29 May 2008 01:26 pm

Thanks to Chris and Ed who both sent me HYS generators a week or two ago. Then they merged them together to create this unholy turdspurt.

Click the button for more depressingly realistic HYS crap.

224 Responses to “The Twat-O-Tron”

  1. on 29 May 2008 at 3:45 pm fucko the clown

    twat tastic

  2. on 29 May 2008 at 3:48 pm Roffle

    caught between laughing and crying.

  3. on 29 May 2008 at 3:48 pm Hitler

    This is beautiful.

  4. on 29 May 2008 at 3:55 pm Felna

    lmfao!

    that is just too scary for words! – I’m going to start dropping this into random comment boxes to see what happens!

  5. on 29 May 2008 at 4:30 pm biscuit billdan

    scared. so very scared.

  6. on 29 May 2008 at 4:43 pm Burnel

    Pure genius………They have created a ‘monster’.

  7. on 29 May 2008 at 4:56 pm Katie

    Talk about depressingly realistic. I’m pretty sure I’ve already read some of these as genuine HYS comments.

  8. on 29 May 2008 at 5:03 pm Vicky

    “Persecuted_in_his_own_country UK ex-pat, United States ”

    Brilliant!

  9. on 29 May 2008 at 5:04 pm Big Jamesie

    Excellent, only thing is… real HYSers go on, and on and on….. if only they would restrict it to 2 or 3 lines.

  10. on 29 May 2008 at 6:12 pm fraggle

    Incredible.

  11. on 29 May 2008 at 6:12 pm Han

    “Hear me out! global warming, climate change, no such thing, its just another TAX the EU is turning our kids gay. Read my lips: put them in loony bin. What next? Letting paedos out of jail? Oops. They do it already!!!”

    Genius.

  12. on 29 May 2008 at 6:41 pm Jim

    Gold

  13. on 29 May 2008 at 6:50 pm molesto the ape

    This scares me. You could use this abomination to spam any HYS and not be able to tell the difference.

  14. on 29 May 2008 at 7:23 pm Alex

    This is up there with the door, the bikini and the flapjack in my top five inventions of all time.

  15. on 29 May 2008 at 7:29 pm fatboyfat

    “TWO WORDS: SAMSH THE SYSTEM”

    Pure unadulterated genius.

  16. on 29 May 2008 at 7:31 pm Alex

    Can we put them on real HYS? Please?

  17. on 29 May 2008 at 8:26 pm kukomanga

    threew ords: Pure genius.

  18. on 29 May 2008 at 8:57 pm Multinodular Goitre

    Oh christ – this is indistinguishable from the real thing about 90% of the time. We may as well put the shutters up and go home.

    FACT!!!11!

  19. on 29 May 2008 at 9:03 pm Phoebe Disco

    It’s even better when it doesn’t work:

    twas ever thus. the bbc pretends its not true but modern britain is taking our country away from us. every british working man must nuke them.

  20. on 29 May 2008 at 9:34 pm Mojojo Jojo

    You couldn’t make it up!

  21. on 29 May 2008 at 9:56 pm floook

    They are using my wheelie bin because they are traitors

    DAMN THE DARKIES!

  22. on 29 May 2008 at 10:49 pm cokecan

    I’m nearly moved to tears. Someone has found a way to emulate cretins. This could be the fulcrum on which our evolutionary future is decided.

  23. on 30 May 2008 at 12:15 am Catherine

    “IMO hybrid embryos are using my wheelie bin All true brits should make sure everyone knows.

    Zionist Elite Run UKKK United Kingdom”

    Was there really someone who complained about someone else purloining their wheelie bin? This is hilarious.

  24. on 30 May 2008 at 1:33 am jim

    Is it just me or is nothing happening when I press the “new” button?

  25. on 30 May 2008 at 3:20 am GB

    Should make this into one of those generators you can put in sigs.

  26. on 30 May 2008 at 5:13 am The Gnome Secretary pretending to be one of those gaming cretins from the Intartubes

    OMG EP1C FAILZ!11!

    IT DOEZ NOT WERK IN OPERA OR T3H FIREFOX THR33.

  27. on 30 May 2008 at 5:21 am Ben

    Sadly doesn’t appear to work in… well, in *any* of the browsers I’ve tried so far.

  28. on 30 May 2008 at 5:33 am The Gnome Secretary

    You’re also missing ‘Islamofascists are’ from the hated_object array.

  29. on 30 May 2008 at 5:40 am The Gnome Secretary

    On line 38 there’s a missing comma at the end of the line (am actually just trying to help now, instead of being a whining cunt).

    Will post anymore errors if I can find them. :)

  30. on 30 May 2008 at 5:45 am The Gnome Secretary

    Excellent, that was the only bug:

    THIS POST WILL PROBABLY BE DELETED. . I COULDN’T CARE LESS BUT THE EU IS TURNING OUR KIDS GAY. ALL TRUE RBIST SHOULD GET OUT OF THE EU AND GET OUR COUNTRY BACK!!.

    Lord Nelson In the Know

    Genius. I never you knew you were a Euro-sceptic Nelson. :)

  31. on 30 May 2008 at 7:59 am Felna

    [quote] Is it just me or is nothing happening when I press the “new” button?[/quote]

    It’s stopped working here (worked fine yesterday). I think the server has realised the garbage it has been forced to spout and rebelled!

  32. on 30 May 2008 at 8:37 am Mr Cat

    Have I arrived too late? It’s broke already

  33. on 30 May 2008 at 9:01 am Nelson

    I broke it then went to sleep. Fixing.

  34. on 30 May 2008 at 9:04 am Nelson

    Works now.

  35. on 30 May 2008 at 9:23 am Green Spanner

    “I have been realising over the past few years that the EU is raping our kids! Every British working man must lock our kids away to save them. Need I say more!!!!!

    Voice of Reason Nottingham”

  36. on 30 May 2008 at 9:35 am Moletta

    Amazing! And terrifyingly accurate.

  37. on 30 May 2008 at 9:36 am OMG GENIUS

    This is amazing… All utterly, consistently, believable. Congratualtions on a fine piece of programming!

  38. on 30 May 2008 at 10:13 am Mr Cat

    To increase the variety of the diatribe could there be a submission area where SYB members can paste in titbits of cliches from HYS?

  39. on 30 May 2008 at 10:51 am huck

    behold

    e-flagellation

    oh yes

  40. on 30 May 2008 at 10:55 am huck

    “In my opinion the Chinese are putting flouride in our drinking water because they want to destroy us from within!. The only solution is to bring back Hitler.”

    oh yeah baby that’s right hurt me hurt me PAIIIN urrnh

  41. on 30 May 2008 at 11:04 am Vicky

    Wow, the Twat-o-tron’s only been alive a few days and it’s already gone into politics:

    http://my.telegraph.co.uk/cllr_richard_barnbrook/may_2008/blame_the_immigrants.htm

    Such beautiful contradictions too:
    “We are going to take all the weapons of the streets even if that means sending in the Army to do it.”
    “A free society is one where the police can do their job the way they want to do it.”

