Me, I’m a sceptic. How is it flawed?

This study does not appear to address the phenomenon of people becoming more right wing as they age. Many left-wing supporters abandon their opinions as the grow older and begin to realise that their socialist philosophy has been naive and simplistic. Faced with this evidence I would suggest that right wing views are often the result of life experience and accumulated wisdom. Or do the presumably liberal researchers who produced this study think that we just become stupid when we age?
Tony Vickers, Winfield BC

Yes, I too am utterly dismayed that the study didn’t include bits of apocryphal anecdotal information in its design and label it as Undeniable Scientific Fact. Why, now that you’ve pointed out this irrefutable evidence, I can only submit that the study is inherently flawed because Tony Vickers wasn’t consulted about What Common Sense Dictates To Be Gospel.

I hereby submit that future studies on any given subject that Tony finds to be contentious or contrary to common sense should include similar evidence mined from the dark crevices of his imagination. For example, we can now get along to our nearest social or medical research centre and pressure them to include gems such as “My grandad smoked forty a day since he was fifteen and he lived until he was ninety”, “You can’t get pregnant from the first time because when my wife and I did it for the first time she didn’t get pregnant” and “All Polish people are plumbers. They must be, because I met a Polish guy once, and he was a plumber.”

This is a joke ……right ? Only because anyone wanting there own culture to be saved is deemed “racist” by “inteligent” left wingers ? . Only in this dustbin they call the UK. The whole world is entitled to their own culture … but not Britain . A country decimated by an experiment gone horribly wrong by idiots and voted for by idiots and a lesson to others . Thats why we are laughed at . It is now a crime to even say this is wrong ! . Thats how far it has got .
david, england

Yes, it’s gone so far that now david is being persecuted for crimes that don’t exist and is being laughed at for some reason I can’t quite work out. It might be because he’s wandering around claiming that it’s a crime to say that immigration (I assume – it’s usually safe to assume these unsaid things are about immigration) isn’t something he agrees with. Which it’s not, obviously. Not even to say that in a profoundly stupid way. But nevertheless, the end result is that david gets laughed at a lot.

We must feel for david, going through all this, when all he’s trying to do is find another inventive and original way to show everyone that immigration has destroyed Britain and the indigenous population is under threat. He’s failing at that, largely because in order to fully understand his point, you have to tune your brain to Batshit FM. And who the fuck wants to listen to LBC Radio?

Unless, of course, david’s plaintive cries for common sense and reprieve for the downtrodden Briton are actually just a very convincing joke. And they seem to have a large element of comedy about them. So in that case, feel free to laugh at david if you see him in the street, because that’s what he wants. And don’t forget to point. The pointing is very important.

Here’s a horrible indictment on the state of the NHS, colourfully illustrated by a woman giving birth in the middle of a hospital waiting room in full public view.

The response from readers of the Standard? She’s fahckin’ brahn, intshe.

cost of one baby approx 20K, so she has cost 120K just in babies. I am not even going to mention the housing benefit she will get with 6 kids.
No sympathy from me, I am afraid.
Mike, London

No, no sympathy from Mike. Just a vapid assumption that the brown woman is on benefits. Had to undergo a humiliating experience in front of strangers and are one in a long line of examples of grossly inadequate services at a major London hospital? Fuck you! You don’t deserve sympathy. Have some scorn instead: hot British scorn. See, she’s fucking smiling in that photo – no sympathy! No wonder she’s smiling, living the easy life with those six kids on all that housing benefit it’s safe to assume she’s getting because she’s brown. And because, apparently, you get housing benefit for having kids.

I can’t really feel sorry. Ilford via where? Sixth child at my expense? I’m rather glad she didn’t get a bed. Perhaps if she goes home she might get a better deal.
Vomit inducing, London

Yes, we’ll be sending bailiffs around for your car and flat screen TV later so we can flog them on eBay to pay for her treatment. And then we’ll be moving two of her kids into your spare room. And you have to pay for them and look after them. But you can’t show them any love and they won’t show you any respect. Big Society thing. We’re doing direct democracy, but we’re trying the direct taxation thing first.

