spEak You’re bRanes

“Is scouting still relevant today?
A word of warning to the PC loony lefty pro human rights pro Health and Safety to death extremeists. Without this great institution, our society would be a whole lot worse! Stay away from tampering with the Scouting movement and let youngsters enjoy what I did so much thirty years ago. You can’t replace, camping, firemaking, expeditions, knot and rope craft, canoeing, and service to the public etc with video games and a play station. 1977

Charlie the Cat Hatestheleft, ASBOville (formally known as Calne..) Speedcamerashire, United Kingdom

Chin up Charlie! You may have nothing left to live for but at least you’ll be dead soon.

Thanks to Céline for finding this.

I am sure it will, toddlers in their early age need their parents, particularly mumy who would help them develop their character. I like the Victorian era where mummy was at home looking after the whole family. Hope this would come back again..

**Islam**, Southampton

Every family needs a gigantic, fertile mummy-cowqueen. The comparison isn’t really fair though. Back in those days you only had to look after them for a couple of years. After that they were either dead or up a chimney.

There is no doubt that less tailored styles and softer colours make the wearer ‘less authoritative’, but it also makes them look sloppy and inefficient. I am not impressed with what the staff of London Underground and the Post Office are wearing. In fact, when our ‘postie’ cycles up he would not look out of place cycling idly along a country road as if on holiday. Call me old fashioned, but a smart uniform requires good personal appearance and thus self discipline. London Underground staff with masses of hair sticking out at all angles from their caps make them look scruffy and unreliable - not the image an efficient transport system wishes to convey. The same goes for the scouts - gone are the days of ’spit and polish’ and the pride when inspected on parade. The scouts today wear a bit of this and a bit of that, the result being a group of children that look more like refugees than an organised scout group. We go on about the chaos in society today and demand law and order. It is not the building of more prisons that will resolve this, but a return to the basics of self respect - and we could start with smartening ourselves up a bit!
Noddy, Soton

Wise words Noddy. Did Elgar compose “Nimrod” whilst wearing shit-streaked pants and a dressing gown with egg on it?? Did he bollocks. He was wearing epaulettes and a pair of proper shiny shoes.

Thanks to Céline for this one.

100% with them on this.
Morally, I think that couples should get married.
Whatever people say, its still not nice to be a child with unmarried parents, and like all similar propositions, this couls become a slippery slope.
Its still seen as ‘low’ to be living with someone long-term and I think that as a CONSERVATIVE party, it’s about time we heard some CONSERVATIVE veiws.

**Michael Taylor**, Leeds

Well Michael, it’s all very well preaching from your high-horse but what about offering some practical help or advice? Do you think I want to be living (long-term) with the woman I love??? Perhaps we should seek out this “CONSERVATIVE party” of which you speak and see if they can help us turn our lives around. Incidentally, my girlfriend has a fantastic arse and sometimes we forget to say grace before having sex WITH THE LIGHTS ON. HELP US.

How the hell do we expect to have an army when we have raised a breed of namby pamby cry-babies who cannot walk to school in the rain.

We must also face fact that we now have a population which consists of a very high ratio of people not loyal to Queen and country.

But don’t blame me! Blame the Blair administration, Always plenty of funding for buildings in Whitehall. BUT>>>>>>

Soldiers now have to buy their own gear in a war zone!!! I know because my Grandson is in Afghanistan fighting for democracy. Well done new labour

Brian G Frisby, Basildon Essex

It’s a disgrace. How the hell is the poor lad supposed to do his job if he has to buy his own democracy-grenades??

Opportunity knocks
Tales of the riverbank
The Black and White Minstrels
TW3
The Frost Report
Morecombe and Wise

- who needs cutting edge - these were quality programmes (even if not all on BBC).

Quality does not need massive technology, nor a massive budget, just a great imagination, a good writer, and a director with his eyes and mind open.

atomjohn Lee, Derby, United Kingdom

I remember when TV shows were delivered every week on wax cylinders, and the whole street would gather round to watch the flickering screen of the televideograph as a bunch of blacked-up comedians lampooned those hilarious African fellows. Now THAT was entertainment.

It was a clarion call of a forgotten age: of Drake and Nelson, when our fleet sailed forth with our Army and Air Force and vanquished an invidious foe, liberating our fellow countrymen from tyranny. Long may our victory be remembered and celebrated, for on that occasion, right was done.

[TJLObserver], England

With Gandalf standing proud on the bow of the HMS Glasgow, leading the fleet to victory. It was a day that will be remembered in song throughout the Shire.

Humiliation is the best way to deal with antisiocial kids. Put them in the stocks over night and declare a “fair game” policy pelting them with eggs and tomatoes.

Put posters up of their egg covered faces with slogans saying “this moron thinks he’s cool - look at him now”

[...]
S King, West Mids

Look at him! Look at his eggy face! Hahahahahaha! Who’s the big man now eh? Not you Mr. Eggface! No siree! Look at me dancing! Eggface! Look at me dancing! Ahahahahaha!

Another one from Tomsk.

Three Cheers for Pathetic Britain! Hip Hip Horray!

Again the government wasting tax payers money what has happened to this country i remember when it was once Great Britain! Now look at it! Seem to be turning more and more into Great Britistan by the day! Oh im sorry can i say that as we no longer have freedom of speech in this country! Well the white man does not i should say!

Guyza, Newcastle

Well! Guyza! What can I say! Nice punctuation! Textbook tax bore! Racism agogo! You really have covered all the bases! A HYS full-house!

If I were to offer some criticism, it would be that you missed a perfect opportunity when you wrote “Hip Hip Horray!” instead of “Hip Hop Hooray!”. The trick is to freely associate. Just let the stereotypes and ignorant bumgibber come bubbling out of your horrid stinky face without pausing to think about it. It might seem like a minor niggle but it’s a slippery slope. You start by missing an opportunity to blurt your racist ignorance and suddenly, 6 months later, you’ll find yourself using sane punctuation and actually thinking before you open your mouth. Stay vigilant.

The Cutty Sark is as much a piece of our maritime heritage as Victory, Belfast or Warrior. It needs to be saved so the people who served on her are not forgotten. Her history is vital to this small island of ours.

Ian Nicholls, Manchester

To think of Lord Nelson’s tea-soldiers, our bravest and best, aboard the Cutty Sark all those years ago, courageously fighting their way through Al-Qaeda’s tea-blockade. Imagine the scenes as they arrived home in good old blighty, stepping onto the dock at Buckingham Palace amidst cheers and fireworks. The Duke of Wellington presents a box of ceremonial teabags to Winston Churchill who has been waiting there for 2 straight weeks, never giving up hope… just waiting there with a PROPER BRITISH kettle. I’m welling up just thinking about it.