spEak You’re bRanes

From a debate about boys playing with toy guns. Becca sent me these while she was drunk. Thanks Becca.

Of course — after all in America guns are opart of life — and over here they will be soon too — to defend onself agaist the blacks the wogs and the ofer immgrents
Liam byrne, Westminster

What you really need is a machine gun emplacement in the heart of Westminster. You’d have no hope of mowing down thousands of grass-skirted Zulus using a few rifles. Just ask Michael Caine.

It is all relevent to the hunting instinct built into the male, just lets them get on with it, it will be fine. DO NOT immaculate or try to feminise them, this is bad for society.
Chris, Southampton

I’m laughing at you Chris.

Thanks to Gideon for this one from “Is war being glamorised to promote recruitment in the armed forces?”. Three people recommended it.

It his gloriouse to fight for ones country . What does the JRCT think his glamorus winnig who wants to Joseph or what ever its called [ bbc] these peopl are left wing loonies . REMEMBER it was men like these oure [troops] who broght freebom and hope to the world.
ps. why is the bbc only publishing left wing comments.
Darren Jones, Barry Wales UK

It’s because the BBC is run by commies, obviously.

I’ve been to Barry once. A truly horrible place. It was summed up nicely when we saw a mad drunk woman get run over (on purpose) by a bloke who reversed into her because she had attacked his car with her handbag. We’d spent a little while watching the events unfold and, by the time he reversed into her, we had run out of sympathy for the awful squawking harpy. We pretty much agreed that a good running-over was richly deserved. However, it looked like she had injured her ankle and, as she lay in the gutter swearing and crying, we went over to help. I asked her if she needed any help or for us to call an ambulance and she looked up at me through her streaking mascara and screamed “FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING QUEER”.

Thanks to Sam for this one from a Telegraph comment section.

Price rises,what price rises ,the rich english can pay up.its needed ,it makes britain great.ask the english pesaents ,england rules the waves.we a great country ,ask the english ,no country is better than england he believes this so he will gladly pay up.cant understand what the fuss is about ,the people at the top need more bonouses,more pay rises for themselves and more profit and handouts .its totally unfair ,they doing they best for england.
Posted by joseph walker on January 7, 2008 11:32 AM

My current theory is that these sort of comments are the result of a glacial typing speed. By the time Joseph gets halfway through a sentence, he has little chance of remembering why on earth he started it. I expect he squints at his keyboard for minutes at a time before carefully placing his thumb on another letter and then pressing down hard, like a child making a macaroni picture.

Thanks to Bernadette. I think this is from a debate about banning children from pubs.

It seem’s like to many people here are speaking for pubs on the whole, having worked in the industry for a few years now.

Im inclinded to make people aware that most republicans i have worked with want famlies, because if you know any thing about the industry you cannot make a profit on beverage sales alone if you are a small independant family run pub families make up a good percentage.

I see where people are comming from but this subject is not clear cut by any means.
James, Tintern

The last thing you need in a family pub is that booze-sodden Queen turning up again, flashing her mimsy and generally scaring the living bejesus out of all the kiddies.

oh dear that PC no risk must be allowed to happen to anyone is creeping into yet another part of our society, this time the armed forces! Fear of risk something that may happen but never has syndrome which will wreck our nation, strangled in red tape! Anyone joining the armed foces would be completely stupid to think it may never be dangerous, some people thrive on danger and risks others dont hence they leave, we need to let people choose not keep highlighting risks and spoiling life for all!

[GlobalTemplar], Kingston upon Thames, United Kingdom

Twat.

Thanks to Becca. From the “How can the UK boost its education standards?” page.

bring back the old school teachers that new how to educate children and knew how to put the fear into these kids the teachers now are to matey and the same age as the kids. most children would always fear the kane and the ones that did not got the kane and it worked ,certian children need to be kaned,
francis manser, dover, United Kingdom

I think their big mistake was to carry on training teachers after you left school Francis. They should have stuck with the original lot who, even if they couldn’t teach you how to write a coherent sentence, at least have the decency to continue being older than you, no matter how old you get.

I perused a few more of Francis’s posts. Comedy gold all the way through. I briefly debated whether it’s right to laugh at someone who obviously has problems writing. I decided that it’s not right, but that I’m going to do it anyway. To make up for this, I feel compelled to point out that Francis is less racist, generally more pleasant and FAR more entertaining than most of the hateful wanksocks you find on HYS.

if you could see the amout of rubbish and griffti and damage that is done to these trains you can under stand why the price of tickets are going up and up its the people that damage the trains and the rails that help push the fairs up the cleaners are fighting a loosing battle and the people that remove the griffti. and the track men that remove all sorts of stuff of the lines that try to keep your train on time plus many many more jobs so dont keep complaing when you see some doing wrong grass
francis manser, dover, United Kingdom

Doing wrong grass can REALLY fuck you up.

is dog racing horse racing darts conquers driving yearning marbels and on and on and on and on and on its a sport if there is more than one person invovled it all to do with competion you know when you have been beat when you have train and trained and lost or won
francis manser, dover, United Kingdom

Conquers driving yearning marbels indeed, Francis. Conquers driving yearning marbels.

We brits need to admit to ourself that we have LOST control of what it means to be British and just ride off into the sunset with what pride we have left.
I am myself leaving in january with a tear in my eye.
FORCED out as a refugee by left wing biggots who have sold my country.
Mark, Plymouth

These fucking militant lefties eh? Losing control of what it means to be British! Careless fools! They should have kept what it means to be British somewhere safer (probably in an ornately carved box, lined with fur from Her Majesty’s own mimsy). What were they doing instead? Selling off our transport systems, hospitals and schools to multinational corporate communists, intent on redistributing our wealth, that’s what!

We need a law to FORCE corporations and governments to adopt capitalism and prevent this red plague from spreading further. If we fail, we will FORCE more breathtakingly gullible halfwits like Mark to ride off into the sunset with tears in their eyes.

It’s always nice when someone turns up a genuine “why don’t you go live there”. Thanks to Duncan for this fine specimen. Squawk your terror.

I can’t wait to here the left wing use “multiculturalism and the “West’s foriegn policy” to give these MURDERERS an excuse to kill…go live in a country of SHira Law if that’s how you feel…..
millsusa, Boston

I CAN’T HEAR U. PLS TO SCREAM LOUDER. THX.

,if they brake the law deport them simple
lorna pope

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE LESS PACKAGING ON TOYS
lorna pope

These new ideas just keep arriving, thick and fast. She barely has time to write them down. Even now, fresh revelations are jostling for position in the maelstrom that is Lorna’s mind.

Someone kindly pointed me in the direction of Lorna Pope, frequent HYS poster and barely literate racist.

they should focus on are own poor families and stop spending on building more hostels for none english, there are to many people coming to live in england and bringing there families, LETS LOOK AFTER ARE OWN, if we went to there country we would not get half of what they get here
lorna pope

Well, you might get a proper education for a start.