, Indian and some white students thrive in abstract concepts -essential in advanced mathematics – but that sub-Saharan Africans find the whole subject a bore. This may be because I am a boring individual but then there might be other reasons.
tony2back

Yes. There might be. It might be because you Tipp-Exed numbers onto everyone’s foreheads because you couldn’t tell them apart otherwise. Incidentally, we’re on the lookout for the gene that makes people overrate their made-up anecdotal evidence. Can you help out? It’ll take five minutes with a sub-Saharan African and a small cup.

I am married to a Chinese woman.

Based on their different genetic make up and cultural background I could tell you a great deal of different characteristics between her and my white Caucasian sister.

The ability to get things down from high shelves without the use of a stool would be the first that springs to mind. My wife’s work ethic which puts everyone else I know to shame being the second.

By the definition of the word any realist is in fact a racist different ethnic make up equals’ different characteristics fact.
sailor25

See, this is why I bother with this shit. It’s to find out things you couldn’t possibly know until some prepackaged fanny puts it on the internet – in this case, I just found out that my wife, who’s been working 60 hour weeks lately and can’t reach the top shelf in the supermarket, is Chinese. You live and learn. Except for sailor25. He lives and becomes a bit stupider every day. It must be all the Chinese food his wife is inevitably good at cooking. Because she’s from China and she’s a woman! See! It’s genetics! And culture!

I’m bored of this now. It might seem a bit premature, given that there’s 2,000 comments on there, but I got utterly sick of reading through debates made up of mindless bollocks spunked out by unmitigated realists, who, by pure chance, are all being realistic about black people.

Oh, alright, one more.

Listen to David Lammy: an archetypical successful black man. If you turned the screen off, so you were listening to him on the radio, you’d think he was white.
David Starkey

Yeah. And if I turned the screen off, so I was listening to you on the radio, I’d still think you were some kind of cuntish pseudo-celebrity trying to increase his exposure by aiming right for where his Daily Mail reading target audience like to be tickled. But if it helps, I’d also think you were white.

Here’s a parrot that can speak Urdu. And here’s a bell-end who thinks the parrot has learned English.

So a Parrot can learn Urdu as well as English while a bloke in Pakistan gets his wife to sue the British Government because HE refuses to learn English, and unless he does we won’t let him migrate here. It sort of puts things in perspective dosn’t it!
Marshian, Romney Marsh

Yep, sure does. For instance, I’m a long way away from you right now, but even from here I can tell that your brain is very, very small. Incidentally, the parrot can also bark like a dog, so you can expect him to start making comments on the Daily Mail website any day now.

are you crackers? it’s a PARROT!
rosy bertram, essex

That was quick! Also, hilarious.

Oh, dear. Something awful has happened. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, what with being trapped in your white, middle class, bubble of liberal idealism, but some serious shit’s going down right now. It’s so serious, in fact, that this cunt has taken a break from dishing out street justice in copious amounts because it’s just become far too dangerous. Luckily for us, he went and got on the internet straight away, just to make this outrageously docile comment:

I would have liked to help stop the thuggary but I did not want to get arrested, sued, breach their human rights, get fined by “no win no fee” solicitors, get a criminal record, lose my job. It looks like the law/police/goverment is on the side of the thugs, blindfolding common sence. If the the law is incapable then take away all their money including their family who shelter them.
david jones, walsall uk

Oh, fucking hell, David! Just when we needed you! Just when Commissioner Gordon was on the blower to me, asking exactly where you were, and if your Batman suit had come back from the dry cleaners yet – now you tell us that this is the point where you can’t help us any more! After all, when law and order has broken down, when the State has failed and when anarchy prevails, you’re quite rightly scared of getting sued! On contingency! These things happen. I’ve seen The Incredibles. You’d end up in kangaroo court or something, and I’ve heard they’re even more sarcastic than Judge Judy.

Just when we need David Jones where he does most good – on the streets of Walsall in rubber undies, wandering around with what the guy in the shop told him was a 12″ black rubber serrated baton – he fails us. The alternative plan of taking all their money away could work, but without David to protect us they’ll just steal all our stuff anyway! And they can do that even when they’ve had their benefits cut!

DAVID, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US??? WHO WILL SAVE US NOW!!?!