Max Clifford will be on the case with Cheri Blair chasing a buck on the human rights front…..Back home she would have been left in a mud hut to fend for herself thank your lucky stars your in the UK milking the system.
avalidopinion, London.Uk

Yes, wherever “back home” is, you can safely assume it’s unreasonably savage and uncivilised and people live in mud huts. Because it’s fairly obvious that unless it’s Spain (wonderfully decorated but sparsely furnished terracotta block housing), Italy (waterlogged but wonderfully decorated and sparsely furnished canalside block housing), Greece (wonderfully decorated but sparsely furnished villas in olive groves), or Egypt (they have hotels, apparently, I know a guy who went there on holiday, said it was hot, but nice, but there were a lot of annoying locals touting for business, haven’t been there myself, but it seems about right) then if it’s hot and people wear things on their heads, and they’re not royalty or something, they must live in some kind of mud hut. Why, even their hospitals will be made of mud or something! Stands to reason! It’s not racism. It’s common sense, and it’s a valid opinion.

Tip: if you have to state that you think your opinion is valid, then it’s probably a shit opinion, and you’re a giant fucknugget.

In the interests of balance how about a reporter from the Standard doing a background check on this story and finding out if this woman has the financial means to support such a large family, does she or her husband work? If not, just how much money does her family attract from the state? Also, keep an eye on the hospital and see if they do make a payout of tax payer’s money.
Pete, Northumberland/Iraq

Yes, that’s balance. I’m glad you’re familiar with the principles of balance, proportion and fairness and how they’re relevant to journalism today. For instance, it’s entirely fair and in the spirit of balanced journalism that if these people are actually on benefits, or if they receive any form of subsidy for the state at all – or even if there’s the merest non-race based suspicion that they do – then someone should violate their basic right to privacy and delve right into their finances just to be sure. Because if we didn’t know where they got their money from, then how exactly would we know if it was fair that she had to give birth in full view of complete strangers in the middle of a hospital waiting room?

Tell you what, in the interest of balance, while we’re using the Standard’s journalists to investigate this woman’s finances, let’s subject Pete to daily public colonoscopies without anaesthetic or lubrication. I have no real reason for suggesting this, except that I think Pete might have a better idea of what public humiliation and unnecessary invasion of privacy might feel like if we ram a 15ft tube up his arse in public every day for a week, and he might end up thinking twice before he suggests something painful, humiliating and invasive so he can get closure. Which, incidentally, is something his arsehole won’t be getting for a while if we go through with my plan.

How it can be ‘racist’ to describe the overwhelming of the NHS; the education system; the benefits’ system; and every aspect that is free at point of delivery, defeats me. The combined idiocy of the awful Blair-Brown Terror and their ludicrous open door policy has reduced this country to a shambles and practically ungovernable. France has a much better health service but their benefits are not in the same league as ours, so everyone flocks to Britain.

The person from Dundee ought to spend some time here in London. She clearly lives in a parallel universe.
David Llewelyn Davies, London, a Region of the European Soviet Union

You’re right David. It’s not racist to describe all of those things. It’s just racist when you say things like “back home she would have been left in a mud hut to fend for herself” and “Ilford via where?” and “perhaps if she goes home she might get a better deal”. Oh, and mentioning all those things and then saying something about a “ludicrous open door policy” and relating it all to immigration, and blaming people of a different colour. That’s racist – in fact, the blue riband of being a racist twat. It’s like a more nuanced, “I’m not racist, but…”

Just for fun, here’s another one about the same hospital, this time involving someone brown who died, but who has a husband with a better standard of English than most commenters. Can you spot the blame game in the comments?

That’s right… it’s the forrins we got for nurses. Merry Christmas. Seriously, have a good one.

Who would have thought that a Britney Spears concert would be shit? Well, the Telegraph obviously took time out to review it, as befits its status as a major piece of cultural history and a turning point in 21st century musical…

…no, who am I kidding. I can’t even be ironic about it. It’s all just shit. Not everyone thinks so, though.

You can tell a man wrote this!!

Britney has done an amazing job with her comeback, there’s not many people out there that could’ve done the same!

Lets be fair….. anyone with human emotions would look a little ‘unsure’ of themselves when on stage in front of thousands of people if they were bullied and hounded by the media like Brit is!!

And the reason Rhianna’s gig sold so many……well, personally I think that white people are becoming a minority in this country…..enough said!!!
Jessica Hulme

Yes, it’s the gender of the author that really distinguishes taste. After all, if this had been written by someone with a vagina, you could put your house on a very favourable review. Britney’s struggles with being an alcoholic, dope fiend, terrible parent and remote controlled pop wank are very much something all females can relate to, especially if said females are utter cretins that buy the fucking magazines that pay the photographers and journalists to bully and hound her. But I bet you’re not one of them, are you, Jess?

