spEak You’re bRanes

What’s the point in commenting?

Probability is, you people won’t bother to process the comments.

You accept comments and then bin them on a whim without publishing them.

Such is HYS.

Go to hell.

Colin, London

The trouble, Colin, with writing a post bemoaning the fact that it will never be published is that when you’re right, no one will ever know but when you’re wrong… Well, you just end up looking like a cock.

Thanks to Oliver. I think this one is about whether or not we should withdraw our troops from Afghanistan. You know, the peace-troops trying to bomb Afghanistan into being peaceful. Not the war-lords, we don’t support them. Well, sometimes we do. But anyway, we’re THE GOOD GUYS. The BBC says so.

“Once more, unfortunate women will be exposed to the bizarre theocratic & violently misogynistic Taliban rule: honor killings & stoning executions, acid in unveiled faces, & pre-adolescent girls married to & raped by “husbands”…”
rens wez

Dont cast stones. Look at the problems the UK faces - street crime, rape, robbery, fraud, knife attacks, i could go on and where are the troops trying to sort out this problem in OUR OWN backyard? Sort ENGLAND OUT FIRST

Ridiculous!
Think before you write Brigade, london, United Kingdom

This is one of those fights where I want both sides to lose. A bit like watching “Alien vs Predator”.

Actually, its more of an everlasting playground skuffle where neither side is smart enough to realise that they’ve already lost. A bit like watching “Jeremy Paxman vs Andrew Marr”.

Thanks to Jim. These are some of the most recommended comments in a thread about the military. Guaranteed to be full of angry pricks who want to drive BIG TANKS.. BRUM BRUM! BOOM!

“Under the plans the number of combat-ready troops would be reduced by 20,000.”

With around 6 million Muslims currently living in France and the number of Muslims in Europe rapidly rising, is this really the time to be cutting back on troop numbers?
Aussie Pride, Cronulla, Australia

You know what you are don’t you? You’re a slutty tiger’s worn-out fanny.

The basic problem with soldiers is that they are a waste of money until you need them, but when you need them…. you really NEED them.
D Dortman

I tried persuading my bank manager to head over to the Middle East and slaughter a few hundred thousand Arabs then bring back their oil. She was having none of it. Sometimes only the army will do.

Another selection from the complaints log. Thanks.

RADIO 4 - GENERAL
“I wish Radio 4 would stop trailing television programmes. I do not have a television and often miss the radio programme I want to listen to because I turn off when these trails come on.”

Tricky one. I’m sure that scientists are working on this and that, soon, with technology constantly advancing, you’ll be dead and won’t have to worry about it any more.

RADIO 5LIVE - VICTORIA DERBYSHIRE
“I thought the discussion about the idea of having a black Prime Minister was conducted in a very biased way. I don’t think enough white people had the opportunity to give their opinion.”

We should organise some sort of “poll” whereby the white majority gets to choose mainly white people to be in government. Then we need to repeat it every few years just to make sure some black people don’t sneak in while we’re not looking.

BBC RADIO WM
“I feel that the station as a whole is excellent. I am going to send them an e-mail saying so.”

Yeah? THEN WHAT?

BARGAIN HUNT
“Tim Wonnacott says no-one has afternoon tea anymore. I have been having afternoon tea for the last 20 years.”

I bet Tim Wonnacott feels like a proper charlie now!

BREAKFAST TV NEWS
“Louise Minchin has the most awful glasses. She looks like an owl and it is very off-putting.”

Are you a field mouse?

READY STEADY COOK
“It was outrageous that the bearded chef was not wearing something to cover up his beard.”

You could try putting your hand over that bit of the screen?

WEATHER - GENERAL
Annoyed that metric measurements are used rather than Imperial. “Why is the temperature given in Celsius. This is the European Union ethnically cleansing our language.”

First they came for the thermometers, and I didn’t speak up. Then they came for the scales but mine do metric and they said that was cool.

Thanks to Trish. Will 42 days detention help in terror investigations?

The destructive animals who perpetrate this heanous crime, should be allowed no privilages, no sympathy from mis-guided statesmen, and no mercy.

Any foreign creature involved in the plotted deaths of Westerners ought to be put out of their own misery, humanely, and not fawned over by stupid and naive politicians.
English Braveheart, ENGLAND

Yeah. Best keep it humane.

Gone a bit sporadic I’m afraid. I have a long queue of stuff to post but no time to post it. Should have a bit more time next week.

