spEak You’re bRanes

This is a thread on knife crime and punishing. Punishing! Punishing! Punishing! Punishing!

Why don’t the government get an army base with some X SAS and other X army personnel and send these offenders there. It will be punishment army style. No luxuries just drilling, discipline and yes if they want to ‘bulk up’ exercise is included. Imagine the physique. The mattress for the beds must be the thinest possbile. Food must be the basics but healthy enough and their luxury will be education. Early rise in the morning till sun down. No modern facilities at all. Just hard labour.
lorenza, leeds

I’m stumped as to whether she means ‘X army’ in the X-Men, genetic mutation way or a Powerpuff Girls, Chemical X way. Whatever it is, I don’t think giving knife-carrying yobs superpowers will solve the problem.

I honestly don’t think even a pompous twerp like Jacqui Smith seriously believes this will make a blind bit of difference, but in a couple of years she’ll be out of a job so she has to be seen to do something to justify her salary and expenses. These uneducated goons who live by the cool of American rap videos really don’t give a stuff because they know they’re practically untouchable. Perhaps they’d think again with the birch across their bare backs a few times, or better still….
Nigel Clark, Lincoln, United Kingdom

A lesson to us all. Finish your post before you have your wank.

Why Sudanese President alone? Why not Bush- Blair-Brown-Berlusconi-Karzai-Mushraff-Almal ik-
Mugambbe etcetcetc?Why selective? That speaks
the psyche of SUPER POWERED CRIMINALS.They can kill or their agents in millions, ruin nations to rubbles and ahes nation,loot every pint of oil and ounce of commodities etc.TRY THEM ALL IN ICCJ and sentence them to death.

Abu Mustafa Jalaly, New York

Good for you Abu Mustafa Jalaly! A pint of oil. You hear that? A pint! None of this PC EU “barrel” nonsense. But I warn you, Bush, Blair and Brown have laser-vision, Berlusconi can go invisible and Mugambbe has the power (and voracious sexual appetite) of ten tigers.

Mum! Look Mum! Look! I’m on the internet! They want to know what I think about dual citizenship! Mum! You’re not looking! Mu-uuuum! Loooooook!

Should dual citizenships be allowed?

Que??Me Know parlare españoli.Me Inglezz!!

Cual es la pregunta que no lo entiendo un carajo!?

Je suis désolé,mais je ne comprends pas! Que es que il dit encore ce mec la?
Of course it should be allowed.I have three and I’m still not considered a Klingon!

Alex Gache, Netherlands

This was the most recommended comment, implying his mum is one of HYS’s many readers. At least one.

What’s the worst cover version of all time? The consensus seems to be “Gordon Clown and Nu Liar-Bore” as usual, yet some people are still confused:

What’s a “cover song”? I might recognize one if I heard it but I’m not familiar with that term.
Scott W, Port Orchard, USA

No matter Scott W, Port Orchard, USA doesn’t know what a cover song is. There’s no shame in not knowing stuff. Sherlock Holmes never knew that the earth revolved around the sun, Isaac Newton didn’t know about girls, and I have no idea why Scott W, Port Orchard, USA thought asking HYS was the best way to solve his query. It would take less than half the keystrokes to google it, save him one of his precious two posts an hour on the debate, and, best of all, not make him look like a confused old fart in front of the entire internet. Also, if he ever does get an answer from some kindly racist maniac, not only will it be lost in a sea of reactively-moderated drivel, but it will probably be incoherent, wrong and mostly about immigrants.

The only possible explanation I can think of is that, not content with being completely clueless, he wants to show the world just how many things there are that he has absolutely no idea about.

Could be worse mind - I remember once a comment got to fourth place despite beginning “I dont know much about him…”.

I don’t know if anyone here’s a fan of the ‘Biased-BBC‘ blog, but I like to think of them as a specialist version of the HYS poster, only a little more sophisticated, a little more eloquent, a little more enraged and right-wing, and of course a shitload more credulous and paranoid. Anyway, they’ve published their own letter to the editor, by ANDREW MCCANN.

FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE BBC COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT

Has the American presidential election already reached its conclusion? I have to ask since the evaporation of coverage on the BBC news since the confirmation of Barack Obama as Democrat nominee has been noted by many. The British Broadcasting Corporation was quite happy to flood news bulletins with ‘Presidential’ campaign happenings during the ‘beauty’ contest between Clinton and Obama. However, now that the BBC might just have to turn its attention to a more balanced coverage of the campaign by including Republican candidate, John McCain (remember him?), it suddenly has lost all interest.

Oh, what a beauty contest the Democrat race proved to be: both candidates filled every ‘tick-box’ on the social profiling sheet of the average Guardianista. One was a woman; the other was black. ‘Whoopee’ cried the anti-Israeli, anti-American, tree hugging news teams at the BBC. What did it matter that a potential leader of the free world should have more suitably meritocratic attributes such as intelligence, political nous, first-hand experience of America’s military engagements, an appreciation of realpolitik, and integrity? The sum total of the BBC’s analysis was preoccupied with the gender of one and the ethnicity of the other. As for the Grand Old Party, they might as well have shuffled off stage-left. The BBC, like the other Left-leaning, liberal ‘luvvies’ which dominate the European media scene, want a Democrat in the White House. Why don’t you just be honest and admit it?

I like the way “every tick box” comes to two. Whatever happened to one-legged Muslim lesbians? And look at the end: the more enraged he gets, the more he alliterates.

