spEak You're bRanes

“Should Catholic priests remain celibate?”

Celibacy isn’t a Christian idea, it comes from St Paul who, last time I checked wasn’t Jesus.
Wardonia

You could interpret this one in a couple of ways at least. It could be that she’s making a subtle allusion to the idea that, rather than being handed down to us by a benevolent beard in the sky, organised religions have actually been carefully domesticated, nurtured and husbanded by humans. She could be trying to gently suggest that any god shit you feel you absolutely have to indulge in should probably be personal. Or it could be that Wardonia is dangerously thick, permanently wrong, inexplicably smug and generally a shoo-in for the title of “World’s Most Ill-equipped Pedant – 2010″.

I went and read a few more of her comments, to see if I could tell. You’ve probably got a fair idea how that went.

“England’s children’s commissioner says the age of criminal responsibility should be raised from 10 to 12. Do you agree?”

From the age of nine to ten the human brain destroys a lot of brain connections it thinks it no longer needs and no further development of morals or conscience is possible.
Scientists have described this cull as ‘savage’.
Does this idiot think she knows better than scientists in this field? Or, as I suspect, this is the first move towards moving the age of criminal liability to age 25.
Wardonia

Do you think anyone has ever said “You’re not as stupid as you look” to Wardonia? Personally, I doubt it. But I guess there’s a chance she rides around on a tinsel-covered tricycle and has a cock and balls on her chin.

Thanks to Emily. From the Mail. Don’t click on the link.

I HAVE NOT READ THIS ARTICLE…

Because why should I or anyone else care?

- Jo, Bournemouth, England

I went one better. Didn’t read the article, didn’t comment. Kicking myself I didn’t ignore Jo from Bournemouth as well.

The Mail reports a court ruling that benefits overpaid as a result of OFFICIAL ERROR – that’s: OFFICIAL ERROR – can no longer legally be clawed back. Cue vibrating parade of point-missing…

This action is about right for LABOUR. Gordon Brown has no respect for our taxes, anyone can fiddle them or be over paid and do not have to pay them back, or paid back over 77 years. Brown seems to forget the people of this country has to work very hard for the money he is squandering.
BRING ON THE ELECTION to get rid of this incompetent government.
Maggie, Cheshire

You’re right, Maggie. The current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom is doing a shit job with these benefits and legal rulings. Instead of personally overseeing every single award issued by the DWP, he should delegate decisions on benefit claims to, ooh, let’s say, civil servants. And maybe he could entrust the application of law to… hey! How about the judiciary?

unbelievable; here’s my wallet help yourself
rob, a taxpayer, chesham, bucks

That’s basically how it’ll work, rob, a taxpayer (I see what you did there ha ha most amusing): rather than simply write off overpayments that have already been made from a pool of public money to which you’ve already contributed, the DWP will send large men called Wayne round to strip your home of valuables, empty your bank account and give everything to the first person they see wearing a tracksuit.

Then they’ll shit in your dinner.

And give that to a tramp.

now if they where politicians they would get off with it
jon uk, uk

There’s a lot of righteous fury in this thread about the expenses scandal. Which is to be expected, given that the expenses scandal has been making the news again recently, what with Sir Thomas Legg very much not letting these bloody politicians get off with it.

Cheers, though.

So who made this mistake? Some idiot cost the nation an absolute fortune. Name?
Rick, Scunthorpe, Lincs

Gordon Brown, forgot to carry the fucking 1 or something, didn’t he? Haven’t you been listening? God.

The following text is about private organ transplants:

Should private transplants be banned?
The government will ban all private transplants of organs from dead British donors to stop foreign patients paying for scarce organs needed within the NHS. Do you agree with the decision?

Is the government:

• a) banning them
• b) in favour of them
• c) personally carrying them out?

As with everything this Labour government views everything as a cash cow, even our bodies after death.

My donor card has been cut up this morning.

Steve Wright

I’d be banging my head on the desk right now if I didn’t suspect that Steve Wright cuts up a donor card for every HYS debate.

I have no problem with my organs going to the person in greatest need – whether there are a UK citizen or not. If the Government implements a racist allocation policy then I will get rid of the donor card. I do agree that no-one should jump the queue by paying, but this should apply regardless of where they are from.

Peter O’Connell, Croydon

I like this comment. I like to picture the smirk spreading across Peter O’Connell’s face, as he presses ‘submit’, thinking “I’m so different from the rest of the rabble here. So much more liberal. So much more enlightened. So much more…literate”.

About time moves were made to stop non-nationals coming to the UK and getting whatever they can at the expense of a UK tax-paying citizen.

