spEak You’re bRanes

Thanks to RadiatorLizard. Do African women still need men? Quite clearly:

The word “Woman” means taken from Man. Technically, a Woman does not exist, or only as a piece or extension of Man. The concept of “Independent Woman” is absurd; moreover, she was created for man and as a last resort, because Man would not settle for the array of animals that was made instead. She is not a creation in its own right, like any other including Man, not an independent clay statue. She can only achieve superiority to Man in the afterlife by serving him first in this one.

alain, London

Of course, they didn’t speak English in the Garden of Eden, but as any Bibliolologist will tell you, the Hebrew word for ‘woman’ is derived from the א-י-ש root, meaning “otherwise useless bint God made to cook my tea and house my tiny peen once I get bored of humping oxen”. So you can tell that to your imaginary wife next time she wants the key to the imaginary padlock.

Thanks to Kate for pointing me at this Times Online article about Susan Boyle.

ITV and the media have used Susan Boyle, Now she is distressed. Perhaps the time has come for the Queen to use what power she has to command that Susan sings. such a move would be popular, not least among disabled people,their families and carers.
Angus Winfield, Brdgwater, Somerset, UK

SB had a young girl’s dream.Somehow,She found the courage to face a mirror &despite what she saw she stood in front of 1000s who laughed at her. Who could even speak after that? Yet SING she did! And the evil of the world had to tear her down.May the Queen honor her dream! USA is
is waitin for her!
SF, PP, USA

I have literally no idea what this man is trying to say. Even by Have Your Say’s pisspoor standards, this is special. What makes it worse is that he obviously thinks he’s ramming home some kind of inescapable conclusion. Like he had a good long think, maybe drew a quick truth table, and worked it all out.

“Why is it that arab & islamic “public opinion” is never inflamed by the absolute horror hell 30-a-cell situation in most arab prisons?
marcus marcuse“

Could one of the 113 people recommending that tell me how inflaming Arab sentiment by US atrocities is equated to inflaming Arab sentiment by Arab atrocities?

You should be asking about US inflamed by Arab atrocities.

And why do you think the people in the army did this? Inflamed by Arab atrocities.
Mark, Exeter

Right you are. Maybe get some ointment for that.

Thanks to Phil and Rich for these.

Your Royal Highness Queen Elizibeth. As a loyal servent, I see your Parlimentarians have disgraced themselves and i would recomend they are all removed forthwith and new directions made to their succesors, clensing the filth that has gone unchecked for many years. I regret to inform you all,that its now time the monarchy impose their will on its subjects, in the best interests of the country/subjects towards the men who impose on you and made accountable for their self protected thieving actions
Spitfire Pilot, Low Over, United Kingdom

TO HRM Queen Elizabeth II

Please I beg you as a loyal subject of this once great nation please intervene on the behalf of your loyal citizens and end this era of greed and corruption. We need to be able to draw a line under this whole episode and move forward with confidence. The only way to achieve this is for you to dissolve parliament and order a full audit of the countries finances.
Its time for you to prove your un-doubted worth to the nation, be bold be strong be true to your people help us in our hour of need. If you act we will support you.

Love and Loyalty

WEP
WhiteEnglishProud

Thanks to Tony. Love the last line of this one.

I believe the whole world system has to be regulated. If children don’t listen to the teacher the Principal has to step in. So be it some will be suspended and the others removed from the school. Most will be safe without them.

Hope some one is listening.
vibhu kapoor, bombay

Poor, innocent Vibhu is obviously new to HYS and isn’t (yet) convinced that Barack Obama, Jesus “Respawn” Christ and Gordon Brown are reading every word.

You’ve heard of NATO and you probably remember that “so ronely” chap from Team America so I reckon you’re about ready to launch your diplomatic career.

Now then, here’s an easy one to start off with. “What response to North Korea?”

The world reaction to North Korea’s provocation will be to do what it always does when tyrants provoke: speak loudly and carry a small stick.
Gary, Japan

You hear that Mr Obama? You can keep shouting all you like but nobody’s going to listen while you insist on carrying a ridiculously tiny stick. You look like Harry fucking Potter, waving that thing around.

GET A BIGGER STICK.

Japan, the US, South Korea and other concerned nations in the area should, of course, carefully watch any such launch and be prepared to deal with any erratic behavior–but they should be quiet about it. North Korea likes to seek attention, like a spoiled brat. It’s best to just ignore their proclamations and attention-seeking behavior. In other words, carry a big stick, but speak softly and close your ears. Constantly responding in angry tones to each NK action is counter-productive.
Derek Kelly, Aberdeen, United States

Now we’re getting somewhere. Soft-spoken but with a massive stick. I’m thinking maybe Yoda? He’s got a linguistic advantage too, as he speaks a bit foreign.

We have been too softly softly. now it’s time to use a big stick as these fools are just pushing the line too far …

The only way to win is to make them crumble from inside ….
[POLARIS69], Kent, United Kingdom

You’d need exactly the right kind of stick to make them crumble from the inside. So, while your idea is very good, to be honest you’re just restating the central question: “Which stick?”.

