spEak You’re bRanes

Should murder laws be changed so that the wife you’ve chained to the cooker can knifecrime you in the face while you’re delivering her nightly post-pub slap?

I agree that there is a difference between cold blooded murder, and someone killing a partner out of fear and desperation. However, if these changes are not implemented with caution, we will see a leap in cases where one has been killed by their partner, and the partner will make the case that they were being abused, whether or not it’s true.

What next? “My client was driven to kill her husband because he kept leaving the cap off the toothpaste!”

Jethro Tull, Kent, United Kingdom

A very good point. Obviously the people drafting the law haven’t considered your cunning loophole. I’ll write to them - in case the nurse won’t let you have the crayon today - with a letter saying, make sure you check people’s stories when they say they were being abused - don’t just let them off with it! I’ll suggest they get about 10 or 14 people to agree whether they think the right decision’s been made too.

Another sexist law to benefit women. So now someone who, of their own free will, stays with a partner who beats them up is allowed to kill them and not be charged with murder.

There is a great amount of help for women (but not men) who are victims of domestic violence so there is no excuse for staying with them.

I don’t condone domestic - or indeed any - violence toward women, but murder is murder.

[Mark_in_Wilts]

These wily women, Mark. Back when I was seven I wrote a swear on Marie-Claire Armstrong’s pencil case. Next thing I know I’m 26, she’s contacting me through friends reunited and we’re married after a whirlwind romance. Within six months she had me mounted in a strange marionette device which forced me to beat her up every night and formed my vocal chords into shapes which made me say the most horrible things about her. Finally I got weirded out and left her, but with the benefit of your perspective it occurs to me she was forcing me into it so she could fit me up and get away with killing me. Lucky escape, I see now.

Okay, so now that political correctness and the nanny state has proven that it is a complete failure when can common sense and liberty be reinstalled into this country?

I am sick of watching criminals get away with it while the victim is treated with no justice and no protection.
Bring back hard discipline for hard crimes, stop molly coddling to human rights that criminals exploit and the victims have none.

Just Another HYS Ranter, United Kingdom

I hear the nanny state’s next move after keeping murder illegal is to not decriminalise rape.

Murder is murder and should be punishable by life in a proper jail, not the 5 star hotels they are kept in now.
Anyone committing murder is scum and has no right to enjoyable life, the person they killed doesn’t get a second chance at life so neither should these people. No rehab, no time off for good behaviour, no privileges, just sit in a conrete cell until death because that’s what is deserved.

[speaking_my_mind]

True, true. The wife and I booked two weeks in Pentonville last summer (tax fraud, decent lawyer, cost us less than Majorca would have, all told) and you literally wouldn’t believe how lovely it all was. This lovely fellow named Stabber showed us how to make a shiv from a spoon, oh the games we played!

Thanks to Ben. I like this one. After fabricating this exciting story (or perhaps hearing it 5th hand via a chain of drunken, credulous simpletons), “skinnymuppet” obviously decided that it sounded fucking daft. He/she came up with a clever solution to this problem and has turned it from potted arse-beef into thoughtful debate, simply by adding “Consider this” on the front. Works a treat. You’d never guess it was going to be a load of insane nobgrease.

Consider this: Do 35 in 30 limit, punishment: £60 and 3 points. Now, the following is true: Fail to stop for Police, travel at 70 in a 30 whilst being chased, reverse into a Police car writing it off, drive through a park, seriously injure insecure passenger in rear of pursued van due to manner of driving, fight with Police when finally stopped. Punishment? £40 more than doing 35 in a 30. Still need to ask the question? Criminals laugh at the rest of us because there is no deterent
[skinnymuppet], United Kingdom

I saw a bloke doing ALL that and uploading the footage to YouTube WHILST RAPING A HORSE and he got GIVEN a £50 WHSmiths voucher and a hotdog and a large fries and a family-size drink and £50,000 and a fancy hat AND had a ride in a policecar AND he was allowed to wear the policeman’s hat ALL DAY. Meanwhile, the rest of us live in fear of the Zimbabwe Knives Mafia or maybe rocket-propelled paedos. Or muslim homo-speed-cameras. Or something. Anyway, I’m not sure what’s going on but I do know I’m fucking terrified. Or maybe just angry. Or confused. Mark my words.

Thanks to John. “Should the government fund Muslim scholars?”