In the mean time, thanks to Joanne for this from the debate on closing/improving schools.

Clos e the school and do what with the kids? Dump them on our streets to get into more gangs and commuitt more crimes?? They cant read or wright anyway and the schools arent alowed to beat them when their badso whats the piont of even having schools like this anyway

Closing these worthless schools wont help, we need to bring back old fashioned standards and have total discpline against bad kids and no more do gooders lecturing us about yobs “rights”. Are you listening Mr. Brown? Off course not
Mark Patriot, S Island, Scotland

Total discipline! Full spectrum dominance! Beat the children! Did you come in your pants again?

Never mind. If you move to another country, you might last a few years before they discover you and put you on their “register”.

Thanks to Nik for pointing me at the comment list for Ian Jempson. “Revoluotionsville” has been making me laugh for several minutes. In fact, Ian has helped expand the Twat-O-Tron quite significantly. We have added his bollock-brained distinctiveness to our own.

Go read the rest of his comments if you want to feel shit about the world but good about yourself. In fact, just go read any part of the “Have Your Say” site for five minutes. How the fuck is anyone supposed to maintain a sense of humility in the face of this onslaught of self-centred stupidity? Help.

Bring back the death penalty for any knife murderer under 16 or otherwise , if under 21 and caught with a knife without good reason for having it you should automatically recieve a £5000 fine and 2 years in prison. Metal detectors and at least two police officers posted at every community college , Educate the certain groups who always seem to be involved in knife and violent crime that Gang culture will not be tollerated and the perpetrators will be executed if caught.
ian jempson, Revoloutionsville

I’m always impressed when someone’s racism enables them to load a phrase like “certain groups” with so much hatred that they may as well have thrown an exploding turd at a black man.

Im driving less , eating less , saving less , paying more tax than ever , stressed more than ever and thinking about leaving this world.
ian jempson, Revoloutionsville

Less talk, more action.

Thanks to Matthew who submitted the last of these. It was subsequently removed by the HYS moderators but I followed the trail and found a turd mountain.

Heathon’s favourite word is “pathetic” but, in a deeply ironic twist, he only ever uses it to describe other people.

Unfortunatly this is a step into the future. The Chinese or “sleeping giant” as they also like to be known as is going to to unleash their power apon the world soon and its not going to be nice.

What other country has so much power and control over the Uk and Usa?.. Gordon Brown was like a little puppet today! Pathetic!
Hardliner Heathon, Uk, United Kingdom

Hey! *I* like to be known as “sleeping giant”. Those bastards stole my nickname.

How pathetic can you get? Hide the babies sweets and he might not know they are there.

This is what is forcing me to flee the Uk this very year!. Not because of smoking because i dont smoke but because of the mindless mindset of the fools that dream up Uk law

Bye Bye, i will look in on you and laugh
Hardliner Heathon, Uk, United Kingdom

IMAGINE THE GLORY OF THAT MOMENT. Be careful not to get jiz in your eye.

Pathetic Uk Shines again!! Its disgusting!!

Roll on the Olympics!!!!!…

Thankfuly i wont be living in the Uk then so i can sit back and have a jolly good laugh at all the castrophies that will be bound to take place at that time (started building yet?), and i will be very be pleased that i am far away from it all.
Hardliner Heathon, Uk, United Kingdom

And so will we.

Hey mod person. As you select the rejected button you can suck my left bollock for deleting my perfectly acceptable comments yestesterday. Put that in your pipe and smoke it you useless pathetic wanka
Hardliner Heathon, Uk, United Kingdom

They can’t supress the truth forever Heathon. Not as long as there are brave, honest souls like you who can nearly spell and don’t have the wit, let alone the intention, to deceive. God bless you.

Thanks to James for this one from Sky News about the Austrian father who kept his daughter captive. I can’t really improve on James’s comment: “Obviously SR has seen the pictures of his house and considers some DIY in order”

To PAUL FROM HERTFORDSHIRE, i would be first in line with a house brick in one hand & a pair of pliers in the other.
SR, Stoke-on-Trent

Thanks to Anya.

Why are western people so obsessed with the whole human right thing in China?

You live there or what?

Chinese people feel happy and satisfy in China and do not wish the country turn into a place that:
you have to be aware of everything when you walk alone at night; teenage crimes on the newspaper (like everyday?); students can carry guns to school; bias, evil-minde medias everywhere.

If you like it here, keep it to yourselves.
Laura H, london

You have to hand it to these oppressive regimes, they certainly keep the trains running on time.