[BostinJack]

I heard Somalis are getting THREE lungs EACH just for turning up and then using them to inhale benefits.

No I don’t see the problem in private transplants. I do see a problem in foreign patients having them.

Guy Flowers, Sheffield, United Kingdom

It’s ok if they bring their own organs in with them though, right? If they pay like a kidney in import duty or something.

I have may friends abroad who use this website as a language learning exercise.

The amount of xenophobia displayed in this (and other threads) makes me despair.

How do decent people, eager to learn about British culture, feel?

Gala

This could be the most spine-chilling thing I’ve ever read on Have Your Say.

Thanks to James. There must be another thread up on knifecriming or something. I guess these things go in cycles. One week it’s “What, specifically, do you hate most about Muslims?”, and then a bit of “On a scale of nine to ten, how terrified are you of the under-35s?” for balance.

How about this for a radical idea, we quickly pass the relevant legislation all over the UK and for one month no police leave. Every officer spends every day and night on the streets. They stop every young person and remove every weapon and charge every one with carrying an offensive weapon. If they did this regularly and did not listen to all the silly people who say we must respect the human rights of people who are carrying offensive weapons we may again clean up our streets. We need sense
LYDIA REID, EDINBURGH Don’t mention Christianity or the HEFA Bill

Lydia has obviously misunderstood something about the term ‘sleeping policemen’, but I can’t quite put my finger on what.

From the debate about British soldiers’ human rights. Some background:
“The Ministry of Defence said the convention could not be guaranteed in certain situations but the new ruling means the European Convention on Human Rights applies to UK forces abroad – even in battle.
But the family of Pte Smith had argued that soldiers should be covered by the Human Rights Act wherever they are in the world at all times.
The Court of Appeal said the ‘right to life’ meant the MoD had a legal duty to provide adequate equipment.”

However, read through the eyes of an angry yet patriotic halfwit who dare not waste a second lest his own, ready-formed opinion be unnecessarily delayed, it clearly states:

“The Ministry of Defence blah blah thingummy blah blah blah thingummy blah wotsit yaddayadda blah blah blah thingy blah blah European thingummy blah Human Rights something blah UK forces yewhat – thingy blah battle.
Blah blah family blah thingy-face blah soldiers blah blah thingy blah blah Human Rights Act thingummy blah blah blah blah probably muslims blah blah blah blah.
Blah Court of Appeal blah ‘right blah blah’ blah blah MoD blah blah legal thingy blah yewhat thingummy whatsitcalled.”

What a nonsense. Bring all the troops back home and send the lawyers and judges out in their place. Let them make informed and effectively-debated decisions about safety and conditions on the battlefield, with deference to due process and precedent, naturally.

What a tragic shambles of a country we are becoming, where there is no such thing as an accident, and every single decision made in public life must stand up to scrutiny by a courtroom filled with parasitic lawyers and journalists.
David, Stockport

nonsense. troops home lawyers and judges. on the battlefield, naturally (due process). tragic shambles of a country filled with parasitic lawyers and journalists.

See, I managed to say exactly the same thing as you in much less time, and with even less thought. And it sounds like Radiohead. Try it.

Presumably a ‘elf n safety’ assessment will have to be done whenever we next enter a war zone.
The Rev Oik, Reading

That’s a bit better. Cut it down. Don’t bother thinking about the actual story, just hammer in your vague, raging scepticism at the key words and chuck in someone else’s catchphrase. You can get a lot more comments in that way.

No! and nor should anyone else. Revoke the act immediatley and deal with those who hind behind it
Alf Moores, Stockport

Too far the other way Alf. You missed out the all-important bit where you exempt your own rights. Otherwise people can just knee you in the nuts every time you express an opinion. And believe me, they will. Maybe add a quick “indigenous population” or a “law-abiding citizens”. Or recategorise soldiers as useless, overpaid public sector employees and rant about “hard-working taxpayers”. But don’t go painting yourself into a corner by forgetting that rights are for you and rules are for other people.

The world has gone mad!

Out of Europe NOW!
[Pizzey]

Brilliant [Pizzey], you’ve got the hang of it perfectly. Now listen carefully. Highlight the text, click on ‘Edit’ at the top of the screen and select ‘Copy’. Now go to another debate, click ‘Add Your Comment’, and then bellow “En-ger-laaand!” while holding down the key marked ‘Ctrl’ and pressing ‘V’. Do the same with all the other debates. Repeat twice every hour and we’ll be out of the EU in no time.