Two superheroes have been spotted in and around London over the past few days called ‘Blackman and Robbing’.
Call-me-Coconut, UK

Well, Clinical Depression Boy is about to turn up. Can he help us? Unlikely. He usually just induces catatonic foetal positions and extended absences from the internet.

TEAR GAS – RUBBER BULLETS – TASERS -STUN GUNS – CHEMICAL PARALYZING SPRAYS – HIGH AUDIO FREQUENCY BLASTERS – TRANQUILIZING ELEPHANT GUN DARTS – WATER CANNONS WITH PURIFYING ROTTING DYE – all need to be used ASAP and all we get from this home secretary is she tells us she is watching the CCTV…………………………….!!!!!!!
Roy, Essex

Oh, thank fuck for that. Our worries are over. It turns out that Roy will defend us all, weilding the massive hard-on he gets after reeling off the names of a whole bunch of fictional military technology what he did drew when it was raining. Just pray to God he doesn’t have a wank.

Anyway, never mind calling out for a hero. What we really need to know is how we can connect this to Muslims.

Here is another reason to outright BAN face coverings.
melita, ex pat

Thanks melita! And give my regards to Pat when you see him. Unless he still thinks you’re a cunt and avoids you like the plague, like everyone else.

Thanks to Jo. The original comment has disappeared and left only foul smelling footprints all over the internet, but forward-thinking Jo has helpfully pasted it over for us (hint, hint). The original article about Rebekah Brooks getting fired, is here, but like the majority of things in Comment is Free, it’s a depressingly obvious piece of self-indulgent tripe written by a confirmed moron. So get on over there and read it, because it’s right up there in terms of CiF quality.

@Savale

“Are you a Daily Mail columnist?

If so watch out – we’ll be onto your lot next!”

What a horrible bilesome comment.

What’s going on here? A strong woman made a couple of mistakes. I’m sure that Rebekah would admit this.

She shouldn’t have hacked Milly Dowlers phone, but I’m sure it was done for the right reasons. Besides which, remember this girl was already dead ok? Tragic but true.

It that the sole community who are coming out in support of Rebekah are the gay community. Just like when Princess Diana was victim of a wtich hunt. We now know that Diana was a beautiful person, some dayn we’ll know the same about Rebekah I’m sure.
JaneKnowels

Yep. She’s a saint, alright. A big, ginger saint. And strong, too – strong enough to rip the sack from a man’s oysters if he even thought about crossing her. I hope Rusbridger’s got his chastity belt at the ready.

She’s incredible, really – she started off shagging Grant from Eastenders and ended up playing polo with David Cameron,* presumably using George Osborne as the stick and Grant’s left clanker as the ball. And I’m sure that just like Princess Diana, everyone is very keen to see Rebekah closely involved with about 10,000,000 landmines, and would pay quite a lot of money to see her in the middle of a minefield in Afghanistan.**

At least now we know they’ve expanded the definitition of saintly behaviour. Before JaneKnowels started this degenerate harpy’s canonisation process, I was convinced it was either a lifetime’s selfless dedication to the poor, starving and downtrodden, or it was spending your life giving sex advice when the nearest you’d got to sex was wanking into the Archbishop of Liverpool’s mitre while he was prostrating himself somewhere very holy.

So in the list of acts that will get you giving God a Dirty Sanchez for all eternity, we can now include the very necessary and absolutely defensible act of illegally accessing a dead girl’s voicemail so you can get some inside information on her family, and then using that to get an interview that sells more copies of the News of the World. After all, to deny Rupert the opportunity to buy another small municipality to stuff into Wendi Deng’s knickers would be practically criminal. There’s right reasons for everything, and making sure the scrotal-headed one’s garbage empire has its shares knocked up a billionth of a penny is the rightest of right reasons.

And it’s okay. Milly Dowler was dead. And that means nobody got hurt at all, and Rebekah Brooks will ascend into heaven on a cloud of cinnamon scented farts for everything she’s done for humanity.***

Amen, JaneKnowels…

…you massive lump of cock-cheese.

* I don’t know if this is true, but I’m taking my lead from a fucking saint, alright?
** Or dying a painful, lingering death in an underpass.
*** And if you don’t like cinnamon, they’ll smell like justice for the victims of paedophiles, just for you.

Thanks to Neil, who pointed out John and his unique views on sex crime.