From military point of view “nuclear N Korea” is a fiddlestick – [... goes on for some time ...]
Anton Cheglov, Auckland, New Zealand

That’s the WRONG KIND OF STICK. Idiot.

hmmm.. carrots or sticks. North Koren’s want more carrots, yet use the biggest sticks in their arsenal in an atempt to get their
way.

Obama needs to tell KJ where to he can stick those carrots.
Tim Proctor

What do you mean “carrots or sticks”?? It’s fucking sticks alright???

You dick.

Jesus.

This reminds me of when adult smokers tell kids not to smoke. N. Korea’s being an immature punk, saying (with their action) “we’ll do what we wanna do”. The reality is, they shouldn’t have to explain, sure they can get away with it. But what do they actually have to say about it? Communications? We should send them a bag of balloons with a card that says “here, blow these up.” If they laugh at the joke, the courier gets to slap them in the face. This hand could be ugly, I say test them back.
Charles, Jersey City, NJ

Perhaps you’re right. We were getting a bit too obsessed with the sticks. We should send Inspector Clouseau to deliver a bomb disguised as a cake.

Thanks to Tom.

From reading “Have Your Say” is it evident to me that most people in the world hate the US and all we stand for. Therefore, I say we withdraw our military forces from all overseas bases and deployed areas. Futhermore, we withdraw from the UN, especially all financial aid. But, our limp president is all talk. He is more concerned about wasting honest workers tax dollars than doing what is best for the people, land, and nation.
Old Soldier, TC USA

You can’t just withdraw ALL military forces overnight and expect the rest of the world to cope, you selfish shithead. Perhaps you could burn a few of their kids and leave behind some mines and unexploded cluster bombs to help them slowly aclimatise?

On PMQs. See what I did with the title? I spent literally ages thinking that one up.

Dear Prime Idiot,
Please can you tell me how fast it can be to leave this country to head for a land where there is a democratically leader, that tells the truth, has no idea what spin is, and can actually use a calculator to make sure that there is money in the bank for a rainy day?
Is this too much???????
Bet it gets moderated too!!!!!
AJ Wilson Briggs, Amsterdam (ExUK), Netherlands

I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you’ve lost your bet and subsequently look like a paranoid, self-important twat. The good news is that, even though you struggle to remember what country you’re in, you look positively well-adjusted next to “Deleted Deleted, Comment Rejected (moderator 43)” and his fifty-odd pages of published comments.

As a child, I found it odd when cartoon villains referred to themselves as evil. I assumed everyone believed, on some level, that their actions were ultimately good, and I later came to see blind arrogance, selfishness and well-meaning stupidity as the causes of suffering. But then I found this smug santorum-stain, and his perverse games of onedownmanship. For example this tussle with regular twat angry man and his nightmarish vision of Cameron’s Britain:

‘Children back down the mines, workhouses, the death penalty, slavery, no tax for the rich, same old same old
angry man ‘

Yup !!!! Just the way it should be.

Our streets WILL be safe.

Educate yourself, work hard, and you WILL be rewarded.

A far cry from leechy Gordon.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

And confronted with injustice, he promptly orders ten boxes:

No other civilised country has a limit anything like as long as this; it’s simply a sign of the increasing slide into an undemocratic police state over which Labour has presided.
Jan Thomas, Arnold, notts, United Kingdom

Hmmm, So are you saying AMERICA is not ‘civilised’ ?

I think 7 years prison without explanation (extraordinary rendition) beats the crummy, paltry 42 days the Brits want.

Lock em up. Give us our Human Right to be protected.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

Despite his championing of the police state, he is nonetheless a tireless campaigner for individual rights.

This new lot havn’t (and never will) ever known freedom from meddling Civil Servants…..feel sorry for peeps today with all this environmental rubbish, the EU, Hitler style rules, men who are wimps etc etc.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

Just so you know “Hitler-style” refers to smoking bans, no parking on children and PC stuff about racial and religious hatred, and definitely does not include anything like this:

As has always been the case on this planet, ONLY the strong survive.

It is only God who will decide.

The weak should perish.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

And don’t think [mugged_as_mp_laughs] wastes hours on HYS instead of generating wealth or contributing to society. His is a far higher calling.

‘Judging by the number of names that appear frequently in HYS debates, I assume a lot of unemployed people use this site to fill in their time

On my lunch break ‘

Oh dear. Still working are we ?

Ever thought a LOT of people worked hard , saved hard, and have made enough money to not NEED to work after the old age of 40 ?

Don’t assume just because you HAVE to work that others do as well..

Get a proper job !

Then you can enjoy life after retiring early.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

How many “proper” jobs will earn you enough to retire by forty? Tennis pro? Porn star? Or is he just sitting on a big sack of embezzled pension funds?

What do you want to hear in the Queen’s speech?

I would like the Queen to mention British troops serving overseas, and the service personnel have lost their lives in the last twelve months.
Eleanor, UK

It’s a long shot but you never know.