I am a BBC licence payer (for my sins). I want to see a Republican returned to power in the United States. I certainly do not want to see someone whose paternal ancestry shares the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago: a man who is prepared to ‘combat’ the rise of evil terrorist Islamism by sitting down and having cosy little chats with some of its principal protagonists. When are my preferences going to be incorporated in the so-called impartial coverage your organisation is (dubiously) renowned for?

You missed a trick Andrew: not only does Obama’s paternal ancestry share the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago, but his surname is only one letter away from ‘Osama’ and his middle name is only one ‘Saddam’ away from SADDAM HUSSEIN! If you don’t put the effort in, they won’t give a shit for your “preferences”.

If and, as I expect, when John McCain is voted the 44th President of the United States will we be offered the sort of ethno-centric spite-laden coverage I expect? The sort which will feebly attempt to portray the American electorate as bunch of subliminal Alabamaesque red-necks who couldn’t bring themselves to vote for poor old Barack because he was black? I am prepared to bet money on it. For in the final analysis it is those of the Left who lionise on the basis of sociological labels, and it is those of us on the Right who prefer to view people on their genuine merits.

Yours truly

ANDREW MCCANN

I’m with you there. I respect people according to their actions. As long as they’re not female, black, muslim, poor, disabled, Iranian, Chinese, Korean, Iraqi, Palestinian, Syrian, French (um.. someone check that for me, are the French ok again now that Sarkozy’s up for killing some Iranians?), Lebanese, atheist or, God forbid, left-leaning liberal ‘luvvies’.

Thanks to Alex for this one. It’s from a Times piece about the reappointment of Mervyn King for a second term as Governor of the Bank of England. Yes, I’ve had it in my inbox since January.

I have been attacked today in Tesco for sending a Birthday card to my sister aged 61. The counter assistant decided it was not Jewish to celebrate birthdays and so I was weeded out. The Irish woman with IRA terror effects refused to serve me and left my card and difficult gift card unattended where anyone could have grabbed my goods as gift cards are easy fraud with no security for gift. A youth like Bhutto or orange brown skin and about 3 women than harangued me and said the woman was crying. In my life women have made me cry when younger and so it seems silly. They did not discern my need and now we face smaller and smaller populations while aliens and terror history rules our green and once pleasant land. These juveniles banned me from Tesco2 and seem to know my telephone number and address and my dire financial situation which I manage but they have a conspiracy with dentists, doctors, sport & car to block my every move as a sick intelligence as in 1984 + 3,4 wars before.
Dr MI Barton MA. MBA.PhD, Oxon., UK

It’s obviously written by someone who’s a bit poorly but it’s quite good fun trying to imagine what really happened in Tesco that day.

On “Are your clothes ethically made?”

Go naked!

Julie, Lancashire

On the fourth plinth?

Lets stand there, naked. And then we won’t have to feel guilty about wearing clothes which are made unethically.

Julie, Lancashire

Now does Julie have a serious public nudity agenda, or does she just not want to waste a good joke by only telling it once?

Thanks to James. Concerning the recent Irish referendum.

This is verging on the obscene: If Ireland was a woman this would be attempted rape.

No means No.
ScepticMax

What would it be if Ireland was a reluctant male Orangutan? Attempted, bestial, bum burglary? What about if Ireland was a bun who said “no”? Would it be an attempted bun-icing? What about if Ireland was a woman who said “go on then”, but you popped some rohypnol in her drink anyway and then poked gingerly at her norks with a chopstick after she passed out? Just imagine it for a moment.

Thanks to BigValen for this from the Irish Independent.

Europe planted the seeds of the great Tiger and now we the cubs have grown up and this is our thank you, by voting no? i say YES
Ireland vote YES or it really is another dustin for us
anyway China and India are catching up vote NO and our cubs will be emigrating to Xinjang and Rajasthan and the likes for work.
Musliminireland

YES. Ireland needs to water its tigers and use some sort of fungicide or else the next generation of tigers will be tiny tigers covered in potato blight and then you’d get overrun by Chinese tigers who were much bigger and better qualified and wear smart jackets. Vote NO to.. hang on. What the actual fuck are you on about?

Remember back when some big-cheese Hezbollah type got killed by a car bomb? Israel denied all involvement, I think their exact words were “Hahaha! Us? We have the best boom-toys in the region, what would we want with amateur shit like car bombs?” Anyway, HYS went completely haywire and they all started borrowing opinions from Hamas. First off - car-bombing = teh sex:

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Well done to the bombers. It will only delay further militant inspired bloodshed for a very short while. Militant islamic terrorists will only regroup and start murdering for Allah again. Security in the area has always been tenuous at best. This is the same justice that Hezbollah meets out to others for far less reason, so it is fitting that it be treated in the same fashion.
Walt K, Corona, California, United States

Did that man just say “Well done to the bombers”? Well don’t go congratulating Arabs too soon Walt, because, as with everything else, the Jews were clearly behind it:

This is excellent news. If this was carried out by the Israelis, then congratulations to them on a job well done. The terrorists have to know that they can be killed no matter where they are hiding.

Aussie Pride, Cronulla, Australia

And then of course there’s the sickos:

“They sow the wind, and they reap the whirlwind.”

Excellent news! Wish I was there to see it happen.

Murali Suppayah, Klang, Malaysia

Are you that cunt who keeps telling everyone you meet to read Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”?