One word NO i work in Japan my wife is Japanese when i am there i do as someone here as said, when in rome do as the Romans do, the Japanese like this way as well.I think Japan as got it right no to Muslim ways and you dont see many over there as well i dont go over as a Englishman when there i obay there laws they dont bend backwards for us why should we I AM PROUD ENGLISH GUY do as our law says stop giving in you spineless goverment with whats his name Brown yes thats it the worst ever
steve, wigan

I’m guessing that your wife is either astonishingly thick or else can’t speak English. Otherwise she’d be able to tell that she married someone astonishingly thick who can’t speak English.

Thanks to “Very Tenables”.

why is it always council employees go on strike - do they not think that ordinary people are struckling - i am an office worker but no matter what i am ordinary people ie joe public we are all suffering from high prices get on with it - you get paid enough to say if a bin is too heavy i am not empting it or if as described in the press lately if i cant pull a bin by my finger im not empting it what are you being paid for ????????? i
conroy, burnley

What exactly do you do in an office? Draught excluder?

Thanks to Harold. From “What are your experiences of road rage?”

I believe that in towns with socialist councils, the traffic lights are timed to cause maximum possible disruption to car drivers, especially at peak times. Traffic lights cause a lot of congestion in Blackburn, for example. Some of the light on main roads are on red for 4-5 minutes followed by 10-20 seconds on green….
[SaxonHero], Lancashire, England (not UK)

It’s not just socialist councils. Militant groups (including the dreaded PC Brigade) are meeting in secret locations and conspiring to alter the lights in even the most Conservative towns! As Karl Marx himself once said: “Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without adjusting the duty cycle of traffic lights”.

Thanks to Andy. Something about “Doctor Who”.

The doctor dies and returns as a black, gay, transexual, vertically challanged, doctor who has recently converted to Islam.

Well I’m sure that’s how the pc BBC would really like it.
Politically Incorrect

Soon there’ll be nothing BUT short, black, gay, transexual muslims on our television. You couldn’t make it up! Unless you were a heron’s fishy fanny.

I’ve made the “I’ll cry if I want to” joke and wondered if it’s April 1st. Now I need a real opinion. But I haven’t read the story (about a Swedish boy’s birthday party). I know! I’ll take absolutely everything I know about Sweden and mix it with absolutely everything I know about politics. That should just about get me up to five lines.

Last time I looked Sweden was a socialist, leftist nation. Need I say more??

keith l

I’d go with less.

It’s okay, he’s Swedish.

The anguish will live within him for another 20 years, at which point he’ll drive his Volvo into Stockholm harbour, while listening to a particularly morbid Abba song.

Possibly.

[TheMaskedMarvel]

What a bunch of whining mamby pambys. How Orwellian. This has to be a direct result of the severe alcoholism problems in Sweden. Does this mean that had I lived in Sweden I must buy a Saab AND a Volvo so neither is put off!?

Gemma Keates, Cambridge, United Kingdom

You forgot the porn and the lovely blonde ladies.

Does that mean that if a Swedish girl sleeps with one person in her school, she’s got to sleep with the whole bloody school? Teachers included?

Just Someone

And you forgot everything else. Thus is balance restored.

Another good reason for the human rights act to be abolished, as it’s plainly open to abuse.

bob, uk

We have a winner! Congratulations Bob. You forgot it was Sweden. First prize!

I don’t know if anyone here’s a fan of the ‘Biased-BBC‘ blog, but I like to think of them as a specialist version of the HYS poster, only a little more sophisticated, a little more eloquent, a little more enraged and right-wing, and of course a shitload more credulous and paranoid. Anyway, they’ve published their own letter to the editor, by ANDREW MCCANN.

FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE BBC COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT

Has the American presidential election already reached its conclusion? I have to ask since the evaporation of coverage on the BBC news since the confirmation of Barack Obama as Democrat nominee has been noted by many. The British Broadcasting Corporation was quite happy to flood news bulletins with ‘Presidential’ campaign happenings during the ‘beauty’ contest between Clinton and Obama. However, now that the BBC might just have to turn its attention to a more balanced coverage of the campaign by including Republican candidate, John McCain (remember him?), it suddenly has lost all interest.