  42. on 30 May 2008 at 11:19 am Wide

    This is the genius, anyone managed to get them published yet?

  43. on 30 May 2008 at 11:39 am JonR

    i love it, this would easily beat most HYS contributers in a Turing Test smackdown.

  44. on 30 May 2008 at 11:46 am huck

    vicky, is that article serious? :-|

  45. on 30 May 2008 at 12:35 pm So many names

    Simply superb. I’ve already tried it on Paul Staine’s site. It’s hard to tell them from the originals.

  46. on 30 May 2008 at 12:40 pm zym

    brilliant :)

  47. on 30 May 2008 at 12:42 pm tiny clanger

    This reminds me of the Unitelligencer http://unintelligencer.com/ but more amusing. And you added islamofacists!

  48. on 30 May 2008 at 12:52 pm Don_Durito

    “Margaret Thatcher must be spinning in her grave.” Laaaaaaaawl.

  49. on 30 May 2008 at 1:04 pm Nelson

    I’ll have to remove it once the old harpy carks it.

  50. on 30 May 2008 at 1:10 pm Lyra

    “Every British working man must bring back the acne”

    Indeed.

  51. on 30 May 2008 at 1:25 pm Lyra

    “I am very angry about this. studies show that the establishment is taknig over the government.”
    “I have been realising over the past few years that Prince Phillip is run by communists. ”

    In the words of the Twat-O-Tron, Next Stop HYS!!!!!

  52. on 30 May 2008 at 1:58 pm Katie

    I just got, “Three words: Use Napalm.”

    This is the greatest thing ever.

  53. on 30 May 2008 at 2:10 pm Alex

    Fuck, look at this:

    It’s sad but true!.. teh media won’t admit that liberals are allowing us to be swamped… The only solution is to vote BNP…

    Liberal_lefty_bias Not France

    Basically a coherent argument. Liberals are letting immigrants in, vote BNP. It’s scary that a few lines of code can produce a more logical and equally racist thought-process than a real human.

  54. on 30 May 2008 at 2:30 pm lizard

    This is just typical,,, teh media won’t admit that council estate scum are getting freebies because they want to destroy us from within!,,, Simple answer: promote marriage,,, What next? Giving benefits out willy-nilly? Oops. They do it already.

    [Storm_Saxon] The Real World

    This is absolutely perfect, it would fit in to HYS easily.

  55. on 30 May 2008 at 2:43 pm Ben

    I don’t think there’s any point in continuing with anything ever again. This is the highest point in human endeavour. It’s all downhill from here.

  56. on 30 May 2008 at 3:32 pm Fluffy

    I just pasted 3 random ones from the generator into a discussion forum on The Sun’s website.

    “Hear me out! global warming, climate change, no such thing, its just another TAX. the EU is turning our kids gay. Read my lips: put them in loony bin. What next? Letting paedos out of jail? Oops. They do it already!!!

    gordon brown still it at i see. studies show that criminal gangs are sponging off the taxpayer. wake up people! two strikes and youre out. this is just the first of many facts that the woolly-left have been ignoring for many years now!!!!!

    It’s sad but true! studies show that Gordon Brown is raping our kids because they are socialists. The only solution is to close the borders now. What do you think?!!”

    I really hope they can make it into some sense.

  57. on 30 May 2008 at 3:53 pm Lyra

    “Its ovbious that we are being brainwashed into getting freebies because Gordon is too busy lining his pockets! All true brits should burn them alive. No doubt this is legal under the eu human rihgts act!!!

    [Saint George] Uk, United Kingdom”

    My favourite – it almost reaches the heights of contradictory logic that some HYS posts are at.

  58. on 30 May 2008 at 7:22 pm Alex

    Christ, that’s a real creation. I’m like the dog with the electrode in his brain, pressing the pedal over and over again..

  59. on 30 May 2008 at 9:19 pm Jamie

    This is amazing and I love it, but might I suggest something to generate a “Simple as.” or “End of.” every now and then at the end of the post?

  60. on 30 May 2008 at 9:24 pm Jamie

    Ignore me, I’ve noticed that there sort of is one.

  61. on 31 May 2008 at 9:43 am manigen

    “whites being descriminated against again. poen your eyes people the bastions of political correctness are helping their scottish comrades because nobody ahs the guts to stand up to them. simple answer: round them all up and lock them away. next stop war!!!

    Winston Churchill Welwyn Garden City”

    It’s too perfect. I’m terrified that this generator may be smarter than me.

  62. on 31 May 2008 at 12:06 pm Rose

    Truly a piece of genius.

    FACT! Next question???

  63. on 31 May 2008 at 1:14 pm Alex

    Lizard’s found another one that’s more coherent than real HYS.

  64. on 31 May 2008 at 8:54 pm A.N

    “Its not politically correct to say so but teenage gangs are selling Britain to the French!.. Come on nuke them… I am now repudiating liberalism as I see it as deeply harmful to society!??

    going_to_the_dogs timbuktu

    Recommended by 3 people ”

    nice. very nice.

  65. on 31 May 2008 at 11:16 pm Ben

    The bbc pretends its not true but Obama is toonamby pamby. It is vitla that we bring back the cane. This is why I’m emigarting soon!!!

    [Handsome Bloke] Blighty

    This is my new favourite toy.

  66. on 01 Jun 2008 at 12:11 am The Cinnamon Bandit

    IT’S SAD BUT TRUE! WHEN WILL PEOPLE REALISE THAT LIBERAL HAND-WRINGERS ARE INTRODUCING MORE STEALTH TAXES BECAUSE THIS COUNTRY IS NO LONGER OURS. END THIS MADNESS NOW, BRING BACK THE CANE, THATLL TEACH EM, NEVER DID ME ANY HARM. PS IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THIS THEN LEAVE THE COUNTRY!?!

    ShutupFrance Shropshire

    Oh dear lord, I slightly soiled myself. Oxfam won’t be pleased.

  67. on 01 Jun 2008 at 12:30 am A.N

    I posted something from this on HYS as a test and it got 28 recommendations within a minute of being up. Some foul play at work for sure.

  68. on 01 Jun 2008 at 12:32 am A.N

    ITS SAD BUT TRUE THE BBC PRETENDS IT’S NOT TRUE BUT PC LIBERALISTS ARE TAKING OUR COUNTRY AWAY FROM US END THIS MADNESS NOW BAN THEM ALL. WHAT NEXT ALLOWING IN FOREIGNERS? OOPS. THEY DO IT ALREADY!!!

    Tired of PC Loonies, ENGLAND FOR THE ENGLISH, Bangladesh

    was the text of what I posted.