And enough said about the reasons Rhianna sold so many tickets – it’s all those black people taking over the Great White Britain, stupid! I know Jess didn’t say it as such, but her clumsy attempt at disguising her inherent bitter racism raises interesting philosophical questions. For instance, can you be white and like Rihanna? If the races mustn’t mix, where do we stand on Ricky Martin? Are the chances that you’re a groundlessly snobby piece of racist white trash wallowing in some suburban hole significantly higher if you admire Britney Spears? If a rancid fartbubble with an attitude problem and a false sense of smug superiority mutters racist comments behind the backs of their co-workers and there’s no-one around to hear it, does HR make a sound?

Oh, Jess. I feel like I know you. In the sense that I’ve known many people who make trashy, snide comments behind people’s backs and who feel the internet is some kind of safe refuge, some magical land where they can use their Twitter account to comment on Telegraph articles, without realising that their real name appears on it and they can’t delete it.

erm, I went to the Rihanna gig at the 02. Was mostly white. I’m confused about what you’re implying?
Diva Devotee

She’s implying she’s a massive racist. Or am I inferring that? No, I don’t think it’s an inference when someone’s just done the internet equivalent of nudging you in the ribs ten times with an elbow and an exaggerated wink. Also, I don’t think you’re confused – I think you’re being polite. Just call a spade a spade. Jess does.

I don’t know why but I have a strange relationship with Britney. There is a sweetness and vulnerability that will always make me root for her like I do no one else. I would probably even go and watch her if she decided to come out on a wheel chair and mime to her hits.

The problem I have is that many of the decisions in her life- including being on tour- don’t seem to be her choice. I was horrified to read that she doesn’t even have control over her own money, due to her mental state, but they seem to think it’s okay to trot her out on tour.

All is obviously not well in camp Britney and I actually feel guilty parting with money that may lead to the prolongation of this painful puppet show. However, Britney could make not spending money on her a whole lot easier for me if she stopped releasing albums that are just so damn addictive (ie. everything after, and including the Blackout album) .

Get well soon Brit. I’m rooting for you!
Diva Devotee

Yes, if only she wouldn’t carry on releasing those albums and doing those shows you’ve just said she’s being forced to do. Then you wouldn’t have to go and see them. Not that you have the power of independent choice or anything. No, it’s okay. You just keep knowingly contributing to the downfall of someone you consider sweet and vulnerable, and give us a frank admission that you’d continue to do so way beyond the point of farce. It’s not like it’s a complete tragedy and an indictment on the way we elevate and destroy celebrity status with some kind of bizarre, insect-like mass behaviour. Not when you get to dance around the front room to her CD for 20 minutes on the weekend.

On second thought, I think Jess did confuse you, didn’t she?

While you’re reading that finely sifted horseshit – and the lumpy horseshit that makes up the comments section – remember to thank Charlie, who braved it all to find us some people who were decidedly less than eloquent about how they’re not racist and it’s all just cultural. Or genetic. Or both.

I await with interest the public explosion when some scientist shows that there IS a genetic difference in the races. I have taught mathematics for 45 years and in that time I have noticed that Japanese, Chinese, Indian and some white students thrive in abstract concepts -essential in advanced mathematics – but that sub-Saharan Africans find the whole subject a bore. This may be because I am a boring individual but then there might be other reasons.
tony2back

Yes. There might be. It might be because you Tipp-Exed numbers onto everyone’s foreheads because you couldn’t tell them apart otherwise. Incidentally, we’re on the lookout for the gene that makes people overrate their made-up anecdotal evidence. Can you help out? It’ll take five minutes with a sub-Saharan African and a small cup.

I am married to a Chinese woman.

Based on their different genetic make up and cultural background I could tell you a great deal of different characteristics between her and my white Caucasian sister.

The ability to get things down from high shelves without the use of a stool would be the first that springs to mind. My wife’s work ethic which puts everyone else I know to shame being the second.

By the definition of the word any realist is in fact a racist different ethnic make up equals’ different characteristics fact.
sailor25

See, this is why I bother with this shit. It’s to find out things you couldn’t possibly know until some prepackaged fanny puts it on the internet – in this case, I just found out that my wife, who’s been working 60 hour weeks lately and can’t reach the top shelf in the supermarket, is Chinese. You live and learn. Except for sailor25. He lives and becomes a bit stupider every day. It must be all the Chinese food his wife is inevitably good at cooking. Because she’s from China and she’s a woman! See! It’s genetics! And culture!