I have literally no idea what this man is trying to say. Even by Have Your Say’s pisspoor standards, this is special. What makes it worse is that he obviously thinks he’s ramming home some kind of inescapable conclusion. Like he had a good long think, maybe drew a quick truth table, and worked it all out.

“Why is it that arab & islamic “public opinion” is never inflamed by the absolute horror hell 30-a-cell situation in most arab prisons?
marcus marcuse“

Could one of the 113 people recommending that tell me how inflaming Arab sentiment by US atrocities is equated to inflaming Arab sentiment by Arab atrocities?

You should be asking about US inflamed by Arab atrocities.

And why do you think the people in the army did this? Inflamed by Arab atrocities.
Mark, Exeter

Right you are. Maybe get some ointment for that.

The government has decided not to downgrade ecstasy, flying in the face of advice suggesting it’s no more dangerous than horseriding. Feel free to ignore everything I’ve said there.

i think this is the most stupid thing i have heard how can they down grade ecstacy and put it at the same level as weed ecstacy has killed so many people coursed so many problem has weed done that its just gonna make people take it more often and more people are gonna have problems why can u go out and take a pill that could kill you but u cant have a joint with a few mates and just chill i have never heard anything so silly in my life what is happening to the coverment

steffie, bournemouth

You’re just bitter because possession of cannabis can lead to a long sentence.

Get it? Long sentence?

Never mind.

MAD!!! WHY would you degrade a substance that kills and can do instantly!! its not about numbers of dead its about how the drug can kill.

JUST STUPID! Ecstasy is NOT less harmful than alcohol or tobacco, its ILLEGAL thats why there are fewer people because its harder to buy!

It amazes me is that there are schemes out there (speak to Frank) trying hard to make us aware of the serious dangours and now the government want to lower the class!!!!

Do they want more people to die?

Sheilagh-Anne, Bracknell

Normally I’d write a jokey, snide response to Sheilagh-Anne here, but I can’t because I’m so fucking tired of people who can’t tell the difference between the words “are” and “are not” assuming that people who get paid to do statistical analysis for a living haven’t considered a little thing like proportionality when they put their studies together. Here’s a life tip: If you can’t explain how a light bulb works then shut your cake flap, let the grownups do the science, and stick to worrying about whether this really is it for Jordan and Peter this time.

This is CRAZY!! ‘e’s are a really bad drug!!! I have used drugs like this and they are a dirty drug!! How can they downgrade this filthy man made drug?!!! And upgrade a natural substance like cannabis!?!?! CRAZY!!!!

Ross, Portsmouth

What do you expect from a government that classified a natural substance like arsenic as “toxic” and decided hydrogen should be “inflammable”?

Thanks to Izzy. Gordon Brown’s speech. Your views?

to be honest i dont care anymore, no matter how much we moan how much this country actually hates labout we will never be able to push them out, they will decide when the election is and nit us, so i just laught now, bleed me dry and penalise me for not being a muslim for not being gay and for not being a pregnant junckie because lets face it these groups get everything from this lot, i just laught as karma is a wonderful thing
[acrobatickenny1], scotland

I’ve said this a thousand times, but all you need to do is put some fucking effort in. Stop bleating about being a poor, neglected, non-Muslim, straight male. Convert to Islam or suck another man’s cock and you too can claim fifty grand a year and a free X-box.

Should the Italian army be brought in to shoot brown people? Of course! They should be brought in all the way to Britain!

Great idea. I vote we get the army into some of our finest sink estates in the uk and tackle, drug dealers, burglars, rapists, muggers, old people beaters, joy riders, vandals…etc ..etc. Or would that infringe someones human rights?

Aaron Gutan, lichfield, United Kingdom

Don’t worry. Martial law has never been a human rights issue anywhere, ever. It’ll be fine.

It is appropriate for any nation to employ its military to deal with an invasion.
[Sunny-Meadow], West Virginia, United States

If only we’d had the sense to bring in the army when the Romans invaded Britain and started cleaning our toilets for less than minimum wage.

World war 2 was fought for nothing nazisms back
ant omalley, United Kingdom

Speaking as someone whos father fought in WW2 and lost 2 uncles, 1 at Dunkirk, 1 in the Atlantic convoys, WW2 was not fought so we could populate our countrys with illegal immigrants at the expense of the locals, it was fought for freedom and freedom of speech, the very thing that is now in danger.
See if this comment gets printed to prove that!
john Adair, England Not Britain, Virgin Islands (UK)

No matter that your comment was never printed, your tremendous personal courage in having relatives in the army before you were born has brought a tear to my eye. In honour of your heroism, I will allow you to personally decide immigration policy. Your brown Dulux chart and nose-measuring stick are in the post.