Oh, what a beauty contest the Democrat race proved to be: both candidates filled every ‘tick-box’ on the social profiling sheet of the average Guardianista. One was a woman; the other was black. ‘Whoopee’ cried the anti-Israeli, anti-American, tree hugging news teams at the BBC. What did it matter that a potential leader of the free world should have more suitably meritocratic attributes such as intelligence, political nous, first-hand experience of America’s military engagements, an appreciation of realpolitik, and integrity? The sum total of the BBC’s analysis was preoccupied with the gender of one and the ethnicity of the other. As for the Grand Old Party, they might as well have shuffled off stage-left. The BBC, like the other Left-leaning, liberal ‘luvvies’ which dominate the European media scene, want a Democrat in the White House. Why don’t you just be honest and admit it?

I like the way “every tick box” comes to two. Whatever happened to one-legged Muslim lesbians? And look at the end: the more enraged he gets, the more he alliterates.

I am a BBC licence payer (for my sins). I want to see a Republican returned to power in the United States. I certainly do not want to see someone whose paternal ancestry shares the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago: a man who is prepared to ‘combat’ the rise of evil terrorist Islamism by sitting down and having cosy little chats with some of its principal protagonists. When are my preferences going to be incorporated in the so-called impartial coverage your organisation is (dubiously) renowned for?

You missed a trick Andrew: not only does Obama’s paternal ancestry share the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago, but his surname is only one letter away from ‘Osama’ and his middle name is only one ‘Saddam’ away from SADDAM HUSSEIN! If you don’t put the effort in, they won’t give a shit for your “preferences”.

If and, as I expect, when John McCain is voted the 44th President of the United States will we be offered the sort of ethno-centric spite-laden coverage I expect? The sort which will feebly attempt to portray the American electorate as bunch of subliminal Alabamaesque red-necks who couldn’t bring themselves to vote for poor old Barack because he was black? I am prepared to bet money on it. For in the final analysis it is those of the Left who lionise on the basis of sociological labels, and it is those of us on the Right who prefer to view people on their genuine merits.

Yours truly

ANDREW MCCANN

I’m with you there. I respect people according to their actions. As long as they’re not female, black, muslim, poor, disabled, Iranian, Chinese, Korean, Iraqi, Palestinian, Syrian, French (um.. someone check that for me, are the French ok again now that Sarkozy’s up for killing some Iranians?), Lebanese, atheist or, God forbid, left-leaning liberal ‘luvvies’.

Thanks to Mike for pointing me at this thread over at MEN. It’s a very brief article about Hugh thingamajig who was trying to get Tesco to be nice to chickens. This is a bit like asking a handbag full of icecream to give a lecture on the role of neurotrophic factors in the growth of motor neurons. Even if it was willing, it’s just not equipped to pull it off.

The comments thread seems to have turned into a competition to see who can say the stupidest thing.

And who is going to pay for the difference in price?
alvinlwh

Indeed. Ever since the Universal Declaration of Human Rights we have all been entitled to lumps of vaguely-chicken-like white stuff for under £1 and we’re not about to give that up.

The housewife has a choice either a chicken for Sunday lunch or mash and sausages. It don’t take rocket science to know which one.
S P In exile, Tameside

So how DO you decide without a rocket scientist on hand??

Well i’m NOT gonna change;with the rising cost of food cheap chicken(and not how it was fed/killed/ slaughtered/prepared etc because I DON’T CARE AS DON’T MANY PEOPLE ON BUDGETS)is the ONLY OPTION FOR ME AND I DON’T CARE EITHER.
Anthony, Accrington,Lancashire

I’m all in favour of people like Anthony. As the oil runs out and meat prices continue to soar, idiots like him are going to be fighting over nuggets of tasteless reformed chicken-scrapings, leaving the last few tasty cow arses for the rest of us to gnaw on.

It’s only a chicken for god’s sake who cares how it lived its life?
Not me for sure
We are higher up the evolutionary ladder so we can kill and eat meat, it just a fact of life
Tezza, Tyldesley

Be careful what you wish for.

What’s the point in commenting?

Probability is, you people won’t bother to process the comments.

You accept comments and then bin them on a whim without publishing them.

Such is HYS.

Go to hell.

Colin, London

The trouble, Colin, with writing a post bemoaning the fact that it will never be published is that when you’re right, no one will ever know but when you’re wrong… Well, you just end up looking like a cock.