  69. on 01 Jun 2008 at 4:25 am Ben

    Time for a Fun Game™: Take text generated by the Twat-O-Tron and paste it into genuine HYS discussions, and then wait and see if any Real Twats happen to agree with the nonsensical gubbins generated by this glorious monstrosity.

  70. on 01 Jun 2008 at 10:01 am Alex

    Good idea, but for best results, we should make sure we get the threads early. Much as HYS seems to be a competition to get the most psychotic fascist post as possible past the moderators, it’s mostly just a race.

  71. on 01 Jun 2008 at 10:57 am A.N

    hmmm, of the one’s i’ve posted, a roughly 50% acceptance rate. They will accept “carpet bomb them flat” but not “nuke them all” it seems.

    This gem has 31 recs, but I changed one of the words (see if you can guess which):

    “First things first,, the media wnot admit htat ptahetic liberal smoker huggers are hugging hoodies to,,, End this madness now, carpet bomb them all flat,,, Next!”

  72. on 01 Jun 2008 at 4:30 pm Phil

    The “creative spelling” function ought to be proud of itself for this one:

    I cant believe where this country is headed!.t he bbc pretends it’s not true but we are being brainwashed into lining their pockets. Read my lips: stand up and be cunted. BNP for England!!!!!

    BNP for UK Cardiff

    I can’t wait until we are all cunted standing up.

  73. on 02 Jun 2008 at 12:18 pm Em

    Count the cunts…it’s those pesky women again[!!?]

    Another example of ripoff Britain!! Open your eyes people! women are selling us down the river because they are building an EU superstate. We must stand up and be counted.

    Shameful_UK Big Brother Government

  74. on 02 Jun 2008 at 12:19 pm Em

    I’M NOT BEING RACIST BUT SOFT-TOUCH BRITAIN IS TRYING TO BRING IN LEGISLATION TOALLOW GAYS TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE THEY ARE BARELY HUMAN! WHEN WILL THIS GOVERNMENT PUT THEM IN A ROCKET AN DFIRE THEM IN TO THE SUN. IF YOU DISAGREE SHUT UP!!!!!

    Genius :-)

  75. on 02 Jun 2008 at 4:03 pm huck

    I read in the Sun that council estate scum are pandering to ethnics and gays because of Gordon Brown. We must smash the system.

    Gordon Clown Out Now london

  76. on 03 Jun 2008 at 7:57 am dabblepants

    how about adding a ‘you heard it here first’ in the ensemble?

    Not that it really needs much improvement, well done!

    Now I’m just waiting for them to TAX ME fer the privvillidje of using it!

  77. on 03 Jun 2008 at 8:06 am dabblepants

    ‘I am very angry about this…. Open youre yes people! enviro-marxist do-gooders are betraying our freeodms because it’s politically correct… Isn’t it obvious? go round their houses with a pair of pliers and a can of petrol… Nothing will ever change!!!

    [UnionJackForever] Glasgow’

    Pure genius.

  78. on 03 Jun 2008 at 9:03 am Xander

    This should be submitted to the Turin test – it’s so… (HYS)human.

  79. on 03 Jun 2008 at 10:01 am matt

    IT’S OBVIOUS THAT SCIENTISTS ARE SPONGING OFF THE TAXPAYER. ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? STRING THEM ALL UP. ANYBODY ON THE OTHER HAND, WHO WNATS TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A CHILD, OUGHT TO BE EXTERMINATED!

    Tired Of PC loonies Leeds

    This is the best thing on the internet!!

  80. on 03 Jun 2008 at 1:38 pm Alex

    Is there a way to feed this directly into the real site? I hope to God there is.

  81. on 03 Jun 2008 at 9:39 pm Vanderblue

    I got mine published on the Express site!!! (Vanderblue at 10.37)

    Wonder if it will stay up there…

    “everyone knows modern britain si making england a muslim state because they government is lying to us. somebody should run themo tu of the country. oh wait tht would be too sensible!!!”

  82. on 03 Jun 2008 at 10:24 pm chrisPA

    Added: Tuesday, 3 June, 2008, 21:1 GMT

    Studies sho that prison inmates are prmoting homosexualism Come on rise up against them. Its that simple

    True_Brit ENGLAND FOR THE ENGLISH

  83. on 03 Jun 2008 at 10:27 pm bert bloggs

    Gordon Brown ate my gerbil with his bottom.

  84. on 04 Jun 2008 at 11:59 am Enzyme

    Its sad but true! I read in the Sun that Daily Mail readers are taking over the government. Come on bring back natiaol service. Thisis Communism folks…!??

    The Twat-o-Tron is so clever that it can even simulate a war between windbags. This really does win the internet.

  85. on 04 Jun 2008 at 1:36 pm egrommet

    THIS POST WILL PROBABLY BE DELETED. … I HAVE BEEN REALISING OVER THEP AS TFEW YEARS THAT BENEFITS CHEATS ARE STEALING MY CARTAX… READ MY LIPS: ELECT KILROY NOW… IM VOTING BNP IN THE NEXT ELECTION ITS THE SENSIBLE CHOICE!?!

    Liberal_lefty_bias Revoluotionsville

    I need to go change now. This is awesome

  86. on 04 Jun 2008 at 4:17 pm TW

    Great – I hadn’t seen the HYS generator before but this is brilliant.

    publish this if you dare. studies show that the eu will soon be helping their scottish comrades. wake up people! run them ou of the country. time to get nu-liar-bore out!!!!!

    What_happened_to_my_country timbuktu

    Recommended by 224 people

    I actually think I saw that on HYS…

  87. on 04 Jun 2008 at 7:02 pm Allix

    The last thing that this work of UTTER GENIUS needs is a trackback ability. I’d like to be able to paste this into a BBC HYS thread and then register it (text and url) on this site.

    After two days, the site here automatically loads the URL, finds the comment and records the recommend count.

    I’d love to know what piece of Turing bait got the most fervant idiot responses!

    “The problem with the Turing Test is that most people I know would fail…”

  88. on 05 Jun 2008 at 10:17 am John

    “Mark my words. I heard tis week that migrants are raping our kids. when will Gordon go round their houses with a pair of pliers and a can of petrol. Disgraceful!!

    Shameful_UK Big Brother Government”

    Brilliant, just brilliant!

  89. on 05 Jun 2008 at 12:34 pm Xander

    Sad but true. its obvious that Prince Phillip is stealing my cartax because Britain is now under sharia law. Read my lips: elect Boris Johnson as prime minister.

    Decent Chap Glasgow

  90. on 05 Jun 2008 at 2:00 pm Becky

    Brilliant-genius, if very scary.
    I never knew the environazis were islamifying the countryside.

    stunned and amazed expat, Australia.

  91. on 05 Jun 2008 at 2:45 pm Dalek13

    “I read hat the human rights brigade are turning our kids gay. when will Gordon stop taking it lying down. FACT!!!”