I’m bored of this now. It might seem a bit premature, given that there’s 2,000 comments on there, but I got utterly sick of reading through debates made up of mindless bollocks spunked out by unmitigated realists, who, by pure chance, are all being realistic about black people.

Oh, alright, one more.

Listen to David Lammy: an archetypical successful black man. If you turned the screen off, so you were listening to him on the radio, you’d think he was white.
David Starkey

Yeah. And if I turned the screen off, so I was listening to you on the radio, I’d still think you were some kind of cuntish pseudo-celebrity trying to increase his exposure by aiming right for where his Daily Mail reading target audience like to be tickled. But if it helps, I’d also think you were white.

So a Parrot can learn Urdu as well as English while a bloke in Pakistan gets his wife to sue the British Government because HE refuses to learn English, and unless he does we won’t let him migrate here. It sort of puts things in perspective dosn’t it!
Marshian, Romney Marsh

Yep, sure does. For instance, I’m a long way away from you right now, but even from here I can tell that your brain is very, very small. Incidentally, the parrot can also bark like a dog, so you can expect him to start making comments on the Daily Mail website any day now.

are you crackers? it’s a PARROT!
rosy bertram, essex

That was quick! Also, hilarious.

I would have liked to help stop the thuggary but I did not want to get arrested, sued, breach their human rights, get fined by “no win no fee” solicitors, get a criminal record, lose my job. It looks like the law/police/goverment is on the side of the thugs, blindfolding common sence. If the the law is incapable then take away all their money including their family who shelter them.
david jones, walsall uk

Oh, fucking hell, David! Just when we needed you! Just when Commissioner Gordon was on the blower to me, asking exactly where you were, and if your Batman suit had come back from the dry cleaners yet – now you tell us that this is the point where you can’t help us any more! After all, when law and order has broken down, when the State has failed and when anarchy prevails, you’re quite rightly scared of getting sued! On contingency! These things happen. I’ve seen The Incredibles. You’d end up in kangaroo court or something, and I’ve heard they’re even more sarcastic than Judge Judy.

Just when we need David Jones where he does most good – on the streets of Walsall in rubber undies, wandering around with what the guy in the shop told him was a 12″ black rubber serrated baton – he fails us. The alternative plan of taking all their money away could work, but without David to protect us they’ll just steal all our stuff anyway! And they can do that even when they’ve had their benefits cut!

DAVID, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US??? WHO WILL SAVE US NOW!!?!

Two superheroes have been spotted in and around London over the past few days called ‘Blackman and Robbing’.
Call-me-Coconut, UK

Well, Clinical Depression Boy is about to turn up. Can he help us? Unlikely. He usually just induces catatonic foetal positions and extended absences from the internet.

TEAR GAS – RUBBER BULLETS – TASERS -STUN GUNS – CHEMICAL PARALYZING SPRAYS – HIGH AUDIO FREQUENCY BLASTERS – TRANQUILIZING ELEPHANT GUN DARTS – WATER CANNONS WITH PURIFYING ROTTING DYE – all need to be used ASAP and all we get from this home secretary is she tells us she is watching the CCTV…………………………….!!!!!!!
Roy, Essex

Oh, thank fuck for that. Our worries are over. It turns out that Roy will defend us all, weilding the massive hard-on he gets after reeling off the names of a whole bunch of fictional military technology what he did drew when it was raining. Just pray to God he doesn’t have a wank.

Anyway, never mind calling out for a hero. What we really need to know is how we can connect this to Muslims.

Here is another reason to outright BAN face coverings.
melita, ex pat

Thanks melita! And give my regards to Pat when you see him. Unless he still thinks you’re a cunt and avoids you like the plague, like everyone else.

Justin says that “Pretty much anything FirstAdvisor has to say” marks him out for being a grade A tagnut. Actually, I added the tagnut bit, but you can have a go at completing Justin’s sentence for him as well. Pretty much anything derogatory toward FirstAdvisor is going to be right. Favourites around here right now are “anal polyp”, “rotting elephant period” and “just some kind of cunt.”

I probably shouldn’t say cunt. After all, there’s enough undereducated, idiotic misogyny worthy of a 1950s sitcom going around without me contributing to it. Isn’t there.