I am not a paedophile. I abhor the thought of Adults engaging in any sexual activity with minors. But I reckon that if more youngsters had a view of external Genitalia of both sexes of the human race There would be greater understanding & less sex crime.
JOHN

Here’s some advice, John: it’s been long established that starting your statement with “I am not a _____” is a dead giveaway, so if you really want to convince us all that you should be able to flash your wing dang doodle at kids, then take a tip from this chode and at least try and dress up your language a bit. Otherwise the intentions behind your reasoned argument about kids getting more involved with penises on a regular basis and there being less sex crime as a result sounds a bit… well, a bit like you’re trying to reason your way into committing a sex crime.

Prevention is better than cure, John, but your penis is neither of those things.

Big up to Simon.

About ten years ago, the only people who read The Economist were people who were willing to splash out a fiver for the privilege, and the only people who wrote to The Economist were people in business and completely batshit people who really wanted the editors to know about their latest crackpot theory on something they’d studied hard for a really long time in the previous issue of The Economist. Often they were the same people, but at least most of them weren’t published.

Now, thanks to the miracle of the technological age, we get to read them all. And thanks to the miracle of this blog, so do you – because misery loves company, and I hate everyone.

It’s interesting to note that you don’t actually have to read the article in order to get the general gist of this prick’s argument. In fact, it helps if you don’t read the article, because at least then you’ll approach it from the same perspective as he does, i.e. knowing fuck all about it.

Samkaie, say hello to the nice people.

I wonder what matters more in this, highly capitalistic society, profit or the joy of sex discrimination?

If I were an employer, I would have paid my employees based on the returns they earn for me, regardless of their sexual orientation. Heck, I would have hired a bunch of gays(I don’t mean to be offensive)if they earned me more money than any other class.

Arguing less payments, promotions based on one’s sexuality is equivalent to a baby “whining” for what it wants.
Nonetheless, courts seem to be more “tolerable and patient” than parents .

It’s obvious, women have all types of problems at work. And as the world has it, men are more productive(on average) than women.

More women are hired in the prostitution/massage/etc. industry because they’re wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more productive than men.
Men on the other hand, are hired as strategists, technicians etc., because that’s where they outdo their female counterparts.

It’s pointless to argue and “whine” about not getting paid well/etc., when you’re not doing well.
I really doubt Walmart would refuse promoting a woman who would earn the company an equivalent amount to that of 10 men collectively.

Nonetheless, after having improved women rights, they just seem to be wanting evermore.

You get treated the way you treat others, you get paid the way you earn for others.
Samkaie

Awesome. It’s good to know that Samkaie doesn’t mean to be offensive – he just is. He can’t help it, just like women can’t help being less productive and much stupider, and just like gay people can’t help being fundamentally different from ordinary, inoffensive, heterosexual people like Samkaie. But if you gays out there can take some solace from being a different class of person, then it’s that if Samkaie owned a business, he’d totally hire you if you were better than straight people. And he’d probably make you very proud of working for him, bringing visitors around the office to show everyone just how hard-working and productive all his gays are, all the time while completely failing to offend anyone because he doesn’t mean it. Hell, he’d probably put glory holes in the men’s bogs, just for you – if it’d help you be productive, that is.

Good news for women, too! Even though you may not be the genius strategists that men are, and even though you’ll never run first world economies and multi-billion dollar business interests, at least you’re great at wanking men off. That’s an area in which most men are sorely lacking in experience, so it’s good to know that as soon as your boss hears about Samkaie’s research and fires you for being lazy and having periods and vaginas and stuff like that, at least you’ll be able to get a job giving massages with happy endings.

And you’d be so productive at that, you could probably get through ten sweaty, sad losers like Samkaie in about 20 minutes.

Think of the tips, girls. Pun not intended.

Super-injunctions blah blah Imogen Thomas blah blah we’re not even sure who we’re disapproving of, to be honest blah blah oh well, here are some pictures of her arse anyway…

Thanks to Kathryn.

Surely if the ‘footballer’ thinks he was being blackmailed he should go to the police, surely if the judge thinks a crime may have been committed he should report it to the police. The judge thinks the footballer doesn’t think he was blackmailed, on what evidence does the judge think the footballer was being blackmailed or does he just think it.
kelly

Surely if ‘kelly’ thought this comment was of any use to anyone he or she should’ve gone away for a few minutes and then come back and tried reading it out loud before deleting all the words closing the browser shutting down the computer and throwing the whole fucking lot in a skip, surely if the reader thinks the comment is of any use to anyone he or she should sober up. This reader thinks kelly didn’t think at all between deciding to comment and hitting the post button, on what evidence does kelly think this wonky, half-formed skeleton of an opinion contributes anything even to what passes for debate at Mail Online or does he or she just think the internet is a big toilet built solely to receive whatever shit passes through his or her dysfunctional cognitive system at any given moment.