    My country is being betrayed Immigration Central

    What a little gem!! This should win the Turing prize. End of.

  92. on 05 Jun 2008 at 4:07 pm Nelson

    Lets see now! Open your eyes peple! hybrid embryos are playng the race card. True patriots must speak English.
    Winston Churchill Wirral

  93. on 05 Jun 2008 at 4:26 pm Steve

    another example of ripoff britain!! when will people realise that prince phillip is run by communists. somebody should string them all up.

    Immigrants Out Of England Londonistan

    Recommended by 295 people

  94. on 06 Jun 2008 at 12:14 pm Sammo

    “No!!… i my opinion we are being brainwashed into welcoming criminals with opn arms. True patriots must build ore prsions, lock em up and throw away the key. what’s it going to be – only you can choose!!!

    Whydo Webother london”

    God-damn. I suspect there’s more than just simple algorithms behind this. I think they’ve finally found out how to create the long-sought-after artificial unintelligence.


  95. [...] to the monstrously funny site called “spEak You’re bRanes” and the simply amazing Twat O Tron, I no longer have the faintest idea if the garbage posted on the BBC website’s have your say [...]


  96. [...] Yes, there is! [...]

  97. on 08 Jun 2008 at 11:07 pm Nikki

    I just found this site about half an hour ago and thought it was hilarious but the Twat-O-Tron takes it to a whole new level.

    “mark my words everyone knows obama is taking our country away from us time to act: elect boris johnson as prime minister what about my right not to be killed every day

    cyclops wales”

    Perfect.

  98. on 09 Jun 2008 at 12:27 am Fran

    This is absolute genius.

  99. on 09 Jun 2008 at 9:13 am Killer Whale

    “whites being descriminated against again here come the pc brigade and the nanny state the scottish are giving away are rights to healt htourists because gordon is too busy lining his pockets end this madness now chop their hands off see how they like it what about our rights

    Common sence Shropshire”

    Alarmingly real.

  100. on 09 Jun 2008 at 1:00 pm Nick

    Compare and contrast
    http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

    DOES GORDON BROWN DEFRAUD ENGLAND?

  101. on 10 Jun 2008 at 9:52 am Nelson

    IS THIS NTO THE BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPORATION HERECOME HTE PC BRIGADE AND THE NANNY STATE! THE LOONY LEFT IS TRYING TO BRING I LEGISLATION TO ALLOW GAYS TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE OUR CULTURE HAS BEEN EMASCULATED, TRUE PATRIOTS MUST INTRODUCE ZERO TOLERANCE, WHAT NEXT? LETTING PAEDOS OUT OF JAIL? OOPS. THEY DO TI ALREADY!?!

    cyclops Liverpool

    Recommended by 296 people

  102. on 10 Jun 2008 at 11:38 am Mike

    Sir (or madam) I salute you! Absolute undiluted pure class.

  103. on 10 Jun 2008 at 11:44 am Reg

    You’ve been registered : http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/06/10/have_your_say/

  104. on 10 Jun 2008 at 4:01 pm Cunty Left Bollok

    Cock On!

  105. on 10 Jun 2008 at 4:09 pm bug!

    If the timestamp minutes are less than 10, then no padding zero is added, e.g.:

    Added: Tuesday, 10 June, 2008, 17:5 GMT

    … and it’s BST at the mo.

  106. on 10 Jun 2008 at 5:28 pm Some Bloke

    There’s something odd hapenning wit hthe header: “105 reponses to …..”

    It’s all down the side of the displayed response and overlapping it, along with the “Next” button.

    Viewed in IE6. Dunno what it’s like with a proper browser.


  107. [...] The Slogger-o-matic Create yor very own slogger threads or Daily Mail op-ed pieces from the comfort of your favourite chair Speak you’re branes [...]

  108. on 10 Jun 2008 at 5:43 pm Automated Patriotism « Pensee Noir

    [...] Well here’s the tool for all you true Brits out there, the Twat-A-Tron. [...]

  109. on 10 Jun 2008 at 8:20 pm meneame.net

    "Capull-O-Tron", el generador automático de comentarios idiotas [En]…

    Su nombre en inglés es "Twat-O-Tron", y genera comentarios de tipo HYS ("Have Your Say", comentarios en la BBC) como si fueran hechos por gente enfadada o tontalbote, es decir, tipo troll. ¿Para cuando uno así en Menéame? ;-)

  110. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:21 pm Alex

    Bloody Hell – fifty recommendations on real HYS.

    it’s sad but true. in my opinion criminals ar islamifying britain because of thir so-called ‘humanr ight’. soon we will vote bnp. lets do what the french do and all strike!!!

    English_forever, England

    Recommended by 50 people

  111. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:31 pm Alex

    …And it’s at the top!

    You heard it here first – an automated idiot-machine won HYS. These cattle will vote for a piss-take over their own.

  112. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:44 pm Ed

    Have you got the link Alex – you don’t expect us to wade through HYS do you!

    “Capull-O-Tron”… first translation, fantastic.

  113. on 11 Jun 2008 at 1:22 am Ed

    I gave in to temptation, and went in search of the ToT’s output…

    http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=2&forumID=4931&edition=1&ttl=20080611022138&#paginator

    It’s now at number two on the recommendations list but even still… you couldn’t make it up! SYBers modding it up I suppose.

  114. on 11 Jun 2008 at 10:08 am Sammo

    That thread is a rich vein of potential ToT material. Like this gobshite for example:

    “Why are the authorities intent on fannying about with these creatures?

    They want to kill us.

    DEPORT THEM!

    Withnail Xtreme, Camden Town

    Recommended by 140 people”

  115. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:17 am A.N

    I think the tactic of swamping HYS with so much of this that they’re forced to change the recommending system is the way forward. I’ve got 6 or 7 up at the moment, hunt them out!

  116. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:22 am david

    Just discovered a new way to waste an hour T-O-T spotting on HYS…

    Two in the PMQ thread as far as I can see…

  117. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:25 am backslash

    this is far too addictive! a new HYS has just gone up – “Should we be able to choose when we die?”. who’s up for a ToT recommendations competition??

  118. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:27 am backslash

    one ToT comment was doing really well in the PMQ thread, but seems to have been deleted.

    NEXT STOP HELL ON EARTH PEOPLE! what a shame!

  119. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:40 am A.N

    Think that all the ones in the PMQ thread were mine, but sadly more than half of them have been deleted. There’s one still doing quite well though.

  120. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:46 am A.N

    Make that two doing quite well

  121. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:48 am A.N

    Wait for it to go mad in ten minutes when all the gaping hyena-gash city boys go on lunch….