The whole idea of females working outside the typical occupations of teaching, nursing, agriculture, clerking, retail, and so on is wildly impractical and unrealistic. The percentage of exceptional females in a field of typical males just isn’t high enough to make any significant influence in any national economy. The major importance of females is as consumers, mindlessly keeping the economy rolling along by buying worthless garbage like makeup and 10 pairs of shoes.
FirstAdvisor

So we take some exceptional females – albeit a massively high percentage of them – put them in a field with some typical males and then the economy grows? I’m confused. Why are they in a field? I know people are trying to ‘grow’ the economy, but I don’t think they mean it in the agricultural sense. Besides, how is exceptional females standing around in a field supposed to help? Is it the agricultural skills? Does it keep them away from shoes and makeup? Is that the plan? We’re going to take exceptional females and surround them with men in a field so they stop thiking about shoes and makeup and concentrate on agricultural skills? But don’t shoes and makeup grow the economy? Oh, wait, no. We put the exceptional ones in a field with some men, plough some shit up, earn some money that way, and then the typical females stand in a street with exceptional males and Bob’s your uncle, something wonderful happens, like they use the money from the exceptional females working in the field to buy shoes while the exceptional males stand around with clipboards and do some research proving that once and for all, you’re some kind of cunt.

Sorry, I think I called him a cunt again. Whoops. I meant, of course, some kind of cunt.

Libyan mothers crying? Only for the cameras. Muslims are incapable of human feelings (being zombie-creatures, human corpses animated by demons from Hell), neither for their little terrorist-larvae nor anything else. It is your humanity which is suspect, since you seem to believe Muslims share it. Are you going to call me a Kraut now, bigot?Your comments are very dull and boring. Nearly everyone on the forum is far smarter and more educated than you are. You write like a 70-year-old farmer.As I have already explained, if you had the IQ to understand the concept, no American is going to tell the truth to a stranger over the phone who knows their full family name and home address, when the American is asked his opinion of Jews. Anyone with an IQ of 70, the legal retardate level, would know this without being told, because he would be born and raised in the US, surrounded by Jews all his life. The American would know to keep his mouth shut about what he honestly thought, and just tell the pollster whatever the pollster wanted to hear. The Gallup poll is pure propaganda, worse than worthless as factual evidence, and everyone in the world knows it. Except you, apparently, because of your low IQ. It’s not surprising that you don’t even know what the word ‘bigot’ means, or that you are one.
FirstAdvisor

You couldn’t make it up. Well, you could, but people would point at you and say things like “You’re making it up!” and wouldn’t ever believe that Rudolf Hoess survived a hanging.

I don’t think we need men with clipboards to conclude this research successfully.

But what happens when they start clamouring for the right to self-govern? Can they be trusted with freedom? Are they ready for it? Or will they, in fact, use it to mount global jihad? I think we all know the answer to that question. jack certainly thinks he does.

He doesn’t, though, he’s a fucking moron. Thanks to Andrew for finding him.

Should we be concerned about Egypt, I am old enough to remember 1967, the Middle East War only ceased because the West bought off Egypt! An unstable or at worst an Iranian influenced Egypt will lead to one thing, WW111. WW11 was about the Jews and again WW111 will also be. Just look at Iraq when Sadam was dislodged – mayhem, the same will be the case in Egypt but magnified many times. Be careful what you wish for there are far worse things then the devil!
jack

At least, I hope he’s wrong. The world’s still reeling from WW110.

Being a native of Newcastle & being quite able to speak the Queens English too, i’ll be happy to translate , post me the hourly rate..

Fusilier, Newcastle upon Tyne

Dear Fusilier,
Thank you for your interest in working for us. However, we are unfortunately unable to accept applications through newspaper comments sections. Please staple a copy of your CV to an old carrier bag and hang it in a tree. Thank you.

Leave regional accents alone! They are what gives flavor and character to a country.

tea drinker, lipton, usa

I could have sworn this was about recruiting interpreters for them rather than actually doing anything like banning them. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it’s the same thing. Maybe every time anything is mentioned in a newspaper, it goes illegal, and that’s how it works. I never knew. Am I reading the wrong way? I look at all the words and punctuation, in order usually, and then use their context and my existing knowledge of the English language to piece together what they mean as an ensemble. I don’t seem to be getting the right effect.

Maybe I should take a leaf out of Jane here’s book. Glance briefly at the headline, read eight words at random from the main body, roll it up, place it under my head as a pillow and close my eyes. Then whatever I dream – that’s the news.

What another waste of taxpayers money in this hard pressed times.They chose to come here either live with it or go home.

