spEak You’re bRanes

Thanks to Angel.

What is your reaction to Budget 2008?

Whatever happens, it won’t benefit me.

I drive a car to get to work every day to do a job I hate, so I can pay tax so other people don’t have to..

I’d leave if I had my own country to go back to.
Working Class tax payer, Bracknell

Hate your job? Hang yourself.

I know of a house near my Mother’s that is full of eastern european agricultural workers. Often there are 12 living there in a 3 bed: terraced.

They only pay the same council tax as my mother and brother that occupy an identical house.

So, 12 pay the same to the council as 2 and my mother is an 80 year old pensioner.

Now, if we had the Poll Tax, which meant all individuals paid, the 12 would be paying 6 x as much and consequently would be contributing more to local services. Job done!
Britain’s Ruined, Reading

Less whining, more action. Invite a dozen desperately skint labourers to bunk up with your mum and she can start saving money today!

Thanks to Nick for this (most recommended) post from “Should police get better pay rise?”

Once again it’s everyone else in the UK apart from the Scots who are getting a raw deal from this government

The Scottish mafia that are in charge of the government ensure that their own are looked after, the rest can go whistle

They already get £1,500 per head more spent on things such a free prescriptions,free university etc

Now a betrayal of a promise and a supposed pay ‘increase’ which is well below the governments rate of inflation

Except those that are Scottish of course.
The Guv’nor, Wirral

Fuck it, let’s invade.

I suspect there’s plenty more joy to be had in that thread. I found the next one a few posts down.

All these people moaning about how you never see police on the streets.

Don’t blame the brave police men and women, blame the government who think it is more important ofr them to complete statistical monitoring forms than actually be out on the streets dealing with crime!

You’ve been robbed, and you’re a one eyed, afro carribean lesbian with learning difficulties??

Well there’s another 4 monitoring forms for them to fill in to start with!!
Alan Walters, Salford

I think somebody needs to re-sit their “Bigotry and Shouting” module. You correctly blamed the government for the extra red-tape (although you could have got bonus marks for mentioning civil service pensions) but the blind, black lesbians were not strictly appropriate here. Also, it’s “one-legged” not “one-eyed”, ok? We’re angry with them because they get all our money in benefits and lottery funding, not because of extra forms.

Would a fat tax work?

ALERT,ALERT.A very sudden outbreak of the “Taxus again virus”
Is set to strike,with the possibility of it starting in Australia.Sources are saying under the guise of the “obesity syndrome”, it could become rampant,the virus will target many of the unwary.The newly set-up STUFF THE TAXUS AGAIN WATCHYOURMONEYDOG is very much on the case,and is closely watching developments.

Ron C, Northwest, United Kingdom

You don’t have the wit to pull this off Ron.

I started reading this one and decided I needed to include it. Then, I got to the bottom and realised that it’s another UglyJohn effort. I suspect it’s because he posts about ten times a day (seriously). Most of it’s just everyday arsewash but there’s the occasional amusingly foolish one. I’ve made a new category for these people called “The Regular Twats”.

Welcome to Doublethink

NATIONAL GOVERNMENT SAYS
“More immigrants - more tax revenue.” Doubleplus good.

LOCAL GOVERNMENT SAYS
“More immigrants - greater expense.” Doubleplus bad.

They can’t both be true. So either local or national government are lying.

Which is it more likely to be? Well Bottler Brown has got the form.

[UglyJohn]

“They can’t both be true. So either local or national government are lying”? Are you a fucking simpleton? You’re never going to get your xenophobic views accepted as part of the mainstream until you stop revealing that you’re a bit dim. Who’s going to want to line up behind someone who can’t even understand the basic idea that more people equals more tax AND more expense? Come on John, get with the Intelligent Hating.

Yes,YES, YES tax cuts will be always be a VOTE winner in my book. I am sick of paying for all Gordon Brown’s dotty ideas? for instance I don’t want to give more money to pregnant women, who get child benefit when they produce a child, especially when the health service is as bad as it is. If you can’t afford it don’t have children, so get pregnant and certainly don’t expect the state to keep them.

Mother of 4

Melanie Pearce, United Kingdom

LOOK OUT MELANIE!!! BEHIND YOU! IT’S A WOLF! A FUCKING PAEDO WOLF! SAVE THE BABIES.

Why do these people always say “Mother of 4″ or whatever as if that lends weight to their squawking? Do they think that there’s some sort of correlation between intelligence and the level of damage sustained to your twat during childbirth? “I’ve got 4 kids. I’ve spent the last 7 years gurgling into a cot and cleaning up piss, shit and vomit. I rarely interact with other adults and don’t have time to read. The last time I learned anything was from Thomas the Tank Engine. My poor long-suffering foo-foo is now so stretched out of shape that it looks more like a ballsack than a fanny. NOW, LISTEN TO MY OPINIONS ABOUT POLITICS.”

Thanks to Greg.

i think that theres now more money that EVER going into the NHS (Ever increasing tax/NI) however, the number of people claiming treatment without paying in has risen so dramatically that it cannot cope. Change the NHS to either - Pay for treatment like USA. or, to qualify, had to have lived in the uk 10 years OR have had a job for 3 months, other wise you’re not qualified. MAKE them get jobs, MAKE them go home! People who work and pay into the system should b priority. END OF.
Faye, Halifax

Faye, you’re a prick.

Thanks to Eddie for browsing through the Inheritance Tax HYS.

This is an awful tax - you go out to work and slave and save all your life. You pay tax when you earn your wealth - but if you then want to either spend it or give it away you get taxed again. HM Gov gets ‘a percentage’ on each transaction…..reminds one of the mafia….Once u have paid tax on your wad u should be able to do what you want with it - and not have to worry about your family having to cough up inheritance tax because the Gov wants to tax the dead as well as the living… abolish it now, it’s unreasonable for the rest of the family to have to pay 40% to stay in the family home!”

paul ingram, edinburgh

Eddie says “I particularly like the gratuitous comparison with organised crime, because of course when the mafia take your money they spend it on public services, don’t they? As a matter of fact my local mafia has just increased its protection rates and I don’t see what I’m getting for that extra money, I think they’ve spent it on yet more bureaucracy, hare-brained parking schemes and FAT CAT MAFIA PENSIONS.”

Another one from Tomsk.

Three Cheers for Pathetic Britain! Hip Hip Horray!

Again the government wasting tax payers money what has happened to this country i remember when it was once Great Britain! Now look at it! Seem to be turning more and more into Great Britistan by the day! Oh im sorry can i say that as we no longer have freedom of speech in this country! Well the white man does not i should say!

Guyza, Newcastle

Well! Guyza! What can I say! Nice punctuation! Textbook tax bore! Racism agogo! You really have covered all the bases! A HYS full-house!

If I were to offer some criticism, it would be that you missed a perfect opportunity when you wrote “Hip Hip Horray!” instead of “Hip Hop Hooray!”. The trick is to freely associate. Just let the stereotypes and ignorant bumgibber come bubbling out of your horrid stinky face without pausing to think about it. It might seem like a minor niggle but it’s a slippery slope. You start by missing an opportunity to blurt your racist ignorance and suddenly, 6 months later, you’ll find yourself using sane punctuation and actually thinking before you open your mouth. Stay vigilant.

A couple of years ago I was told I owed them thousands of pounds, this put me under a great deal of stress,then last year it finally got sorted out and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Last week I received another letter telling me I again owe them thousands of pounds . I now feel suicidal that it is starting all over again.

[psychoticfool], United Kingdom

Prove it.