  122. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:59 am JJ Melligan

    NEW HYS UP!

    go go go go go

  123. on 11 Jun 2008 at 2:31 pm Alex

    It’s here:
    http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=2&forumID=4931&edition=1&ttl=20080611152954&#paginator

    Sunk a bit since last night but since it mentions the BNP I’m sure the radical slaphead brigade will be back with new identities to recommend it some more.

  124. on 11 Jun 2008 at 2:52 pm backslash

    A few good ones got through on the George Bush thread – not doing to well on the recommendations though. I think the lefty commie BBC are on to us though – I posted about 15 on the jury trial thread and they were all blocked. LIBERAL LEFTY BIAS! NAPLAM THEM ALLTO THE GROUND!!!

  125. on 11 Jun 2008 at 4:56 pm Nick Griffin

    This site is full of pretentious twats who obviously have no idea what real life is like.

  126. on 11 Jun 2008 at 5:53 pm JJ Melligan

    Nick, you’re trolling the wrong comment page.

  127. on 11 Jun 2008 at 6:55 pm johan

    oh man i just peed my pants. thank you sir.

  128. on 11 Jun 2008 at 9:31 pm The Gnome Secretary

    This site is full of pretentious twats who obviously have no idea what real life is like.

    Hiya fuckmunch! I wasn’t aware that the world I’m living in isn’t real.

    Or do you only enter the real world (and become a man no doubt) when you act as a mouthpiece for the Daily Mail?

    And if you really don’t like this site and the people on it, why not fuck off somewhere you’re welcome. I hear the BNP site has a forum, for example.

  129. on 11 Jun 2008 at 9:34 pm The Gnome Secretary

    (am assuming you’re not the *the* Nick Griffin of course)

  130. on 12 Jun 2008 at 10:35 am Bigot Taunter

    (am assuming you’re not the *the* Nick Griffin of course)

    Please, please, let it be true, I can see lots of opportunity for baiting.


  131. [...] Say’ quote on the BBC website…and we wonder how this got passed I gonna post this (from the Twat-O-Tron): unbelievable bbc left-leaning bias again!. i have been realising over the past few years that [...]


  132. [...] bRanes is dedicated to documenting these crazy opinions, and they’ve even developed a twat-o-tron that automatically generates fascist drivel. Tags: have your say, razor’s edge, references, speak [...]

  133. on 12 Jun 2008 at 6:57 pm HYSer

    I fully agree with all comments generated by this device (no really). Twat-O-Tron for prime minister!

    PS Nuke the Jews!!!!

  134. on 12 Jun 2008 at 7:10 pm Drew

    I get the creepy feeling that, whatever these individuals’ political sentiments, quite a lot of the comments have actually been created by some random generator… like they’re actually being pre-generated as they get posted on the ‘Have Your Say’ forums.

    Does anybody else notice the patterns of “… are turning our kids gay!” and “… it is vital we send them to Iraq!” ??

    Surely only a random script generator can create such inconsistent crap again and again in different patterns. And I’m pretty sure there’s hardly anyone out there smart enough (and with enough time on their hands) to create that sort of thing AND vote BNP / read the Daily Express / generally be a deliberately fascist c*nt on BBC forums.

    Still, it is funny nevertheless…

  135. on 12 Jun 2008 at 7:59 pm Kimo

    For years we have been striving to create artificial intelligence. But you have succeeded in creating something even more amazing: artificial ignorance.

  136. on 12 Jun 2008 at 8:22 pm Bob Holness

    “Drew

    I get the creepy feeling that, whatever these individuals’ political sentiments, quite a lot of the comments have actually been created by some random generator… like they’re actually being pre-generated as they get posted on the ‘Have Your Say’ forums.

    Does anybody else notice the patterns of “… are turning our kids gay!” and “… it is vital we send them to Iraq!” ??

    Surely only a random script generator can create such inconsistent crap again and again in different patterns. And I’m pretty sure there’s hardly anyone out there smart enough (and with enough time on their hands) to create that sort of thing AND vote BNP / read the Daily Express / generally be a deliberately fascist c*nt on BBC forums.

    Still, it is funny nevertheless…”

    Wait, are you talking about the Twat-o-tron? Lol.

  137. on 12 Jun 2008 at 11:13 pm bashar

    ‘Let’s see now. I have been realising over the past few years that drug scum are using my wheelie bin because of their so-called ‘human rights’. when will this government riot in the streets. It’s political correctness gone mad!’

    Liberal_lefty_bias london

  138. on 12 Jun 2008 at 11:58 pm bashar

    ‘Cant you see that the Scottish are using my wheelie bin because the scottish mafia is running the country,, Soon we will put them in a rocket and fire them in to the sun,,, We need less emotion and more backbone in his country!’

    [Storm_Saxon] Liverpool

  139. on 13 Jun 2008 at 8:29 am Joel

    “TYPICAL. THE BBC PRETENDS ITS NOT TRUE BUT THE HUMAN RIGHTS BRIGADE ARE DENYING OUR FREEDOMS. IT’S TIME WE GET TOUGH. FACT!!!

    Common sence Glasgow”

    The human rights brigade are indeed, denying us our freedoms. The freedoms to be a twat, for one…

  140. on 13 Jun 2008 at 2:54 pm Suntan

    This is pure GENIUS. I am laughing my arse off here at work I really am.

    I’d give you money for this, seriously has made my day! I’d say get a paypal donate button but paypal are a bunch of arseclowns

  141. on 14 Jun 2008 at 11:38 pm hahahee

    Do real men have penises?

  142. on 15 Jun 2008 at 1:44 am ho hum

    amusing but weak.

    keep laughing while you can until
    you have to find a new place to live or a job…

  143. on 15 Jun 2008 at 1:53 am Bernard

    Is that from the twat-o-tron? It may as well be.

  144. on 15 Jun 2008 at 7:02 pm Alex

    Lay off ho hum, he has got a point. Prices of everything are rising in Britain, jobs and homes are scarce. And the twat-o-tron not only suggests perfectly rational causes for this situation, but entirely workable solutions.

  145. on 15 Jun 2008 at 8:52 pm Null

    I was socked to discover that people exist who spell ‘peadophile’ with an ‘f’, Its just sad that such a level of ignorance can exist.

    Any spelling mistakes in this post were inserted for ironic humour.

  146. on 16 Jun 2008 at 10:45 pm Her Majesty The Queen

    “Typical, it’s not politically correct to say so but Iraq is using my wheelie bin, Read my lips: Send them all back were they came from, England for the English!!!”
    NuLabour MUST GO Manchester
    Recommended by 81 people

    Fool! You have spawned a monster! Your well meaning hubris has unleashed the slumbering Kraken and we will all be trampled beneath it’s scaly foot or crushed between its slavering jaws.

    Civilisation will fall for this.

  147. on 17 Jun 2008 at 11:39 pm Decent Chap London

    Whites being descirminated againt again!. I couldn’t care less but pc liberlaists are giving money to their cronies because they’re ruining Britain. Every British working man must bring back Hitler. No joke!!