Jane, U.K

I’m now imagining Jane sitting at her desk, eating a banana, waving it at a colleague and saying through each mouthful “you know they’ve only gone and banned these now”.

Finally, a pompous pair arse of arsecheeks writes:

Sadly TV Channels – notably 5 and 4 pander to ridiculously exaggerated Geordie accents in the continuity announcers – but the truth is these people are virtually unemployable outside such niche areas or labouring. Similarly with the Glaswegian accent which is difficult to undertand at the best of times, but really dreaded by staff in English A&E Departments where combined with drunkeness it is unintelligble. I have often wondered whether school teachers in these areas have the same accent or just give up on trying to encourage the standard English learned by Germans and other Europeans which is a delight to hear.

David Bachauer, Manchester uk

How quintessential, humorous and melodious are the British regional dialects.Symphonic and poetic they are a delight to the ears. Shame on anyone who tries to denigrate them with snobbish rubbish.

Jim Calvert, Penticton, Canada

Such laughable poncy cocks, but with such fascinatingly different poncy-cock perspectives. Maybe you could settle your differences with rusty hooks? Last man sighted wins?

Every child needs a dictionary, says a proper professor from a proper university and everything. The result is moderately predictable, but it might just make you feel slightly better about people who left the UK and claim that everyone and everything is awesome down under. Apparently it’s stuffed full of exactly the same people as the place you left. Who would have thought it?

Dave #6 Clearly you have never had to wright university essays or scientific journals or for that matter reports at all .

Stick to TV mate

Geoff #5 Spell checker on word does not teach you vocabulary , it often results in extremly poor grammer as word does not really perform grammer checks. People do a brain dump and then only look at individual words in spell check and leave it at that which often leads to extremly poor grammer

Stick to TV mate
Cam

So what kind of dump did you have to come out with that? I wouldn’t be following Cam‘s advice about sticking to TV, because I think he learned some of his spelling from Frasier. And the rest from Shortland Street.

Incidentally, what Cam should have done is lay his dump in Word first, like everyone else did. It just goes to show, you can sit a twat in front of a computer but you can’t make him think.

Splendid, another load of nonsense from an ‘educational’ professional. Never have so many few been so out of touch with so many. Since when has building vocabluary come from a dictionary….this is such nonsense. Where is his evidence, or is this something that this Professor has ‘just decided’?? For many of our children simply buying a book and a pen for school is a distant dream…(i am training to be a secondary teacher)…this guy need to get in the classroom and get real before ranting about the need for dictionaries!
Caro

Yeah, fuck it. Who needs a dictionary? And come to think of it, who needs a PhD and tenure at a university to know things? Jesus, I did two law modules in my second year of university and I get sick to fucking death of these ‘judges’ and ‘barristers’ going on and on about ‘points of law’. These ‘law professionals’ are just the same as these ‘educational professionals’ – they’re confusing ‘experience’ with common sense. So I know how Caro feels, what with that 6 months of teacher training she’s got under her belt. Still, it’s great that she seems to know that she’s not and never will be recognised as a professional in her field, or as someone who’s picked up a dictionary.

Caro didn’t fill me with confidence about the standard of teaching these days, but she did show everyone can have a positive impact on the world, no matter how difficult it is for them to grasp the simplest of concepts. Caro, for instance, got me to clean my monitor – when I first read this I swore blind her rabid flecks of spit appeared on my screen. I scrubbed and I scrubbed and I scrubbed, but I couldn’t get all the stupid out.

The literacy in this country is embarrassing , from whites also. For a first world country its extremely basic.
Engelbert

Yeah, it is, isn’t it? Still, nice to see that you recognised that white people can have literacy issues too.

It’s far too late. The human race is doomed. Children these days are semi-literate mongoloids who bludgeon the English language into submission every time they open their mouths. Incidentally, I’ve noticed their vocabulary of swear words continues to grow exponentially.
Cecil Willoughby

Oh, I don’t know. I’m getting on a bit, and I reckon I know a few more swear words than your average kid. For example, I read your comment – or the textual representation of wankcheese – and the first thing I thought was that you’re a complete and utter flange, and that I’d rather pop my own chalfonts with a rusty needle than have to consider that someone like you exists. Fortunately for me, you’re miles away and you live on an island with a massive propensity for natural disasters. If you couple that with the fact that you’re not as smart as you think, then I feel much better for the future of the human race. Except for Gwen Stefani.