Have Your Say is changing. Again. And the natives are not happy. Change? What? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. I LIKE THINGS WHEN THEY STAY THE SAME.

They’re adding comment to the bottom of news stories. Whereas at one time you could go and read the news on the BBC website without having some foetid ballache forcing their rancid, shitty, poorly thought out opinion at you, now you won’t be able to escape depressing, awful bollocks because it’ll be right at the bottom of every depressing, awful news story. Just like the Guardian. And don’t we all just strive to have comments of Guardian quality on our news stories?

It’s just too much for some people, and the revolution has started. And what do you know, it turns out the revolution will not be televised. It’ll be taking place on the internet, where no-one can find it.

Sorry, but this will be my last post. I’m going to start my own ‘unmoderated’ forum if anyone’s interested under my other pseudonym Lewis Jones.
Gruffydd ap Llywelyn

I’m up for it! Let’s go! This place is just too quiet lately, anyway. Shit, all we’ve got left in the comments is some hardcore regular visitors discussing bollocks with agoraphobic racists. We need more action. Where do I sign up?

Where please? Can we all come?
ruffled_feathers

That’s two! Remember, two’s company, three is the magic number…

What are the google keywords to find your blog?
I tried “lewis jones” “blog”, but irrelevant links showed up
Mustafa Yorumcu

Well, that’s three, but we’re shit at using the internet, or at least we’re shit at searching for what could be one of the most popular names in the English language, plus “blog”. I also tried using quotes around all my words, but for some reason a bunch of other people have the same pseudonym. More help!

Give me a chance to create the blog. And without too much advertising, join the two words together and add dot com LOL And yes, everyone can participate all I ask is that you mind your language
Gruffydd ap Llywelyn

You heard it here second, folks. No, Have Your Say is not the be-all and end-all of discussion on the internet. Apparently there’s other places you can go to air your racist, borderline insane, actually insane, phenomenally stupid and utterly depressing views. And everyone can join in. Lewisjones.comlol. It’s like Martin Luther King, only the dream is a reality.

To Alex Gubbay:

Your new ‘game plan’ appears to be all about you, the Editor, the BBC. It will be boring and predictable. Editor’s Pick – who cares???

HYS was interesting and more often than not entertaining, due to poster’s views. There was ‘some’ freedom there which made it so. I will miss these posters and hope to meet up with them again perhaps at Lewis Jones. Good luck to MORERAM and others.
beammeup

You’re right. All we can do now is get over to Lewis Jones’ new ‘unmoderated’ discussion area, where the hot topic of the day is…

…the new BBC Have Your Say format.

Fuck it, wasted my time again. Sorry about that. Here’s some barking mad, borderline racist with a thinly-veiled conspiracy theory about the extinction of white British culture, followed by the tantalising possibility of a vaguely witty comment.

Lets face it BBC, you are really not interested in what people have to say, unless of course it agrees with yourselves. I subscribe to many national newspaper comment sections which are far less restricted then HYS, and at least allow people to have a view. I really do hate political correctness, and lets face it, the BBC is extremely politically correct. Being the voice of the political Liberal Left will always rule the BBC, and anyone who doesn’t agree with your views will always be excluded. It is a sad show of democracy when our national broadcasting company is so undemocratic, but unfortunately the state of our big brother society which tells all UK citizens what they should believe, how they should be anti-Christian, pro Europe, anti British culture because we MUST fit in with our immigrant population and not fly any British flags, must call Christmas, Winter Festival, must not use Christian prayer for anyone, I mean heaven help us all if we believe in God, we are considered freaks. I feel extremely sad that the BBC has become what they are today….slaves to the popular policially correct society, instead of actually having a mind of their own. Thankfully, there are still organisations out there, including many national newspapers, who still have some guts and stand up for the people
KnightShift

Yeah, thank God all you have to represent you is every single newspaper except the Guardian. Otherwise you might end up going crazy.