  148. on 18 Jun 2008 at 6:42 am TURFING

    A Pentangle For Your Thoughts……

    The problem is, if god is dead, then you lose the most important word in your language and you will need a substitute. God was one end, one extreme, and when one extreme disappears from your mental vision the necessary and inevitable is that you will f…

  149. on 18 Jun 2008 at 8:41 am Chelle

    hybrid embryos are encouraging terrorists because our country is full already…

    Ahahahahahaha! This thing is so good that it scares me.

  150. on 19 Jun 2008 at 10:34 am Mitchell Stirling

    GLOBAL WARMING CLIMATE CHANGE, NO SUCH THING, ITS JUST ANOHTER TAX!. ITS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT TO SAY SO BUT COUNCIL ESTATE SCUM ARE MOANING ABOUT “HUMAN RIGHTS” AGAIN. ITS’ TIME WE SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. WHAT NEXT? ALLOWING IN FOREIGNERS? OOPS. THEY DO IT ALREADY!?!

    NuLabour MUST GO Manchester

    Recommended by 57 people

    Sure I have read that one before?

  151. on 19 Jun 2008 at 3:38 pm scott

    t makes me sick. the bbc pretends its not true but soft-touch britain is making england a muslim state. it is vital that we send them to iraq. why did nobody listen to enoch powell all those years ago?!!

    awesomeness

  152. on 19 Jun 2008 at 5:23 pm DannyBoyB

    “its not politically correct to say so but prenant childrenare too ‘softly softly’ because of terrorists,, it is vital that we bring back hitler,,, its disgutsing!

    Sensible Bloke bury st edmunds ”

    True genius!

  153. on 22 Jun 2008 at 3:03 pm Plautus

    Now I know what the trolls on certain ex-BBC spin-off board have been using. Only their version pretends to take the ‘liberal’ side, so plenty of ‘homophobic’ and ‘misogynist’ should one suggest that effeminate boys do not always grow up gay and domestic life matters more than long hours in a boring job (for men as well as women)

  154. on 23 Jun 2008 at 2:35 am Splojj

    I am not anti-left-wing but look on the Radio 4 boards, especially Woman’s Hour and you will see exactly the same gobbledegook hiding under Leftist credentials. Posters to look for are Pippop, who thinks boys wear baggy pants because they all feel inadequate compared to the ‘over-endowed’ porn stars they all compare themselves to, Jean Hartrick who could make Miss Jean Brody look a swinger and Redbookish who can quote so many feminist sources that she has long since lost any ability to form any idea off her own bat.

  155. on 23 Jun 2008 at 3:16 am Nelson

    If you trudge through the site you’ll find a few taking the piss out of “left” opinions too. It’s just there tends to be less to laugh at… “Hahaha, that bloke who’s concerned about the plight of Iraqi children can’t spell ‘sanctions’!”. Doesn’t work see? :)

  156. on 23 Jun 2008 at 1:36 pm admirable chrichton

    oh god not this again! imo the scottish are islamifying britain, we muts leect kilry now, diana was murdered!!!

    DISGUSTED wales

    Its like taking an apprehensive wade in the shitty end of the Express reading fraternities meme pool

  157. on 24 Jun 2008 at 2:55 pm UKSkin

    Flaptacular!

  158. on 25 Jun 2008 at 11:59 am Very Tenables

    TWAS EVER THUS!.. OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE! HOMOSEXUALS ARE BUILDING MOSKS ON EVERY CORNER BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BREED A HYBRID FETUS… TIME TO ACT: BUILD MORE PRISONS LOCK EM UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY… WHOS FAULT IS THAT?!!

    Posted; let’s see how we get on.

    This could become dangerously addictive.

    Perhaps it’s a gateway twat-o-tron.

  159. on 25 Jun 2008 at 12:59 pm Very Tenables

    This twat-o-tron is obviously a total failure.

    I asked it for help in creating something appropriate, yet the proffered comment was summarily rejected.

    Unless, of course, it is the liberal-left moderators too scared of being sacked by the communist BBC who were scared to publish the truth.

  160. on 25 Jun 2008 at 4:13 pm Dangerous Beans

    “no it s obvious that criminal gangs are making it illegal to be patriotic all englishmen should abolish tax disgraeful

    Smart_Guy bury st edmunds”

    Does ToT feed itself or was the source generated from a seed trawl?

    Be nice to point it to different HYS boards to generate more relevant shite* and perhaps confuse the mods even more…

    * this way could lie madness – turd eating turds…

  161. on 27 Jun 2008 at 12:22 pm The Slogger-o-matic

    [...] The Slogger-o-matic Create your very own slogger threads or Daily Mail op-ed pieces from the comfort of your favourite chair Speak you’re branes [...]

  162. on 27 Jun 2008 at 9:50 pm Bigot Generator. « ModernityBlog

    [...] instead of reading those web sites just take a look at this particular piece of code, which generates some really nauseating comments, one after [...]


  163. [...] and sociopathic urges of the commenters to the BBC’s ‘Have Your Say’ website: the Twat-O-Tron. None of the comments are made up. None of them. Make plans to flee now: I suggest the Moon. [...]

  164. on 29 Jun 2008 at 5:57 pm DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells

    Someone’s posted one on the times site -

    “Its time to get rid of these’s crooks,Gobal warming is a sham,just an excuse to steal money,we don’t need this farce anymore,PM’s Parliament,smoke and mirrors,
    it time for a new direction

    KENNETH BOWRY, LONDON, ”

    Daring.

  165. on 30 Jun 2008 at 4:41 pm Linda

    I’ve begun to realize that the BBC is a gigantic propaganda arm of the British government and one of its main functions is to put forth the ‘idea’ British ‘ideals’ — of how they should react and feel to world events.

    One of the main ways they do this is by pretending to be a site taking and composed of feedback — when their feedback is carefully pre-screened to make sure only comments fed in that match the current party line ever see the light of day. There’s no way a normal person can even ask a different question on a topic in a different way — they are like “Pollsters” that create the question to elicit an answer and only accept a narrow range of multiple choice answers.
    I admire the Brits in some ways — but begin to realize the holes in their government are as much or more maddening than the US system. There you don’t feel you are even being heard — so I can see why there is more violence that pervades their society. In the US, being ‘really’ able to ‘rant’, is a steam valve of sorts — allowing people to blow off energy publicly — having the effect of lowering frustration levels for most people.
    In the US, a reduced amount of ‘acting out’…seems to spill over into the ‘real world’. Look at the injustice and constitutional ball-crushing the Americans have allowed in regards to their last two stolen elections — and nearly a peep from main stream media — and certainly no organized political opposition.

    Maybe it’s a distorted view…but it seems the people in the US are much less free to enact real change than those in the UK (though the average citizen is screwed in both locations). No wonder the Queen and Herr Bush are such friends.

  166. on 01 Jul 2008 at 2:56 pm Helen

    I heard this week that Labour is trying to control our lives!.. A wise man once said make sure everyone knows…

    Voice of Reason Welwyn Garden City

    This seems suitably insane for HYS, wish me luck…

  167. on 01 Jul 2008 at 4:19 pm Leon

    Probably less than 100 lines of code to emulate the average HYSer! LOL

  168. on 02 Jul 2008 at 9:41 am Luke

    The Daily Mail will be able to fire most of their hacks now, won’t they?

  169. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:25 pm Randog

    “Sad but true. studies show that do gooders are steailn gmy cartax. The only solution is ot lock our kids away to save them. You heard it here first!!

    Smart_Guy Uk, United Kingdom”

    HAHA – brilliance!

  170. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:29 pm Randog

    “Is this what the BBC licence tax gets spent on??! all right-thinking people know that terrorists are trying to save the planet’ again because they are anti-american. End this madness now string them all up. Anybody on the other hand, who wants to have a relationship with a child, ought to be exterminated.

    Persecuted_in_his_own_country The Real World”

    “EVERYONE KNOWS ENVIROMENTALISTS ARE PROMOTING TEENAGE PREGNANCY. COME ON BRING BACK NATIONAL SERVICE.

    [Handsome Bloke] Leeds”

    ROFL.

  171. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:35 pm Randog

    “The bbc pretends it’s not true but prgenant chilren are tryig t obring in legislation to allow gays to get married, Every British working an must bring back hangign, WHAT A SHAME!!!

    British Bulldog Not France”

    Best. T-o-T. Ever.

  172. on 03 Jul 2008 at 10:41 pm Sam Cox

    typical nu-labour arrognce open your eyes people ethnics are making england a muslim state because this country is no longer ours the only solution is to vote bnp hell in a handcart

    Decent Chap bury st edmunds

    Scarily realistic – heard that sentiment expressed by quite a few people!

  173. on 07 Jul 2008 at 11:45 am Rich

    Classic. Who’d have thought that Daily Mail readers were the cause of all our problems:

    the media wont admit that daily mail readers aer gteting freebies. somebody should put them i na rocket and fire them in to the sun. what about my right not to be killed every day?!!!!!

    [Storm_Saxon] Shropshire

    Well said Sir. Down with the Mail.


  174. [...] And the reaction from the Great British Public? Going by the BBC’s Have Your Say forum (aka spEak You’re bRanes), it is by and large a single-digit salute to the nanny state. Here we have lumpen [...]

  175. on 07 Jul 2008 at 6:18 pm Adrian

    [quote]LIES DAMN LIES AND STISTICS!, I READ THAT NON-TAXPAYERS ARE TURNING OUR KIDS GAY BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO DESTROY US, IT IS VITAL THAT WE USE NAPALM,

    Captain Sensible Nottingham

    Recommended by 19 people[/quote]

  176. on 08 Jul 2008 at 12:53 pm Ben

    Eurowogs burn their own kind.

  177. on 08 Jul 2008 at 1:25 pm Naich

    Got one on the BBC HYS – “Is the UK at risk of recession?” :

    “Added: Tuesday, 8 July, 2008, 09:50 GMT 10:50 UK

    Stupid question. studies show that New Labour is getting rich off the hard working population. Time to act: bring back hanging. What a mess!??

    UnionJackForever, Immigration Central

    Recommended by 0 people”

    I’m disappointed no-one has recommended it.

  178. on 09 Jul 2008 at 2:42 pm Sam

    COULD THE BBC GIVE HOUSE PRICES CANCER?

    Straight from the Daily Mail-o-matic: http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

  179. on 10 Jul 2008 at 2:23 pm Very Tenables

    Give children a ‘Citizenship Test’, and then deport them to Guantanamo Bay.

    From http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/blunkett

    (Inspired to look by Sam, above. Thanks.)

    Ok, Blunkett is long gone, but the generated pronouncements actually stand a lot more chance of being posted on HYS than even the twat-o-tron.

    Sorry.

  180. on 17 Jul 2008 at 12:26 pm OXXMAN

    [quote]Does anyone realise that Daily Mail readers are giving money to their cronies The only solution is to stand up and be counted,

    Mr angry Uk, United Kingdom[/quote]

    Well there’s something I can agree with!

  181. on 17 Jul 2008 at 5:27 pm Suicide Bots

    [...] Twat-o-Tron is a neat script that mimics the xenophobic bollocks spewed by many of the commenters on the [...]

  182. on 18 Jul 2008 at 2:38 pm Chris

    This is on ‘Is it a good time to be green?’

    Added: Friday, 18 July, 2008, 11:54 GMT 12:54 UK

    global warming climate change, no such thing, its just another tax!. i have been realising over the past few years that soft-touch britain is going to put us all in death camps. read my lips: run them out of the country. what next? welcoming foreign criminals? oops. they do it already!!!

    My country is being betrayed, Revoluotionsville

    Recommended by 1 person

  183. on 21 Jul 2008 at 1:34 pm Tane Piper

    If you run this through stuipidfilter.org will the internet explode?

  184. on 23 Jul 2008 at 4:43 pm Isaac Vega

    Wow… you know what the sad thing is? It’s indistinguishable from a lot of things I hear from the extreme-right republicans here in the US.

    I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry… probably both.

  185. on 25 Jul 2008 at 1:13 am Martin Meenagh

    Pure genius. Many thanks.

  186. on 01 Aug 2008 at 4:36 pm neil

    this post will probably be deleted. . i read in the sun that this country is overflowing with illegal immigrants, even the local chippy is run by poles. they are going to put us all in death camps because gordon is too busy lining his pockets. isn’t it obvious? say enough is enough. that would certainly cause a bit more care to be taken!!!

    ex-Squaddie Birmingham

  187. on 03 Aug 2008 at 8:29 pm Morus

    I just got this one:

    “The bbc pretends its not true but all parties except the BNP are building mosks on every corner because they want to breed a hybrid fetus. Nine words: round them all up and lock them away. What about OUR rights?!!”

    Did the Twat-O-Tron deliberately put “nine words:” then only write eight? If so, this wondrous device is clearly cleverer and more devastatingly humourous than I dared believe…

  188. on 03 Aug 2008 at 9:18 pm Kieran

    This is amazing. Absolutely amazing.

  189. on 04 Aug 2008 at 2:09 pm A Sam who needs a pseudonym

    Jesus Christ, I think it’s getting smarter. Or more coherently ignorant, at least. I vote we switch it off, now, before it’s too late. End of!!!!

    I am very angry about this!. its the ethnic minorities gays and lesbians complaining again. the establishment is betraying our freedoms. All true brits should speak English. No doubt this is illegal under the eu human rights act!

    UK stinks Birmingham

  190. on 06 Aug 2008 at 4:14 pm Duncan McAlister

    Gordon brown still it at i see! all right-thinking people know that migrants are recruiting ethnics into the police force. when wil this government ban them all. Next stop WAR!

    Immigrants Out Of England wales

    Typical. the bbc pretends it’s not true but immigrants are making England a Muslim State. Simple answer: elect Kilroy now.

    BNP for UK Glasgow

    Lets see now!.. the media won’t admit that EnviroMENTALists are lining their pockets because our country is full already… when will this government ban them all… BNP for England!!!

    Tired Of PC loonies scotland

    Gordon brown still it at see. its obvious that the human rights brgade are promoting yob culture. Al Englishmen should put them in loony bin. This morning at breakfast my son leaned over to me and in a hushed voice said “Dad we are still in England, aren’t we?” No son, I said. Not any more!!!

    Captain Sensible scotland

    It even builds in the Anglocentricity of your typical right-winger in Scotland and Wales. Genius!

  191. on 06 Aug 2008 at 6:06 pm lotte

    unbelievable bbc left-leaning bias again im not being racist but so-called celebrities are meddling in our lives we must elect kilroy now next stop chaos

    Mad as hell at PC Goons United Kingdom

    Gotta love the juxtaposition of ‘so-called celebrities’ and Kilroy. This is awesome…

  192. on 06 Aug 2008 at 11:41 pm Duncan McAlister

    “Is this not the BRITISH Broadcasting Corporation, I read in the Sun that women are using history to criticis the pope because thye are tryin gtocover up their mistakes, Time to act BAN immoral TV, GREAT britain is going to the dosg!!!!!

    Winston Churchill UK ex-pat, United States”

  193. on 12 Aug 2008 at 3:46 pm Col John Matrix

    Dear God…a terrible thought, but what if you fed the generated posts from the twat-o-tron into HYS, and then fed HYS back into the twat-o-tron.

    An infinite loop of stupidity would be created, which would rapidly grow out of control…it could be the end of life as we know it. FACT! Only one way to stop it – elect Kilroy now!

  194. on 14 Aug 2008 at 1:57 am Grubulous

    I love it, can you reveal how you are generating these. I would love to do a little social experiment with certain groups hominids that haven’t wrapped their heads around evolution…

  195. on 19 Aug 2008 at 3:12 pm Speechless with laughter

    “lies damn lies and stistics all right-thinking people now that the chinese are denying our freedoms when will gordon bring back churchill oh wait that would be too sensible ”

    oh good god, I laughed so much that my ears bled and the snot wouldn’t stop running. It’s tempting to send some of these in anonymously to the Daily Mail headline writers to help them with the hilarious bilge that they front their hate-rag with!

  196. on 19 Aug 2008 at 3:42 pm gren

    opinions are like arseholes – everybody has one and some are cleaner than others

  197. on 24 Aug 2008 at 6:39 pm Richard

    On a bad day this site never fails to make me smile. Love the Twat-O-Tron

  198. on 25 Aug 2008 at 1:00 pm Chris Jones

    ITS THE ETHNIC MINORITIES GAYS AND LESBIANS COMPLAINING AGAIN! THE UN IS USING MY WHEELIE BIN. THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO PUT THEM IN LOONY BIN. IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE RACE RIOTS SPILL BLOOD ON OUR STREETS!!

    Mr angry ENGLAND FOR THE ENGLISH

  199. on 25 Aug 2008 at 4:25 pm lotte

    ‘Sad but true. its obvious that kids today are getting away with murder. when will this government lock our kids away to save them. Oh wait but what about their ‘human rights’!

    Persecuted_in_his_own_country glos, United Kingdom’

    This one is more coherent than most HYS posts. I bet it’d get hundreds of recommendations, if only I could wait for a suitable thread on knifecrime…

  200. on 27 Aug 2008 at 1:50 am i would prefer not to

    I’m very taken with this one:

    another example of ripoff britain it s not politically correct to say so but hillary clinton is raping our kids because they are trying to destroy us read my lips: string them all up no doubt this is legal under the eu human rights act

    SonOfChurchill Glasgow

  201. on 29 Aug 2008 at 4:03 pm Limni

    This is great – hard to believe Gypsies aren’t included as one of the ‘bad guys’ though, always Daily Mail fodder….

  202. on 31 Aug 2008 at 4:38 pm Nix

    Skynet is a bigot.


  203. [...] novelty from spEak You’re bRanes, the site named in homage to the great Day Today segment. The Twat-o-Tron  scoops up the genuine ignorant, illiterate, dribbling right-wing shite you see smeared [...]

  204. on 05 Sep 2008 at 10:38 pm buzz

    The Twat-O-Tron…

    Click the button for more depressingly realistic HYS crap.

    xaxaxaxaxxx!!!!…

  205. on 08 Sep 2008 at 12:49 pm Lucy

    “Here come the pc brigade and the nanny state! New Labour is getting away scott free because they hate our freedoms. Come on burn them alive.

    Libby Lefty Nutcase England ”

    This is honestly indistinguishable from the real thing.

  206. on 09 Sep 2008 at 1:25 pm nick

    Brilliant!

    Gordon brown still it at i see. did you know that teenage gangs are destroying our once great country because they are communists in disguise. End this madness now abolish tax. This is communism folks!!??

    Immigrants Out Of England ENGLISH AND PROUD

  207. on 16 Sep 2008 at 10:32 am Duncan McAlister

    Utterly, scarily realistic and far more coherent than your average HYS’er

    I AM VERY ANGRY ABOUT THIS.. IMO NEW LABOUR IS GETTING AWAY SCOTT FREE BCEAUSE OUR COUNTRY IS FULL ALREADY. SIMPLE ANSWER: BUILD MORE PRISONS LOCK EM UP AND THROW AWAY THEK EY. OH WIAT, BUT WHAT ABOUT THEIR HUMAN RIGHTS’!??

    [Storm_Saxon] United Kingdom

  208. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:51 pm sp

    Fantastic. You could chat away to cab drivers with this thing.

    “Is this not the BRITISH Broadcasing Corporation,, when will people realse that ethnics are sexualising our children,,, True patriots must promot marriage,,,

    English_forever Big Brother Government

    Recommended by 101 people”

  209. on 09 Oct 2008 at 3:31 pm Al

    Anybody else noticed that vitriol spitting anti liberals have severe issues with basic grammar and spelling? Oh yes, and their souls…

  210. on 09 Oct 2008 at 11:25 pm Donniemarco

    pure genius. I salute you :)

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  224. on 05 Mar 2009 at 1:33 pm House of blue lights » Maggot Brain

    [...] form. The real posts are hilarious and scary at the same time. Do take time out though to visit the twat-a-tron, a piece of software that randomly generates a ‘have your say’ comment with brilliant [...]